*The theme music begins.*
16 characters... 39 days... one message board...
SURVIVAL 2: THE FINAL FANTASY III OUTBACK
REBODA CLAN
Sabin
Setzer (voted out)
Terra (voted out)
Cyan (voted out)
Locke
Gogo (voted out)
Ultros
Relm
TAGORAN CLAN
Celes
Umaro (voted out)
Mog
Kefka (voted out)
Shadow
Strago (voted out)
Edgar (voted out)
Gau
These players will compete for immunity and popularity, until we ultimately see who is best at...
SURVIVAL
*Theme music cuts out, fade to commercial.*
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Announcer Guy Over S2:FF3OB Logo: Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback is brought to you by...
The Number 4. Why should Sesame Street be the only one with numerical sponsorship?
And, by...
"Die Another Day". Explosions, libido, and bad puns, all melted into one man - Bond. James Bond.
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NIGHT 24
CLAN COUNCIL
*The rain continues to pour on the remaining eight survivors, soon to be seven, while Strago happily sits underneath his umbrella.*
Mog: Wow, what a long rain, kupo!
Johnny Host: It's time to count the votes, kupo. I mean, time to count the votes.
*Johnny leaves.*
Mog: Hee hee, moogle fever, kupo!
*Johnny returns with the votes.*
Johnny Host: First vote, Mog. Next vote, Ultros. Relm. Relm. Sabin. Celes. Relm. Relm. Relm. Celes. Sabin. Sabin. Relm. Celes. And the last vote..... Relm.
*Relm gasps.*
Johnny Host: Relm, I'm afraid that your time has finally come.
Relm: But... but... that can't be! I demand a recount, you fuddy duddy!
Johnny Host: What?! Get over here, you little brat!
*Johnny grabs Relm's already wet torch and ceremoniusly snuffs it.*
Johnny Host: With a whopping seven votes... the board has spoken.
*Relm dejectedly takes the walk of shame, making her the ninth person voted out of Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback.*
Johnny Host: Well guys, get out of the rain and get some sleep. Another day awaits you.
*The last seven survivors leave the Clan Council area, including a slightly happier Sabin.*
RELM'S FINAL WORDS
Relm: I think my biggest regret about my experience here is that I got voted off before that big jerk Sabin. But, I guess I don't have any real hard feelings. I think I did the best that I could have, considering that most of the board seemed to be out to get me from the start. A lot of it was luck. I had a really great time here, and I look forward to coming back on the jury to maybe get back at some of the folks that have wronged me... ha ha ha... Goodbye everyone!
DAY 25
REBORAN
Locke (to camera): So, Relm finally got voted off. I'm not sure how I feel about that yet - I suppose it will remove a lot of the tension from our camp. But I'll miss her.
Sabin (to camera): Ha ha ha, the moment I'd been waiting for since day one finally came last night. Now there's nothing to get in the way of my victory... except, perhaps, that octopus. But after putting up with Relm for twenty-four days, dealing with him will be a cinch.
Mog (to camera): I'm glad it was the little girl who got voted off, kupo. She wasn't mature enough to survive out here.
Ultros (to camera): UWEE HEE HEE HEE! Part of me can't believe I've made it this far, and part of me just can't wait to get to the end! But, I do feel bad about Relm. Better her than me, though!
Shadow (to camera): Weakness is indeed a liability here... Relm getting voted off showed me that. Ironic that she should beat me before she lost. Oh, well. I know I can do better than that.
Celes (to camera): I'll tell you one thing, some of those people on the board need to watch what they're saying about me. It's not *that* hard to make the transition from fiction to reality... and when I do, I'll give that RPGenius50 a piece of my mind!!
Gau (to camera): Me youngest one here now. Relm gone. Me feel bad. Me keep win immunity!
Locke: Down to the wire now, huh?
Gau: Awao.
Locke: What does that mean?
Gau: It mean, "Yes, I concur, how astute of you."
*Locke gives Gau a funny look and then closes his eyes.*
Celes: Not much time left at all. And now that it's mostly adults here... well, at least it can be a little bit calmer.
Sabin: Yeah. This is the kind of thing I've always been wanted. I'll sure be able to sleep easier at night.
Celes: Me too. I agree that she was getting out of hand, and you've had to put up with it a lot longer than me.
Shadow: I think you are being too hard on her.
Celes: Excuse me?
Shadow: How do you expect a person to behave if you treat them like a child? Not even like a child, but as rudely as you two have this whole time.
Ultros: I agree with Shadow!
Celes: A-hem. If you felt so strongly about this, why didn't you say anything when it mattered?
Sabin: Yeah!
Shadow: Never mind.
Celes: No no! You don't bring up something like this to make me look bad, and then back out of it like that!
