INTERVIEW IN THE MATRIX
(THE VC MEETS “THE MATRIX”)
DISCLAIMER: All characters are property of Anne Rice. No copyright infringement on
anyone’s part is intended through writing this story. The idea just occurred to me one
night and I wrote it because I thought it would be good for a chuckle. I’m not making any
money off of this, nor do I ever intend to, so please don’t sue me.
[Interior: A darkened building. A storm rages outside while three figures sit motionless in
a crumbling, musty room. One, a blonde man of about twenty wearing violet-tinted
sunglasses and a long velvet coat sits in a high backed chair. Another man with long black
hair and bright green eyes sits across from him. There is a small table positioned between
them, upon which rests a small silver case. A last man, with auburn hair who does not
appear to be more than 17 years of age stands in a corner, staring at the other two rather
disdainfully.]
LOUIS: Lestat, are you sure this is important? Because if it isn’t, well, I was home
reading a perfectly wonderful book...
LESTAT: Yes, in that dilapidated shack you like to call a house. Honestly Louis, I don’t
know how you survive like that sometimes. But yes, this is important, if you could only
stop whining long enough to let me explain...
LOUIS: Okay, okay. You were saying?
LESTAT: [clears throat] Louis, do you ever notice anything, well, *strange* about the
world around you? Anything unusual?
LOUIS: Are you serious?
LESTAT: [scowls]
LOUIS: Oh, of course you are. Oh Lestat! I’m so glad you’ve finally noticed it too! I
thought I was alone in this all this time but I knew you’d come around eventually. Finally,
someone who understands how difficult it is to be one of us, who knows what it’s like to
be an outcast. Oh Lestat, it just gets so lonely sometimes--
LESTAT: Louis! Would you stop your melancholic rambling? I didn’t mean how the
world is for *us*, I just meant in general. Sheesh, sometimes your depression really
colors your vision.
LOUIS: Sorry. Then you mean--
LESTAT: Yes Louis, you’re still the most depressed individual I’ve ever encountered in
all my long years here. Now, to get back to what I was saying...I can continue, can’t I?
LOUIS: [frowns deeply and sighs] Yeah, I guess so. [mumbles] Like it matters anyway,
like anything does.
LESTAT: As I was *saying*...Louis, there are certain things about this world that are
just not right, certain things that are out of place, certain things that don’t fit...
LOUIS: Like us? That’s no surprise Lestat, I’ve told you all along how we don’t
belong...
LESTAT: *Louis!* Not us, okay? The Matrix! Mon Dieu, it’s the Matrix, the Matrix!
LOUIS: What is the Matrix?
LESTAT: The Matrix, my dear Louis, is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to
blind you from the truth.
LOUIS: What truth? The truth that life is meaningless and horrible and nothing has any
significance at all?
LESTAT: *No*. The truth that we are slaves.
LOUIS: Oh. Well, that doesn’t make me feel any better.
LESTAT: The Matrix is a computer program designed by robots to keep us under control
so that they can turn us to the batteries needed to power their machines!
LOUIS: And why should I care?
LESTAT: Because, Louis! Because the establishment has us under its thumb and we
cannot just sit idly by and let ourselves be slaves to the rules. The rules were meant to be
broken! We must rise above this silly oppression, we must show these machines who’s
really stronger! We cannot give up Louis, we must *never* give up.
LOUIS: Well, I guess that’s as good a reason as any.
LESTAT: Louis, I’m going to offer you something now. [He takes the silver case off of
the table and opens it, removing two pills, one red and one blue]. I cannot merely explain
to you what the Matrix is Louis, you must see it for yourself. If you take the red pill you
will be able to see the real world for what it is. If you take the blue pill, you will wake up
and remember nothing, and go on living life as you have always lived it....if you can call
moping and reading by candlelight night after night living...
LOUIS: Wow, that’s a pretty big decision. I’m not sure what I should do.
LESTAT: Take the red pill Louis.
LOUIS: But I’m not sure I want to.
LESTAT: [rolls his eyes] Do it Louis! End your suffering, see the world for what it really is!
LOUIS: Lestat, I’m just not sure I want to. It's really unfair of you prey upon me when
I'm so obviously vulnerable.
LESTAT: Louis--
ARMAND: Louis *is* right, you know.
LESTAT: [turns to Armand, glaring in anger] Shut up Armand. Like you know *nothing*
about preying upon Louis when he's *vulnerable*.
ARMAND: [looking embarrassed] No need to dig up the past.
LESTAT: Louis, listen, take the red pill. Do it, free yourself from this, [makes a sweeping
gesture] this mortal coil.
LOUIS: [looking confused] Lestat, can't I have some time to decide?
LESTAT: Louis, you're immortal. We could be here forever. Just take the red pill, I'll
explain later. [he sees that Louis is hesitant] I promise. Go on, take it.
LOUIS: [whining] I’m so torn! Please, stop pressuring me...
LESTAT: Mon Dieu! Louis, can’t you just take a chance, or trust me for *once*? Take
the red pill, it’s the right thing to do. You do trust me, don’t you?
LOUIS: I’m not sure, I--
ARMAND: Lestat, don’t push him. Perhaps if I took him into the next room I could
better persuade him--
LESTAT: [scowls] You’re not going anywhere with him Armand. Unless you plan on
pushing me off of some more towers nobody is going anywhere.
ARMAND: But I only meant--
LESTAT: Armand, go play with Daniel or something.
ARMAND: [grumbles and walks to a phone in the center of the room. He picks it up,
dials a number and says something unintelligible. He waits awhile and then suddenly
disappears into thin air. The phone drops to the floor].
LESTAT: Now, as I was saying--
LOUIS: Lestat! My God! Did you just see that?! Armand disappeared, he just vanished!
I can’t believe it!
LESTAT: Have you not been listening to anything I’ve said? Look Louis, you take the
red pill and I’ll be able to explain more about what just happened...about that and so much
more. It will be so much better, you’ll see.
LOUIS: But if I take the red pill, that means I’ll never be able to go back to my shack-er,
house again. Or to my books...
LESTAT: Yes you will, Louis. Anytime you come into the Matrix you can visit your,
um, quaint little dwelling again. Besides, the world around you isn’t even real, so I don’t
see what the big deal is.
LOUIS: That’s comforting, thanks.
LESTAT: Louis, please, It’s nearly dawn, we must work quickly. Take the red pill
Louis. Trust me. Do what it is in your nature to do.
LOUIS: [growing annoyed] How is it in my nature to listen to everything *you* say?
I’m my own person you know, I can make my own decisions.
LESTAT: Yes, yes, of course you can. Whatever you say Louis. Just take the red pill.
LOUIS: But I’m still not sure...What if I get lost once I wake up, what if I don’t know
what to do?
LESTAT: Louis, don’t you know me at all by now? You’ll have me, I’ll help you. I’ll
show you all the wonders of the *real* world.
LOUIS: You’ll be here for me? Always? No more secrets?
LESTAT: [grins wickedly] No more secrets Louis. Now take the red pill and let's get
this over with.
LOUIS: And you’ll be here for me when I wake up?
LESTAT: I’ll always be here for you Louis.
THE END
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