*The theme music begins.*
16 characters... 39 days... one message board...
SURVIVAL 2: THE FINAL FANTASY III OUTBACK
REBODA CLAN
Sabin
Setzer
Terra
Cyan
Locke
Gogo (voted out)
Ultros
Relm
TAGORAN CLAN
Celes
Umaro
Mog
Kefka
Shadow
Strago
Edgar
Gau
These players will compete for immunity and popularity, until we ultimately see who is best at...
SURVIVAL
*Theme music cuts out, fade to commercial.*
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Announcer Guy Over S2:FF3OB Logo: Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback is brought to you by...
Deviled Eggs. The official snack of the outback.
And, by...
K-Mart. Keeping Middle America Really Tacky. K-Mart.
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NIGHT 6
CLAN COUNCIL
Johnny Host: All right, I'll go tally the votes.
*Johnny leaves and comes back with the voting jar.*
Johnny Host: I notice it's a little bit lighter this time. Oh, well.
Kefka: On with the tallying! It's about time these losers see what the message board really thinks of me! MWA HA HA HA HA!
Johnny Host: Kefka, you have to wait...
Kefka: Do I look like a waiter?!
Johnny Host: *sigh* Very well. First vote... Raistlin.
*Various snickers all around.*
Johnny Host: QUIET! You can't encourage the stupid hippie!
*Everyone shuts up.*
Johnny Host: First real vote... Edgar.
Edgar: Whuh!
Johnny Host: Next vote... Edgar.
Edgar: Wahh!
Johnny Host: Let's see... then we have a couple votes for Mog...
Mog: Kupo!
Johnny Host: A couple for Gau...
Gau: D'oh!
Johnny Host: And a couple for Umaro.
Umaro: Duh.
Johnny Host: Well put.
Kefka: MWA HA HA HA HA! You fools! Of course nobody would DARE to vote for me!
Johnny Host: Actually, those votes were the result of editing for a suspenseful moment. All the rest of the votes are for you.
Kefka: !
Johnny Host: The board has spoken.
*Johnny snuffs out Kefka's torch.*
Kefka: OH NO IT HASN'T! FIRE 3!
*Kefka's spell not only reignites his torch, it also vaporizes an unfortunate cameraman.*
Kefka: MWA HA HA HA HA!!!
*Johnny bashes Kefka over the head with the Can't Get Kicked Off Trophy, stunning him. He re-snuffs the torch ceremoniously. He then instructs a few crewmen to drag him away. Kefka semi-consciously is the second contestant to be voted out and take the walk of shame.*
Edgar: Ahhh, I don't have to hear that laugh anymore!
Johnny Host: Whew. Well guys, get back to your camp. You'll want to conserve your strength so you don't find yourself here again in three days.
*The castaways file out of the Clan Council area.*
KEFKA'S FINAL WORDS
Kefka: Oh, those FOOLS! They think they've seen the last of me?! They haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back, and I'll take my revenge against every last one of them! Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some villages to destroy and some lives to ruin! MWA HA HA HA HA!
DAY 7
REBODA
Sabin (to camera): Now that I’ve tasted victory, I can never go back. I want to win everything that there is to win, starting with the next immunity challenge.
Relm (to camera): I admit that it was a lucky break that we won the last challenge, but that doesn’t mean we didn’t deserve it. It was nice not having to worry about getting voted off.
Setzer (to camera): We probably would have won anyway. I mean, how were Umaro and Gau going to kill an Intangir?
Cyan (to camera): I find it a simple task to stayeth out here, in the outback. I shall have no problem surviving.
Ultros (to camera): I LOVE WINNING! UWEE HEE HEE! Such a wonderful feeling…
Terra (to camera): Being nice is, well, nice… but when it comes to beating the other clan, I have no problem with that. I worry that Sabin’s enjoying it a little too much, though… he can’t handle it when we lose.
Locke (to camera): Ahh, Terra worries too much. She needs to lighten up some. Sabin too, but in a completely different way. I’m sure everything will work out for the best.
Cyan: You did very admirably yesterday, young miss.
Relm: Thank you, Cyan! I did my best.
Terra: Well, that’s all anyone can ask of you.
Relm: I dunno, Sabin seems to want more than that.
Setzer: Heh heh… so precocious.
Relm: Pre… what?
Terra: Come on, Relm, let’s go get some water.
Terra (to camera): If I’m going to be the mother of this clan, I may as well do it right.
Terra: Relm, you have to be careful about what you say.
Relm: Why?
Terra: Because you don’t want the wrong person to hear it. If Sabin knew you were saying things like that about him, there could be trouble.
Relm: Oh.
Setzer: …so that’s what she’s been saying about you.
Sabin: I see.
TAGORAN
Celes (to camera): I’ll admit that losing when we should have won was demoralizing. But still, it’s a lot quieter around here without Kefka.
