Un-break my heart
By Gabriela Valenzuela
Prologue
You’re my world
"Is it here?" Tess turned and asked Sam, the angel in charge of special cases, when they appeared in a corner of a big dark room.
"Yes, Tess, it’s here," the dark skinned angel told the supervisor. "It’s going to start any minute now."
"You-you know, Sam? I really don’t like the idea of Monica handling this. She’s faced evil many times but nothing like this!"
"I know," Sam replied noticing the deep worry in his co-worker’s eyes. "But the Father knows she’s the right angel for this."
"It’s going to be too hard for that angel girl..."
"She’s strong enough..."
"What if she can’t deal with this alone? You said I won’t be working with her..."
"She’ll get special help if she needs it..." Sam assured her.
"Andrew?" Tess asked hopefully.
"I’m afraid not. He won’t be able to help her this time. Much on the contrary, he will be her biggest weakness," the male angel answered.
"Sam, I hate to say this but I’m really scared," the supervisor said in an insecure tone that was very unusual in her.
"I understand but there’s no other way. It’s too late to find someone else. They are coming," Sam said and then looked at the door.
The two angels saw a group of people getting into the room, all dressed in black with large capes covering them from head to toe, their faces hidden from the paly light of a chandelier. They formed a circle and started to sing something neither Tess nor Sam understood. It seemed they were in a kind of trance, their singing repeated once and again until another figure appeared out of nothing and came closer the them.
Two of the figures went to his side and bowed in front of him, then invited a third one that made the same. Sam and Tess were right in front of them but across the room. They were invisible to human eyes, so a bone deep worry ran through them when the figure appeared out of nothing lifted his face and looked at them. The two other figures that had come to its side first looked at the angels and then uncovered their faces. "Oh, Father, please help us!" Tess murmured when she recognized them and then turned to look at Sam. He nodded confirming her fears: it was the Enemy itself.
****
"Andrew! Come! Look at this!" Monica shouted and in a second she got rid of her shoes and ran across the backyard of "her" house to the beach at the end of it. She had just gotten the orders to go to San Francisco and get settled in that house at the limits of the city, and she was far from complaining about the location. She ran as a little child until the small waves reached her feet.
At hearing her shouts, Andrew went to the backyard door and stood there just looking at her. His heart felt so full of love that he couldn’t think about anything but thanking God for create that little angel. The almost setting sun was washing her small figure with a soft orange light that made her look even more beautiful, even more ethereal in the loosen dress she was wearing. She then turned to see him and smiled, reaching a hand to invite him to join her.
Andrew walked to her and taking her hand, he pulled her into a tight hold. "Do you ever realize how amazingly beautiful you are?" he murmured kissing her cheek and then her lips. They stayed there for some minutes, just looking at the sun and the sea, until Andrew checked his watch. "We better hurry."
"Can’t we wait for the sunset?" Monica pouted.
"Oh, no! You were the one who insisted on that restaurant downtown! We are not missing the reservations!" he said mockingly complaining. "You better get pretty as soon as possible!"
Monica yelled in surprise when Andrew took her in his arms and started to walk back to the house. "I thought you’d said I was already pretty!" she argued.
"You are! You are the most beautiful angel God has ever created!" he replied placing her back on the floor near where she had let her shoes. "But humans created something like dressing codes, and barefoot is not acceptable everywhere!" he teased her leaning down to give her a peck and later pushing her gently inside the house.
*
"Do you know where Tess is?" Monica asked Andrew late that night when they were already taking the dessert in the restaurant she had picked up.
"No, baby, I don’t know. She just asked me to take you to the house and keep you company... And I’m far from complaining!" he added kissing her hand.
"So do I!" she agreed. "This was a different Valentine’s."
"The first we spend like this," he added kissing her hand again. "I have something for you."
She opened her mouth in a surprised intake when she saw the beautiful pair of earrings and the matching ring he had bought her. They were made with gold, sapphires and diamonds and had the shape of a small flower, with the blue gem at the center. "Andrew, they are beautiful!" she reached a trembling hand to graze them.
"Delicate, small, almost innocent... like you, baby," he said taking the ring and slipping it on her finger. "So you remember I’m with you wherever you go."
Monica felt tears stinging in her eyes with his present. "I have something for you too," she said, "but my present pales in comparison with yours."
He took the package she was offering him and unwrapped it to discover a leather covered edition of the Twenty love poems and a song of despair by Pablo Neruda. He opened it and read the inscription she had written.
"I know you like poetry," she explained, "and these were perfect. I took a little paragraph of one to write the inscription."
"I don’t resemble anybody since you loved me.
Lay me down between yellow garlands.
Who writes my name in smoke letters among the stars of the South?
Ah, let me remember how I was back then,
when I didn’t exist yet."*
"I couldn’t give you something like this..." the little angel said almost ashamedly looking at the ring in her hand.
He didn’t let her finish. He placed a hand on the back of her neck and pulled her down for a long, passionate kiss. "You alone are the best present I could ever get," he told her trying to regain his breath. "You are my world!"
They kissed again until they were again both breathless. "You’re my world, you’re every breath I take," Monica murmured repeating the lyrics of Cilla Black’s song. "If our love ceases to be, then it’s the end of my world, end of my world for me."
______
*Poem 14, You play all days...
"You don’t resemble anybody since I love you.
Let me lay you down between yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in smoke letters among the stars of the South?
Ah, let me remember how you were back then,
when you didn’t exist yet."
****
Chapter 1
God only knows
"Monica, Tess is already waiting for you!" Andrew shouted from the bottom of the stairs. "She’s already dressing, I can’t hear the shower," the blond angel told the supervisor coming back to the kitchen. "We... hum... had a busy night yesterday... We thought you’d join us."
Tess smiled and patted his hand lovingly. "On Valentine’s day? I knew you’d find something special to do and you’d rather do that without me!"
"You know we love you, Tess," Andrew said kissing her cheek.
"And I love you two too, angel boy. But I know that sometimes you need to be alone and I should be out of the way..." she replied mischievously and chuckled when she saw Andrew blushing and finding his empty coffee mug suddenly fascinating.
"Good morning, Tess!" Monica said going to hug her supervisor.
"Well, good morning, sleeping beauty! You’ve just saved Andrew to be scolded for keeping you awake till too late!" the dark skinned angel teased her.
"He’d have to be scolded for not taking coffee upstairs! He knows that’s an effective way to wake me up!" the Irish angel joked serving herself a hot mug of her favorite drink and took a seat beside Andrew, pecking him on the lips at his expression of mock annoyance.
"Ok, now we can discuss your new assignment, Miss Wings," Tess said seriously. "You’re taking a post of executive secretary at Burgham enterprises. You’ll be working with the president, Jamal Burgham."
"All right. And where will you be?" the small angel asked taking a piece of fruit from the plate Andrew had placed in front of her.
"Angel baby, this time neither Andrew nor me will be there. You’re on your own..."
Monica had handled some assignments already alone, so that was not the part that scared her. It was the too solemn tone in Tess’ voice. "What is this assignment about, Tess? All I know so far is that I had to be in this house, but the Father hasn’t told me more..."
"I know, baby. I asked Him to be the one telling you." Tess moved her chair to be closer to her charge and took her hands. "Monica, I’ll be direct. You’re going to face Evil again. I know you’ve done it sometimes before and that the Father has always been there with you. I know He will too this time, but yet I have to warn you: it is not just one evil being this time. Your assignment is Jamal, a very rich and powerful man, but..."
"... but he has forgotten God," Monica ventured.
"Yes, but he has not only forgotten the Father. He has neglected Him in the worst way: Jamal has offered his soul to the Devil by the time of his death."
Monica took a sharp breath and opened her eyes, looking at Andrew and then at Tess. She could feel Andrew’s hand rubbing her waist and she knew it was more for his own fear than to soothe her apprehension. "And his death is not far..." the little angel turned to see Andrew.
He knew he couldn’t lie to her even when the scared look in her eyes made his heart ache. "No, baby. It may be coming..."
****
The rest of the breakfast was quiet and somber, and so was the trip to Monica’s new office. Andrew had taken his normal seat at the back of the red Cadillac, but he had kept a hand on his beloved angel’s shoulder, alternately combing her hair and rubbing her right arm. Once they had arrived to the office building, Tess parked the car and turned to see her charge. "Remember, angel girl, don’t let them fool you. Be careful. Remember how the enemy works, attacking your weaknesses and using your fears. Don’t let them deceive you."
"I’ll be careful, Tess," Monica said leaning over to hug her supervisor. "God will always be with me."
"Yes, baby, He will."
Andrew has already jumped out of the car and was holding the door opened for her. When she descended, he pulled her into a fiercely protective hug. "Take care, Monica, please. God only knows what would become of me if I lost you."
She pulled apart a little to look at his eyes and found there the strong and deep love he felt for her. She cupped his cheek tenderly and made him lean down for a kiss. "I’ll be fine, Andrew. You take care. Please, come back tonight?"
"Godspeed, baby. If I don’t get assigned, I’ll come to have dinner with you, ok?" he said giving her a last quick kiss.
"I’ll be waiting for you."
Both Andrew and Tess saw her getting into the building before they left. "Can I give you a lift, angel boy?" the supervisor asked him.
"Yeah, thanks, Tess. I have to be at the County hospital in one hour," the angel of death answered seriously.
They drove for a while in an uncomfortable silence until the dark skinned angel talked. "Something’s wrong, Andrew?"
The blond angel sighed. "I don’t like the idea of Monica handling something like this and alone! You know how she is, how caring her heart is and if the enemy tries to use her weak points, she’s going to suffer a lot! Wasn’t anybody else to do this?!"
"Are you insinuating that the Father made a wrong choice, angel boy?"
Andrew broke Tess’ gaze and looked in front not really paying attention to anything. "It much feels like..." he confessed, "...although I know He always knows what He’s doing."
"Yes, He knows, Andrew! He has his reasons to pick Monica out for this job even if we both would gladly trade places with her to spare her from danger! Against Evil we’re all together in this war, but only the Father knows what the next movement will be. We have to trust Monica and trust Him over all!" the supervisor replied.
"I do trust Him... and I trust Him with her," Andrew spoke after some seconds in silence. "I just hope I don’t get assigned at night to be able to come and check on her," he said getting out of the car and heading towards the hospital main entrance.
****
Monica walked somehow timidly towards the big black desk where a tall man was desperately looking for something among big piles of papers that were now all scattered around. He was wearing only his shirt and his tie was half loosen, showing clearly he was frantic for what he was searching. "E-excuse me, sir," Monica said cautiously. "I’m looking for Mr. Jamal Burgham."
"If your name’s Monica and you’re applying for the secretary post, you’re hired," he said not taking his eyes off the papers.
The Irish angel chuckled lightly, her previous uncertainty immediately gone. "Yes, I am Monica," and she offered her hand to him.
Only then Jamal looked at her, taking her hand. "Monica? My new secretary?" he said carefully studying her, a weird spark in his eyes that she didn’t like much. Jamal was looking at her examining her body and she could feel it. "Hum... Nice hair... Reddish," he said still holding her hand even when she had discretely tried to pull it away. "It matches my assistant’s hair too. You’ll know her soon. It seems that I’m condemned to live among reddish haired women. All right then," he said finally releasing her hand and walking to his office. "That’s your desk, and if you can find among those the taxes payment receipts from the last year, you’ll get a promotion in your salary since today."
Monica stood still until the door was closed and then sighed in resignation. She put away some papers to make room for her purse and started to order the mess. An hour later, she knocked at Jamal’s door and walked into the office with the papers he had asked.
"These are all, Mr. Burgham. I checked twice," the little angel said.
"Call me Jamal," he replied while he looked at the papers. "Good job, Monica. I think we’ll get along just fine!"
Monica smiled and sighed in relief, and then heard a new knock at the door.
"Come in! Oh, there you are!" Jamal exclaimed when he saw the two people coming. "Monica, I want you to meet my closer workers, my personal assistant and my driver."
Still smiling, the Irish angel turned to greet them, but her heart froze when she recognized them. "Kathleen! Gregory!" she exclaimed.
****
Chapter 2
Part 1 Don’t let this feeling end
"Well, well.. Aren’t you happy to see us, Monica?" Kathleen asked sarcastically when they left Jamal’s office.
"What are you doing here?" Monica asked defiantly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Where are your manners, Mony?" Gregory said wrapping an arm around her shoulders that she immediately tried to get rid of. "Instead of saying something nice like ‘Long time no see’. Is that the way you greet your partners?"
"You’ve never been my partner, Gregory. Kathleen was, but now..." she turned to look at the former Search and Rescue angel with something that resembled sadness in her hazel eyes.
"We’ll work together again, Monica. Isn’t that great?" Kathleen asked.
"We won’t work together, Kathleen, and you know that," the little angel said coldly. "In fact, I’m here to stop you to do your job."
Gregory laughed in scorn. "Hold your wings, little angel! You think we’re giving up so easily? Of course not! We’ve gotten Jamal’s soul, we’re not losing it!"
"You don’t have it yet!"
"Didn’t your boss told you he’s offered his soul to our master by the time of his death?" the male demon asked again. "For me that’s a promise!"
"He still can regret it and ask for forgiveness, you know that!" Monica’s eyes flashed with certainty. "That’s why you don’t want to leave him alone! You still can lose him!"
"Ease, Monica, ease!" Kathleen told her ex friend patting her shoulder in mock understanding. "Gregory can be a little rude, you know him. He thinks he can beat you in a will contest, but I have a better proposition."
"I’m not interested in any of your propositions, Kathleen, thank you."
"Are you sure? What if I tell you I’m willing to give up on Jamal?"
"Sure you do!"
"I will... if you agree to make a deal," the female demon said.
"I don’t make deals with any of you..."
"If you fail this assignment, you risk to lose God’s love. If you lose Jamal’s soul, you’re losing one of His children’s soul. Don’t you think that would make him angry?" Kathleen asked knowing that was a very sensitive cord for an angel. "You were created to save them not to lose them. He’ll forgive you, yes, but do you think you’d keep on being a caseworker? I’m pretty sure you’d be back to Search and Rescue or what is worse, you might be send somewhere else... like cherubim sitting or gardening..."
"That would be humiliating, Monica!" Gregory made fun of her. "From being the best caseworker to take care of the noisy little cherubims. Lucky you like children!"
