*The theme music begins.*
16 characters... 39 days... one message board...
SURVIVAL 2: THE FINAL FANTASY III OUTBACK
REBODA CLAN
Sabin
Setzer (voted out)
Terra (voted out)
Cyan (voted out)
Locke
Gogo (voted out)
Ultros
Relm
TAGORAN CLAN
Celes
Umaro (voted out)
Mog
Kefka (voted out)
Shadow
Strago
Edgar (voted out)
Gau
These players will compete for immunity and popularity, until we ultimately see who is best at...
SURVIVAL
*Theme music cuts out, fade to commercial.*

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Announcer Guy Over S2:FF3OB Logo: Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback is brought to you by...
Strong Bad Email. "My leg is not made of tape!" "Ali... or Ali's sister?"
And, by...
South Park. Never have two guys done so much with so little. Except for Siegfried and Roy.
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NIGHT 21
CLAN COUNCIL
Johnny Host: Time to read the votes.
*Johnny steps offscreen, toward the voting area. When he comes back, Strago sees him dressed up as a giant penguin. Nobody else seems to notice, though. He stares at him incredulously.*
Johnny Host: Celes, Celes. Relm, Relm. Shadow, Shadow. Strago, Strago, Strago. Sabin, Sabin. And Gau. Strago, with three votes, your time has come. Bring me your torch.
*Strago very cautiously approaches Johnny, wielding his torch as a weapon at one point but not striking out of fear.*
Johnny Host: It is as Mohammed wishes.
Strago: WHAT?!
Johnny Host: I said, the board has spoken.
*Johnny snuffs out Strago's torch. Strago runs away from him as fast as his aged body will carry him.*
Johnny Host: Well guys, get back to camp. You've made it more than halfway through the game, but there's still a long way to go.
*The eight remaining survivors leave, happy that they've survived another Clan Council, but sullen that another one of their clanmates is gone.*

STRAGO'S FINAL WORDS
Strago: I knew too much, that's what was going on! They saw me as a threat with that boomerang thing, I almost won it! They tried to steal my dentures and internal organs at night, those Hindu ostriches... wait, that's not right. What was I talking about?

DAY 22
REBORAN
Celes (to camera): Well, I guess Strago's game finally had to come to an end. I was actually kind of mad that he got as far as he did and is now in the jury. I mean, it's supposed to be the strong survive, right? You can't get much weaker than Strago.
Locke (to camera): People from the former Tagoran Clan are getting voted off left and right! Don't get me wrong, that's a good thing because I want to have a member of Reboda win it - hopefully me - but it seems like you hardly meet somebody before you're saying goodbye to them.
Mog (to camera): We're down to eight, kupo, and the old psycho's gone. Pity, though... he was rather amusing, kupo.
Relm (to camera): *sniff* Grandpa... what did they do to you? You didn't deserve to go...
Gau (to camera): Me think that was first vote for me. Me not know how me feel about this.
Sabin (to camera): Well, whatever happens now, I'm happy with my game. I may not be the most popular guy out here, but I'm surviving. I've already beaten eight people - I'm in the top... uh... 60 percent?
Shadow (to camera): People on the board got mad at me for not saying anything. Oh, well. Being loud and obnoxious is not really my style. If you want that, look for someone like... I don't know, Ultros.
Ultros (to camera): UWEE HEE HEE HEE! I was just thinking, wouldn't it be great if I won this whole thing? I mean, I'm not even really part of the FF3 group! I could beat them all!

Mog: Come on Relm, cheer up, kupo.
Relm: *sniff* Yeah, I know... I'm just sad about losing gramps so soon after the two clans merged.
Mog: You should just be glad you got to see him at all! He gave you just the boost you needed to keep going, right?
Relm: You're right. Thanks, Mog!
*Relm gives Mog a big hug.*
Relm (to camera): Mog's like a talking teddy bear. It's great.
Mog (to camera): Grr... that little girl has no respect for personal space, kupo. Wouldn't mind seeing her get voted off next.

