NIGHT 34
CLAN COUNCIL
*The Final Four sit nervously as the voting period ends, knowing that, with the exception of Locke, none of them are guaranteed passage into the Final Three.*
Johnny Host: All right, guys... it's time to go count the votes. Good luck. *Johnny leaves the survivors to go get the votes, then returns.*
Johnny Host: First vote... Ultros. Next vote... Shadow. Mog. Mog. Mog. Ultros. Shadow. Okay, that's two votes for Shadow, and three each for Mog and Ultros. Next vote... Mog. Ultros. Mog. Mog. Ultros. That's six for Mog and five for Ultros. And... the last vote...
Mog: (hopefully) Ultros?
Johnny Host: *flips over the last vote so the survivors can see* Mog.
Mog: Darn, kupo!
Johnny Host: I'm sorry Mog, it's time for you to go.
*The white teddy bear-like creature brings Johnny his torch, clearly unhappy with this outcome.*
Johnny Host: The board has spoken.
*Johnny snuffs Mog's torch. Mog takes the walk of shame.*
Johnny Host: Locke, Shadow, Ultros... you are the last three contestants in this game. Tomorrow, one more of you will be eliminated, and after that will be the final Clan Council to determine the winner of Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback. You're almost through this, guys. Get back to camp and get some rest.
*The last three survivors leave the Clan Council area.*

MOG'S FINAL WORDS
Mog: Darn it, kupo! It just doesn't seem fair for me to come this far, to expect to be winning the whole thing, just to fail now! And to make matters worse, the worst word I can use is @%*, kupo! Well, I suppose it's not all bad. I got past lots of annoying people, and I did my moogle brethren proud by making it to the final four, kupo. I'm just mad that I couldn't go ahead and win it all, kupo... well, you win some, you lose some. I'm going back to my cave to kick a few back with Umaro as soon as I'm done with this final vote, kupo...

