*The theme music begins.*
16 characters... 39 days... one message board...
SURVIVAL 2: THE FINAL FANTASY III OUTBACK
REBODA CLAN
Sabin
Setzer
Terra
Cyan
Locke
Gogo (voted out)
Ultros
Relm
TAGORAN CLAN
Celes
Umaro
Mog
Kefka (voted out)
Shadow
Strago
Edgar
Gau
These players will compete for immunity and popularity, until we ultimately see who is best at...
SURVIVAL
*Theme music cuts out, fade to commercial.*
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Announcer Guy Over S2:FF3OB Logo: Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback is brought to you by...
Squirrel Awareness Week. Have you hugged a squirrel today?
And, by...
Captain Hook. What would the world be like without Captain Hook?
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NIGHT 9
CLAN COUNCIL
Johnny Host: Okay, the abnormally long voting period is over. I'll go get the votes.
*Johnny leaves and returns with the voting jar. Everyone is very nervous as the votes are read.*
Johnny Host: First vote... Sabin. Next vote... Relm. Relm. Relm. Setzer. Relm. Setzer. Setzer.
*Shots of Setzer and Relm looking nervous.*
Johnny Host: That's three votes Setzer, four votes Relm, and one Sabin. Next vote... Setzer. Next vote... Setzer. Last vote... Relm. Well, that's a five to five tie between Setzer and Relm.
Setzer: (remembering what happened last time someone was tied with Relm) Uh oh.
Relm: So, what happens now? Some kind of challenge?
Johnny Host: Well... no. Since the crackmonkeys on the message board can't decide who they want to vote off themselves, it's up to an entirely illogical method to decide which one of you gets voted off. Let's see, here. That first vote for Sabin... We simply change it to whichever one of you it sounds most like. Which is, in this case, Setzer.
*Relm breathes a sigh of relief.*
Setzer: Oh, poo.
Johnny Host: Setzer, your game ends here. The board has spoken.
*Johnny snuffs out Setzer's torch, making him the third one voted off. Setzer takes the walk of shame.*
Johnny Host: Everyone else, time to head back to camp. Try not to find yourselves here again anytime soon.
*The six remaining members of the Reboda Clan trudge out of the Clan Council area and back towards their camp.*
SETZER'S FINAL WORDS
Setzer: Man, I should have known that trying to set up Sabin would come back to me. Figures that that musclehead would pick the most inopportune time to go soft, you know? Anyway, I don't regret anything that I did out here. It was a real blast, and I had a good chance of winning. The cards just didn't fall right.
DAY 10
REBODA
Relm (to camera): I don't know what I'm doing wrong that people keep voting for me. They just don't like kids, I suppose. There's not much I can do about that, is there? Well, anyway, I'll just keep doing my best. That, and an incredible amount of luck, has kept me here so far.
Cyan (to camera): 'Twas a pity, Setzer being voted off. He likely provided more strength to our clan than Relm doth. Still, we remaineth strong. I hath no reason as to why we should not be triumphant in the next challenge.
Sabin (to camera): Wow, I went from getting a lot of votes to getting one... the one that actually cost Setzer the game. *laughs* Well, I guess people really do like it when I'm nicer instead of a leader. I guess I'll just let these folks figure things out for themselves from now on... I don't want to do anything that's going to draw attention. I still plan on winning. But... something that the person who voted for me said isn't sitting well... better talk to Terra about that. She knows all about feelings and stuff.
Terra (to camera): I'm kind of glad that Relm is still here. I wouldn't want to be the only girl left in the clan. Still, I feel bad about Setzer getting voted off. It doesn't feel good losing any members. We're a family out here.
Ultros (to camera): Two down and I'm still here! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!!!
Locke (to camera): I hope we can win the next challenge. It really stinks having to lose all the time. My other clan members just need to pick it up a little bit, if you ask me.
Sabin: Hey Terra, if I ask you something seriously, do you promise not to laugh at me?
Terra: Sure, go ahead.
Sabin: Do I come across as gay to you?
Ultros: UWEE HEE HEE HEE!
Sabin: Ahh, crap! I didn't know HE was here...
Terra: Of course not, Sabin. Why do you bring it up?
Sabin: The person who voted for me began questioning my sexuality. Then it occured to me that I'm like the only one of us without a romantic interest!
Ultros: Hee hee... oh, Sabin. *rubs Sabin's leg with a tentacle*
Sabin: HEY! It's not FUNNY! Geez... forget I said anything! *storms away*
Sabin (to camera): Ultros gets under my skin. Man.
TAGORAN
Edgar (to camera): That challenge went GREAT. It looked like Strago might cost us the win, but he pulled through when it really mattered.
