Ten Top Reasons to Play Trombone

9. Chicks dig the big cases

8. It's Shiny!!!!

7. Works as a lightning rod

6. Tastes like chicken

5. Slides nicely when lubricated

4. Scares away the neighbor's cat

3. Outblows any woodwind

2. No Batteries Necessary

1. It's the only instrument that doesn't suck!!!!