Locke: C'mon guys, settle down...
Celes: Stay out of this!
Ultros: Don't tell him what to do!
Gau: UGH.
*Gau leaps off his rock to get away from the arguing adults. Locke follows him. The camera zooms out to reveal Mog in a nearby tree, watching the chaos.*
Mog (to camera): It's pretty ridiculous, kupo. People are always going to have something to argue about. We got rid of Relm, but nobody could get rid of conflict.
Gau (to camera): Everyone so immature...
Shadow (to camera): I didn't mean to start anything. I probably shouldn't have said anything at all. Like usual. Killing one's emotions is rarely complete.
Celes (to camera): How dare Shadow question me? Why do I always have people second-guessing me, no matter what I say?
Sabin (to camera): I'm glad Celes felt the same way I do about Relm. It'd be frustrated to be alone in that.
Ultros (to camera): I guess Shadow has a personality under there after all. I never would've thought he'd be the one to agree with me!
DAY 26
REBORAN
Locke (to camera): Being out here for so long really shows you how well you know people. My initial estimation of Sabin, for example, was pretty correct. Same for Ultros. But I didn't get to meet Celes, Shadow, Mog, and Gau until just recently, and by that time they had become hungry and tired... and it's only gotten worse. Shadow seems to be pretty good at controlling it, though. Maybe it's because he rarely says anything.
Shadow (to camera): Being in the Outback is making me soft, I believe. I miss my dog...
Mog (to camera): Ah, if only I could taste kupo nuts again. I am rather hungry, and they are my favorite.
Sabin (to camera): I think the hardest thing for me so far, other than getting along with certain individuals, has been that I can feel myself physically weakening. I haven't been able to carry on with my training at all, not without a healthy diet. The good news is, I know I can tolerate the hostile environment. Not so much the people, though.
Gau (to camera): It like home out here. Me like to win whole thing.
Celes (to camera): I miss the social connections I had back home. It might be hard to tell from my behavior out here - I know it's been pretty bad at times - but I do like being with people. Maybe I just like competing with them a little bit more than cooperating.
Ultros (to camera): I don't miss home at all! Well, okay, it was nice being able to eat, but I'm working at the Colosseum for the next five hundred years unless I can win this thing and pay off the big boss! So, the longer I'm out here, the closer I am to freedom! Oh yes, and being filthy stinking rich! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!!!
Locke (to camera): At some point, though, the boredom takes over the hostility. It'd be amusing if I wasn't so close to it.
Celes: So... what do you want to talk about now?
Sabin: I dunno. We could diss Warteen for a while.
Ultros: Nah, we've been doing that all day.
Gau: We play "Story Stick"?
Shadow: That's dumb.
Locke: Ah, I know.
Mog: What?
Locke: We could just keep sitting here, waiting until something happens.
Celes: Sounds good to me.
Celes (to camera): Hate to be so lazy, but in a way it's good because I can conserve my strength for tomorrow's challenge. It would feel so good to win again.
DAY 27
REBORAN
Mog: Here's the notice of today's challenge, kupo:
"Time in the wild takes its toll,
But you're still here when we call roll.
Launch the rocks and smash your foe,
Or you may be the next to go."
Sabin: Is it just me, or are these getting longer?
Locke: You're right. Whether that's a good thing is questionable.
Sabin: Hey! Those rhymes are awesome.
Celes: Well, let's go.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
*The seven remaining survivors head down to the woods, where the tenth challenge is to be held. As usual, Johnny Host is waiting for them.*
Johnny Host: Greetings, guys. Well, I have good news about today's challenge. This will give you a chance to get back at some of the people who you might not be getting along with at the moment.
*A few of the survivors grin at this. Johnny clearly has their attention.*
Johnny Host: You'll each get a slingshot and will all fire one round at a time, together. You'll be aiming at plates suspended by ropes, and these plates have the names of your fellow survivors on them. Each contestant has three plates. When all three are gone, they're out of the game. Remember that a plate has to be completely shattered - just a chip isn't good enough. Everyone got it?
*They all nod.*
Johnny Host: Survivors ready? GO!
*In the first round, the survivors line up their shots. Celes seems to be the most popular target - Locke obliterates one of her plates with his first shot, and Ultros chips another one (although it's strange to picture an octopus holding a slingshot). Sabin smashes one of Ultros's plates; Shadow chips one of Mog's; Mog, Gau, and Celes all miss their respective targets.*
Celes: Hey...
*Celes angrily smashes one of Locke's plates. Locke, in response, destroys another of hers; she's down to one. Sabin changes targets and shoots down a plate with "Gau" printed across it. Mog destroys another Ultros plate. Ultros, Shadow, and Gau miss.*
Celes: Ha ha!
