Pregnancy, Childbirth, & Newborns-Pt. 4
My fourth pregnancy was quite planned, but yet it was still a big surprise for me. Before Mark and I married, we discussed having a child or two. Given that I had three cesarean sections already and that I would be 38 or older by the time our child would be born, we opted to try immediately. Little did I know that it would happen on our first try :-) Mark knew for sure before I did. I wasn't even late yet, but we bought a home test and it came up positive. I was floored and couldn't believe it. We ended up doing about five more tests -- all positive. I immediately set up appointments and got those started. I was barely two weeks pregnant when we found out, so when I had my first ultrasound, my beautiful new baby was only six weeks along. I am still in awe over that ultrasound and the picture they gave me. For some strange reason, the US tech added "pink" to the background -- it was a sign for sure :-) I just knew this baby was a boy, but Mark knew better.
Like Amity's gestational period, this one went along just fine with no problems. I was not sick at all :-) I had another ultrasound at 20 weeks and treasure the pictures I have of my last baby. They are priceless! This ultrasound, though, showed placenta previa (where the placenta was ahead of the baby). I was worried, but since I needed another cesarean anyway, the only real worry was that I did not strain on anything, therefore causing abruptio placenta :-( I wanted to know the baby's sex real bad, but that ultrasound didn't prove it. She was being very modest *lol*
In my seventh month, I had another ultrasound to check on the placenta previa, and the US tech was able to see. I was totally floored to see a little girl! I just could not believe my "dream" was wrong this time. See, with my prior pregnancies, I dreamed my babies to the tee of what they would look like....including my twins. I passed the twins off as being in my subconscious mind, as the doc had just told me that he suspected two babies due to my size -- but when I saw them the night of the day they were born, I really couldn't believe my eyes! They were the same two babies I had in my dream -- exactly! I dreamed Jeremy, too -- a chubby blond boy with a reddish face. After my ultrasound proved he was a boy, I knew exactly what he was going to look like -- and sure enough, he did! With Amity, I dreamed a dark skinned, tiny girl with dark hair -- and she was wearing a beautiful pink dress that I had never seen before. When I found out she was a girl for sure, I knew exactly what she was going to look like! And imagine my shock when her godfather-to-be gave me a dress for his soon to be born goddaughter. I was in my seventh month! You got it, it was that same pink dress that I saw Amity wearing in my dream! Uncanny!
So, when I dreamed that I was having a boy with dark skin, dark hair, and who looked just like his dad, I didn't have any doubts! :-) Boy, was that dream ever way off base! Holli is light skinned and has blond hair -- not to forget she's a girl, too :-)
I was overjoyed, though, that my new baby was a girl -- what the heck, I had a lot of experience and a lot of hand-me-downs :-) And my husband wanted a new daughter real bad :-) The hardest thing was coming home from that US and informing my poor son that he didn't get his wish again :-( I cried when I told him, but he took it in stride and said "Oh well, one more sister won't make a difference. I'm sure I'll love her anyway!" :-)
Mark was in TN visiting his dad at the time, so I had a blast teasing him about knowing the US results -- I sent him a few e-mails to torture him, and then I sent him an e-card (a baby girl card) to let him know. He called me immediately and was ecstatic!
Oh, I almost forgot...the placenta previa had cleared up by this time, so all was well....or so I thought.
Not long after this, I started having severe backaches and had a hard time breathing. I was huge despite the fact that I had only gained 6# by this time (8# total). I swole real bad, too. I had cut my hours down at work to only four a day, but that was too much now. Quite often, I would have heart palpitations -- where I could feel my heart beating all through my body. On October 18, I felt really strange after we had walked back to the office from a break, and when I checked my pulse, I noticed skipped beats :-( I had my friend and co-worker check for me, and she, too, felt the skipped beats. I called the L&D department who called my OB and he said to go straight up there.
I went home first and told my mom and my kids, and my oldest daughter came with me. I was scared that I was in early labor since my back pain was quite intense!
But after being monitored and examined, they discovered I was not in labor or even close to being in labor. I called Mark and told him what was going on, and he panicked -- was ready to fly home, but I told him he wouldn't make it in time anyway if I was in labor. He got to hear Holli's heart beat over the phone, so that thrilled him. I was sent to the ER after this to see about my heart. I was monitored and given an EKG on top of being examined. Luckily, there was no damage with my heart and the skips were only premature ventricular contractions (PVC's); but, PVC's can cause sudden cardiac death -- and knowing that scared me beyond being scared.
I saw my OB the next day and he took me off of work and put me on bedrest for a while.
Mark left TN the following day and arrived home the day after. It was good to have him back home since it was so close to the baby's birth.
