Tenacious D
“I’m chafing!” – Jack Black
“Um, that’s ‘Fuck Her Gently,’ Carson.” – Kyle Gass
“DO NOT FEAR THE D! ALL THE LADIES MUST EMBRACE MY BIG, TENACIOUS D!” – Me, after a few shots
Albums Reviewed:
Jack Black (the fat one) and Kyle Gass (the fatter and bald one) are funny. VERY funny. Fortunately, they also write some neat songs. That’s a good combination. Jack, in addition to being a competent guitar player, is a damn good singer. K.G., in addition to being a competent singer, is a damn good guitar player. And Dave Grohl played drums on their album. Brad likes Dave Grohl. Brad also likes the funny. Brad likes The D more than Earwig, Leech, and Parasite. Brad also likes The V more than The D, if you catch his drift. AND I THINK YOU DO!
Tenacious D (2001)
Rating: 9
Best Song: “Fuck Her Gently”
Best Skit Thingy: “One-Note Song”
“So, do you think that, when this album is out, it’ll make us, um…more attractive…to the ladies?”
“Psshh, yeah. In fact, I’ve been gettin’ ready.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, I’ve been doin’ cock pushups.”
“Cock pushups?”
“Yeah.”
“What’re those?”
“It’s where you fucking lay down flat, on the ground…”
“Yeah.”
“…and then you let your boner lift you up off the ground.”
“N-No, it’s…that’d be impossible. Your cock could support your whole weight?”
“Well, not at first.”
“Yeah.”
“But over time.”
“Hmmm…how many pushups can you do?”
“Cock pushups?”
“Yeah…I guess you could only do one, really.”
“Yeah, one is all you need.”
“BUT
IT MAKES NON-STOP ROCKING POSSIBLE!!!!!”
The Pick Of Destiny (2006)
Rating: 8
Best Song: “Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)”
Best Skit Thingy:
It’s a movie soundtrack. There aren’t
any, which kind of sucks, actually. Not
that the lack of skits will prevent me from just quoting some stuff again and
not writing an actual review. Observe.
“Oh the dragons balls were blazin'
as I stepped into his cave,
Then I sliced his fuckin' cockles,
With a long and shiney blade!
'Twas I who fucked the dragon,
Fuckalize sing-fuckaloo!
And if you try to fuck with me,
Then I shall fuck you toooooooo!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta suck
a chode in the party zone!”
“I’m the devil!!!!
I like metal!!!!
Check this riff!!!!
It’s FUCKING TASTY!!!!!!!!!”