"That will never happen!" Monica said with clear anger in her voice. "First because that’s not how it works, second because I’m not losing this assignment!"
"You have already, dear!" Kathleen told her. "But there’s a way for you to get it. If you only hear my proposition..."
"I will never...!" the little angel said.
"An interchange," the demon interrupted her and Gregory looked at her quizzically until he heard the last part. "Jamal’s soul for Andrew’s."
"WHAT?!" Monica shouted feeling how anger and fear raised in her heart in a second.
"You heard me, yes, I can accept Andrew’s soul instead of Jamal’s. You know, Monica? I’ve seen you two together and you make me sick! All that sugar..." Kathleen shivered. "Don’t you get bored? Honestly..."
"How can you ever believe I’d trade Andrew?! Other than the Father, he’s what I love the most!"
"That’s it, you’d said it, dear!" Gregory replied. "’Other than the Father’. The question is who you love the most. Your God or Andrew? You can choose. God’s love and your assignment or your blondie friend."
Just when the Irish angel was about to argue, a buzz in the intercom interrupted them. Monica pressed a button to reply to Jamal’s call. "Y-yes?" she said, her voice clearly trembling.
"Monica, I need you here!" the man’s voice ordered.
"Think about it, Mony," Kathleen said walking away with Gregory. "God or Andrew? That easy."
****
Wanting or not, Monica couldn’t take out of her mind Kathleen and Gregory’s words. Of course she didn’t want to risk her assignment but she would never ever send Andrew to hell. The problem was that there was indeed the possibility of someone ending up there, Jamal, and God was trusting her to save His child.
Before she realized it, it was already five o’clock, her time of leaving the office. She only looked at the clock when Jamal left his office and passed by her desk.
"See you tomorrow, Monica. Gregory and Kathleen are waiting for me. I need the payment orders first hour in the morning, ok?"
"Ok," the angel replied. "See you tomorrow."
She was collecting her things when the phone rang. "There’s a man looking for Miss Monica," the man at the lobby desk told her. "He says his name’s Andrew."
"Yes, tell him I’ll be there in a minute," she said though her voice lacked the normal joy she had when she was about to see him.
Nearly five minutes later, Andrew saw her leaving the elevator and from that moment he could say there was something wrong. She looked tired and the tender smile that usually greeted him didn’t appear when he took her hand and leaned to kiss her. "Are you alright, Monica?" he asked.
The Irish angel met his green eyes and saw there a deep worry that only matched the big love she always found there. "I’m ok, Andrew, just tired..." she chose to say. "Can we go have something to eat?"
"Whatever you want, angel," he replied knowing she wasn’t telling him all but thinking she might feel more comfortable to talk in another place.
He took her hand and they walked in an odd silence until they reached a café, three blocks away from Monica’s new office. "Do you want a coffee?" he asked trying to cheer her up.
"Yes, it’s ok," she said without enthusiasm. He opened the door for her and went to order their beverages while she took an empty table. Her distant sight and the non-happy tone in her voice made Andrew decide he wanted to know what wasn’t right. Hopefully, he thought, the coffee would help her open up to him.
"You haven’t told me how was your first day, baby," he offered gently, placing the big cup of moka latte in front of her.
"It was ok, I guess..." she said taking a sip. "Just what I could expect."
"Did you meet Jamal or the other employees?" he asked reaching to take her hand.
"Yes, I met him. As for the others..." but she didn’t complete her sentence. Looking at their intertwined fingers, the ‘deal’ the demons had proposed came to her mind as well as the fear of knowing they had placed their eyes on her beloved angel. She couldn’t let him get hurt...
"They were mean to you?"
"Mean?" she asked and chuckled quite sarcastically, for the first time looking at him. "I’ve known them long enough to know that’s how they’d act..."
"You have?" he asked not really understanding.
"They are Kathleen and Gregory, Jamal’s personal assistant and personal driver," she told him and didn’t miss the way his eyes flashed with anger and his hand held hers tighter.
"Kathleen and Gregory? Both of them?!" She just nodded. "Monica, you have to be careful!"
"I know!"
"Angel, I couldn’t bare if something happened to you..."
Monica bit her lower lip seeing the caring concern in Andrew’s expression and she knew she was right in what she had said before: other than God, there was nobody she loved more. And for that she couldn’t tell him anything, she couldn’t even mention the ‘deal’, nor that he would accept it. Unable to hold his sight, she freed her hand from his and took another sip of her coffee.
"I want you to be careful, Monica," Andrew said in a very serious tone.
"I can take..." she was about to answer when the cell phone she has gotten as an employee started to ring. She sighed heavily and took the phone. "Yes?" she asked almost angrily.
"Your new boss wants you in the council meeting with him tomorrow, Monica," Kathleen told her. "I’m sorry to tell you that I’m gonna be there too..."
Hearing her voice, Monica felt the color draining from her face, but at the last remark, she couldn’t help but exclaim a "What?" that made Andrew look at her worriedly.
"Until you don’t accept my deal, I’m not leaving you alone with Jamal, baby," the demon said. "You know the rule".
Thinking twice before replying and saying something that would make Andrew wonder about that ‘deal’, Monica stood up from the table and walked away as if she had trouble with the signal. "And I’ve told you I don’t make deals with you, Kathleen! Least of all if Andrew is involved!"
"Pity..." the demon answered. "I saw you walking out of the office. He really cares about you, you know? How will he feel when you tell him you failed your assignment? He may be the angel of death waiting for Jamal’s soul and will get nothing but seeing him go straight to hell... literally!" Kathleen laughed.
"I haven’t lost Jamal yet..." Monica spent some more minutes arguing with her ex co-worker, Kathleen sarcasm and certainty only making her more and more insecure and scared.
When she hung up the phone, she wanted nothing but run to Andrew’s arms and let him fix her self-confidence, but she froze in her place when she turned to walk back to their table and saw him laughing and chatting with a blond haired woman that was now using her chair. A sudden anger overcame her and in three quick long strides she was by the table again.
"You’ve gotta be kidding me!" the little angel heard Andrew telling the girl.
"No! I promise!" she laughed.
"Excuse me," Monica said with barely contained rage, "but I think you’re using my chair."
Her tone of voice surprised Andrew, who looked at her unable to believe that was the same Monica, while the woman looked at her somehow embarrassed. "I-I’m sorry?" she asked.
"I think you heard me. You’re using my chair," Monica repeated.
"Deborah, this is my girlfriend, Monica," Andrew said standing up and trying to cover the angel’s attitude.
"Oh, hi!" the blond girl said cheerfully.
"Hi," Monica replied coldly.
"Hum... Well, Andrew, I think I better leave you alone. It was nice talking to you!"
"Yes, I enjoyed it very much..." the blond angel said.
"Come by again soon," the girl told him.
"I will, thanks."
"Bye, Monica!"
The Irish angel didn’t answer as she was feeling a mix of anger and sadness rising in her chest and in her eyes in the form of tears that would appear in any moment.
Andrew saw his new friend going away before he turned to face Monica, whose eyes were already shining with tears. "Now, Monica, can you please explain me what’s the matter with you?!" he said in a low thought very angry voice.
"You still ask, Andrew?" she answered tumbling on her chair. "I had one of the worst days in my life as a caseworker and when I need you the most, you’re with another... woman!"
"Baby, I was just talking to her!" he argued. "You even weren’t here!"
"But you should’ve been waiting for me!"
"I was! And that you had a bad day doesn’t give you the right to be so rude! I wish I could help you more, but I’m not in your assignment!"
Arguing with Andrew was all the little angel needed to break down, so at his last words, tears started to cross her cheeks. "Ok, I know! Forget I even mentioned it!"
"Monica..."
"As I told you the day we met, I may be unlucky but certainly I’m not incompetent!"
The memory of that particular moment in a day he held dearly in his heart was like a punch on his stomach. Her tears and her outburst were nothing but the proof that whatever she had been through today had certainly taken its toll on the little angel. Regretting his hard recriminations, Andrew reached a hand to take hers. "Angel girl," he started with a doubting voice, "that’s unfair!"
"You didn’t mean it?" she exploded looking at him through her tears. "Yes, you did! I’m rude and boring and you had a good time with... Deborah. Well, stay then! I’ll see you later!" Monica said standing up quickly, grabbing her purse and leaving Andrew speechless in the lonely table.
***
PART 2 Bring back my smile
Monica couldn’t remember the last time when she had less wanted to go back to an assignment than this time with Jamal. Not only the previous day she had discovered her "co-workers" were two demons, but also she had had the worst fight ever with her beloved Andrew. On the top of all was the fact that she couldn’t put her heart at ease yet as she missed the angel of death more than anything but she felt equally angry when she remembered him laughing and chatting with that... Deborah.
Weakly she walked from the elevator to her desk, mentally praying for her boss to arrive late. She left her purse in a drawer and took a seat. She then remembered the payment orders Jamal had asked her for and started to check for them on the papers scattered in front of her. Twenty minutes later she had gone through all the papers three times, each one finding she had missed new orders, until she finally left them over the desk and hide her face between her hands.
"You had a bad night, Mony?" Kathleen’s shrill voice made her snap back to reality.
"Kathleen..." she murmured.
"What a face you have dear! Couldn’t sleep all night? Oh, no, don’t tell me! Andrew!" The demon shook her head. "Men! One way or another they manage to steal your sleeping!" she laughed.
The little angel was taking deep rapid breaths to try to calm herself but her patience was growing thinner. "What do you want, Kathleen?"
"Hey! Is that a way to say hi to an old friend?" the demon asked.
"Old friend?" Jamal asked coming closer to them. "You didn’t tell me you knew each other!"
"Uh... oh... Yes!" Kathleen stuttered. "Monica and I worked together some time ago."
"Used to," the little angel mumbled.
"Where?" Jamal asked. Both Kathleen and Monica looked at each other like wanting the other to reply. Only then the man noticed the angel’s upset face. "Monica, are you ok?"
The little angel lowered her face so he couldn’t meet her eyes. "Yes, Jamal, I’ll be ok."
"Poor Monica was telling me what you, men do us," Kathleen intervened and walked sexily towards her ‘boss’. Wrapping her arms around one of his, she added, "and yet... we seem not to know how to live without you!"
"You, women are the ones that make us suffer!" Jamal replied following his assistant game. But when he looked at his new secretary again, something made him felt somehow as miserable as she looked. "You don’t look fine, Monica. Why don’t you take a break?"
"I haven’t finished with the payment orders you asked me..."
"That can wait. Take a couple of hours. Go have a coffee or something. I don’t want to see you here until 11," the man ordered before he got into his office.
*
Just as the same time there was another angel that wasn’t doing any better. Andrew walked in a park until a bench and took a seat on it, desperately rubbing his face with his hands.
"Andrew..." Sam greeted his former charge appearing by his side.
"Sam..." the blond angel responded.
"I guess I don’t have to ask how are you doing. Your face speaks volumes."
"What can I say, Sam?" the blond angel replied in a defeated tone.
"You can start by telling me what happened with Monica that has you this down," the dark skinned angel surprised the younger one.
"How... How did you know about...?"
"About you and Monica?" Sam smiled. "Son, whoever has seen you two together can easily guess that the only reason for such a face is that you had problems with that sweet Irish angel! What happened?"
"We had an argument, Sam. I wanted to help her with her assignment but she took it the wrong way and thought I didn’t consider her capable enough to handle it by herself..."
"You do know this is a specially hard assignment, don’t you, Andrew?"
"Yes, I do, Sam! Tess told me, and Monica mentioned Kathleen and Gregory are there too! I know this is difficult!" the blond angel answered almost angrily and stood up quickly. "I want to help her! There’s nothing I want more!"
"Ease, Andrew, you don’t have to convince me! I know you want to help her, but pushing her is not the best way," the supervisor said.
"You know her, Sam! She thinks she can do it all and sometimes she’s too stubborn to accept help!"
"Did you hear yourself, Andrew?" Sam stopped the blond angel.
Andrew sighed heavily and took a seat again. "I’m sorry but she’s stubborn sometimes."
"I know she is. That’s why the Father put Tess as her supervisor an not anyone else. And that’s why she’s been chosen to help Jamal this time. I know you want to help her but this is not the way."
Andrew met Sam’s gaze and the older angel could see in his green eyes how clueless he felt her. "I love her more than my life, Sam. All I want is her safe and happy and... and with me."
Sam placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "I told Tess you’d be her biggest weakness this time, but don’t be her heaviest burden too, Andrew. That much she couldn’t bear it..."
The blond angel of death saw him walking away, not sure of what he had told him. All he was sure of was that his heart felt so heavy that he didn’t want but to fix things with his beloved Irish friend.
***
"Are you feeling any better, Monica?" Jamal asked the little angel that day in the afternoon. They had just finished to discuss the next meeting agenda.
Monica smiled weakly though she felt grateful with him. "Yes, Jamal, thank you. I was going to ask you if you wanted me to stay late to pay the hours you gave me in the morning..."
"No, no, it’s not necessary," Jamal replied and it even surprised himself. With another secretary he would have made her stay. "The day was quite calm and you finished your job, you don’t have to stay," he tried to cover.
"Thank you," Monica replied shyly and walked out.
Jamal saw her go and something deep in his heart started to reborn after long years of being buried and forgotten.
***
The coldness of the small waves reaching her bare feet couldn’t take out of her reverie the little angel that walked along the beach of her temporary home. Where just a couple of days before she had observed the sunset in the arms of the angel she loved the most, now she was distractedly looking at how the waves erased the traces her feet had left on the sand. All in this assignment felt for her too hard to control and now she felt even weaker as she was mad at the one that always gave her strength.
She longed to have him with her but she didn’t know how to talk to him when her heart felt so troubled that she couldn’t concentrate on one single thing as her assignment. Finally she stopped her pacing and lifted her head in a prayer. "Father, please, let him know I love him," she murmured and closed her eyes feeling how a lonely tear crossed her cheek.
"And I love you, Monica," Andrew’s soothing voice startled her just the same as his hand on her shoulder. "There are not enough words to make you see how much..."
Monica turned to meet his green loving eyes shinning with the last rays of the sun. Looking at him made her remember how badly she wanted him, but also made her anger rise again, anger at feeling betrayed because it seemed to her he was not trusting her. "Andrew..." the little angel whispered.