On November 1, my mom sold us her house, so during the day, we helped her move and at night, we did our moving. Man, was I ever one tired lady -- my poor feet and ankles were so swollen :-( I was bound and determined, though, that I was going to get the house in complete order BEFORE my baby came home; and I did :-) I didn't do any strenuous stuff -- just cleaning and rearranging, but that was more than enough to tire me completely out.
I had my final ultrasound about two weeks before Holli was born, and my OB scheduled my surgery for the 29th of November at 11:00 a.m. We had discussed the details at the very first visit, so if all went well, I was going to have a spinal this time since I had such a rough time before with the epidural. I think the reaction I had made him change his mind about spinals :-) I had also made up my mind to have a tubal ligation done -- against my own heart, but I knew I couldn't risk my life if I should get pregnant again and leave my five kids motherless :-( I also had developed another abdominal hernia, so that was to be repaired at the same time...three surgeries in one.
I went into the hospital just after midnight on the 29th and got all the proper lab work and stuff done. I tried to sleep but was sooo apprehensive that I couldn't, so we walked a lot. After my IV and Foley were inserted, Mark wheeled me around till around 9:30, then my mom and kids came up, and then it was time to go to the L&D room. Now that the IV was done, (how I hate those things!!!) my fear was the spinal -- due to my previous experience with the pain.
Well, the anesthesiologist came in to visit, and I immediately fell in love and felt confident in his hands; but I was still scared.
When it came time to go to the OR, I tried to remain as calm as I could. I saw the anesthesiologist preparing the spinal, and I cringed when I saw the needles :-( But...I got on the OR table and sat straddled as he told me to do and bent over as far as my giant abdomen would allow me. Thank God Mark was with me -- the whole time I was pregnant, I begged him to hold me as tight as he could while the spinal was being done so if I jumped from the pain, I wouldn't break the needle or fall. *lol* Dr. L prepped my back and said he was going to inject the numbing agent, so I would feel a tiny stick. No big deal....it burnt a little but nothing major. Then he told me he was doing the spinal and I felt myself tense up real tight. The next thing I feel is the medicine flowing through and my legs getting numb. I was shocked and amazed that I didn't feel a thing. I told Dr. L that I loved him for that, and he laughed and said "Well, you aren't supposed to feel anything." That's when I knew that Dr. M had made a mistake while doing my spinal to have Jeremy.
Anyway, as soon as I was ready, they draped me, and I couldn't see anyone in front of me :-( I talked to my OB and his wife, but my OB was very professional and too busy to chit chat, so I tried focusing on Mark and Dr. L -- Dr. L looked rather strange upside down *lol* Within seconds, I heard the most beautiful sound -- my precious new daughter crying her butt off. I lost it completely and started crying. I was so relieved to hear that beautiful cry. I was worried that she wasn't okay, but I could tell from that strong and mad cry that she was just fine. I wanted to see her so badly, but the nurses were working on her and Mark was taking pictures and kept telling me she was beautiful. Dr. L kept talking to me and rubbing my forehead and face. What a treasure he is! I heard my new baby's Apgar score of 9/10 at five minutes, so I knew everything was fine. And I heard her weight of 7# 6 oz. and her length of 19 1/2", and then they brought her to my face. Oh, what a beautiful sight she was! She was covered in vernix and her eye lids had stork bites on them, and her cheeks were red as red could be (we assume through scratching while in utero), but all I saw was her beauty. All I could see of her was her fat little face. I was looking at her sideways, but I managed to kiss her eye (and got a mouth full of antibiotics); and as I had planned, I sang to her -- my own version of The Barney Song -- welcoming her to our family :-) I cried the whole time :-) Singing that little song to her had everyone in the room choked up and smiling -- now whether it was cause that was a sweet gesture or it was cause my singing leaves nothing to the imagination, I don't know :-))) I fear it's the latter, though *lol*
The nurse gave the baby to Mark, so I tried to stay focused on her and her daddy, but the pain I started feeling was unbearable. Dr. L increased the medicine in my IV which made my eyes real heavy, but I kept saying I didn't want to pass out. He asked me once more to describe the pain, so I did. He said I wasn't supposed to be feeling any of that, but I was :-( It was a burning pain in my abdomen. Every so often I could see my OB's hands hitting up against the drape -- they were flying. Mark told me later on that he had watched much of the surgery and Dr. C's hands flew through the procedure. I wish I had been able to see, but....they wouldn't allow me :-(
I was really starting to panic as the pain intensified, but Dr. L took care of that, and before I knew it, the whole procedure was done, and Dr. C started joking around with me, and I thanked him for bringing my new baby in the world -- all the while I was still crying. I never could understand why I was so "upset" -- well not at that point. Dr. C's wife told me later on that the reason I hurt so much was cause my uterus was just mush and they had to start the Pitocin drip immediately and in a high dosage in order to firm my uterus up so he could suture it!