Locke (to camera): Relm's been hit pretty hard by Strago getting voted off. I think it's kind of how I felt when Terra got voted off, except that Terra is hotter than Strago.
Locke: Hey, Relm. I think I know what could cheer you up.
Relm: What?
*Locke pulls a stick out from behind his back.*
Relm: (somewhat more happily) The Story Stick!
Locke: That's right! How about it? Who's in?
Gau: What that?
*Locke and Relm briefly explain the Story Stick to the Tagoran members.*
Gau: Okay, me do it!
Locke: Everyone else is in too, right?
Celes: No thanks.
Shadow: ...
Mog: I guess I will, kupo.
Ultros: Okay, so the six of us then!
Sabin: Yeah, right.
*Sabin, Shadow, and Celes walk away, presumably to go fishing or hunting.*
Ultros: All right then, the five of us!
Locke (to camera): Interesting that the people who decided not to relax and enjoy our company - Celes, Sabin, and Shadow - went off together. They seem to have a common bond: their general disgust for everyone else!
Locke: Okay, Relm. Why don't you start us off?
Relm: All right. *receives Story Stick* Once upon a time, there was an old man named Strago. ... WAHHHH!!!
*Relm runs off, crying.*
Locke: Well... That didn't work.
Ultros (to camera): That child better watch herself! People don't like cryers! I mean, I have an excuse, I swim through salt water all the time. Any idea how much that stuff stings your eyes?
Gau (to camera): Relm have emotional problems.
Mog (to camera): Okay, everyone's hungry, and tired, and tired of each other, kupo. But that's no excuse for the kind of outburst Relm had today. Whatever happened to saving face, kupo?
Sabin (to camera): I feel a little bit more distanced from Locke all the time. It seemed like he subconsciously took Relm's side when I had that bout with her. He's still looking after her all the time. Must be picking up where Terra left off. Why does everybody always take her side! I'd like her with a side of onion rings... heh heh, just kidding.

DAY 23
REBORAN
Relm (to camera): I felt like I had really screwed up yesterday. I mean, everything just got to me. I'm basically a kid in an adult's game here. I don't know how much more I can take.
Relm: I'm sorry for crying yesterday, guys.
Locke: I don't think it was that big a deal.
Relm: No, really. I mean, I've really tried to be strong, and I didn't want to show you guys so much weakness.
Shadow: We all have a little bit of weakness in us.
Relm: ...
Shadow: You don't have to kill your emotions to get ahead. Trust me.
Mog: Yeah, don't worry, kupo. We're a family out here, kupo.
Sabin: Of course. And if my little sister Relm is hurting, I'm hurting. Relm: Thanks, guys.
Relm (to camera): They all made me feel a lot better. I think I can carry on without crying now. I miss my grandpa, but I'll see him again soon.
Sabin (to camera): Everybody left out here is either deceptive or weak. And I'm not one of the weak ones.
Celes (to camera): I didn't actually see the outburst Relm referred to, so I didn't have anything to say. I'm still confused as to how this crying child got so far. I used to be like that once, but not for long. I don't think she will last much longer.
Mog (to camera): Relm's just shooting herself in the foot by calling so much attention to herself. But I'm pretty sure she can't just turn it off, kupo.
Shadow (to camera): Poor kid.
Ultros (to camera): It's been over three weeks out here, and I could honestly say I'd miss Relm if she went. But I also don't think I'd like to give up the win for her! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!
Gau (to camera): People angry, Relm sad. People happy, Relm sad. Me no understand women.