"Sweetheart, I’m so sorry..." he murmured touching her forehead with his. "I don’t know what I did wrong but it feels so bad to be away from you..."
"Why can’t you trust me with a hard assignment, Andrew?" Her voice was still low but there was a clear note of resentment on it. "I’ve learned through the years..."
"I know, baby, I know," the blond angel offered. "It’s not that I don’t trust you..."
"You made me feel like a silly angel, Andrew! If you trusted me, you wouldn’t make me feel that way!" Monica argued.
He placed his strong hands on her shoulders and ran them down her arms and up again. "Monica, I trust you to handle the hardest assignment, to reach the more closed heart and open it up to God but..."
"No ‘buts’ Andrew!" she started to feel angry again.
"I trust you as an angel, Monica!" he raised his voice a little to force her to listen. "It’s me without you whom I can’t trust! Can’t you see it, baby? Me asking you to be careful, to let me help even if I’m not officially assigned to your case, it’s my way to beg you to come back to me! I can’t even fathom a day without you, Monica! You’re every second of my very life! I’m nothing without you!"
Along with the green fire she could see in his eyes, she recognized that he was telling her nothing but the truth. Deep in her heart she had always known what he was telling her, and more than once she had felt that fierce love too, but now she was seeing it in his eyes. The deep unending love he felt for her. No doubts, no lies.
"You’re my entire world too, Andrew. I told you so..." she replied unable to take her eyes away from his. "I always want to go back to you."
"And I pray the Father for you to do it every day, baby. And today I prayed more than ever."
"I’m back today..." Monica murmured after a long minute. She placed a hand on his cheek and stroked it gently.
"Thanks God," Andrew whispered and leaned down to brush her lips with his.
What started like a very light kiss, little by little became more demanding and passionate as both angels released their troubled hearts in that kiss. Long minutes passed until a sudden cold gust of wind made Monica shiver. Andrew felt that and wrapped his arms protectively around her naked arms. "Let’s go back to the house, baby," he said kissing the top of her head and then wrapped his arm around her waist to guide her into the comfortable living room.
***
Chapter 3
If I should stay... but I’ll go...
Monica sighed when she found herself in front of Donald’s, the café where she and Andrew had been in two days before.
"The name certainly reminds me of the duck but other than that there’s nothing more worth looking at!" Tess told her charge appearing by her side. "Since when you doubt before getting into a café, Miss Wings?"
"Since I behaved badly with one of the waitresses," the Irish angel explained.
"I see..." the older angel murmured.
"I think now I understand why it is so difficult for humans to apologize..."
"I don’t want to remind you that you’re not exactly human and that human weaknesses are not an excuse for you, Monica."
"I know, Tess..." the little angel sighed. "Would you like to have a cup of tea? I’m buying..."
The supervisor followed her charge inside and to a table. As soon as she saw her, Deborah recognized Monica, and sharing a glance with her co-worker, the blond girl walked to offer them the menus. "Hi," she greeted automatically, "do you want coffee?"
"No, thanks, I prefer a tea..." Tess told her.
"I do take the coffee," Monica said and waited until Deborah filled the cup. "And... hum... Deborah, I really want to apologize. My behavior the other day was completely out of order. I had had a terrible day at work and I know you have nothing to do with that but..."
"But you thought I was trying to hit on your boyfriend," the girl stated still a little angry. That piece of news made Tess turn to see Monica rising an eyebrow as demanding an explanation.
"No!" Monica exclaimed. "Not exactly... In any case, I didn’t have the right to be so rude and I’m really sorry."
For a long second, there was an uncomfortable silence. "It’s ok," Deborah finally said. "I hope you and Andrew can fix things too. Here are your menus. I’ll come back to pick up your order."
Once Deborah was gone, Tess faced her young charge. "Just exactly what did you tell that girl, Miss Wings?" Finding her coffee suddenly too interesting, Monica lowered her gaze and told her supervisor what had happened. "Well, well... You’re right in finding it hard to apologize... Is it possible to know what bit you?"
"Not what... who," Monica answered. "Kathleen and Gregory are in my assignment too, Tess! They swear I won’t reach Jamal’s heart! Kathleen even suggested a deal!"
"A deal?!" the dark skinned angel asked.
"Andrew’s soul instead of Jamal’s!" Seeing the shocked face of the supervisor, the Irish angel continued. "You see now? How could I still be in a good mood after a day like that? I was confused and angry and scared for him! And when I was telling him this, he started to chat with an stranger as if he didn’t care about my worries!"
"Angel girl, you know better than that! You know that angel boy loves you more than his own life! Of course he cares about your worries!" Tess said taking her hand. "You know how the demons work. They use your fears to confuse you and to make you weak."
"They certainly do that too well..." Monica murmured wiping a tear away.
"I now understand why Sam told me Andrew could be your biggest weakness..." Reading the confusion in her charge’s eyes, she explained. "Sam told me that the day he explained me what your assignment was. Baby, please, remember what you’ve learned from past experiences with evil! Don’t follow their game and don’t make deals with them or they’ll fool you easily. I wish you didn’t have to do this, baby, but the Father had His reasons to give you this assignment. I’ll pray for you everyday..."
"Are you going somewhere, Tess?" Monica asked feeling a farewell tone in her supervisor’s voice.
"Not exactly but I’m afraid I won’t be able to see you often. With you dealing with this assignment, there are many other shorter cases assigned to younger caseworkers and I need to check on them. Like Gloria... you know you can’t leave her and her big mouth alone for so long..."
Monica chuckled a little at remembering how Tess was always complaining about Gloria and her inexperienced way of saying some things. "I’m gonna miss you, Tess..."
"I’ll try to come soon, baby," the supervisor said squeezing her hands. "Please, take care and don’t lose your north, ok? Don’t let them make you weak..."
***
"Hello, baby," Andrew murmured at Monica’s ear, surprising her by sneaking an arm around her waist while she was heading to her office.
"What...? Oh, Andrew!" she answered and threw her arms around his neck. "What are you doing here?"
"Well... I thought I could catch you before you started to work and that I could at least kiss you good morning..." He then kissed her and hugged her when they parted.
"Hum... I got to go..." she said releasing him. She had seen Jamal’s limousine arriving at the front of the building, Gregory quickly opening the door for the man and Kathleen.
Andrew looked at them briefly and gave her a quick peck. "Take care, ok? I’ll see you at night at home..."
Monica nodded and sighed deeply before she walked towards her ‘boss’.
Jamal saw the two angels pecking and ignored them, hurrying his pace towards the building. "Hello, Mony!" Kathleen greeted her sarcastically. "You worked things with your blond friend, huh?"
"None of your business, Kathleen..." she replied coldly and tried to keep on walking but Kathleen grabbed her arm and made her stop.
"Wrong answer, sweetheart!" the demon answered madly. "See? It is my business as your friend’s soul is highly tempting!"
Both the demon and the angel turned and Monica’s heart started to beat wildly when she saw Andrew crossing the streets, hands in his pockets unaware of anything around. As in slow motion, she saw how Gregory accelerated the limousine towards him...
"NO!" the little angel shouted.
"Watch out!" someone shouted as well and Andrew reacted on time to avoid the vehicle; the last thing he saw was the car going away...
Monica couldn’t breath until she saw how the car missed Andrew for barely a couple of feet. "Why?!" she turned to face Kathleen, her eyes shining with angry and scared tears. "I told you to leave him alone!" She then ran to Andrew who was now surrounded by some people who were asking him if he was ok.
As soon as he saw Monica coming, he opened his arms to receive her. "Shh... I’m ok, angel."
Sobbing, face buried against his chest, the little angel murmured, "I was so scared! He could have killed you!"
Seeing the blond guy was in one piece and sensing they needed to be alone, people around them kept on walking and went back to their occupations. Some minutes later, when he felt Monica was much calmer, Andrew pulled away and cupping her face made her look at him. "Monica, please promise me you’ll be very careful. I’m fine but worried about what they could try to do to you..."
"He wanted to hit you, Andrew!" she said, new tears forming in her eyes.
"But he didn’t!" the angel of death told her firmly. "I’m sure he wanted to shake you and they did! Now you have to be calm to go back there! Remember you can not look weak in front of them!"
"I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle this..."
"Yes, you will!" he kissed her forehead. "You’re the best and God chose you for a reason! They will try to make you mad and scared, but as much as you let them do that, they will take you away from your assignment! I’m ok, I’ll be twice careful since this moment, but you have to keep your mind on your assignment... not in me."
Looking directly into his green eyes, Monica saw how deep his love for her was and how he would be by her side, no matter what. "I’ll try."
"Good. Now go back to work. I have to be with an old woman in ten minutes. I’ll see you at night." He bent his head to give her a light kiss and let her go.
***
"You look much better today," Jamal told Monica that day in the afternoon when they were in his office. "You’re still worried but you look definitely better..."
"I-I... Yes," Monica stuttered.
"I saw you in the morning with this blond guy... Your boyfriend, I presume..." the man ventured. "That was what was wrong yesterday?"
Monica looked at him for a second and then lowered her face. "Yes," she managed to murmur.
For a long moment, Jamal said nothing. He just looked at his secretary from head to toe sighing deeply once or twice. "There was a time when I was like you, you know," he said and Monica met his gaze again. "Love ruled my life. I was sad or happy according to what love had in mind for me."
Sensing this was perhaps a way to start her trip to the man’s soul, the angel tried to know more. "Have you ever been in love, Jamal?"
The man met her brown eyes and Monica could read a story of suffering that was still fresh. "Yes, once," he said never breaking her sight. "She was an angel for me! She could’ve asked me anything in this world! My life itself wouldn’t have been enough for me to give her!"
"And what happened? Did you get married?"
The man chuckled sarcastically. "I was in love like a fool! Like an idiot is better to say! She left me! She said I was a poor nobody and she deserved better. I never saw her again... but I swore I would never be a poor nobody!"
Little by little, Monica had been understanding Jamal’s life as if she was turning upwards the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle: the man had been hurt and his hunger for money and power was nothing but his way to defend himself from pain and humiliation. "Did you ever fall in love again?" she continued to ask.
"Love is a waste of time and money, Monica!"
"I beg to differ..."
"Naïve," the man chuckled again.
"No, Jamal, I’m not naïve... This world was made with love and living without love is not living..."
Jamal’s mouth curled in a mocking smile and although he had a thousand arguments to fight Monica’s, he somehow couldn’t think on the exact one. Then a knock on the door interrupted them and Kathleen and Gregory went in.
"Ready to call this a day?" the female demon asked. "What were you talking about?"
"We were discussing love," Jamal replied and Kathleen didn’t miss the sudden spark of regret in his dark eyes. "But we have enough for a day. It’s late, and I’m tired and hungry. Gregory we’ll go in five minutes. Monica, go get your things. We’ll drive you home..."
"Oh, it’s not necessary..." the angel tried to say.
"I said we are driving you home. So go get your things," Jamal concluded.
*
Kathleen and Gregory followed Monica out of Jamal’s office and as soon as they were in the hall, the female demon faced the angel. "Just exactly what were you doing, Monica?! Didn’t you understand when I told you to give him up?!"
"I can’t, Kathleen. He’s my assignment," she tried to sound calm and confident. "God sent me to save him and that’s what I’m going to do."
Gregory chuckled sarcastically. "You think you’ll do it, don’t you little angel? Guess what? You’re wrong! That’s why we are here!"
"He’s not lost! Not if I can help him!"
"You don’t get it, right?" Kathleen interrupted her. "You shouldn’t help him! He sold his soul to the Devil and he will go to him!"
"I won’t let that happen!"
"You will! Or we are taking Andrew instead!" the female demon said and saw how horror appeared on Monica’s face.
"No..." she answered weakly. "You can’t! Leave him alone!"
"What happen this morning wasn’t enough proof that we will take him, little angel?" Gregory added. "I missed him this time because I was just showing you... and him. But next time, you won’t shout loud enough!"
"Andrew is not part of this!" Monica had promised him and Tess she wouldn’t let them make her weak, but this was too much. She couldn’t bear to see him suffer. How could she make the demons stay away from him?
Kathleen seemed to be reading the angel’s expression as what she said next made perfect sense with Monica’s thoughts. "There’s a way for you to save him, Mony. I promise we won’t touch one of his blond strands if..."
"If?" the angel asked, her resistance destroyed now.
"...if you break him up."
Monica’s heart broke at the mere thought, still her head was spinning and she seemed not to think properly. "W-what?!"
"See... Pain is a pleasure for us as well as torture. You can choose for him, pain or torture," Gregory said wrapping an arm around her shoulders that the angel quickly got rid of. "And don’t think we can’t hurt him! To make him fall... we just would have to corner him in a high place and take him unaware..."
"I think you still remember when the master told you how to do it in the desert, right?" Kathleen asked.
The Devil’s voice was still clear in Monica’s mind, telling her to climb to a high cliff, urging her to jump... ‘I’ll be waiting to catch you...’
"...once he’s falling we’ll catch him and have him for the rest of eternity..." Kathleen added.
All of a sudden, the situation hit her: she would be losing him one way or another. Her only option was to spare him from physical pain, torture and... and eternity in Hell. "Don’t hurt him..." she murmured weakly.
"Well! She thinks!" Gregory mocked her.
"I’ll tell him to go but don’t hurt him..." she pleaded, a tear rolling down her cheek.
"When?" Gregory asked.
"You have three days, Monica," Kathleen stated. "We won’t wait more than three days."
***
Chapter 4
Can’t live (if living is without you)
The trip back to Monica’s house was a very quiet one as the little angel didn’t talk much except to reply to the occasional questions of her ‘boss’ and to give Gregory directions to arrive. When the male demon stopped the car in front of Monica’s door, they noticed Andrew was opening it, a big bouquet of roses in his hands.
"Looks like we spoiled a surprise," Jamal commented. "See you tomorrow, Monica."
"T-thank you, Jamal," the little angel replied.
"Remember what we talked about, dear," Kathleen added and all Monica could do was to nod in understanding.
"What?" the man asked noticing his secretary nervousness.
"Women talking!" Kathleen covered. "I gave Monica some advice regarding men!"
Monica chose not to say anything as she got out of the limousine, just murmuring a "See you tomorrow."