Edgar (to camera): Thank you, O message board… peace… peace at last. Last night was the first time in a week I got some good sleep.
Shadow (to camera): Everyone seems to be a lot happier now.
Gau (to camera): *bounces up and down* AWAO! Bad man gone!
Edgar: ZZZZzzzZZZ…
Celes: Edgar!
Edgar: Mmph… zzz…
Celes: EDGAR!
Edgar: Oh yeah, just like tha… zzzZZZzzz… mmm…
*Celes grabs a bucket of seawater and pours it over Edgar’s face.*
Edgar: AHHH!!! I’m up, I’m up, what’s wrong?!
Celes: You can’t sleep all day! You need to go gather some food for the tribe, since Kefka ate so much of it before his untimely departure…
Edgar: Huh? Why didn’t you just go get it?
Celes: Because I’m tired of you not doing anything.
Edgar: Okay, okay, I’ll go. *leaves*
Edgar (to camera): Man, what a pushy girl. Still, she is beautiful…
Celes: All right, guys, he’s gone.
Strago: Woo hoo!
*Everyone else from the clan comes out from behind various trees.*
Mog: Kupo, let’s party!
Edgar (to camera): You know, I suspect something might not quite have been right about that particular situation…
DAY 8
REBODA
Sabin (to camera): So, yesterday, Setzer told me about some things that Relm was saying about me. And you know, ordinarily I’d probably confront her about it. But, maybe that’s what wrong with me. So I’ve decided to not be so aggressive.
Sabin: Hey guys, I just wanted to apologize for my behavior over this first week. I realize I’ve been kind of harsh and I’ll try not to act that way anymore.
Locke: Wow.
Terra: It’s okay, Sabin.
Relm: Yeah, don’t worry about it.
Setzer (to camera): Hmmm… I told Sabin about that so he’d make himself look like a jerk. Talk about your all-time backfires… oh, well.
Terra (to camera): So, I’ve bonded pretty well with most of the members of this clan. Sabin has a strong personality, but he’s got a good heart… I get the idea that he was worried about his standing in the group when he apologized to us. The question is, did he really mean it, or was it just a strategic ploy? I don’t know if he’s that tricky.
Ultros (to camera): Today, Cyan and I decided to go fishing. Being an octopus finally came in handy.
Cyan: I can tasteth the fish now.
*Cyan and Ultros wave farewell to their clan and head off into the water.*
Locke: Well, I’ll go get some drinking water.
Relm: I’ll come along with you.
*The two of them leave.*
Terra: I’ll work on buffing up the shelter. At least it’s something to do.
Sabin: Right, I’ll help you with that.
*They go off towards the shelter.*
Setzer: Okay, I’ll… sit here. Right.
Setzer (to camera): Eh, I hope Sabin’s not mad at me. He’s a pretty tough guy. Seems like I was kind of ignored today. Ah, well… I’ll just wait for somebody to tell me what to do.
TAGORAN
Edgar (to camera): Not to boast or anything, but I think that all the berries I gathered will keep the clan happy for a while. I figure that as long as I’m getting food for them, I’m indispensable. And, more importantly, it keeps them from harassing me.
Umaro: Duhhh.
Mog: Yeah Edgar, way to go on those berries, kupo!
Celes: I have to admit, I’m impressed. It almost makes up for you sleeping all the time.
Edgar: Hey, give me a break. I’m just getting some much-needed rest now that Kefka’s gone.
Shadow: Agreed.
Mog: Totally. He was such a jerk, kupo.
Edgar: But now that he’s gone, we’re rock solid, you know?
Celes: Absolutely. And since we’re stronger without him, I’m sure we’ll win tomorrow.
Gau: Yes. We gonna win!
Gau (to camera): Bad man gone, we strong. Not hard to win.
Umaro (to camera): Duhhhh.
Edgar (to camera): What am I going to do next? I’m going to catch a pig. If I do that… We’ll eat like kings, and everyone will love me. Not to mention our strength will be better than the other clan’s, giving us even more of an edge over them.
DAY 9
REBODA
Setzer: All right boys and girls, here’s the notification of the immunity challenge.
Ultros: What’s it say, what’s it say?
Setzer: “If you’d like to be moving on,
Take a leap of faith, or you’ll be gone.”
Cyan: Leap of faith?
Terra: Maybe it involves a cliff or something.
Locke: Well, let’s head down there.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
*Both clans arrive at this immunity challenge’s area, which is, as Terra had more or less guessed, at the top of a waterfall. Johnny Host is already waiting for them.*
Johnny Host: Welcome, Reboda and Tagoran. Fourteen of you remain, but one more of you will go tonight. But first, we need to find out who that will be.
Locke: So what’s our challenge, Johnny?
Johnny Host: That’s Mr. Host to you.