DAY 24
REBORAN
Locke: Hey, guys. Here's the note for today's immunity challenge:
"Balance and strength will help you pull
And get you closer to your goal.
Stay on your feet and don't fall in the moat,
And you will be safe from tonight's council vote."
Gau: Ooh, long one.
Celes: A pretty good one, too. Are we sure that Warteen actually wrote that one?
Locke: I think he did. That's like, copyright infringement or something if he didn't.
Mog: But who would know the difference?
Ultros: Hey, come on! It's almost time to do the challenge!
Ultros (to camera): I was anxious to win again. I like the feel of this talisman. Even more, I like the feel of not having any votes. I mean, the feeling. UWEE HEE HEE HEE!!!
Celes (to camera): It occured to me before the challenge that it's four against four with the two clans now. It's strange that I hadn't noticed that right when Strago got voted off. I guess it really is kind of like a family. How unusual.
Relm (to camera): This is definitely a challenge I want to win. Being immune right now would come in very handy. Especially since if people can't vote for me, they'd get rid of that big jerk Sabin!
Sabin (to camera): This is definitely a challenge I want to win. Being immune right now would come in very handy. Especially since if people can't vote for me, they'd get rid of that little brat Relm!

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE
*The eight remaining survivors - Locke, Celes, Gau, Shadow, Sabin, Ultros, Relm, and Mog - walk down to the beach, a popular spot for immunity challenges. Johnny greets them once again.*
Johnny Host: Hey, guys! Today's immunity challenge involves, as you've read, balance and strength. It's a tug of war competition on floating platforms over the water. It will be one on one in tournament style brackets, with the winners advancing to face each other. Basically, the person who wins three matches will be our immunity winner. Survivors ready? GO!
*The first match is to be Celes vs. Ultros. They swim out and take their positions on the platforms, and each grab the rope. Well, Ultros grabs it as much as an octopus can grab. Needless to say, Celes, who actually has a grip on the rope as well as feet to stand on the wobbly platform, easily fells her opponent. Ultros is out.*
Ultros: Anybody ever notice that these challenges are species biased?
*These challenges are not species biased at all.*
Ultros: Oh, okay then.
*The next match is Gau vs. Locke. They swim to their positions and grab the rope.*
Locke: You're going down, wild boy.
Gau: You wish! AWAO!!!
*With a strong and unexpected yank, Gau pulls Locke swiftly off his platform.*
Locke: Crap...
*The next match is Relm against Shadow. They are both silent. Relm realizes this will be tough, and she hopes to win. As Shadow pulls, she matches his strength until he increases to a level that she can't hope to compete with. Then, right before she's about to collapse, she simply lets go of the rope. Shadow goes plunging off the back of his platform.*
Relm: Hooray!
Shadow: Hmm... it seems I underestimated you. Nice work.
*The final first round match-up is Sabin against Mog.*
Sabin: This doesn't seem right, you're puny.
Mog: Make my day, kupo!
Sabin: Okay. But, before I do that, I must ask. What does "kupo" mean exactly?
Mog: Well, there's a long story behind the holy word "kupo". It all started a long time ago when-
*With Sabin having dropped his guard, Mog gives the rope the biggest yank he can muster. Sabin looks as though he's going to fall for a moment, and then...*
Sabin: Ha ha ha! That was it?
*Sabin grins and, with one arm, pulls Mog off his platform.*
Johnny Host: Okay, that makes first round winners Sabin, Relm, Gau, and Celes. We're starting off the second round with Celes vs. Sabin.
*Celes and Sabin proceed to their platforms for what could be an interesting match, what with Celes's competitive nature. Unfortunately, it's not an interesting match at all, because all the competitive nature in the world won't change the fact that Sabin is one strong dude, certainly stronger than Celes. And, since she'd foolishly hoped to beat him by strength alone - must be that feminist streak - it takes about half a second for him to pull her off her platform and send her plunging into the water.*
Celes: What is it about Figaro men getting me wet all the time?!
Sabin: Hee hee, that's awesome.
*Gau is up against Relm to finish off the second round and see who will challenge Sabin for immunity.*
Gau: Good luck.
Relm: You too!
*They each grab the rope. Relm inquistively pulls, and Gau pulls back slightly harder. The tug-of-war goes on for a while, with both showing visible signs of fatigue. Finally, Relm's weak constitution gives in and, with a cry, she is pulled into the water.*
Gau: Sorry!
Johnny Host: Okay, it's Gau against Sabin. Winner of this match gets immunity!
*Gau and Sabin climb up onto the platforms for the third time each. They glare at each other for a moment before pulling, like two wannabe Alpha Males. Sabin attempts Gau's strategy of a hard yank, having noticed his strength on par with Relm's. To his surprise, though, Gau barely moves. Gau answers back with a shockingly hard pull, which brings Sabin to his knees, but he stays on the platform and manages to get back to his feet.*
Sabin: Oh, so that's how you want it, eh...
*Sabin redoubles his efforts, pulling harder than he's had to before, but Gau pulls just as hard on the other side. It seems that the Tarzan-esque youngster was cleverly holding quite a bit back when he beat Relm. Sabin ties the rope around his waist so that he can use the advantage of his body weight. Gau watches this, beads of sweat flowing down the side of his face. This standoff continues for another thirty seconds or so.*
Gau: Give up!
Sabin: Never!
Gau: Give up, Mr. Thou!
*Sabin, irked by his old, hated nickname, lightens his grip on the rope.*
Sabin: HEY! I told you once, I'm NOT Mr. Tho-wwooooah!
*Gau pulls him off his platform.*
Johnny Host: Gau wins immunity!
Gau: AWAO!!!
*After Gau swims back to the shore, Johnny Host puts the Can't Get Kicked Off Talisman around his neck.*
Johnny Host: Congratulations, Gau. I'll see you guys at Clan Council tonight.
*The contestants leave the beach and head back to camp.*
Gau (to camera): Me win again! YAY!
Sabin (to camera): That Gau is smarter than he looks. He had a better strategy than anyone out there. I didn't think he could be so deceptive.
Relm (to camera): I got beat... and to make it even worse, Sabin got further than me. I'm such a goner! Oh, well, I never let that worry me before.
Celes (to camera): Darn, I should have won that one. I just made a dumb mistake.
Shadow (to camera): I was hoping Relm would win after she beat me. She didn't, though.
Locke (to camera): Bum deal on that challenge. I don't feel quite as bad, since the kid who beat me won the whole thing, but still...
Ultros (to camera): Species bias, I'm telling you. Nobody thought I had a chance at that boomerang challenge, so they've made them even tougher! Oh, well. As long as I'm here, I'll be a threat!
Mog (to camera): I don't know why Ultros is so mad. I'm the one who really gets screwed over by these challenges, kupo. Let's see - throwing a boomerang bigger than me, and then playing tug-of-war with a bodybuilder. Yeah, that's great, kupo.