Strago (to camera): I swam! I swam! Woo hoo!
Celes (to camera): I think I'm addicted to winning. It just gives me such a nice feeling inside.
Mog (to camera): This is definitely the stronger clan, kupo!
Gau (to camera): Clan, we have food, get rid of bad man. Make stronger!
Edgar: You know, maybe we should start thinking about our future in this game.
Shadow: You think?
Edgar: Oh, definitely. I mean, how are we going to be most useful to the tribe?
Shadow: Probably by providing food.
Edgar: Exactly. Which is why I think it would be a great idea for you and me to catch a pig.
Shadow: That would be good... but I haven't even seen any pigs around here, much less had the opportunity to catch one.
Edgar: Trust me, there are definitely some pigs around here. The question is, how do we catch one?
Shadow: A pig would be no match for my ninja skills, even if we have been all but disarmed.
Edgar: All right. We'll go tomorrow, then. We can only live on roots and berries for so long out here. And it'll make us even stronger for the next challenge. If I get it my way, we'll go into the merge ahead 7-3. I want to see a Tagoran win this game, even if it's not me.
Shadow: Sounds good.
Shadow: So, Edgar and I are going to try to catch a pig tomorrow.
Celes: Huh? That's crazy. There aren't any pigs around here.
Shadow: Well, Edgar says there are, so we're going to try.
Celes: You know, I don't have a problem with you guys getting food for the clan... I know that's a good thing... but I don't think you should be wasting your time on this when there are more important things to be done.
Shadow: Your complaint is noted. I'll pass it on to Edgar.
Celes: No, it's all right... you guys go try and catch your pig.
Celes (to camera): Men. Can't live without their meat, even if it's not a realistic goal... Next thing you know, they'll be trying to build a recliner out of twigs.
Edgar (to camera): You know what would be really cool after we catch the pig? If I could build a recliner out of twigs.
DAY 11
TAGORAN
*Edgar wakes up early and walks to where Shadow is sleeping under the shelter, waking him as well.*
Edgar: Pig-huntin' time.
Edgar (to camera): Heh heh, heh heh. And I was like, 'Be vewwy vewwy quiet... I'm hunting pigs.'
*Edgar and Shadow proceed into the wooded area not too far north of the camp.*
Edgar: (quietly) Here, piggy piggy...
*Suddenly, there is a rustle in the bushes off to the left. Shadow sneaks up behind them, to cut off the pig's escape, and Edgar leaps into the bushes. There is a great struggle and then Edgar comes up with the creature pinned into submission.*
Gau: AWAO~! Get off!
*Edgar immediately releases Gau.*
Edgar: Sorry.
Shadow: Shh. What are you doing out here?
Gau: Working on 'Stray Pig' rage!
*Edgar sighs.*
Shadow: You've seen a pig around here?
Edgar: If we haven't scared them all off...
Gau: Yes! That way! *points*
Edgar: Well, let's go, then.
Gau: We catch pig now?
Shadow: Yes.
*The newly formed trio proceeds silently in the direction that Gau had pointed. And, if you knew Gau, you'd know that quiet is an accomplishment for him. Suddenly, they hear a rustle in some bushes off to the left. Edgar checks to make sure that Gau is behind him and then signals for Shadow to go around the bushes again. Shadow does so, and the pig inside the bushes squeals and runs toward Edgar, its other options cut off. Edgar grabs the pig. Squealing is heard, and the scene fades.*
*The scene reopens with the pig cleaned and cooking over a fire. Each of the clan members have very happy looks on their faces.*
Celes: (with her head down) I'm sorry for doubting you, Edgar. This is really amazing. I never would've thought it could happy.
Edgar: Oh, don't worry about it, Celes. *winks*
Celes: ...
Umaro: Duhhhh.
Mog: My thoughts exactly, kupo. It seems like it's been forever since I've eaten this well. Wait, do moogles even eat meat? Ah, who cares, kupo!
REBODA
Terra (to camera): The food has been running low... we have a few places to go and get berries, which are nice, but I'm hesitant to eat too many of them because I don't know if they're poisonous or anything. Everyone's kind of grouchy. We could really use a booster. Winning the challenge tomorrow would be a good start.
Sabin (to camera): Tired... want to eat. Rrrrnnn.
Sabin: You think it would be a bad thing to kill Relm and make little girl stew?
Locke: You're kidding, right?
*Relm walks up.*
Relm: Hi Sabin! ...why are you looking at me like that?
Locke: Uhh, come on Relm. You don't want to be over here. Let's get Ultros and go fishing.
DAY 12
REBODA
Cyan: We hath tree mail.