Andrew had just opened the door when he noticed Monica coming to him. He smiled and offered her the roses. "These are for you," he murmured and stroked her cheek before pulling her for a kiss.
"Andrew... you didn’t have to," Monica murmured smelling at the blossoms. But although she was pleased with his gesture, her stomach was tied in knots knowing he was in danger.
Gregory took a minute to start the limousine again, allowing Jamal and Kathleen to see the two angels kissing.
"Let’s go inside," Monica suggested and Andrew couldn’t avoid to feel her a little nervous.
"How was your day?" the blond angel asked reaching to hold her from behind when she was going to set the flowers over the table. He moved her hair to a side to uncover her neck and kissed it lovingly.
Monica knew she was lost the moment his lips touched her skin. She couldn’t resist him, nor that she wanted to. Bending her head to a side so he could have a better access, she closed her eyes and moaned quietly. "So, how was your day, baby? You didn’t answer," Andrew insisted.
Monica turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Let’s not talk about it, please," she murmured almost touching his lips. "I just want to be with you tonight." She then crossed the small distance and kissed him, letting him to control the kiss at his own will.
Hours later, not even the monotonous sound of crickets could make Monica sleep. Andrew was fast asleep by her side, one of his arms wrapped lovingly around her waist, the other serving her as a pillow. She was drinking in his features, stroking his cheek with a feather like touch. Her hand descended to his bare chest and rested over his heart, his steady heartbeat under her palm. "How am I supposed to do it?" she murmured in a barely audible whisper. "I can’t live if living is without you, Andrew." She continued to look at him, unaware of the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.
***
Monica knew she couldn’t deceive Andrew much longer. That morning he had noticed she had cried during the night and although he had prepared her favorite breakfast, she hadn’t been able to eat but two or three tastes. Arguing she would be late for work, she had managed to convince him that they would talk in the afternoon, and that deadline was all that was in her mind during the morning, until people at the office started to talk about a special report on TV.
"Have you seen the news?" Kathleen asked getting into Jamal’s office when he was dictating a letter to Monica. "There’s a man trapped at the top of the Golden Gate!" The demon turned on the TV in the office and both the man and the angel came closer.
A small multitude had gathered by the shore of the beach and on the highway right by the base of the tower. They were all looking upwards towards the very top of the main tower, 746 feet away from the water.
"Hey, look, that’s Gregory!" Jamal exclaimed when he recognized his driver." He was supposed to go get my documents to the bank, not witnessing a stupid worker trapped!" the man complained although his amused smile was saying he was having a good time watching his worker on TV.
But Monica’s heart had started to beat faster when Jamal saw Gregory there fore she knew who had to be at the top with the trapped man. She turned to see Kathleen and the proud smile in the demon’s face proved her to be right. Andrew had to be there... Gregory was there menacing to catch him if he by any chance could fall. The camera shot the man at the top by the time a helicopter arrived to the place and a rescue man was descended to the tower. The little angel recognized him immediately and joining her hands, she prayed silently, her eyes fixed on the screen.
A collective "Oooh!" made her heart jump when Andrew seemed to lose his balance on the basket where he was seating. For a long minute, the blond angel was practically hanging from the basket until he could seat safely again. Two big tears where shinning at the brink of her eyes until they ran free after the man was seating by Andrew’s side and they were lifted to the helicopter.
Jamal celebrated the end of the incident with a joyous expression as if he had just seen a football match. "What a rescue, huh? W-what’s up?" he asked when he saw how pale Monica was and how she was wiping her tears away.
"I-I... Nothing," the Irish angel said still standing where she had seen all the rescue.
"Oh, come on, Monica, you’re impressed!" the man said walking to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders squeezing her gently. "Both are ok! They’ll go back to have dinner with their families tonight and we’ll make Gregory tell us every detail as soon as he’s here!"
She nodded and freed herself from his embrace. "I-I’ll go get the letters typed," she said and walked out of the office.
"Fun is over. I’ll go back to work too," Kathleen told the man and followed the angel. Once she had closed the office door, she grabbed Monica’s arm and made her turn. "See? It ca be so, so easy. Next time, I promise Andrew will not be that lucky, dear!"
"You can’t hurt him! He’s an angel and God is watching over him!" Monica tried to defend himself.
"Oh, yes, for sure! But accidents happen all the time, honey, and sometimes even angels can’t save themselves..." the demon added leaving the angel shaking with fear behind her desk.
***
For the 100th time in the night, Monica turned to see the cuckoo clock over the fake chimney in the living room. Andrew had to be there already, he was supposed to arrive two hours ago. Under other circumstances she wouldn’t be that worried, knowing he might have been called in assignment. But since this morning she couldn’t just seat and wait for him to arrive as she knew he was in danger. She walked back to the kitchen and turned on the radio, trying to find a way to get distracted.
"If you’re just joining us now, we’re giving a special report about a fire in a building in Lombard Street..." Monica started to pay special attention to the report. Lombard street was four or five blocks away from her house. "What a day, guys! First the worker trapped at the Golden Gate and now this! Tina McPherson is our special reporter sent to the place. Tina what do you have there?"
The voice of the woman was barely audible with the sound of the sirens of ambulances and firemen trucks that were obviously arriving there. "Well, good night, San Francisco. We are at Lombard street where a fire started in an apartment building about two hours ago. It started apparently by the sixth floor and the fire has already consumed all the five upper floors. Most of the people that lived here is out of the building, but we’re sorry to inform you that there’s a pregnant woman trapped at the last floor. Due to her advanced condition, she couldn’t get out fast enough and she also can’t jump through the window where firemen would try to catch her. They are waiting for a volunteer to reach her with a telescopic ladder but time is an issue here..."
"Oh, no, Father, please!" Monica barely murmured before she turned the radio off and ran towards the zone of the disaster. She could feel in her heart that Andrew was there, and if he was going to be the volunteer... only God could help him to be safe.
What she had imagined while listening to the radio was nothing compared to what she found at the place. Half on her way there, she could already see the orange shining of the flames over the roofs of the high buildings. No less than ten firemen trucks were lined, hoses sending thousands of gallons of water towards the immense flames that nearly devoured the building and were menacing to spread to the next ones. The evacuated people remained near by, seeing how their houses all but disappeared behind the flames. And at the very top, in a small window there was the slim figure of a woman.
"Poor her! Do you think someone will help her? I’m sorry for her child..." a voice said by Monica’s side and the angel turned immediately to see Kathleen standing by her side.
"What are you doing here?!" Monica asked with a mix of fix and anger.
"Don’t you think we did a good job here?"
"YOU?!" the angel asked unable to believe it. "But why?! All these people and that woman!"
"Because... I have to fight for a soul that belong to us!" the demon replied facing Monica with a clear tone of challenge in her voice. "And if I don’t get him tonight, at least I can get the one of a really good angel..."
"No... no! I told you to leave him alone!" Monica shouted.
"The choice is in your hands! I want Jamal’s soul and I’ll get it! TO save your stupid beloved angel is all up to you!"
The little angel kept silence for a minute knowing what the demon’s game was: to make her weak so she couldn’t fight for Jamal’s soul properly. If they were so interested in the man’s soul it had to be because he was special. Somewhere under the hard, cold cover, there had to be something really good, worth enough for the demons to fight so much for him. She couldn’t give up on him, he was her assignment and the was God’s child. The Father had trusted her with him. Her only option was to give up on Andrew so she could keep him safe, even if her heart would break in pieces.
"Look, they are going for her!" someone shouted among the crowd. Monica looked upwards and recognized Andrew at the top of the mechanic ladder, another man behind him.
"Oh, Father, please, help them..." the little angel prayed.
"Oh, there is someone to help him, dear, don’t worry," Kathleen told her pointing at the man behind him. Gregory.
Monica’s heart started to beat wildly and everything around her seemed to disappear. It was only Andrew, the woman and Gregory. No more the shouting, the heat or the people around. Every foot the ladder went up, fear grew up in her heart, making her feet feel like made in lead and her legs in jelly. She couldn’t move, couldn’t think about anything but the blond angel and his safety. Like in slow motion, she saw him reaching the window, moving to get into the burning apartment and helping the woman very carefully to seat on the ladder. Gregory was by her side now, but when the blond angel was about to climb back to the ladder too, it suddenly moved leaving him hanging from the window frame. His shout of pain when he touched the hot metal made its way directly to Monica’s heart. There was no way in which he could resist. The frame must’ve been almost melting. He would release it. He would fall. And Kathleen would be there to catch him and take him with them...
After a second that seemed like an eternity for her, Monica saw Kathleen smiling again at her before she started to walk towards the building. The little angel lifted her face and saw how Andrew’s hands finally released their grip on the frame and he started to fall...
***
Chapter 5
Let’s just kiss and say good bye
"Tonight!" Monica shouted loudly and Kathleen turned to see her. The both the angel and the demon looked at Andrew and how a safety net was miraculously extended to catch him before he hit the ground. Suddenly sound came back to Monica’s conscience and the murmurs of people around her let her know he was safe.
People had mover forward, trying to catch a glance at the firemen and at the man that had just fallen, but the angel couldn’t move. Tonight. One word had decided her destiny and that understanding was overwhelming. Her breath caught in her throat and burst in a pain-freeing sob. She started to cry with pain invading her heart. Shaking with the efforts of her sobs, her legs grew weak and she felt on her knees, her trembling hands moving to cover her face. "Father, forgive me, please," she whispered. "Andrew, I’m so sorry, I’m so, so sorry..."
***
Monica saw how an ambulance took the woman away as soon as possible and how Andrew was taken to another one so his hands could be treated properly. For a second her brown eyes met his and she started to ask herself how she would be able to ask him not to see her anymore when all her being impelled her to run to him and hold him tightly.
Feeling weak and defeated, she started to walk back to her house, her heart already heavy with sorrow. What had taken no more than ten minutes when she rushed to see Andrew, became almost an hour walk back. The air was quite chill now but she couldn’t feel it; it was as if her body was denying any sensation but the sharp pain in her heart. Weary, she walked to the living room not turning the lights on and let herself fall on the couch, her tears a continuos flood that seemed not to end.
She lost the track of time and only the sound of the door being opened made her look at the clock. Almost 11.30 p.m. Half an hour was all the time she had.
"Monica?" Andrew’s voice made her heart beat even faster. She could clearly hear the note of extreme exhaustion on it. How she’d like to hold him tight and spend the rest of the night seeing him sleep to recover from such an experience, but it was not an option anymore. She still couldn’t believe she had been capable of making a deal with a demon but now she couldn’t risk to see if they would fulfill their promise. Not when Andrew was involved.
The tinniest sob was the only reply the blond angel got from Monica, but it was enough for him to run to the couch and gather her in his arms. "Sshh... I’m here, baby, safe and sound." He combed her hair tenderly, yet it made him wince in pain for his burned palms.
Automatically, Monica had wrapped her arms around his waist but a minute later she pulled away. She didn’t miss the confused look on Andrew’s face, yet she decided to cover by examining his hands. "You’re hurt," she sobbed again, seeing how red his palms were even when he had been wearing special gloves.
"I’m okay," he stated.
"You are not!" she burst in tears again and stood up quickly. "You are hurt! And it could’ve been worse! Had you fallen, you would be now in h..." she couldn’t finish the sentence as her crying became more desperate.
"Monica, try to calm down!" he said reaching to take her arm to make her turn. "I’m okay. It was just a hard assignment..."
"No, no, it wasn’t!" she yelled. "This is all my fault!"
"Monica, what nonsense..." he tried to argue.
"No! It is not nonsense, Andrew! I’m risking your life and I can’t let it happen!"
"Risk my life? Monica, I’ve stood in high places more times than I can possibly count, you know it! And this..." he extended his palms, "... if I don’t recall bad you’ve been shot in assignment! What difference does it make?"
"The difference that it wasn’t you! That I didn’t have to worry for the one I love the most, but only about my own assignment! I can’t keep on doing this anymore, Andrew..." She looked at him directly on the eyes and he couldn’t believe the coldness he was seeing in her face.
"What?" he asked not daring to believe what he feared.
"I can’t keep on worrying about you and my assignment at the same time anymore," she stated as firmly as she could. She knew she had to do this, use that fear to make him go without actually having to lie to him or she knew she’d be sent to God’s country like she had been once before. The hurt look in his face was making it more difficult but she was determined.
"That’s so selfish..." the angel of death murmured, sure there had to be an explanation.
"Selfish?! You don’t have a clue, Andrew..."
"Then give it to me, Monica, ‘cause there’s no other way I can understand what you are telling me!" he yelled, his hand grabbing her chin to force her to see him, his green eyes sparkling like set on fire.
"Please, Andrew, you’re not making this any easy..." she murmured through the tears that were now running freely over her cheeks.
"Making what easy?!"
"Asking you to leave and not come back anymore!" she yelled back knowing that she had to shout it or she would never say it.
Andrew released her and gave a couple steps back, shocked by what he had heard. "Leave? Leave you alone forever?"
The Irish angel couldn’t answer. She just lowered her head, her sobs talking for her.
"You-you don’t want me anymore, Monica?" the blond angel stuttered. "You don’t love me anymore?"
"I do... I love you..." she whispered between sobs.
"No, you don’t! Love doesn't hide. It stays and fights. It goes the distance, remember? You used to say that!" he grabbed her arm quite violently.
"I can’t fight anymore, Andrew! I just can’t!"
"Then you never loved me as you said!" he stated in the most hurting tone.
She couldn’t be prepared to face him doubting her love and in between the pain in her heart, she felt a pent up anger at his words. "Oh, you can’t doubt my love for you, Andrew! What we shared, what we lived together, what I gave you was proof enough that I love you!"
"Then why are you asking me to leave?!"
"I told you! I’m risking your life and I can’t let it happen! Believe me! You’ll be better away from me! Please, Andrew, go away! Go away and never try to come back to me!"
He turned his back at her for a moment like thinking, and when he turned around, he said, "I won’t go anywhere unless you prove me you loved me! You’re an angel, you can’t lie! I don’t understand why you want me to go unless it means you never loved me!"
Monica read his eyes for a second, sensing he was serious. But she had to make him go in less than ten minutes. Yes, her heart was falling apart, but the mere thought of him being caught by the demons was enough for her to want to carry on in protecting him. There was only one way to convince him. Taking him by surprise, she placed both her hands on his cheeks pulling him down for the most passionate, almost lustful kiss she had ever given him.