DAY 35
REBORAN
Shadow (to camera): I never would have believed I'd be the last member standing of Tagoran, especially after all the votes that have been cast against me at past councils. But, here I am. Surprisingly, I was only voted for twice last night. I wish these people wouldn't do that... they're starting to make me think I actually have a shot at winning...
Locke (to camera): Wow, Mog was the one to go. What a shocker! With that fan base that he had, I would have expected him to go all the way... well, hopefully I'm going to be one of the people they're voting on to win this game, and I really think I have a good chance. Either way, there's only a little bit of time left... I wonder what will happen next?
Ultros (to camera): I'm too tired even to laugh! Okay, maybe I'm not! UWEE HEE HEE! Whew, that took a lot out of me... well, I don't know how I got this far, not even being a member of the FF3 gang, but here I sit! Pretty unbelievable if you ask me!!! Well, getting this far has been fun, but I really want that money so I can buy my freedom from that mean old geezer at the Colosseum... so I hope I win! Go Team Ultros!!
Locke: How about this, huh?
Ultros: Yeah, it doesn't get any better! Locke, I've had a great time in this game with you as a clanmate! And Shadow...
Shadow: ...?
Ultros: Nah, you're still a big dork.
Shadow: Hmph.
Locke: Well, I think you're all right, Shadow, even if you maybe never really opened up to all of us. You have to be okay to make it this far, right?
Locke (to camera): Of the three of us left, obviously I'd want myself to win the most... but, if I had to give up the money to one of the others, I don't know who it would be. Friendly as I try to be to both of them, Ultros has annoyed a lot of people, and Shadow is just antisocial, always has been that way as far as I know. So, it would be a tough call. The only way to get around having to make it is finding my way into the Final Two!
Shadow (to camera): Just one more day. One more day left of this game.
Ultros (to camera): Obviously the reason I made it this far wasn't that I was in the good clan! I mean, we lost half our members before the merge, right? But, on the other hand, we have more members left alive in the game now! So, maybe we were the good clan after all!
Locke (to camera): There aren't a lot of opportunities for conversation with these two, but if I've made it this far, I can surely last one more day...
Shadow (to camera): Today has mostly been a lot of sitting around, just waiting for the game to end. I haven't eaten since yesterday. But, I suppose it'll be worth it if I win.
Locke: Hey guys, I just wanted to say that no matter what happens, it's been a real rewarding experience playing this game with you.
Shadow (to camera): "Real rewarding," he says. Locke needs to stop kissing up to everyone. I have no doubt that he's intentionally trying to get everyone to like him so he can win the game. And, for that reason, I'd vote for Ultros instead of him as a member of the jury.
Ultros (to camera): I must win this thing! And, when I do, I'll be free! Freedom is good! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!!!
*As the three last survivors watch the sun go down in the beach, each contemplating the fact that there can be only one winner tomorrow, Johnny Host rides up to the beach in a motorboat, disembarks, and walks up to them.*
Johnny Host: Hey, you three. It's time for the final immunity and vote-off. Let's go.
*Surprised at the lack of tree-mail, the three of them get in the boat. Johnny has his driver take them to the beach just a short ways away from the Clan Council area. They get out and follow him to the makeshift ceremonial area and take their seats around the fire, knowing that one of them will be meeting their fate here tonight.*
Johnny Host: Okay guys... let's bring in our jury, which is seeking just one more member.
*Strago, Relm, Celes, Gau, Sabin, and a still-looking-miffed Mog walk in and take their seats across from the jury.*
Johnny Host: All right, before we have our vote, I'm sure you guys have noticed we didn't have an immunity challenge.
*The three nod.*
Johnny Host: Well, the board has already decided which one of you shall have immunity in the final "Underdog" immunity challenge. Locke, please give me the Can't Get Kicked Off Talisman.
*Locke hands the fairly beat-up tribal jewelry to Johnny.*
Johnny Host: The results of the Underdog votes are as follows: Shadow - 7, Ultros - 5, Locke - 0.
Ultros: Crap!
Shadow: Finally I win something...
*Shadow reaches to take the talisman. Johnny pulls it back.*
Johnny Host: Therefore, what nobody seemed to pick up on is that the "Underdog" of this vote - and thus our final immunity winner - is Locke.
*Locke raises an eyebrow.*
Johnny Host: You're the Underdog, Locke. Congratulations.
*Johnny slips the Can't Get Kicked Off Talisman back around Locke's neck.*
Locke: Sweet!
Ultros: Crap!
Johnny Host: Sorry Shadow, but the board's just not as bright as they give themselves credit for. Had they wanted you to be the Underdog, they'd have voted for someone else to win immunity.
Shadow: ...
Ultros: Crap, crap, crap!
Johnny Host: Well, I'm sure the board knows who they're voting for at this point, so let's not waste their time. The vote tonight is between you two, Ultros and Shadow, Shadow and Ultros. Ultronator and Shad-
Shadow: We get it.
Johnny Host: Ahem. Good luck, boys... it's time to vote

Voice of Johnny Host: WHO WILL MAKE THE FINAL TWO?! And... who won't? Tune in next time to find out on Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback!!!

Voice of Johnny Host over the opening credits: When we last left our three survivors - Locke, Ultros, and Shadow - they were anxiously awaiting the verdict of the board on who will be headed to the Final Two along with Locke, who has won immunity. After this vote, they will spend their final night and day in the Outback. Then, they will face the final vote, which will determine the winner of this 36-day ordeal. But before the winner can be chosen, they need to find out which of these three will not be moving past tonight.

NIGHT 35
CLAN COUNCIL
Johnny Host: Ah, I love doing voiceovers. Time to count the votes.
*Johnny leaves.*
Locke: Hey, good luck to both of you.
Shadow: ...
*Johnny quickly returns, voting jar in his hand.*
Johnny Host: First vote... Shadow. Ultros. Shadow. Ultros. Shadow. Ultros. Shadow. Ultros. Shadow. Ultros. Shadow. Ultros. That's six each.
Ultros: Wow, what are the odds of it happening one at a time like that? Johnny Host: Shh! Next vote: Shadow. Shadow. Ultros. That's seven for Ultros and eight for Shadow. Last vote.... Shadow.
Shadow: Hmph.
Johnny Host: Shadow, you need to bring me your torch.
*Shadow brings his torch to Johnny, who snuffs it out, making Shadow the fourteenth one voted out of Survival 2.*
Johnny Host: The board has spoken.
*Shadow becomes the last one to talk the walk of shame. The jury reacts to their first sight of the Final Two, some of them already having decided who they will vote for.*
Johnny Host: Locke, Ultros, congratulations on making it to the end of the game. You have one more day ahead of you; I suggest you use it to think about the arguments you'll make as to why you should win this game over the player sitting next to you. You're going to have to convince those who were voted off before you, as well as the board, if you hope to win. Go back to camp and get some rest.
*Locke and Ultros leave the Clan Council area.*

