Four out of five people hate being surveyed.
~~Unknown

A baby is the most complicated object made by unskilled labor.
~~Unknown

Marriage is the operation by which a woman's vanity and a man's egotism are extracted without an anaesthetic.
~~Helen Rowland (1875-1950), U.S. journalist.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
~~ Mark Twain

"The natural progress of things is for government to gain ground and for liberty to yield."
~~ Thomas Jefferson

"When you want to fool the world, tell the truth. "
~~ Otto von Bismarck

"If you believe you can, or if you believe you can't...you're right!"
~~ Unknown

"If you think that this personality is weird, wait until you meet the others."
~~Unknown

"Don't take life too seriously, it’s not like it’s permanent."
~~ Unknown

"I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it!
~~Garrison Keillor

"Life would be so much easier if we had access to the source code."
~~Unknown

"Some people say I must be a horrible person, that's not true. I have the heart of a boy, in a jar on my desk"
~~Stephen King

"The Pledge of Allegiance says '..with liberty and justice for all'. What part of 'all' don't you understand?"
~~ Rep. Pat Schroeder (D) Colorado

"Those who consider something impossible to do are requested not to interfere with those who are doing it!"
~~ Rev. JM McCormick

" I think, therefore I am overqualified."
~~ Unknown

"You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus."
~~ Mark Twain

"I used to always think that I'd look back on us crying and laugh, but I never thought I'd look back on us laughing and cry." - ~~Unknown

"This life is a test.
It is only a test.
Had it been an actual life
You would have received further instructions on
Where to go and what to do!"
~~Unknown

"Sometimes, only one person is missing, and the whole world seems depopulated."
~~ Alphonse De Lamaertine

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."
~~ Angela Monet

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or villafy them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do."
~~ Unknown

"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed is by accident. That's where we come in. We are computer professionals. We cause accidents."
~~Nathaniel Borenstein

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
~~Sue Murphy

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
~~Rita Mae Brown

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.....hahahahahahhaa
~~Jerry Seinfeld

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
~~-Ellen DeGeneres

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'
~~Jake Johansen

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
~~-Lily Tomlin

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'
~~Jerry Seinfeld

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.
~~Lynda Montgomery

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
~~Paul Rodriguez

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, 'A truck!'
~~Emo Phillips

HoneyHoney's Country Girl Hullaballoo
http://www.oocities.org/bornhoney/