*The third round sees Celes destroying another of Locke's plates, bringing him down to one. Locke chips Celes's last plate but it stays up. Gau, seeing an opportunity, destroys Locke's last plate. Sabin, seemingly on a quest to get everyone mad at him, obliterates the first of Mog's plates. Shadow takes out Sabin's first plate. Mog and Ultros miss.*
Johnny Host: Locke, you're out!
Locke: Shoot!
*In the next round, Sabin fires back at Shadow and brings down one of his plates. Celes follows suit and takes out Shadow's second plate. Irked, Shadow destroys Celes's final plate, taking her out of the challenge. Ultros misses. Mog hits Ultros's third and final plate, but does not quite shatter it. Gau also aims at it and gets what little Mog missed.*
Johnny Host: Ultros and Celes are out, too.
Ultros: Drat!
Celes: Grr...
Johnny Host: That leaves two plates for Gau, one for Shadow, two for Sabin, and two for Mog. Shoot 'em up!
*Mog destroys the second of Gau's plates. Gau, in turn, takes out the second of Mog's. Shadow hits Sabin's second as well. Sabin chips Shadow's last one, but doesn't connect directly enough to destroy it.*
Johnny Host: It's almost over!
*In the next round, everyone misses except Shadow, who finishes off Sabin by taking out his final plate.*
Johnny Host: Sorry, Sabin!
Sabin: Hmph!
*In what turns out to be the final round of firing, Mog destroys Shadow's final plate, Shadow misses Gau's completely, and Gau successfully finishes off Mog.*
Johnny Host: Mog and Shadow are out. Gau, you win again!
*Johnny Host slips the Can't Get Kicked Off Talisman around Gau's neck once again.*
Johnny Host: Looks like this thing is finding a permanent home here, Gau!
Gau: UWAAYEAH!!!
Johnny Host: I'll see you all at Clan Council tonight.
Gau (to camera): This too easy! Me win again and again, and win whole thing!
Celes (to camera): That challenge didn't really seem fair. I mean, don't I have to pay enough for what people think of me with all these votes at the council? Why should I have to give up immunity for it as well?
Locke (to camera): Dang, I was out first. That was weird. Well, I'm happy for Gau. He's earning it, all right.
Ultros (to camera): Another example of species bias, I tell you!!
Sabin (to camera): Ooh, came close to winning that one. Pity, to be destroyed at the end like that. I'd almost rather be in Celes's shoes.
Mog (to camera): I basically came in second place... I'm working my way up, kupo! Just watch, I'll win the next one! If I'm still here, kupo...
Shadow (to camera): What a delightful challenge. It was so cathartic. I was able to take immunity away from Celes. There's a good chance she'll be voted off now. I think we've put up with her for long enough.
NIGHT 27
CLAN COUNCIL
*The seven remaining survivors walk into the Clan Council area, with Gau happily sporting the Can't Get Kicked Off Talisman for the third time. Johnny Host is punctual as always.*
Johnny Host: Welcome to the tenth Clan Council, where another person will be voted off.
Ultros: You hear that, he said "person"! I'm safe!
Johnny Host: (with an annoyed look in Ultros's direction) Or octopus.
Mog: He-
Johnny Host: Or moogle.
Mog: Darn.
Johnny Host: Let's bring in our jury, which is growing all the time.
*Strago and Relm walk in, looking well-fed and happy. Relm cozies up to her grandfather, happy to be with him again and delighted with the opportunity to later get her revenge on those who have wronged her.*
Johnny Host: Remember, the jury is here to gather information for their final vote. Now, anybody have any thoughts on today's challenge?
Gau: Me like it very much!
Johnny Host: Mm hmm. Anybody who didn't win?
Locke: I think it was a good idea. It'd be nice if all the challenges were like that. It gives us a little bit more control over the game.
Shadow: I agree.
Celes: I sure don't.
Johnny Host: Why not, Celes?
Celes: It just seemed unfair, that's all.
Johnny Host: Sabin, you've been quiet so far. Do you have anything to add?
Sabin: Not really about the challenge. It's just that I thought when Relm was voted off, it would be a lot calmer around here. But it seems like everything has only gotten worse, even if I might be the only one to notice it.
Mog: It's not just you, kupo. I'm seeing it too.
Locke: And me.
Ultros: Yep!
Johnny Host: All right, well, it seems like perhaps you've learned a lesson. Think you can summarize, Sabin?
Sabin: Well... do you mean that just one person can't be the source of all the bad feelings around here, because we're not really bad people?
Locke: ...and it's just that we're in a bad situation. Voting people off probably won't fix it.
Johnny Host: I think that'll do nicely. Now let's vote somebody off!
Voice of Johnny Host: Who will become the tenth person kicked out of the Outback? Find out next time, on Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback!!!
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