If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes", delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most dangerous e-mail virus yet! It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all of your ice cream melts. It will demagnetize the strips on all of your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace field harmonics to render any CD's you try to play unreadable. It will give the ex-wife your new phone number. It will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
It will drink all your beer and leave its socks out on the coffee table when there's company coming over. It will put a dead rat in the back pocket of your good suit and hide your car keys when you are late for work. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your current significant other behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle.
It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will make a big batch of bad meth amphetamine in your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase high school kids with your new snowblower.
HoneyHoney's Country Girl Hullaballo
http://www.oocities.org/bornhoney/