Forcefully she opened his mouth and deepened the kiss while his strong hands remained on her waist pressing her against him. Their lungs were about to burst but none wanted to pull apart. It was Monica the one that finally let him go. "I love you," she said freeing herself from his embrace, panting heavily to catch her breath. She walked to the door and opened it. "Now, please, go."
Andrew still remained in his place for a couple of seconds, fighting against this reality. Feeling betrayed and defeated, he walked to the door where he stopped to look at Monica again. When she lowered her face, he knew he couldn’t argue and walked out slowly before disappearing in the thin air.
***
Chapter 6
Al límite de la desolación (To the limit of desolation)
Monica leaned against the door as she closed it, her legs suddenly growing weak. She let herself fall to the floor, where she started to cry hopelessly again, holding her knees tightly trying to ease her pain.
"I hope you know what you’re doing, Monica," Sam’s sweet voice startled her after what seemed hours to her.
"S-Sam?" she stuttered seeing the angel crouching at her side.
"Do you think that was the best way to protect him?"
"Do-do you know about...?" the little angel asked nervously.
"Enough to know your reasons... and to question them," the dark skinned angel said helping her stand and walking her to the couch.
"They were going to take him, Sam! I couldn’t let that happen! I didn’t see another way! There wasn’t another way to...!"
"Ease, Monica, ease!" the angel of angels said stroking her hair. "I’m not here to take you to God’s country if that’s what you fear, though I have to warn you you’re standing on thin ice here. True, you didn’t lie to Andrew but it will take you a lot not to do it in the future, and you do know you can even lose your angelic status for lying..."
"I know..." she murmured in a very low voice, her tears still sliding down. "But if I did it to protect him, I’d do it, Sam... That much I love him."
"I won’t ask you why you did this. Angels have free will too and you’ve just used yours. Yes, you hurt Andrew, you’re hurting too and so is the Father for seeing you two apart, but He gave you free will as I say, so... I just hope you have enough strength to keep on working in your assignment ‘cause I wouldn’t know who to send if you couldn’t finish this." He met her teary brown eyes and knew she was perfectly aware of her responsibility. It really made his heart ache: see her suffering so much and still wanting to do God’s work. "Take care, Monica," Sam said kissing her temple in a fatherly manner, "and be strong."
***
Andrew walked to a bench in a park and took a seat heavily. Looking upwards after some minutes he spoke, "Please, help me. I can’t understand what’s going on. I love her, You know that, but she... I cannot think about anything else! I don’t know what to do anymore! Please, Father!"
"I’m glad your asking for guidance, Andrew..." Sam said appearing right beside the angel. "The Father does think you need help... and I’m getting used to come to meet you on this bench."
"Do you know what happened, Sam?" Seeing the dark skinned angel nodding, Andrew kept on, "And can you tell me why? She has to have a reason! We were just fine yesterday!"
"She has a reason, yes, but it doesn’t mean what she’s done is ok..."
"Sam, you need to talk to her! Tell her that this cannot happen!"
"No, Andrew, I can’t. This is not an assignment. These are your lives and the Father cannot order her what to do. When He gave you two the freedom to love each other the way you do, He knew you could be hurt and you knew that too. Angels have free will and free will has some risks..."
"I know... It’s just that it hurts..." the blond angel said in a very low voice, his eyes bright with tears. "It hurts so much..."
"I know it hurts, Andrew, that’s why I’m here. I’m sorry about this, but I have to inform you that you’ll be taking a break from your duties..."
"What?!" Andrew replied not able to believe it.
"The Father feels you’re too tied to you pain to work properly, so you won’t get assigned for a while..."
"Sam, no!"
The older angel stood up. "It’s not permanent, calm down! You’ll be called again at the exact moment, but in the meantime you have to think about your situation and your attitude with Monica. You’re seeing things from your point of view and you have to see hers too."
"How if I can’t understand her, Sam? I’ve asked her about this but she doesn’t tell me!"
"Sometimes, Andrew, a single gesture talks more than a thousand words... Don’t let pain blind you..."
The younger angel saw him disappear and he remained by the bench, not knowing what to think anymore. He had lost Monica and he had been put to a rest in his work, and all that was supposed to have a reason he had to understand?
***
If Andrew wasn’t doing fine, needless to say Monica wasn’t doing any better. She hadn’t been able to sleep at all during the night, and she had had to get dressed and ready for work as it was Friday and she had to go to the office. Besides, she had a divine task to perform, and as bad as she was feeling, she had to do God’s job.
She arrived by 10.30, when Jamal was already in his office. She knocked at the door softly, already thinking in an excuse for her late arrival. "Jamal, can I come in?" she asked and sighed in relief when she saw neither Kathleen nor Gregory were around.
"I thought you were not coming, Monica," the man said eyeing carefully.
"I’m sorry I’m late..."
"For the face you have, I think you didn’t want to come today..." he ventured in a nice tone and pointing at one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Silently, Monica walked to the chair and took a seat, unwilling to talk about her current state of mind, least of all with her assignment. "I..."
"Is it your boyfriend again?"
Monica lifted her face immediately, for a brief second wondering who was the assignment, Jamal or herself. Yet the mere mention of Andrew was enough to make her heart ache again. "Yes," she whispered lowering her face again.
Jamal contemplated her for a moment in absolute silence. "Love hurts, Monica, that’s the only true." When the little angel said nothing, he added. "That’s why I said love is not worth suffering for. I guess you won’t differ this time..."
Two big tears escaped Monica’s brown eyes when she met Jamal’s. "I know you told me I would be hurt, but I still think love is what matters the most in this world..."
"Then you’re thinking about forgiving your boyfriend for whatever he had done or ask for his forgiveness if it was your fault, and you’ll be smiling again next week, just to cry again in no time..."
"Andrew and I are not coming back, Jamal..." Monica murmured in a barely audible voice.
"I swear I will never understand women! You can’t understand love and you shouldn’t feel it either! The time you use ‘loving’ someone you better use it in something more tangible..." he said making a sign of money with a hand, "... like the contract with the French lab we have to send today!"
Monica understood what he was asking and she stood up, but after barely two steps her knees grew weak and she almost fell. "Monica, are you alright?" Jamal asked going to her side and helping her take a seat again. When he touched her hand, he noticed how cold she was. "Did you have breakfast or dinner at least?"
"N-no..." Monica replied after a second. She then assumed that being in human form for so long and with the stress of last night, she was somehow paying its price.
Jamal shook his head. "My! What am I going to do with you, huh?" he said in a strange friendly tone. "I don’t want the best secretary I have had in years so sick in no time! Come on, I haven’t had breakfast either. We’re going to eat something and you will not object!"
***
Andrew sluggishly walked for awhile, hands stuffed in his pockets, not knowing what to think. He was confused, mad and sad at a time, with no place to go as he was too upset to go back home. Not even the clear morning could do something to cheer his heart. He ended up arriving at the diner where he had taken Monica the first day she worked on this assignment. He stood by the door for a second before he decided to get in.
"Well, see who’s here?" a blond girl told Andrew going to his side when he took a seat. "You’re back!"
"Hi, Deborah," the blond angel smiled faintly.
"But what a face you have! I thought you and Monica had worked things out after she was here!"
"She was here? When?" Andrew asked very surprised.
"A couple of days ago... She apologized... I thought you knew about it..." the girl said eyeing him carefully. When he remained silent, she added, "Are things all right between you two, Andrew?"
He sighed deeply before he turned to face the waitress. "No, Deborah, they are not... we... broke up."
"Oh, my! I’m so sorry to hear that!! I don’t know what to say!"
"I guess there’s no much to say..." he offered.
"You’ll find someone much better, Andrew, if you’ve broken for good..."
When he said nothing more, Deborah walked away in silence. Andrew stayed there thinking. There wasn’t anybody else for him. He wasn’t a normal human who have a chance to fall in love once and again. He had been granted that special gift once, and he still couldn’t believe he had lost her.
He lost the track of time lost in his thoughts until the noise of the opening door made him turn... to discover Monica and Jamal coming inside.
The little angel seemed to feel his gaze as she had just given a couple of steps inside when she turned to meet his green eyes. She could see them, so full with confusion, pain and even anger, that her heart broke again. She stood there like frozen until Jamal gently pushed her to the nearest table. "Jamal, could we... go somewhere else?"
"Why?" the man asked and then followed her sight to Andrew’s table. "Is that him?" She nodded. "We’re not leaving, Monica. You’ll show him you can live without him!"
Monica blinked hard trying to fight the tears. How could she tell him that she could not live without Andrew, that other than God, he was the only reason of her life? She turned slightly to see him looking at her again, her legs feeling like running to his side and hold him tight, but then again she remembered Kathleen’s threatens and knew the aching rancor she could see in Andrew’s eyes was worth his being safe.
"If you want him back, Monica, I think I could help you..." The Irish angel turned to see him, eyes wide open, which Jamal took as she was willing to try whatever he had to offer. "See? Kathleen and Gregory helped me to make a ‘deal’ with someone that grants me whatever I want to, either it is something material... or someone in special. If you want to, I’m sure he can give him back to you, this time with his full attention for you..."
Monica met her "boss" eyes and a frightened chill ran up and down her spine. Something in them just terrified her. She couldn’t believe he was offering her to make a deal with the Devil...
****
Chapter 7
All I have been living for is gone...
"So, you said no to what Jamal proposed you, Mony?" Kathleen asked the little angel that day in the afternoon when the demon left their ‘boss’ office.
"You wouldn’t think I’d say yes, would you?" the angel replied in a matching sarcastic tone. "I’m not interested in your deals, Kathleen, I told you so..."
"Well, well, you did do what I told you to..." the demon said taking a seat on the corner of Monica’s desk, not allowing her to continue with what she was doing.
"You know why I did it, to spare Andrew’s life, and you can be proud now. I’m hurting and so is he. You’ve done our lives miserable..." she added with such a painful tone and a cold gaze that would have hurt any other being but a demon.
Kathleen laughed quietly. "Yes, I’m proud of you too, dear," she took the angel’s hand but Monica freed herself immediately. "Whatever you told him, it certainly hurt him. I saw him today at the diner. What a pitiful expression he had! Not even sweet Deborah could cheer him up!"
Monica turned away so Kathleen couldn’t see her face, and closed her eyes to fight back the tears she so wanted to cry. "Help me, Father..." she murmured quietly.
"I’m sure you said the same thing to know what to tell him to go away, didn’t you? He heard you, Mony... Now just pray for Deborah not to do her job..."
The Irish angel turned quickly, fear reflected on her eyes and her heart beating wildly. "Deborah? Why? NO!" Kathleen nodded. "Is she one of you?!"
The female demon smiled broadly. "With such a pretty face you’d swear she’s an angel, right? She can even deceive an angel! Specially an angel in such a state of mind.."
"I told you to leave him alone! He has nothing to do with this assignment or with Jamal’s deal with the Devil!" Monica exclaimed in a panicked voice.
"See, little angel? This has nothing to do with ‘our’ business," the demon said. "But a soul like Andrew’s is highly tempting for us... and you know how we work! We take advantage of your biggest weaknesses! We almost had you once, don’t you remember? Your heart was broken then; Andrew’s broken now! This isn’t a chance we’re missing so easily..."
"Kathleen, please!" Monica asked. She would beg if necessary, but he had to be safe... "This is between you and me! Leave him!"
"This is all up to Andrew, dear," the demon stroked her hair. "If he falls into Deborah’s game... and if he kisses her..." and left Monica standing behind her desk, shaking with renewed fear.
***
As hard as she tried, Monica couldn’t take Kathleen’s new menaces out of her mind. What could she do now to warn Andrew without placing him in a higher risk? She was thinking about that when she went to Jamal’s office to search for the last year budget so she could compare it with the current one. The man had told her it was on the upper drawer behind his desk, so she was there, on her knees, with a pile of yellow folders at a side, half reading the labels on them, half thinking again and again about a certain blond angel.
"Gosh..." she couldn’t help but exclaim when she placed a new folder at the top of the pile and all got scattered around. She started to collect them and place them back on the drawer, and only when she picked up the last ones she noticed a blue envelope that had fallen to the floor. The beautiful handwriting that read "To Jamal" on it called her attention, and even if she doubted first, she took out the two pages inside and started to read the same elegant penmanship.
"Jamal,
I wish there was an easy way to say this, but there isn’t. I know I’m going to hurt you, but I want you to remember this is hurting me twice more..."
"Just what do you think you’re reading, Monica?!" Jamal’s voice made the little angel jump out of her skin.
"Oh, I... I..."
In two long strides the man was by the angel’s side and grabbed the letter. "This is no one of your business, you hear me?! This is part of a past I have left behind and I don’t want any of my employees to dig on it!"
"Who was Sheila, Jamal?" Monica offered softly.
"No one you can get interested on..."
"She loved you, she said so..."
Jamal took Monica’s arm and shook her, the little angel wincing with pain. "You, women lie! You say you love us but that’s not true! Don’t you think she told me all that I’m sure you’ve told your boyfriend? ‘You’re my life, you are my everything’... and you have sent him straight to hell! For sure he is now mourning and you’re here reading someone’s else secrets!"
"I’m sorry... I didn’t mean to..." the angel said, her eyes shining with tears. He couldn’t know how certain his words were in respect to her and Andrew...
For a long second, Jamal met Monica’s eyes and the true fear he saw in them moved him at the end. He released her and murmured an "I’m sorry".
Monica closed the drawer, took the folder she had come to look and started to walk out of the office, but before she reached the door, she turned to see her ‘boss’ again. "Jamal... did you ever really try to find out the truth? about her reasons to..."
Jamal looked at his assistant, the expression on his face telling everything Monica needed to know...
***
The last thing Monica needed on a day like that was to pass by the café and see Andrew talking to Deborah again. But there he was. Or there they were. He was seating by the window and she was standing at his side, the menus totally forgotten as one of her hands was covering her mouth and the other was circling her waist for she was laughing like crazy. Andrew was smiling too. Not laughing, but smiling. Yet his eyes showed the deep bone sadness to the one who knew how to read on them, to the angel that meant the world for him...