SHADOW'S FINAL WORDS
Shadow: Well, it's been an interesting experience, to say the least. I didn't expect I would get this far, but I did. Second runner-up is definitely a respectable position, and I was the last member of Tagoran left standing. There were those who didn't like me, but I don't really care. I played for myself, and now I'm ready to get back to Interceptor and some familiar ground.

DAY 36
REBORAN
Locke (to camera): Well, this is it. It's me against Ultros in a no-holds-barred, knock-down, drag-out, brawl to the finish! And, I think I've made enough friends in this thing to win the game. I made it this far, and I hope I don't trip at the finish line...
Ultros (to camera): Ah, I beat out that big dork! UWEE HEE HEE! And now, just one more obstacle stands between me and freedom, and his name is Locke! I'm going to thrash him! At least, I hope so! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!!!
Locke (to camera): This being the last day of the game, we didn't need any of the things we have anymore. So it was time to burn the stuff we didn't need anymore.
Ultros: Ah, nothing quite like an open flame!
Locke: I didn't know it was possible for an aquatic beast to be a pyro...
Ultros: Hey, don't call me a beast! Hand me the marshmallows!
Locke: We don't have any marshmallows... we're still in the Outback.
Ultros: Uh, yeah, I knew that. Hand me the hot dogs!
Locke: ...
Locke (to camera): It was really a cathartic experience, despite Squid Breath...
Ultros (to camera): Mmm... flaaame...
Locke: Hard to believe we've been out here for so long, isn't it?
Ultros: Don't you say that every week?
Locke: Um...
Ultros: Anyway, I just want to say now that whatever happens tonight, there's no hard feelings on my part.
Locke: You really mean that?
Ultros: No! If I don't win, I'm going to hunt you down and eat your children!
Locke: I don't have any children.
Ultros: Oh! Then I guess I'll just have to mess you up! UWEE HEE HEE!!!
Locke (to camera): You know, I'm starting to realize why Sabin was so mad all the time.
Ultros (to camera): How to win... what should I do to WIN? I guess I'll just do the same thing I've been doing all this time! I mean, it got me this far, right?
Locke (to camera): This one could really go either way. The board might favor Ultros Luckily, part of it depends on the seven people who got voted off before us, and I'm hoping to see myself getting the advantage there. I'm still going to need to make a pretty convincing case as to why that money should belong to me and not Ultros...
Ultros (to camera): I'm going to miss the Outback. Really, while I'm back in the comfortable lake I call home, eating all the fish I can possibly stomach, I'm going to look back and say, "Wow, I sure do miss starving with a bunch of people I can't stand!"
Locke (to camera): This was our last day here, and it seemed to go by faster than any, but at the same time it dragged on the most slowly. I guess that doesn't make a lot of sense... but that's what I feel like. Nothing makes sense out here anymore. I'm so ready for the game to end.
Ultros: Bye, camp!
Locke: We never have to see this place again!
Ultros: Hooray!