Anyway, I was moved to the Labor & Delivery bed, and they placed my new baby in my arms -- she had been screaming that whole time, but the minute they put her near me, she ceased crying :-) That was soooooo special :-)
Despite the pain during surgery, this delivery was A+. Being able to hear my baby the minute she was born and seeing her just minutes later and then holding her not quite an hour after her birth was the most special experience!
As they wheeled us down the hall, I could see my mom and my other kids, and they all followed us in the L&D room. Everyone doted over Holli and me, and I continued to cry nonstop -- Mark took a bunch of pictures, and I look like I have been through hell and back.
I think we stayed in there about an hour -- the whole while, I held my precious new baby ever so tight :-)
When we got back to my room, I had to give her up so she could go in the incubator to warm up -- but it was so cold in my room that my nurse had to take her to the nursery :-( But, as things turned out, it's a good thing she was in the nursery :-(
Poor L, she knew me well as she had been a nurse in the nursery at the hospital the twins and Jeremy were born at and she had taken care of me and Amity nearly three years prior at that hospital. Well, she asked me if I was still having pain despite the spinal. I was STILL crying! I told her that the pain was just mild cramping and no big deal, but she said "Well, that's what this IV drip of Stadol is for. I'll up it to 50 mg. instead of the 25 you are getting now." I told her it really wasn't necessary, but....she said it would help me rest.
Little did we know....
I did fall asleep off and on during phone calls, but then I went completely out of my mind -- I don't even know what time it was. Mark says there are zillion things I don't remember saying or doing during this ordeal -- some were funny and some not, and he was never so scared in all of his life. He was not happy that I had the tubal ligation done, but he told me later on that after seeing me go through all of that, he was glad I did it.
What I do remember was my legs hurting real bad and I was still "asleep" (eyes remained closed), but I was screaming that someone was hurting my legs and I remember kicking my legs. I didn't know what was happening to me, but even in such a drugged up state, I knew it wasn't right. The spinal with Jeremy lasted about 12 hours before starting to wear off, and this one was wearing off way too fast. The pains in my legs were completely unbearable. I don't remember anything else until later that evening when my mom and kids came to visit. I woke up for a very short time and remember seeing my son sitting in the chair next to my bed. Those big blue eyes of his were staring at me, and I remember telling him to quit staring at me. I couldn't believe I said that to my sweet little boy. He was just worried about me -- thinking I was in a coma or something. I remember my mom trying to feed me some butterscotch pudding, and I spit it out. I absolutely hate butterscotch. So, then she tried to force some soup or broth down, and it was scalding hot and burned my mouth :-(
I also remember that they brought my baby to me but I don't remember if I held her or not :-( Mom told me later on that she fed her the first bottle (water).
I was told that I saw a horse in the hallway and told an empty chair to get out of my room (he was making noise) and said a bunch of other things that were comical -- like our dog was in the middle of the road and someone needed to get her!
I don't remember mom and the kids leaving. Later that night, I remember screaming at the top of my lungs -- things like I was dying and I wanted to go home....all the while doing this with my eyes closed.
Then I remember feeling like someone was in my room and I opened my eyes to see Mark and two nurses standing there talking about me. This one nurse said that I had to stop screaming cause they could hear me down the hall and in the nurse's station. I had no idea what was going on and she totally ticked me off. I immediately told her to get out of my room, and she got even uglier with me, which apparently rubbed me the wrong way and I started screaming and demanding my baby girl. She then threatened me that I would NEVER see my baby again unless I shut up. Well, that did it! I started screaming at the top of my lungs -- calling her everything known to man and even some that aren't known. I told her she better get out of my room and never return and that I was reporting her for abusing me. The other nurse and Mark kept trying to calm me down, but it was to no avail :-( Mark cornered that mean nurse outside and told her that if she ever threatened me again with never seeing my baby, he was going to come down on her real hard and told her that she better not darken my door again. Not long after this, the other nurse brought my precious baby in to me, and I got to feed her -- crying the whole time. I fell asleep while holding her, though -- several times.
I don't remember much else about that night -- I'm not sure if I slept all night or what.
The next morning, my baby's Ped came in and woke me up around 6 a.m. and I sat there in a complete daze and very stone faced while this young man told me that my daughter had nearly died the night before :-( I remember never blinking an eye while he talked. Anyone who knows me, knows my reaction to this news was NOT normal! He told me that they thought my baby had apnea (SIDS related disease) and they were going to run tests on her such as chest x-ray and gastrointestinal x-ray, change her from milk formula to the soy formula, and place her on an apnea monitor. I had planned to breast feed with supplemental bottle feedings, so I did ask if I could BF, and he said "by all means". He went on to explain that while feeding my baby during the night, she lost her breath and turned gray and the nurses managed to get her to breathe again and then called him out to check on her. They placed her on the apnea monitor then and from the time he left and came back that morning, it did not go off, so that was good news.