Terra: What does it say?
Cyan: "This is where the game truly starts:
To go on you will needeth some luck and some smarts."
Relm: Did it really say "needeth"?
Cyan: No, I added that part.
Ultros (to camera): The rhyme said we'll need luck for this challenge... too bad Setzer is gone.
Sabin: Come on guys... let's go.
IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
*The two clans arrive at the place for the fourth immunity challenge, a clearing in the middle of the woods not far from the clan council area.*
Johnny Host: Welcome, guys, to your next immunity challenge. This challenge will test your luck as well as your survival knowledge. One member of each clan at a time will come to this large board of fifty index cards that we've set up. Pick one of the cards and then read the question on it. Choose an answer, A or B, and then take the corresponding card of your answer from under the question card - the smaller red cards are "A" and the green ones are "B". That card will have a point value on it. Most of the correct answers have positive point values, while the wrong ones will usually be negative. The first team to five points wins - and there's one card up there that actually has a value of five points. Survivors ready? Go!
*The order that the teams will proceed in has been randomly selected before the challenge. Up first for Reboda is Terra, while Umaro has been selected for Tagoran - much to their chagrin. Terra steps up to the board while Umaro just stands there and the other members of Tagoran try to convince him to do what he's supposed to do. Terra picks card #24 and reads it.*
Terra: "60% of all known lethal poisons are effective immediately. A. True, B. False." That's false.
*Terra grabs the green card from spot #24 and sees that he has earned his clan one point. As Locke steps up to the board, Umaro is finally persuaded to pick a card by Tagoran. He picks card #11 off the board and holds it high above his head.*
Strago: What's he doing?
Umaro: (happily) RRAAHHHH!
*Umaro crushes the card into a fine powder.*
Edgar: D'oh!
Mog: (angrily) Umaro! No, kupo kupo! Be nice to the cards, kupo!!!
Umaro: (hurt) Duhh...
*By this time, Locke has silently chosen a correct answer, earning another point for his clan, and Terra is at the board reading another card. Umaro gently takes the red card from spot #11 and very gently hands it to Johnny.*
Johnny Host: This is the five point card! Tagoran wins!
*Johnny hands Umaro the Can't Get Kicked Off Trophy.*
Sabin: What?!
*The members of Tagoran cheer.*
Umaro: Duhhh.
Johnny Host: Reboda, I'll see you at Clan Council tonight.
Edgar (to camera): I have to admit, I was worried when I heard that this wouldn't be a physical challenge. I was even more worried when Umaro was selected to go first. But, I should've expected no less from our butt-kicking clan. Reboda must be so demoralized right now... ha ha... no pig, and no victory.
Sabin (to camera): It was just not fair. I hate myself for saying that, but it's true.
Relm (to camera): Great, now I'm in trouble. I didn't even get a chance to do anything in that challenge! Not that there's much that could be done against that huge hairy goon!
Locke (to camera): I guess this is what we get for losing Setzer. He had the tribe's luck in his pocket. Man... I'm just so tired of losing. I don't deserve this.
Terra (to camera): Not again... We're totally being dominated.
Cyan (to camera): It's just laughable. It's... out of the question. There was nothing to do about that challenge.
Ultros (to camera): Rats! Why did I have to get stuck with the loser clan, anyway?
NIGHT 12
CLAN COUNCIL
*For the third time, a demoralized, tired, hungry Reboda Clan walks into the Clan Council area and takes their seats. Six of them remain now... soon, it will be down to five.*
Johnny Host: Well, guys... it's almost like there's not much to say at this point. No matter how hard you try, you just can't seem to pull a win, can you?
Cyan: It is terrible.
Sabin: We try and we try, but at every turn something seems to go wrong.
Johnny Host: Would you say that there's a certain degree of tension between you that all this losing brings about?
Terra: I don't think so. We're getting along famously. Of course, if we were actually voting each other out instead of all sharing a common enemy in the message board, it might be a different story.
Johnny Host: Anyone feeling particularly vulnerable tonight?
Relm: I am. I've gotten lots and lots of votes already, and I have a feeling that I might not be so lucky this time.
Johnny Host: Well, does anyone feel like they're 100% safe tonight?
Locke: You know, I think we're all vulnerable to some degree tonight. The only people who are safe right now... well, they're all in the other clan, getting cozy with the Can't Get Kicked Off Trophy.
Johnny Host: This is true. Well, as much as you guys may hate it, it's a part of the game. It is time to vote, and we will be saying goodbye to one more member of your clan tonight.
Voice of Johnny Host: Who will be the fourth person voted out of Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback? Tune in next time to find out!
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