*As Ultros and Locke walk (or slither, as the case may be) to the Clan Council area for the last time to meet their final destiny in this game, the jury discloses to the audience their feelings about tonight's vote.*
Shadow (to camera): There's hardly even a choice involved for me. Although, to be honest, I find it difficult to stomach either one of these clowns. I suppose it's better than it could have been... but not by much.
Celes (to camera): I'm kind of conflicted about the vote tonight. I like Locke, I really do. But Ultros was always good for a laugh. It's definitely going to be tough.
Relm (to camera): In a way, I was kind of hoping Sabin would make it to the final two, just so I could be the one vote to make him lose! It would be great to shoot him down in the end! But, oh well. Now I've got a tough decision ahead of me. Locke and Ultros were both great to me and they really helped me keep it together in the early part of the game. It'll probably come down to what they say tonight.
Strago (to camera): Vote? Eh? I thought we were going to eat the octopus tonight! With a side of Islamic penguin!
Sabin (to camera): Wow, could this be any harder? To me, it's about picking the lesser of two evils. Locke's been playing people this whole time, and how can I reward that? But at the same time, I could never stand Ultros, not even from the get-go. This is gonna be so tough...
Gau (to camera): Me wanted see Tagoran win. Me sad. Not sure who me vote for. Not even sure if me can write. Ultros probably tastier than Locke, maybe me vote for him?
Mog (to camera): I don't really care which one of them wins... I'm still mad it wasn't me, kupo! Maybe I should blame Locke for that, he's the one who took immunity away from me, kupo!
*Ultros and Locke finally reach the Clan Council area.*

NIGHT 36
FINAL CLAN COUNCIL
*The seven-member jury is already waiting for the Final Two as they take their seats, as is the ever-punctual Johnny Host, looking unruffled in his khakis as usual.*
Johnny Host: Locke. Ultros. Welcome to the final Clan Council of Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback. Tonight marks the end of what is probably the longest Final Fantasy III survival game ever.
Ultros: Um...
Johnny Host: Yes, I know it's the only one. Don't interrupt my dramatic speech. Now, one of you will be leaving the Outback with 100,000 GP. Not exactly a paltry sum. However, the other, our winner, will be leaving with ten times that amount - one million GP - as well as a brand new Subaru. *The Subaru logo flashes across the screen briefly.*
Johnny Host: Now, we've got a lot ahead of us here tonight. Each member of our jury will step forward and pose a question to the both of you. You'll be given time to answer these questions; you'll be wanting to respond carefully, because how you answer may play a large role in the way people vote tonight. First off, I'll let the two of you make your opening statements, then we can get to the questioning. Ultros, you're first.
Ultros: All right, well, I'd like to say that I hope each of you will be giving me your vote tonight, because that would make me happy. Thank you.
Johnny Host: O...k. Locke?
Locke: Hey guys. Well, here I am, in the Final Two. Some of you are probably surprised that I made it this far. I know I am. I hope that each one of you will give your vote to the one you think deserves the money the most based on how they treated everyone throughout this game.
Johnny Host: All right, then. Let's go ahead and get started with our questioning. Shadow, you're first.
*Shadow wordlessly steps forward.*
Shadow: I don't have a question for you two. I already know who I'm voting for.
*He steps back.*
Johnny Host: Celes?
*Celes steps forward.*
Celes: Hey, you two.
*Locke and Ultros smile at her.*
Celes: My question is this: What do you consider to be "playing the game well"? If you could play a perfect game, what would it be?
Ultros: To me, a perfect game would probably be one with more food in it! I was starving throughout most of this game! But, really, I had a great time in getting this far, so this game couldn't have been too far from perfect!
Locke: A perfect game for me would be one in which nobody has to get hurt. I did my best to play it that way - I mean, obviously the rules kind of made it hard, like with any competition - but I tried not to be duplicitous or anything like that. This game's not perfect, but I think we all tried to play to our vision of what it should be like.
Celes: Thanks, good luck guys.
*Celes sits back down.*
Johnny Host: Strago.
*Strago shakily steps forward, scaring his fellow members of the jury a couple times by almost falling over.*
Strago: If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you want to be?
Locke: A panther.
Ultros: An octopus.
Strago: Woah, good answer.
*He steps back to his seat.*
Johnny Host: Relm.
*Relm steps forward.*
Relm: Well guys, you've come a long way, and I'm proud of both of you. I'll keep it brief: If it had to be two other people sitting there besides you two, who do you think it should be and why?
Locke: Definitely Terra, for one. And, I'd give the other spot to Celes. They both played great games in their own way, even though they were different. A lot of people deserved to be here more than I do, though.
Ultros: Um, I would say, you, because you were always really sweet to me, and Terra, because she was real nice too.
*Relm beams and sits back down. The male members of the jury react negatively to these all-female selections, and brief grumbling can be heard.*
Johnny Host: Mog.
*Mog steps forward.*
Mog: Okay, pick a number between one and a billion, kupo.
Ultros: Four hundred seventeen million, five hundred ninety-six thousand, four hundred and three!
Locke: Eleven.
Mog: Who was the best Batman?
Ultros: Adam West!
Locke: Val Kilmer.
Mog: What's your favorite color, kupo?
Locke: Blue.
Ultros: Trick question! Kupo's not a color!
Mog: Wha-
Johnny Host: Okay, that's enough.
Mog: Gah, kupo!
*Mog stomps back to his seat.*
Johnny Host: Gau, you're up.
*Gau steps forward.*
Gau: Ooh, ahh, what your favorit- no, moogle use that one. Darn.
*Gau steps back.*
Johnny Host: Hmm..... Sabin, you're the last one up.
*Sabin steps forward.*
Sabin: Well guys, this has been a long time coming. I have a lot more to say than anyone else here, maybe that's because I spent more time with you out here than any of them did. First off, Locke. At first I thought you were a great guy, playing this game with integrity and being nice to everybody. But at some point I realized that it's all a front, and that you were just being duplicitous, even while you swore to everyone's face you weren't.
Locke: Hey, I nev-
Sabin: Don't. I know what you are, even if nobody else here does. But, I guess I should congratulate you on a job well done, because you're there, ready to win the game, and I'm not. And, even if it was for a low purpose, you were kind to pretty much everyone. Ultros.
Ultros: Yerrr...
Sabin: You were a thorn in my side through pretty much the whole game. You were a pain in the arse, and you didn't compete at all in the early team challenges. Most of the time, you were a major factor in our losses. On the other hand, you've endeared yourself to a lot of people, and you were always honest with everybody, even if you were extremely annoying while doing it.
Ultros: Oh, thanks!
Sabin: Anyway, I don't mean to be all negative. I don't really have any hard feelings against either one of you, I'm just trying to figure out who I think should win. I've subjected you guys to enough. Good luck to both of you. *Sabin sits back down.*
Johnny Host: Well, that takes care of all the questioning... even though there wasn't that much... anyway. Let's get down to the jury vote. Jury. Each of you will go into the voting booth that's thus far been reserved for members of the message board, and vote for who you want to see win this game. The one with the most jury and message board votes combined is going home with a million GP. Let's get to the vote.