After he left, I just sat there and thought but I still didn't react :-( Then my OB came in and said he heard I had a rough afternoon/evening but didn't elaborate and I didn't question him. Then a lab tech came to draw blood, and I asked him why -- he just said that my doctor ordered it. When Mark came back in the room, he asked me if I remembered the day before, and I said it felt like I was in a tunnel or something and that I didn't remember much at all -- I did remember that mean nurse, and that's when he told me he took care of her and she would NOT be back. Then I nonchalantly informed him that they thought something was wrong with Holli and explained it to him.
They brought me my baby soon after -- all hooked up to the monitor, and even seeing that did not affect me at all. I got to try breastfeeding which was rather comical *lol* She was not satisfied, though, so I ended up having to give her a bottle, as well.
I had to get up and take a shower and sit up in the chair (normal routine) and I don't remember much about it. It was painful, though.
When Holli came for her next visit, L brought her in and apologized for upping the Stadol on me and for putting me through that ordeal. That's when it started making sense to me -- my head was becoming somewhat clearer since the IV had been removed earlier that morning. I realized I had an adverse reaction to the drug; but what I didn't understand was why nobody had figured it out before then. All the crying I had done was due to the smaller dose of Stadol which had been started right after the beginning of the surgery, thus when L upped the dosage, it made me completely out of my gourd :-(
It wasn't until the next feeding that I realized what happened to my baby; and I became really upset about it....now that's more like my reaction would have been when the Ped told me to begin with. I felt worried and scared! L told me that the monitor had not gone off at all, though, and that her chest-xray was fine, so that was good news. The gastric x-ray showed gastric reflux, though, which is a common occurrence in newborns and had the same symptoms as colic. They started her on Reglan immediately, which seemed to help. But, Dr. L wasn't satisfied and called in a Pediatric Pulmonologist to examine her and he found her just fine; but he wanted to do a pneumogram on her -- just in case.
It wasn't until the following day that I felt much better and looked more like myself. I was quite toxic from the Stadol and it took a while to get it out of my system :-(
Holli underwent the 12 hour pneumogram, and it came up negative, so that was great news. Her diagnosis remained as reflux, which was controlled by the Reglan.
Once I was able to get over the drug reaction, I did pretty good, really. The pain was tolerable. We did a lot of walking, and I was so hoping the gas wouldn't happen this time, but it did :-( Luckily, it wasn't as incapacitating as the other times.
We went home on the fourth day after surgery when Holli was just three days old :-) I had planned to quit working and stay home with my kids, so I was really looking forward to it :-)
She did real well the first few nights and slept good, but I suffered with the gas pains :-( I continued to nurse her but always had to end up with a bottle feeding. I didn't know much about BFing but I knew that something was not right -- what happened was that my milk never did come in and Holli was getting maybe a half ounce at each feeding :-( I just gave up after two weeks and felt really let down about that, but....at least I tried!
And little did I know that nursing her would nearly kill her :-( My stitches became infected after four days, so I needed antibiotics. I was still BFing (or trying to), and Holli also got the antibiotics :-( Little did I know that my sweet baby had developed thrush from it :-( After two weeks, my sweet baby starting screaming all night long and had all the symptoms of colic but never passed any gas. It wasn't till two weeks or so later that I found the thrush in her mouth and called the Ped for medicine. Once she was "cured", she slept all night long and wasn't in pain any longer. It was explained to me that thrush starts in the stomach and works it's way up and is a type of yeast infection, thus causes severe stomach pain :-( When I realized I was the one who gave this to my precious baby (as it is normally brought about through a heavy dosage of antibiotics -- and since Holli had been on none, that left my milk), I felt so horrible and so guilty :-( I would never knowingly hurt my baby, and she was way too little to understand I didn't want to hurt her. I think I still feel guilty over that over 2 1/2 years later.
Once that fiasco was over with, I hardly knew I had a baby in my house -- she would go to sleep around 5:00 p.m. and sleep all night long till 6:00 or 7:00 the next morning, plus take one to two naps during the day. She did this for several months and then started with colic :-( But we both enjoyed it....spent a lot of sleepless nights playing :-)
I had planned to spoil her rotten and that I did :-) She can't be without her mommy! I feel like I missed so much with my twins cause there were two babies to care for and with my other two cause I was working, so I really enjoyed every moment I spent with Holli and still today :-) She's a special baby -- being my last :-)
Isn't this background adorable! Thanks, Jan :-)
