"Naked, my thoughts are creeping... too late, the show has begun."
(7)

  
     Have you pulverized in my memory
I wish it were possible
Wish thoughts had mass so I could burn up 
  the memories of every single second I spent with you                    
                                                            
I'd dance over the ashes
                                                                 
Attempts to recover resemble trying to build
  a house of cards
Thoughts have no mass but knock the house down
  with an incredible efficiency                              
                                                                
Gonna practice dancing over cards...                          Looking for shelter,
                                                      I came across a shed made of cloud
          September, 1997                        (How funny! There was number 9 on its door!)
                                          Decided not to despise it, though it seemed frail at
                                            first, I entered.
                                   Now I find myself surrounded by cold unconcrete smoky walls
                                      Still, it is somehow charming and fascinating
                                           that I won't wish to leave               5/20/98  
  When the weather is hot                
When my peace is torn apart                            
When nobody cares about me and
  I can care about no one
When some others' stupidity finds
  a way to hurt me
When I realise this isn't my place                           "I'm feeling small 
When the features I worked hard to acquire                    I'm climbing the walls 
  turn out responsible for the ruin of                        I don't let it show" (1)  
  what I wanted the most
When the few who could help me run away
When the lack of someone to hold me
  while I cry and fully understand me strikes
I wish my tears were of blood 
  so I would bleed to death.                                     

               4/27/98                           "Was everything we had just a joke?                
                                              I've run out of patience, tears and hope
                                                    Love does not conquer it all
                                                  And I'm screaming because of you

                                                       Too late for apologies

Distance creates doubts                     In the shadow of the light from a black sun
Lots of things I've done wrong                Frigid statue standing icy blue and numb
arise                                  Where are the frost giants I've begged for protection?
And I wonder if together with                               I'm freezing
the distance
they'll spoil things                  Cold winter winds that chill my heart with sleet and snow
between us                                 Not from the North come to this glacial abode
I fear                                         But from your dimension cryogenic limbo
that I drown in illusion                                    I'm freezing
I feel                                                       I'm frozen
you're my source of real life                                It's too late." (3) 
since you are not me
I fear I lose my life                                                               8/1/98
         
      7/20/98


"If this time were the last time,
could i hold you all life long?
Since this time is the last time,
can I hold you all night long?" (3) 

11/14/98




                                                            
                




Note: the Wall of Digressions in no way means to be poetic.