*One by one, the jury members go and vote.*
Sabin (to camera): Maybe I was a little too harsh on them out there. I mean, they probably didn't deserve it. Well, maybe Ultros did... I'm still not completely over the frustration he caused me. But anyway, the vote. *writes LOCKE and holds it up* I hate to be doing this, because I know he was sneaky... but in a way, I admire him for it. And he was a lot easier to get along with than Ultros. I don't really care which one of them wins, though... neither one of them deserve it.
Strago (to camera): *writes LOCKE and holds it up* I'm not really sure what the deal is with this, but I get to go home soon. All right!
Relm (to camera): Ahh... such a tough vote this is... *writes ULTROS and holds it up* Nice as Locke was, Ultros was always there for me, and like Buttface out there said, he was always honest. I hope he wins!
Mog (to camera): Man, this whole thing makes me mad, kupo... well, I guess I have to vote for somebody... *writes ULTROS and holds it up* Like I said, Locke, made me lose. And, annoying as Ultros was, he never made me lose, kupo.
Celes (to camera): *writes LOCKE and holds it up* It's not as hard a vote as I thought it was going to be.
Shadow (to camera): *writes ULTROS and holds it up* As I said... it's about who's the better competitor. If it was about who I liked more, I wouldn't be able to vote for anybody.
*Gau's vote is not shown.*

*Back at the Clan Council area...*
Johnny Host: Well, guys, this is it. This is what the whole game is about. The jury has cast their votes. Now it's time for the board to do the same. Good luck to the both of you.