"If he falls into Deborah’s game..." Kathleen’s words were so present in her mind that Monica didn’t think it twice before pushing the door open and take a seat right across where Andrew was seating. He noticed her presence immediately as his eyes were fixed on her, only occasionally turning to Deborah more for the mere courtesy. Another waitress came near to her to offer the menu but she asked for a coffee.
And Andrew would have noticed her presence no matter what. He so missed her! He had lost everything in hours... his job as an angel and the being he loved the most. He so wanted to run to her and hold her tight, to not let her go anymore, to kiss her and make her forget anything but his love for her. It was almost a physical ache for him to not going closer to her...
And Monica was feeling the same. She so wanted to forget about Kathleen and Gregory and Jamal! But she couldn’t. Instead she examined Deborah carefully from head to toes... yes, she was indeed beautiful, but so she was dangerous and Andrew was right where the demons wanted him to be. She had to find a way to take him away from her, but how? She looked down to the table and her gaze caught in her hand: the ring Andrew had given her for Valentine’s. It would be so painful to give it up; it meant so much for her... She took it out and walked to his table. "Excuse me," she said and Deborah shot her a nasty glance. "Andrew... can I have a word with you?"
The blond angel turned to see Deborah, who understood what he was asking. "I... hum..." she picked up her menus, "I’ll be back later."
Both angels waited until she was gone and only then did Andrew speak. "Now what do you want, Monica?" he said with a very upset tone. "You were very clear when you said you didn’t want to see me again. Did you think it twice and now you regret your words?"
The Irish angel felt how tears were stinging in her eyes for she didn’t know what was worse: being away from him or hear the bitterness in his words. "Please, Andrew, that’s not fair..."
"Fair?! You want me to be fair?!" he yelled and lowered her voice when half of the customers turned to see them. Monica was still standing by the table and he felt suddenly sorry for her. "Sit down," he ordered her. Once she was sitting, he continued, "Don’t come to me with what is fair or not, Monica, ‘cause what you did to me certainly isn’t!"
"If you only knew..." Monica murmured not able to meet his eyes.
"Then tell me!" he raised his voice again, grasping her hand until it was almost painful for her.
The Irish angel raised her face and only then could read the desperation in Andrew’s eyes. She couldn’t tell him anything, not yet... Doing the biggest effort of her life, she freed her hand and stood up. "I can’t!" she said now in a high voice too. "I just wanted to give you this back..."
Andrew saw the ring and couldn’t believe it. "It’s yours. I don’t want it back..."
"I can’t keep it. It doesn’t feel right. Here you have," she let the ring in front of his hands. "That’s all I needed to tell you." She then walked to her table, dropped some coins to pay for the coffee she ordered and left.
He couldn’t let her go so easily. He left a bill too, took the ring and went after her. "Monica, wait!" he said but the little angel practically ran away. He followed her along the street until she crossed by the corner to a park. Being taller and faster than her, he reached her and took her by the arm. "Wait! We need to talk!"
"Let me go, Andrew!" she fought.
"No! You are not going anywhere!" he shouted grabbing both her arms and shaking her. "I can’t believe what you are doing! You and I were blessed with our love! It was the most special gift we could have ever had and you are giving it away! It’s not only yours to decide you know? I have something to say here too!"
"You don’t understand, Andrew, you don’t understand!" she sobbed.
"That’s true! I don’t understand it! I can’t understand you want to give up what we’ve had together, what we’ve shared! How many angels have had this chance, tell me!! How many times had you felt this way?! Why are you doing this?!"
"I have reasons, Andrew!"
"Reasons that I can’t accept! You mean so much to me, baby!" he cupped her face forcing her to see him through teary eyes. "Monica, you can’t possibly know how much I love you, sweetie! You are my world..." he started to kiss her face and then pulled her into a tight hug. "You are the reason of my everyday... Without you... all I have been living for is gone..."
Monica felt how her resistance was ceding with Andrew’s caresses. It had been less than twenty four hours but she had missed and needed him every second. Nowhere but in his arms she could feel herself strong enough to carry on with this assignment... Yet, barely a couple of seconds later, she tried to pull away. "Andrew, please, let me go..."
"No!" he shouted cupping her face and steadying her. He had to fight for her. He needed her and wasn’t willing to let her go. "No, Monica, no, don’t go..."
"Let me go, please..." she took his wrists trying to make him free her.
"I said no!" he shouted and taking her by surprise, he pulled her over for a long, deep kiss.
***
Chapter 8
Si tú no estás aquí... (If you are not here...)
Monica’s lips opened willingly to welcome Andrew’s and the rush of emotions that followed. She had missed the passion with which he could kiss her and for the moment, she wanted nothing but to abandon herself to him. Yet, she reacted quickly and remembered what was going on with her assignment and with Andrew. She tried to break the kiss pushing him away but he was much more stronger. "Please, Andrew, no…" she said against his lips.
"You want this as much as I do, Monica," he replied placing a hand at the back of her neck, pulling her back to his eager mouth. "I can feel you, baby, I can feel you are yearning for this…"
He was kissing her cheeks and her neck, his hands still stopping her from fighting. "No, Andrew, stop," she was begging before he aimed again for her mouth. But this time she knew she had to stop him and she refused to open her lips as hard as he was trying to force her. "Stop it, Andrew!" When he didn’t stop and started to use his strength to force her, she felt now openly uncomfortable. "NO!" she shouted and slapped him.
The sound of her hand on his cheek sounded like the one of crystal breaking in a thousand of pieces. Monica’s breath caught in her throat when she realized what she had done and when she saw the hurting look in Andrew’s eyes who, unable to believe it, had a hand on his cheek.
"I’m sorry…" Monica managed to murmur but he said nothing.
He knew she had been right but just looked at her and walked away.
****
"What do you want to drink? A Scotch?" Kathleen asked Jamal once they were settled on the man’s studio.
"Yeah, a Scotch’s fine…" he said sitting heavily on his armchair and resting his legs on the coffee table. He opened the folder he had brought from the office and between the pages he found the light blue envelope Monica had been reading.
Just the mere lines of the penmanship brought memories to his mind. Memories of a past when he was such a different man, when he didn’t spend the night with his assistant but with the woman that meant the world for him. He opened the envelope and was taking out the paper when Kathleen came back.
"What is it?" the demon asked offering him his beverage.
"Nothing" he quickly put the letter away. "We need to get that budget ready or we’ll lost the sell. We can’t afford that, Kathleen".
"If Monica hadn’t taken so long in finding them…" the female demon murmured opening her own copy of the budget.
"Give her a break, Kathleen," Jamal murmured. "She has had the hell of a week…"
Kathleen looked at him not believing what he was saying. "Are you giving her a special treatment, Jamal?! I thought we had agreed no employee would get benefits if she or he didn’t do her or his work properly, which is obvious Monica hasn’t done!"
"She’s been doing what she can…" the man defended her. "Besides it’s mine to decide whether I grant benefits to one employee or not."
"But if you do it with one, you will have to do it with all, and we agreed that if you showed yourself as a weak man, your workers would take advantage!"
"I’m not being weak, Kathleen!" Jamal argued. "Monica is not that kind of person! She wouldn’t take advantage of me…"
"How do you know?!" the demon was getting frantic. She couldn’t believe the angel had won so much of the man’s heart in so few days.
"I thought you would know, you’ve worked with her before, haven’t you?" he challenged his assistant.
"That’s why I’m telling you! If you care about what you’ve gotten so far, you better take care! The Master wouldn’t like this at all…"
Jamal shivered lightly at the mention of the being he had promised his soul after his death. He saw the day of his passing as something very distant, something not to worry about, yet he didn’t like to think about it. "Come on, Kathleen! Monica has nothing to do with this! End of the discussion! Will we start to work or should I start to mark my employee’s places with you?"
The demon took a sharp breath and opened her eyes widely at Jamal’s words but said nothing. She buried her face in her papers, mentally cursing the day the little angel had gotten in her way with Jamal.
They spent the next two hours in a tense silence, just sharing comments about what they were finding in the budget. Still Kathleen noticed how Jamal’s forehead was starting to shine with tiny drops of sweat. Catching her looking at him when he dried his forehead, Jamal commented, "It’s pretty hot, isn’t it?"
Kathleen shook her head lightly as if she had misunderstood. "Hot? Jamal we’re in February! I’m about to put my jacket on!"
He untied his tie, his breath getting somewhat uneven. "I… I’m feeling hot, but at the same time I agree, it’s chilly…"
"Maybe we should call it a night," the demon said closing her papers and heading to the door. "You are not ok. Get some rest. I’ll see you tomorrow."
Jamal saw her leaving and put aside his folder too. When he moved to get comfortable on the armchair, he felt something cracking: the pale-blue envelope. He observed it for a long moment until he decided to take out the pages and read them.
The pale light of a lamp on a side table was the only source of light hours later, when Jamal was sitting on the lonely studio. The letter was hanging from his hand, the words fixed on his mind. "I deserve better than you… You may find someone else… Forget about me…"
"How?" he asked in a little more than a whisper, his hand clutching at the paper tightly. "How could I?" He then covered his face with one hand and lowered his face. His breath became ragged and quick, as if he couldn’t get enough air. Gulping with difficulty, he forced himself to take a deep breath, but air didn’t fill his lungs as a sharp pain hit him in the middle of his chest. He felt a sudden wave of panic thinking of what would come when he died… Drowning a scream, pain written all over his face, Jamal let his head fall backwards, concentrating only in be still so he would feel strong enough to walk to his bedroom…
Unseen to the man, by one of the opposite corners of the studio, Sam appeared and looked at him, at the drops that shinned over the dark skin of his forehead. The angel looked upwards and nodded his understanding, then turned to look at the other corner and at the two female beings that had appeared there.
"You better hurry. We’re running out of time here…" one, with red hair, said.
"I thought he was your job, not mine…" the other, a blond one, argued.
"But your chances will be smaller if you don’t take the opportunity while ‘my job’ is still alive!" the first added.
The second one sighed. "I’m having a hard time with him, you know? He’s too loyal and confident…"
"Then use your endearing traits!" the red haired one told the other. "You can’t lose him! You have to act and soon! The ending is coming and I want them both!"
"All right, Kathleen," Deborah said. "I’ll see what I can do…"
"Kiss him…" the ex angel remembered her partner before she disappeared.
Sam then met Kathleen’s brown eyes in a silent challenge where the prize were two souls… one human and one angelic.
****
Andrew smiled faintly early the next morning when he saw his blond friend coming to his table with a coffee pot and a menu on her hands. He knew he would ask for a coffee for mere courtesy and then would just stare at the cup for hours, thinking about one little angel and wishing she would come eventually.
"G’morning!" Deborah greeted him with a wide smile. "You’re early today!"
"Yeah…" Andrew replied. "I… I have a day off and I didn’t know where to go…"
"Hey, I can ask for the day free too and we could go somewhere else!" she said excitedly. "There’s a movie I’m looking forward to watch and we could go have lunch somewhere nice! Or we could just pack for a picnic by the beach! There’s one outside the city that is very beautiful!"
"Hum… Deborah…" the blond angel tried to interrupt her. "I-I’m not sure…"
"Why not? You look like you really need to have some fun! I don’t know what happen with that girlfriend of yours but it’s obvious you need a time off!"
Andrew gulped and sighed at the mere thought of Monica, knowing that after what he had done the previous day, things were now much more complicated between them. "I don’t know, Deborah. I don’t think I’m a good company right now…"
"Oh, come on, Andrew!" the demon said taking a seat by his side and reaching to take his hand. "Please, let’s go!"·
He was feeling somehow uncomfortable with her insistence, specially because he didn’t want to hurt her. "Why are you doing this, Deborah?" he asked looking at her hand on his.
Her blue eyes met his with a sincerity that touched the angel’s heart. "Because I care about you…"
"Why?" he asked in a whisper, not sure of what to say or do.
Deborah lowered her face and stroke his hand tenderly. When she raised her head again, she saw how surprised he was. "Because I think I’m falling in love with you, Andrew…" Looking at him again, she leaned over slowly, until their lips were so close…
Andrew had been taken off guard. His heart was beating faster and he couldn’t move. He saw her coming closer, her eyes closing, her lips opening to him, inviting him. Unconsciously, he closed his eyes too, her breathing warm in its closeness… until it was another different breath, another perfume, and he could feel other lips almost brushing his. Those lips he wanted so much… Those of the Irish angel that had stopped by the window when she had recognized them and that was praying with all her being for him not to do it…
****
Chapter 9
Once upon a time there was light in my life, but now there’s only love in the dark…
"NO!" Andrew exclaimed suddenly pulling away barely an instant before he kissed the blond demon. "I’m sorry, Deborah, but I can’t!" he said standing up and leaving the dinner in such a hurry that he didn’t see Monica still standing by the window.
The angel of Death walked as quick as he could for what he felt like a long time. He didn’t know when he had disappeared from the street and reappeared in a green meadow where the sun and a soft breeze bathed him. His legs grew weaker and he fell on his knees, big painful tears rolling over his cheeks. "Please, help me," he begged. "I’m lost! I no longer know what I’m doing! She was my North Star, my way to come back to You! Why do I have to lose her? I know You are the One that can comfort anyone in times of pain, that’s why I’m coming to You! You know I’ll do whatever You ask me to, but I also know that Monica and I being apart is not what You want because You put us together in the first place. She says she has reasons, reasons that I don’t understand. Show me the way, Father, for I no longer can see the light…"
"You know He will, Andrew" Sam’s voice interrupted him. The dark skinned angel placed a hand on Andrew’s shoulder at the time he wiped away his tears before he stood up.
"Sam…" the blond angel acknowledged him.
"Hello, son. I was looking for you. The Father told me where to find you."
"You were looking for me?" he repeated. "What for?"
"The Father needs you. Right now. He needs His best angels and you are between them."
Andrew smiled nervously, his current state of mind not allowing him to believe he was required at the time. "I don’t know if I’m ready to go back to work right now, Sam. I’m not sure I could do my job as I am supposed to. You released me a couple of days ago but the things now are worse between Monica and me, and I…"
"Andrew," Sam interrupted him. "The Father knows how things are between you and Monica. He knows both of you are hurting and He wants to help you heal. But right now He needs His angels. He’s asking you to rise and do His job for He needs His loyal servants. He needs you to stand for Him as He’s always done for you. You are His angel, Andrew, don’t forget that."