NIGHT 24
CLAN COUNCIL
*It's a rainy night as the Reboran Clan enters the Clan Council area. Johnny Host braves the elements and gets his hair wet, with no umbrella to his name.*
Johnny Host: Hi guys. Well, we'll make this as quick as possible, since nobody likes the harsh weather we're getting tonight. First we need to bring in the first member of our jury.
*Strago enters underneath an umbrella. He is clean, well-fed, happy, and properly medicated. He takes a seat across from the clan members, wisdom shining in his eyes rather than the dementia they've grown so accustomed to. Upon seeing him, Relm smiles broadly.*
Johnny Host: The jury's place is not to speak, merely to observe and gain information to help them decide who they think should win the game at the end. Now, Relm, what do you think happened today as far as the challenge went?
Relm: I got past the first round and I was proud of myself, thinking maybe I had a chance. But I guess Gau was just too good.
Sabin: Gau was definitely better at that than I expected after seeing his first two rounds.
Gau: Hee hee! Me smart!
Ultros: Johnny, I'd be lying if I said I didn't think these challenges were a little lopsided, but I can dig it. I'm probably going to win the whole thing anyway! UWEE HEE HEE HEE!
Gau: Not if you no win immunity!
Johnny Host: Does anybody feel like they're seeing any divisions within the clan?
*Nobody speaks up.*
Johnny Host: Well, I take it from the silence that one, you guys don't want to make the boardgoers mad at you, and two, you want to get out of this rain. So I won't delay you any further. Remember that once again, Gau is safe for tonight. It's time to vote.

Voice of Johnny Host: Who will become the ninth person voted out? Find out next time, on Survival 2: The Final Fantasy III Outback!!!

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