Voice of Johnny Host: This is it, all right. Tune in next time to find out who wins the million GP prize, and who has to settle for second place on SURVIVAL 2: THE FINAL FANTASY III OUTBACK!!!

Voice of Johnny Host over credits: Welcome to the Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback finale. This is the night we've all been waiting for - it's time to find out who will take home the title of top survivor from Final Fantasy III!

NIGHT 36
FINAL CLAN COUNCIL
Johnny Host: Again, Locke, Ultros, good luck to the both of you. I'll get the votes.
*Johnny Host leaves, and returns with the votes for the last time. He smiles at the survivors as he stands behind the voting jar - perhaps because they've come a long way, but maybe the host has something up his sleeve...*
Johnny Host: Well guys, you've waited thirty-six days to see these votes... but I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a little bit longer.
Ultros: Wuh?
Johnny Host: I'm taking these votes, and getting on a helicopter. The voting jar will be sealed, and no one will see what's in here for three months, at which time you will all return, as well as the seven who were voted off before you, for a live reunion show, at which time the votes will be revealed. I'll see you all there.
*Johnny quickly exits the scene toward a helicopter which has appeared, gets on it, and departs, voting jar in hand. The survivors are left baffled as the scene fades to black.*
Locke: Um... what do we do now?

*Three months later, the stage is set (appropriately enough, at the Colosseum, which has become CBS's temporary HQ) for the finale and reunion show. The Clan Council scene has been recreated on a set, a live band plays the theme music, and Locke and Ultros, now looking a lot fatter and cleaner than they were in the Outback, await the outcome of the game across from the seven jury members. Johnny Host is shown getting off the helicopter (which we are apparently supposed to believe has been flying for three months solid) and entering the scene, still clutching the voting jar. The audience applauds happily as Johnny walks up to his place and sets down the jar, opening the lid.*
Johnny Host: Well, guys, I know it's been an unbearably long time, so let's go ahead and get to the votes. Remember, this is for a million gold pieces and the Subaru.
*He slowly begins opening the votes.*
Johnny Host: First vote... Locke. Locke. Ultros. Locke. Ultros. Locke. Locke. Ultros. Ultros. Ultros. That's five for each of you.
*The audience is on the edge of their seats.*
Johnny Host: Locke. Locke. Ultros. Ultros. Ultros. Locke. Locke. Ultros. Ultros. Locke.
*The audience collectively falls off their seats.*
Johnny Host: Locke. Ultros. Ultros. Locke. Two votes to go, with twelve apiece.
*The audience holds their breath.*
Johnny Host: Ultros. And the last vote, is......
*Johnny opens the vote and looks at it, then turns it around so the audience can see. It says "ULTROS".*
Ultros: NO WAY!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!
*An amazingly loud round of applause thunders across the audience, with the jury joining in, exalting the octopus. When the applause finally dies down, Johnny Host address the camera.*
Johnny Host: Well, there you have it. Ultros stands alone as the sole survivor to claim his million-GP prize. But what was it like for the contestants on the way here, and what feelings are they taking away from this experience? Join us next, as we interview our sixteen contestants about the good times and the bad.

*The scene fades to black, and cuts to commerical. Four minutes later, we return...*