Andrew sighed knowing he in no way could refuse to do what God was asking him to do. "I know, Sam. What is it?"
"This is a very special case, son. The Father needs the most capable angels. You won’t be alone but we need you there. We all will get special help…" the dark skinned angel said.
"You say the Father needs the best angels…" the blond angel started, and then meeting Sam’s brown eyes, he asked what was in his mind. "Will Monica…?"
"Yes, she will be there too," Sam replied, reading in Andrew’s green eyes the pain he was feeling. "In fact she is the one that needs all our help…"
"This is about her assignment with Jamal Burgham, right?"
The supervisor nodded. "Yes. His time is over." They then started to walk and disappeared.
***
Monica cried softly all her way to the office, half for fear and pain, half in relief when she saw Andrew leaving the diner. She wiped the last of her tears and sighed when she reached the front door of the building, and immediately something caught her attention. All the building seemed like set on fire, people running from one office to the other, carrying papers and giving orders to everyone around. The front desk was full with people asking to meet Jamal or some of the VP’s or the executives; the secretaries there were having trouble to calm the people that was surrounding the front desk demanding an explanation. Among the questions and the yelling Monica could finally get an idea of what was happening: Burgham enterprises had been declared in bankrupt just minutes ago.
Sensing the urge to arrive to her place, the little angel took the stairs to escape the multitude and then waited for the elevator on the following floor. When the doors opened, her office was a mirror of what she had left downstairs: people with stress reflected on their eyes and expressions. The otherwise calm and almost peaceful office was now a kingdom of confusion and chaos. She dropped her purse on her chair and ran to open the door of Jamal’s office.
Opposite to what was happening outside, in his office there was nobody but him, seating on his chair, his back to the desk and the door. Without turning t look at his secretary, Jamal said, "Have you heard the news, Monica? It’s all gone…"
"Jamal, what?" the little angel asked. "I only overheard what people is saying downstairs…"
"We lost the sell we were working on. All the inversion we did is worth nothing now. You don’t have a job anymore. Nobody has one anymore…" When the man finally turned to face his secretary, he was no longer the proud, impressive man Monica had known so far. He looked pale, weak… defeated in one word.
"That’s not possible…" she murmured.
"It is, Monica. I had put the enterprise with everything on it as a guarantee for the bank so I could get the money for the inversion in the sell… The sell is gone so is the money and the contracts for the providers and the sellers. I’m sorry for you, Monica, you had just started…"
The Irish angel walked to be right in front of the desk. "I’m sorry for you, Jamal… still there’s something you should know…"
"What?" the man asked, somehow surprised by her the tenderness in her voice.
"That no matter how difficult and hopeless the situation looks like, God will always help you go through it…"
"God?" Jamal asked in a tone that was a mixture between sarcasm and surprise.
"Don’t even try that, Monica!" Kathleen’s voice thundered in the office, making both the angel and the man turn to see her.
"Try what?" Jamal asking not knowing what his assistant was talking about.
"So… this is the time, Kathleen?" Monica said with a defiant note that surprised the demon and the man. "This is the time when we’ll show ourselves like what we really are?"
"Go on, angelgirl," Kathleen replied sarcastically. "I think it won’t be a real surprise…"
"Show what you really are?" the man couldn’t understand. "You two, you better explain yourselves right now! Why do you call her angelgirl, Kathleen?"
"Because I am an angel, Jamal," Monica said looking at him first and then at her ex co-worker at the time a soft glow involved her and her clothes changed immediately into a long white dress. "I am an angel sent by God to save you from Kathleen, Gregory and the power they serve."
"If you are an angel, then Kathleen…"
"Yes, Jamal, I am a demon!" she said, her clothes changing into black ones. "Or… a fallen angel, better said. I was created by the same God that created her… but I decided to serve the master you chose too."
Time seemed to be still for Jamal as he couldn’t fully understand what was going on. He had an angel and a demon with him, yet he was aware he had promised his soul to the Devil… then why had God sent him an angel and at that exact moment? "Why are you here, Monica?" the man asked incredulously. "I thought…"
"You thought that when you neglected God, He had also neglected you, that when you turned your back on him, He had turned His back on you too, but that’s not true, Jamal. He still loves you, He still believes in you…"
"But you have a promise, Jamal!" Kathleen interrupted. "The master gave you everything you asked for: money, power… Now, you have to fulfill your promise!"
"N-now?" the man stuttered. "You mean I-I’m going…" he took a deep breath, "… to die?"
He was now looking at both Monica and Kathleen. The first had tears in her eyes, the second was smiling in pride and nodding. As if asking for a confirmation, Jamal looked at Monica, who managed a quick nod as the only answer.
It happened in barely a second. A sharp pain hit him in the middle of his chest, right on his heart. A heart attack, Jamal knew immediately. His breath caught in his throat and he lost consciousness for a second, until he felt he was waking up in a place that was no longer his office but somewhere else in the middle of two roads, one in absolute darkness, the other in the brightest light.
"It’s time to go, Jamal," Gregory announced standing by Kathleen’s side. "The master is waiting for you."
Jamal couldn’t utter a sound. All he knew was that he was terribly scared for he had the feeling of the horrible things that awaited him in hell. Never before he had regretted his promise, specially when he had gotten what he had wanted: more money than he could spend, the power to dominate whoever he wanted to, in particular those who could compete with him in business. He had also had a lot of women he had conquered just for a few nights and then forgotten. Still all those things had left him feeling empty. No matter how much people admired him as a successful man, he knew his life hadn’t been whole and at that exact moment all he wanted was another day to live and try to find what he had rarely had: love. He looked at Kathleen and Gregory with pure terror written on his eyes. He couldn’t move, he didn’t want to!
The sudden soft touch of a hand on his made him react and turn to find Monica looking at him. "You can change your decision, Jamal!" she said in a low, tender voice. "There’s still time…"
"No, Jamal! A promise is a promise!" Kathleen interrupted.
"Ask for forgiveness! God will forgive you! He already has!" the angel said.
"Satan wants what you promised to him!" Gregory added. "He will fight to see the promise fulfilled!"
"God will fight for your soul, Jamal! Who do you think is more powerful than the all mighty God?"
"God hasn’t beaten the Devil, Monica!" Kathleen said. "You know better than that! You’ve faced Evil more times that you can count!"
"But wars are won one battle at a time, Kathleen, and I’m here to fight this battle!" the Irish angel said with a conviction in her voice that finally reached Jamal’s heart.
"Oh, God, what have I done?" Kathleen and Gregory heard Jamal murmur before they could stop him.
"NO!" the female demon shouted reaching to take Monica by a wrist, grabbing it so hard that she was hurting the angel. "You think you won but you didn’t, little angel! Gregory, take him!"
Jamal reacted trying to run but the demon was faster and caught him, circling the man’s neck with one arm and bending him arm towards his back. "You’re coming with us, wanting it or not!"
"You can’t manage the two of us alone, Mony," Kathleen said bending the angel’s wrist so bad that she fell to her knees.
"But she is not alone, Kathleen!" Tess’ voice thundered as if announcing a storm. "And you better go away!" The dark skinned angel took the demon’s wrist and easily made her release Monica. When the little angel opened her eyes, she saw that not only Tess was there but also Rafael —who had managed to free Jamal from Gregory’s hold—, Emma, and many more angels standing at the beginning of the light-full road.
Kathleen and Gregory seemed taken off-guard all surrounded by angels, but who seemed now more impressed than ever was Jamal. He was on his knees too and was studying carefully some of the angels. "You…" he told Rafael. "You are that boy that came to ask for a job last year and…"
"… and you ordered there was no job for Latin people in your enterprise…" the young angel told him. "Yet, I gave you a message…"
"That God was watching what I was doing…" Jamal said in a regretful voice.
"The exact words I told you the last time you went to visit your mother…" Emma said now. "Five years before she died, with cancer, alone in that nursing home where you abandoned her…"
"See, Jamal?" Monica interceded, walking and kneeling in front of the man. "God hasn’t lost hope in you. He has sent you an angel once and again to make you see He will love you until the end. You have neglected that love because you have been waiting for one in particular…"
"How could I believe in God when He had taken away from me the woman I loved the most?" Jamal asked now crying openly. "She was my happiness! She left me for somebody new! Somebody with money and power! That’s why I looked for them! For money and power so I could have her back!"
"And who gave you that, Jamal? Don’t forget it!" Kathleen spoke. "He gave you what you wanted and more!"
"But he never gave you Sheila back and he will never do" Monica said in a loud voice, "for Sheila is waiting for you by God’s side and you’ll see her if you ask for His mercy!"
Of all the news, this was the one Jamal expected the less: Sheila was dead! "She can’t be dead!" the man whispered still in shock. "She can’t be! How do you know?! Did you take her home?!" he shouted to Monica, grabbing her by the arms desperately.
"I did!" Adam’s voice said and everybody turned to see a new group of angels arriving: Sam, Adam… and Andrew.
Chapter 10
Everything I do, I do it for you
Monica’s eyes met his the very second the blond angel appeared. And their mutual love flooded to each other’s heart immediately, making the separation now more painful than ever.
"You?!" Kathleen hissed when she saw Andrew. "You were supposed to be in hell now! Deborah, that good for nothing!"
Andrew’s breath caught in his throat at the mention of what his blond "friend" really was, and turned to face Monica, sensing she knew much more that he did, but the little angel lowered her head to avoid his gaze.
"I took Sheila Home," Adam interrupted Andrew’s silent dilemma. "And she was a remarkable woman…"
"Remarkable?" Jamal questioned the angel. "How could she be if she left me for somebody else? Someone with more money because I was a poor nobody! That’s why I made the promise with the Devil! To get the money I needed so she would think of me as a more than a poor guy!" the man explained.
"Do you remember where you come from, Jamal Burgham?" Tess asked with her bossy tone.
"I know you too…" Jamal said looking at the angel. "You were that woman of the choir at the church…"
"Yes, I was. And it’s good you remember that church. The old church, dark and poor as the neighborhood you and Sheila lived in. Not always have you lived in a fancy house with a driver and a maid, Jamal. But you’ve tried to ignore that because that was a part of a past you wanted to forget… even if your mother was also forgotten in the process…"
"Sheila wanted a different life too!" the man tried to defend himself. "She told me she wanted money and a man who could give her all I couldn’t! If you are judging me, you should’ve also judge her!"
"I’m not judging you! That’s all up to God!" the dark skinned angel said. "All I want is you to listen to what Adam has to say. It’s a story that may be useful…" she looked at Andrew briefly before she circled Monica’s waist.
"Sheila told you all that story about the money to protect you, Jamal," the angel of death said. "Have you forgotten she was with someone else before you two fell in love?"
"That Markus… the Big Markus, we used to call him…" Jamal remembered.
"The chief of the local gang. A drug dealer. A pimp. Sheila, as most of the girls in the neighborhood, has been forced to have intimacy with him or their families would face the consequences. Not only they had been with Markus, but also with the men he ordered them to be with. But Sheila was special; he liked her above the others. When you came in her world and she fell in love with you, she decided she would be only with you. She tried to leave Markus…"
"But she did!" Jamal argued. "She only was with me!"
"… until Markus menaced her with hurting you. She had no family left after her brother was ‘killed’ in that car accident and her sister ‘committed’ suicide. Markus threatened her with killing you… if she didn’t return with him."
Monica’s sharp intake didn’t go unnoticed by Andrew, Sam and Tess. Sheila’s story was so close to her own experience the last days…
"I-I never knew…" Jamal stuttered. "I really thought her brother had died in an accident…"
"When she couldn’t find a way to protect you, Sheila accepted to go back with Markus and leave you, so the gang would never hurt you. She couldn’t find another way to break with you but to make you hate her, so you would never try to look for her again…"
"She lied…" Jamal pointed.
Adam nodded. "And that was bad. But she did it because she loved you so much…" the angel looked at Andrew and then at Monica, "…that she was willing to give her own life to spare yours."
Big tears crossed Monica’s cheeks at what she heard. Sheila had done the same than her to save the life of the man she so loved. That’s why she had been sent to help Jamal, because she would do the same for Andrew with no argument.
"How did she die?" Jamal asked in a low voice, all he was hearing seemed too much to be taken all at once.
"Barely a couple of months after you left the neighborhood with your mother," Adam continued. "She argued with Markus for she swore she would never stop loving you. He got mad, he hit her and then shot her."
To Jamal that piece of news was as if he had gotten the shot himself. His legs grew weak and he fell to his knees again, crying. "No! Oh, God, no!"
"Hehehe… the good Markus…" Kathleen’s voice was heard then. "He did a good job in condemning himself! He loved her, you know? But he never repented, not even in jail. Instead he signed for his place in hell when he killed two more men and then committed suicide still enjoying what he had done!"
"Sheila!" Jamal sobbed. "I never knew…"
"She truly loved you, Jamal," Monica murmured kneeling at the side of her assignment. What the angel said next were the words that came directly form her heart. "For when you really love someone, you are always willing to give up your own life if that means the one you love the most will be safe."
Andrew could sense there was a meaning hidden in Monica’s words and his eyes shouted his need for an explanation. Adam read that as what he then said only served to confirm Andrew’s feelings. "Monica is right, Jamal. Sheila loved you and she still does. Her sacrifice shows that… as I only know one other person who did the same…" Adam met Monica’s eyes, "… to spare Andrew’s life from the menace of the demons…"
"AND WE ARE NOT GIVING UP SO EASILY!" Kathleen surprised all the angels that were still in shock to hear about Monica’s secret sacrifice. From behind Kathleen, dozens of dark figures appeared and surrounded the angels, holding them so the wouldn’t move. Kathleen then walked to Andrew and took his chin violently. "I said I wanted you and I’ll have you!"
"NO!" Monica’s desperate shout made her turn. The angel had taken by surprise the demon that was holding her and she had freed herself to jump towards her ex friend and push her away of Andrew. "Leave him alone!"
The dark figure that was holding Andrew moved then to grab the Irish angel, freeing the blond one. As if in a cue, all the angels tried to get rid of their captors. Amidst the confusion, Andrew lost Monica, who had been taken by the demon. "MONICA!" he shouted when he saw her being taken to the dark road.
"ANDREW!" she shouted back.