Locke: …
Johnny Host: The challenge is very straightforward, like most of them. One at a time in any order you choose, your tribe members will leap off this waterfall into the river below. Don’t worry, it’s deep enough. Then, you’ll swim 500 feet forward, to the beach that’s been marked off, where the Can’t Get Kicked Off Trophy is waiting for you. The first clan to get all of its members to the trophy wins immunity. Everyone got that? *blank stares* Good. Remember that the next person can’t jump off until the person before them has successfully reached the trophy. Survivors ready? GO!
*The challenge begins wonderfully as Ultros leaps into the water for Reboda and Umaro jumps in for Tagoran. However, this scene cannot be described, because the combined hilarity of an octopus and a sasquatch leaping off of a cliff would probably kill some of our weaker viewers. Umaro hits the water first because of the wind resistance experienced by Ultros’s tentacles, but Ultros quickly makes up for this with his octopusness… octoposity. He swims very rapidly to the beach and slithers up to the trophy, signaling for Cyan to leap in, which he does without hesitation. However, back up on the cliff, there seems to be some problem with Tagoran…*
Strago: Err…
Edgar: What is it, old man?
Strago: I…
Shadow: What?
Strago: …can’t swim!
Celes: Oh no!
*Umaro reaches the idol and Mog falls into the water, very humorously. Cyan is a few steps behind him and signals for Relm to hop in, which she does.*
Edgar: Why didn’t you tell us this before?
Strago: I know, I’m sorry, I thought it wouldn’t come up!
Edgar: Ergh…
*Relm moves much more slowly than Mog through the water. Mog reaches the trophy and Shadow takes a dive.*
Celes: Now Strago, swimming is very simple. You just paddle your arms like a rowboat, okay?
Strago: *gulp*
*Shadow reaches the trophy and Gau leaps in.*
Sabin: Come on, Relm!
Locke: Hurry up!
Relm: (between breaths) I’m doing the best I can here, guys… short legs!
*Relm finally reaches the trophy and Setzer jumps.*
Setzer: AAAAAHHHHH!!!
*Gau reaches the trophy.*
Celes: Edgar, you have to handle this.
Edgar: What? But I…
Celes: Sorry, no time to lose.
*Celes jumps in, leaving Edgar alone with Strago.*
Edgar: You’re next, Strago. I know you can do this!
Strago: I’ll try.
*Setzer reaches the trophy and Celes isn’t far behind him. Tagoran has built up a respectable lead, as there are only two members left to go to Reboda’s three. Terra jumps in. Strago hesitates and then jumps as well.*
Strago: Yaaaaaaaa!!!
*Terra swims with all she’s got, and by the time Strago figures out how to move himself effectively and gets about a quarter of the way there, she’s already reached the trophy. Locke jumps in and hits the water as Strago hits the half-way point. They both reach the beach at about the same time.*
Sabin: Well, brother, looks like it’s just you and me.
Edgar: Yep. Best of luck, brother.
Sabin: Oh, of course. You as well.
*Strago and Locke each touch the trophy. Sabin and Edgar jump into the water. Sabin goes all out for the victory, while Edgar lags behind his more muscular opponent. However, just as it looks as though all is lost for Tagoran…*
Sabin: Ack! Oh no! Leg cramp!
*Sabin floats in the water, incapacitated. Edgar catches up to him. Sabin, not ready to let go of the win yet, paddles using his arms and unhurt leg, yelling through clenched teeth. They both reach the beach at the same time, but Edgar being uninjured helps him tremendously in racing his brother to the Can’t Get Kicked Off Trophy. He touches the trophy. Tagoran wins immunity, and it’s Reboda who will be heading to Clan Council tonight.*
Celes (to camera): The challenge went well. We’re back on top. It just goes to show what being strong is all about – working together and giving 100%.
Sabin (to camera): Oh, man… I should have stretched… Dang it…
NIGHT 9
CLAN COUNCIL
*A somber note fills the air in the Clan Council area as the seven remaining members of Reboda file in.*
Johnny Host: Hi, guys. Well, I know you didn’t want to see this place again, but I guess it was just inevitable. Any thoughts on that, Terra?
Terra: Oh, I don’t think it was inevitable. It was a pretty even challenge, and it could have gone either way.
Johnny Host: Anyone have any thoughts on why it didn’t go your way?
Sabin: Well, you know, I was pretty hard on a couple of our members last time we were here. But, I just want to say that I take full responsibility for losing the challenge for us today, and if I was voted off today, I’d understand. But I’d like to stay and do better.
Johnny Host: So, you think you might be in trouble tonight?
Sabin: Who knows? It could be any one of us.
Johnny Host: That’s true. It could be any of you. And it will definitely be one of you. Reboda, you’ve been through this before, you know the drill. Somebody’s game ends right now. It’s time to vote.
Voice of Johnny Host: Who will be the third castaway to be voted off? Vote now, and find out next week, in Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback!
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