Johnny Host: Welcome back to the Survival 2 reunion show. As you can see, we've brought back our jury members and final two already, but perhaps some of you have forgotten the first seven to go a little too quickly. Let's bring them out now.
*The audience applauds as the first seven survivors come in and take their seats.*
Johnny Host: Now the gang's all here.
*The camera pans to each contestant, looking clean and happy, as they are introduced for the show.*
Johnny Host: Our million dollar winner, Ultros... Runner-up treasure hunter, Locke... The members of our jury: Man in black, Shadow... Everyone's favorite moogle, Mog... The tough guy, Sabin... Wild child, Gau... Raging feminist and babe extraordinaire, Celes... The creative one, Relm... And the Islamic penguin lover, Strago. And of course, those who went before the jury: The pig catcher, Edgar... The girl with the huge following, Terra... The sasquatch, Umaro... The odd talker, Cyan... The unlucky gambler, Setzer... The crazy world domination guy, Kefka... And finally, the mimic, Gogo.
*The audience applauds politely while trying to remember who these people are.*
Johnny Host: Well, we don't have long, so let's get right to it. Ultros, the question that begs to be asked is, what are you going to do with all that money?
Ultros: Ah, I still can't believe I won! As I said, I'm going to be using it to pay off my debt to old man Smith who runs this joint. It's going to be great to be free again, to wreck havoc and... swim!
Johnny Host: Did you ever suspect that you could have won this thing?
Ultros: Not at all. From the very start, I was pretty insecure about the whole game. But, it all turned out great! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!
Johnny Host: Locke, were you disappointed with the outcome?
Locke: Well, obviously I was hoping that I could have won, but you know, 100,000 GP is an awful lot, and I think it's more about the experience than the money. Looking back, I guess I came across as kind of fake when I was nice, but I honestly wasn't trying to be.
Johnny Host: Sabin, didn't that kind of start with you?
Sabin: Yeah, I guess it did. Sorry about that, Locke! At least I voted for you, right?
Locke: Heh heh, it's cool. It's all good.
Johnny Host: Celes, I noticed there might have been a little chemistry going back and forth between you and Locke. Anything to that?
Celes: Well, when you're in the Outback, you're looking for the kind of person who you can trust, who will keep you interested, somebody to pass the time with. And I think Locke did that for me, even if I was only with him out there for a while. But I haven't talked to him much since the show ended.
Locke: I thought Celes was great. Like I said, if I wanted somebody besides me to win, it'd be her or Terra.
Johnny Host: Some would accuse you of playing the both of them, flirting so much...
Locke: Well, you know, they were never together out there. I mean, just as my affection for Terra is at its peak when she leaves, suddenly I'm with this amazing new person. And, when you're out there, your head's never quite clear.
Johnny Host: Terra, what did you get out of your experience in the Outback?
Terra: It was certainly a lot shorter than I hoped it would be, but I honestly don't know how much more I could have taken. Our team kept losing, and it was really starting to get to me at the end there, and I guess the board just didn't like that much.
Johnny Host: Let's go over some of those losses. The four defeats that Reboda suffered before the merge ended your game, Terra, but also those of three others: Gogo, Setzer, and Cyan. Gogo, how did it feel to be the first one voted out?
Gogo: It was pretty bad... you know, it's like, the board is judging my value as a person, and I'm not as good as these seven other people. It definitely hurt.
Johnny Host: Now, I thought you said you were going to be a mime?
Gogo: Yeah, but I changed my mime.
*The audience giggles.*
Johnny Host: Setzer, you were the second one from Reboda to go. Do you think you'd change your game at all if you were given another chance?
Setzer: Oh, definitely. For one thing, I'd be more prepared for the physical trials. People don't seem to realize how tough it is out there. Also, I doubt I'd scheme so much. Seemed like I was the only one doing that, and it definitely backfired. I mean, Sabin ended up going a long way, when I had expected him to get voted off really quickly.
Johnny Host: And finally, Cyan...
Cyan: Hmph. Those heathens at the board voted me off early because they disliked my speech patterns. Canst though comprehend how embarassing that was?
*The audience giggles at Cyan's speech.*
Cyan: Th... thou art all laughing at me!
*The audience laughs harder.*
Cyan: It is not funny! How wouldst thou feel if I were to laugheth at you?!
*The audience falls off their seats laughing.*
Cyan: ...
Johnny Host: All right, then. Mog, some suspected you of a moogle conspiracy to turn the other players against each other.
Mog: What?
Strago: It's true! It's all true! They're working with the Islamic penguins!!!
*The audience guffaws at Strago's mad ramblings. Clearly he's become a favorite.*
Mog: Um, this is completely unfounded. I don't even know where you'd get the idea, kupo.
Johnny Host: Okay, let's watch some clips...

Edgar: Hey, give me a break. I’m just getting some much-needed rest now that Kefka’s gone.
Shadow: Agreed.
Mog: Totally. He was such a jerk, kupo.