"This is all my fault!" Jamal exclaimed.
"Yes, it is, my friend!" Gregory informed him. "Now, you come!"
"God, please forgive me!" Jamal shouted when the demon tried to pull him. "God, please help us!"
At the mere mention of His name, a bright light surrounded them all and for a second there was nothing but silence, and then the yelling of the dark figures that ran towards the darkness where they had come from.
"COME BACK!" Kathleen and Gregory’s voices were ordering, but it was too late as their partners were now gone, Monica included. When light seemed to subside a little, the angels could easily recognize six tall figures with bright swords in their hands: the archangels.
"Special help," Andrew murmured and Sam nodded.
"Get out of here in the name of God!" the archangel Uriel said pointing his sword to Kathleen and Gregory. "Go back to where you belong now that His name has been evoked!" The demons seemed to vanish in the thin air not before Kathleen smiled devilish and murmured a "We’ve got something we wanted…"
The archangel Micah was helping Jamal to stand up and he told him gently, "You’ve been forgiven, Jamal Burgham. God is waiting for you." He then helped the man’s soul to arrive where Sam, Adam and Andrew were waiting for him. "Go now."
Adam placed a hand on Jamal’s shoulder and Sam waited for Andrew to do the same, but the blond angel didn’t move. He was still looking towards thee darkness, in shock, unable to move. He was thinking about what Adam had said about Sheila, about how she had sacrifice her own life for Jamal’s and now Monica had done the same. The demons had taken her and he didn’t know what to do. That was something he could allow to happen…
"Son?" Sam asked trying to take him out of his thoughts.
"Monica…" Andrew murmured in a low voice.
Only then the rest of the angels noted that in the confusion she had disappeared. "They took her!" Rafael voiced what no one else wanted to say.
Tess met Andrew’s eyes, knowing the same terror was written in her face, but she just shook her head before Micah talked again, "Andrew, go now. Take him Home now."
"Micah!" he pleaded.
"There she is!" Rafael and Emma said at the same time. They all turned to see the seventh and missing archangel, Gabriel, who was carrying Monica on his arms, emerging from the darkness with his bright sword on the waist.
Tess practically ran to her angelgirl. Gabriel made her seat on the ground and soon all the angels were surrounding her. How Andrew wanted to run and take her in his arms and never let her go! A little bit after, she lifted her face to look at Jamal, Sam, Andrew and Adam, who were about to leave. "Sheila loves you, Jamal," she said in the weakest voice, crying softly. "When you love someone, you do whatever it takes to keep him safe… even if that means to give up your own life and hurt him so badly… in the name of love." At her last words, she met Andrew’s eyes and saw the tears shinning there. It was a physical pain now to hold him, to feel his arms around her soothing her aching heart and erasing the memories of the darkness she had seen so recently. Yet, knowing he had a job to do, she lowered her face to break his gaze.
His heart broke in a thousand of pieces, a battle between sadness and regret in his mind. Andrew saw Monica avoiding his gaze and knew that he had lost her. Immediately, he felt how great was what he had lost with her.
He lowered his head too, placed a hand on Jamal’s shoulder and walked him with Adam and Sam to the meeting of His Lord, His savior and the only one that could mend the broken heart of two angels that had shared the purest love for what now looked like a very short time…
The end
***
Epilogue
Un-break my heart, say you’ll love me again…
Hehehe, did you really think I’d leave things the way they are now? OF COURSE NOT! I have to fix them!
Well, hopefully I did…
And this is for Kim, as a very late B/D present!
Andrew let go an unconscious sigh when he saw a couple some feet away from where he was standing. The long hair and the loosen dress of the woman made him think of a certain angel… Two months… It had been two months.
He was now back to full work but he hadn’t been assigned to help Monica during all this time. Nor had he seen Tess. Just at the very beginning, about a week after he and Adam had taken Jamal Home, he had met the old supervisor and had known that Monica had asked for a time off. After that, he had known nobody being with her and it worried him terribly.
The angel shook his head coming back to reality and saw Bill, his assignment standing a few steps ahead, his back to him, still watching the recently covered grace of his girlfriend. He had taken Annie Home just two days before, after a long painful agony for she had bone cancer. The rest of the people that had kept Bill company during the service was now gone, and the angel walked to the man and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder.
"How am I supposed to carry on without her, Andrew?" Bill said in the most miserable tone of voice. "She was my light, my reason to live!"
"I know," was all the angel could murmur. He couldn’t tell the man how true his words were when he himself had lost the light of his life.
"I… Would you mind coming back home with me, Andrew?" Bill asked cleaning his tears. "I don’t feel like staying there all by myself."
***
Andrew was sipping at his coffee distractedly, looking at the vast collection of CD’s Bill kept in his living room. From jazz to folk music and classic or baroque, he seemed to have each CD in sell all around the world.
"Annie was trying to put them in alphabetical order" the man said breaking the silence between them. "But she couldn’t decide whether it’d be by the singer’s name or the kind of music…"
"What will you do now, Bill?" Andrew asked.
The man sighed. "Keep on living somehow I guess… It’s just that I know I will never love someone like I loved her."
"To love someone like you loved Annie… that’s a lifetime experience, Bill, that’s the truth…"
Guessing there was something more than the friendly advice in the angel’s words, Bill ventured after a brief moment of silence, "Have you ever been so in love, Andrew?"
Andrew met the man’s eyes and he had to control himself not to shout in pain. "Yes, Bill, I have…"
When the blond angel looked away, the man knew there was a long story behind. "What happened? Where is she now?"
"I don’t know… I haven’t seen her in two months." Little by little the angel started to tell him all the story, how he had met Monica and how incredibly happy he had been for having her. "Ever since she’s been away my life hasn’t been whole. I miss her so much…"
Meeting the angel’s eyes again, Bill could see how true his words were and how he longed for the happiness that only Monica could give him. "And why aren’t you looking for her?" The angel frowned and said nothing. "Why are you here, grieving with me when you could be asking for her forgiveness?"
Andrew bent his head down. "You asked me to come…" he tried to argue.
"But I didn’t know you had something much better to do!" the man stood up and walked to the angel’s side. "You did a lot for Annie and me these days, Andrew," he placed a hand on the angel’s shoulder. "If you needed a push, I’m giving it to you. Go look for Monica, be happy…"
Seeing the true concern for him in the man’s eyes, Andrew offered him a hand. "Thank you, Bill."
***
Andrew appeared in the middle of a big living room where many old people were around. He saw two angels he knew well on the opposite side. Tess and Emma were talking to a thin woman in a wheelchair, helping her to eat.
"Oh, my…" Emma murmured as soon as she saw the angel.
"Hey, angelboy!" Tess greeted him and opened her arms to give him a hug. "Can I ask if this is a social visit or you’re here on assignment?"
Reaching to kiss Emma too, he explained, "More a social visit, Tess. No assignments here yet."
"Is this about what I think it is? Or better said, about who I think it is?" the dark skinned supervisor said eyeing him carefully. Andrew nodded and his green eyes showed all the pain in his heart. Emma felt sorry for him.
"I haven’t seen her, baby," Tess continued. "She asked for a time off and she hasn’t gotten any assignment since Jamal."
Andrew broke Tess’ gaze, unable to fight the wave of pain and guilt he was feeling. "Where is she, Tess?" he asked after a long minute.
"Andrew, I don’t…"
"She’s at the house by the beach where she was staying during the assignment," Emma interrupted the supervisor. "I saw her about a week ago and only the Father know how is she doing now…" When the blond angel turned to see her, Emma could tell he had tears prickling the corners of his eyes. "That poor baby is hurting as much as you are, Andrew. I had never seen two angels sharing a love like yours and I think I will never see it again. Fight for what you had, sweetheart! I’m afraid for Monica, Andrew," the older angel continued, "I’m afraid that if she continues in the state she is now, she won’t be an angel anymore…"
Andrew opened his eyes in absolute fear, "What?"
"Emma’s right," Tess intervened. "You need to see her to understand what we fear…"
For a second no one said another word until Andrew moved to hug both Tess and Emma. "I’ll see you soon."
"Go, baby, go to her," Tess told him before he was gone.
***
The sun was half hidden in the sea, giving the blue waters a warm touch of orange and red. The beach was completely empty except for the thin figure of a woman walking by the shore. Barefoot, arms wrapped around herself, she seemed as lost as the lonely seagull that crossed the sky, crying for the rest of its group. The small waves that reached to touch her feet didn’t give her the comfort they used to give her before, and the sensation could only be compared to that of the warm tears crossing her pale cheeks.
Andrew appeared by the limits of the garden of the house and saw her immediately. It was a sharp pain what he felt in his heart right away. Even from the distance it was obvious she had lost a lot of weight, and the helplessness it seemed to emanate from her made the angel want to run and hold her tightly and never let go again. He saw how she turned to walk back to the house and lifted her head. Then it happened.
His green eyes found hers naturally and for long minutes no one looked away. For Andrew it was now a physical pain not to take her in his arms when he could feel his skin burning for her touch and her caresses. It was just too much. He walked slowly towards her, sensing how her nervousness grew with each step he gave. He stopped when he was barely a couple of feet away.
"Andrew…" Monica murmured when they were face to face. He then could see her clearly. She was so pale and thin that her skin seemed almost transparent. Her eyes were as red as dark were the circles under them. It was painful just to see her. "Monica…" the blond angel whispered too and reached a hand to touch her cheek, but seeing how she tensed, he thought better and desisted. She seemed so fragile she’d get broken.
"Baby… what’s happened?" he continued a little later, fighting his tears that were ready to run free just like Monica’s.
"I don’t want to go back…" she explained, her arms still around her as if closing herself to anyone around. "I just don’t feel like doing casework again."
"Why?" Andrew whispered unable to believe what he was hearing.
"The last assignment… it just hurt so much…" she was crying again but did nothing to reach for him. Andrew let her cry for a minute, before she kept on talking. "I know I hurt you too… so badly… and now that you are here… I just want to say I’m sorry…"
Andrew took a sharp breath at her last words. He felt he had been the one hurting her, doubting her love, yelling at her when she was doing nothing but protecting him! And no she was the one asking for forgiveness?
Seeing he remained silent, Monica felt her pain grow ten times deeper and her sobs became harder. "Please, forgive me!" she begged. "I know I hurt you. I know you may not want to know about me anymore and I’m not asking you to come back with me…" she said and her teary eyes met his that were equally wet as tears were now running along the blond angel’s cheeks. "All I’m asking you is that you remember that I loved you so much, more than my life itself… and that I did it all to save you, even if I had to lose the joy of my heart in the process…"
"Don’t say you loved me…" he asked. She lowered her head sure he was still so mad and hurt he would never forgive her. Andrew saw how she frowned and bit her inner cheek.
Just then he reached to tilt her chin delicately, until her brown eyes were looking at him again. "Don’t say you loved me…" he repeated and painfully slowly he placed a hand over her cheek. "Say you still love me and that you’ll love me again."
It took Monica a long moment to accept what he was saying, what he was asking her. She didn’t want to believe what he was saying, fearing she was just dreaming and she would wake up to a reality of pain and loneliness. But his hand on her cheek felt so real, so warm. She had longed for that touch so much in the last two months that she closed her eyes and reached a hand to cover Andrew’s. "Andrew…" she murmured.
Andrew saw her leaning over his hand and knew he wouldn’t stand it longer. When she slowly opened her eyes, his heart broke in a thousand pieces at the deep pain he could guess in the face he loved so much, so he wasted no time and pulled her into a desperately tight hug.
"I’m so sorry, baby," he said I the lowest voice. "I hurt you so much, I had no right, I was so blind!" He cried shamelessly, his face buried in her long hair, his tears wetting her shoulder and neck.
"Andrew… my Andrew, my love…" she cried too against his neck. It was like she was releasing her own soul with each sob, and her small fingers clutched his shirt until her knuckles were white. He was there, holding her close to him and it was all that mattered to her in that moment.
"I hurt you so much. I made you suffer instead of trying to know what you were doing," he kept on murmuring still holding her.
"You couldn’t know…" she replied finally pulling away of his hold.
"I should’ve known better," Andrew told her with a clear note of guilt in his voice. "I should’ve known you were doing it for me… Please, forgive me!" He was stroking her cheek with so much love that her legs would’ve failed her hadn’t he been still circling her waist.
"I am the one that has to ask for forgiveness, Andrew," she said also placing a hand on his cheek. "Breaking up with you was the hardest thing I have ever done… It was like giving up my own life."
"That’s how it felt, baby," he kissed her forehead. "I felt my life was slipping through my fingers and I couldn’t stop it…"
"I cried so much… so many nights after you were gone…" she confessed touching his chin with her forehead and running her hands over his back as if still trying to prove he was there.
"You won’t cry again, Monica," the blond angel told her, his eyes locked with hers, "unless they are happy tears." She smiled tenderly and that smile was for Andrew like finally watching a small spot of a clear sky among the dark clouds of a long storm.
He couldn’t say another word, he couldn’t think of anything else. He caressed her cheek again, looking at her in pure adoration for a long minute before he slowly leaned down until his lips found hers, and they melted in a kiss they had thought they would never experience again.
The sun was setting down, covering in a purple semi-light the beach and the silhouettes of two lovers lost in the sweetest moment of their lives.
THE END
UNBREAK MY HEART (Toni Braxton)
Don’t leave me in all this pain
Don’t leave me out in the rain
Come back and bring back my smile
Come and take these tears away
I need your arms to hold me now
The nights are so unkind
Bring back those nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you’ll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Take back that sad word good-bye
Bring back the joy to my life
Don’t leave me here with these tears
Come and kiss this pain away
I can’t forget the day you left
Time is so unkind
And life is so cruel without you here beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you’ll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many nights
Un-break my heart
My heart
Don’t leave me in all this pain
Don’t leave me out in the rain
Bring back the nights when I held you beside me
Un-break my heart
Say you’ll love me again
Undo this hurt you caused
When you walked out the door
And walked outta my life
Un-cry these tears
I cried so many, many nights
Un-break my
Un-break my heart
Come back and say you love me
Un-break my heart
Sweet darlin’
Without you I just can’t go on
Can’t go on
PS. So… did I redeem myself after the long months of agony? LOL! Thank you all for reading this story and for your replies, broken knees, yelling and slaps included. Love you all!