Edgar: Swell. So, anyway, this over here is the huge rock that absorbs the most sunlight.
Mog: It's Edgar's favorite spot for laying around...
Edgar: A-HEM. Resting!
Mog: ...being lazy during the middle of the day, kupo.

Mog (to camera): Locke's a good guy, kupo. Wouldn't have minded having him in my clan in the place of, say, CELES, kupo.

Mog (to camera): Grr... that little girl has no respect for personal space, kupo. Wouldn't mind seeing her get voted off next.

Mog (to camera): This morning when I woke up, I went to check the tree-mail, not really expecting anything. But surprisingly, our immunity challenge notice was there, kupo! I don't know why they're changing format on us all of a sudden... I suspect that Warteen is on crackupo.

Mog: What's incriminating about that? Warteen IS on crackupo!
Johnny Host: *sigh* Gau, we haven't heard from you yet. Perhaps you were best known in the game for being such an unexpectedly strong competitor in the immunity challenges. What was your key to winning?
Gau: Me win by being better than other people at stuff. But then, when me no win, me go bye-bye...
Johnny Host: Okay then. Relm, the conflict that you had with Sabin...
Sabin: I just wanna point out that most of that whole thing was just a big joke.
Johnny Host: Well, let's take a look.

Cyan: You did very admirably yesterday, young miss.
Relm: Thank you, Cyan! I did my best.
Terra: Well, that’s all anyone can ask of you.
Relm: I dunno, Sabin seems to want more than that.

Sabin (to camera): Tired... want to eat. Rrrrnnn.
Sabin: You think it would be a bad thing to kill Relm and make little girl stew?
Locke: You're kidding, right?
*Relm walks up.*
Relm: Hi Sabin! ...why are you looking at me like that?

*The scene comes back to the live show, as the audience laughs at Sabin's references to cannibalism.*
Relm: I guess everything was pretty messed up out there. Like Setzer said, it becomes pretty crazy when you're not eating anything and trying to get along with all these people... and being ten years old doesn't help anything!
Johnny Host: Umaro, what would you say was your biggest mistake while you were in the Outback?
Umaro: RAHHHH!!!
Johnny Host: I see. What would you do to fix that?
Umaro: RAHHH!!!
Johnny Host: Fascinating. Celes, let's get back to you for a second. You were probably the eye candy as far as the audience was concerned for this season.
*The audience hoots and howls.*
Celes: QUIET!
*The audience hoots and howls quietly.*
Johnny Host: Let's take a look here...
*The clips play of Celes getting water dumped on her at Edgar's behest, jumping off the cliff into the river below, and sitting around just lookin' purdy. As the last clip ends, the audience applauds again.*
Celes: Well, it wasn't intentional. I can't do much about the way I look. I'm kind of surprised anybody was looking good, what with the stuff we were going through out there. I know I was kind of harsh with some of my clanmates, and I do want to apologize for that.
Johnny Host: I'm sorry to say that we're quickly running out of time here... Edgar, we haven't gotten to you yet. What do you have to say about the Outback?
Edgar: Well Johnny, a lot of it's already been said, it was really tough, blah blah blah. I felt pretty bad about the way I went out...
Johnny Host: Ah yes, the bladder incident.
Edgar: Yeah. Definitely my most embarassing moment. And it's pretty bad to be voted off for that after I caught the pig and everything, with help from Shadow of course, who I was hoping to see win...
Shadow: ...
Edgar: But I still had a great time.
Johnny Host: Well, we have time for one more question, and I think it's only appropriate that it goes to Kefka. Kefka, what are your plans now that the game's over?
Kefka: Oh, you know, take over the world with some unlikely plan, kill my enemies mercilessly, shave my head and impersonate Dr. Evil... the whole nine! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!
*The audience laughs and applauds mightily.*
Johnny Host: Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for. Thank you once again to all the contestants, to the message board, and to all those who have read and taken part in this wonderful experience. Have a great night. Bye everyone!
*The audience applauds over the final credits.*

Voice of Johnny Host: Well, there you have it, the end of Survival 2. I know we're all sorry to see it go, but who knows, there may yet be a Survival 3! Until then, I'm Johnny Host... signing off.