Zwan
“What? Zwar? Zinan?” – Al
“Lots of standard power chords and typical guitar whines - nothing spectacular or particularly memorable.” – Kristel
“That is the fruitiest T-shirt I have ever seen in my life.” – Me
Albums Reviewed:
When I found out Billy Corgan was putting together a new band, frankly, I wasn’t that enthused. I mean, I knew I’d buy their album and all, but the Pumpkins hadn’t been REALLY good since the mid-nineties. However, as it turns out, Zwan is not bad at all! Better than I thought they’d be. And they sound less like the Pumpkins than I figured they would, though the similarities are inevitable, with Billy singing and Jimmy Chamberlin hitting the skins. Those two guys made Siamese Dream by THEMSELVES, remember.
Anyway,
this band’s a lot less angsty and (for the most part) artsy than Billy’s
previous group, but they are quite good.
Quite good indeed. What’s funny
to me, though, is how much they LOOK like The Smashing Pumpkins, like
physically. After Billy and Jimmy, Paz
Lenchantin (bass, formerly (and maybe still?) of Maynard James Keenan’s
side-project
And onto the review(s)!
Mary Star Of The Sea (2003)
Rating: 8
Best Song: “Jesus I/Mary Star Of The Sea”
Well, color me pleasantly surprised.
Seriously, what deep, dark recess of Billy Corgan’s skinny, bald brain did this very good, highly enjoyable, poppy rock and roll record come from? It’s his best release since Mellon Collie! Shibby, man. Shibby. When I first listened to it, I didn’t like it much, though. See, I was expecting to find it thoroughly uninspired and mediocre, for a couple of reasons. First, all the Machina-era Pumpkins stuff left me with the impression that Billy’s songwriting mojo had waved him bye-bye. Second, I actually saw these guys live a few months ago, before the album came out. And they were BAD. I mean BAD. On every song the three guitars just sort of blended into a distorted mush from which I couldn’t make out any discernable notes or chords while Billy sang a melody that sounded disturbingly like a Machina outtake. Then, though, they played this WICKED-AWESOME 15-minute long thing at the end that COMPLETELY saved their set, but not enough to prevent Coldplay, who played next, from just DESTROYING them in every way possible. Man, did Coldplay kick arse.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t go and buy the album the day it came out. I did. And when I first played it I came away with the distinct impression of “eh.” Every time the band used some sort of synth or feedback noise that sounded REMOTELY like the Machina albums, I immediately went “A-HA! It’s just Machina III!!” But, see, that was a mistake. This sounds NOTHING like Machina! I mean, the stupid little backing synths he employs on stuff like “El Sol” and “Desire” DO reinforce my opinion that Congress should enact a law preventing Billy from coming within 100 feet of a synthesizer ever again, but they’re only in a couple songs, and they never continue for the ENTIRE song, just for a verse, or a chorus, or a bridge, or whatever. Album would’ve been better without ‘em, though, that’s for sure.
It’s still quite good, however, which, as I said before, was pretty much a complete shock to me. What I figure is that Billy FINALLY got tired of trying to be “the spokesman of a generation” and “all artsy and pretentious and shit” and just wanted to make some, you know, FUN rock music. Other than the guitar tone (which is poppier than on Pumpkins releases) and the people backing him up (group effort my ASS, I mean, who wrote ALL THE SONGS?), the most striking difference in this album from Pumpkins releases is the subject matter. I mean, what self-respecting Pumpkins album would have song titles like “Endless Summer” or “Yeah!” or, for fuck’s sake, “Baby Let’s Rock!?” And “Baby Let’s Rock!”, except for the stupid synth-y “I dream about you every night…” bridge, is fucking COOL! It’s POWER POP! “Baby I’m the greatest thing you got!” It’s dumb, catchy fun! Which is something you can say about, oh, ZERO Smashing Pumpkins songs.
Ofcourse, there are a few lackluster songs on here (“Heartsong” isn’t that great, “Of A Broken Heart” is mediocre as the token ballad, “Desire” is pretty fucking bad), but most everything is just good, solid, fun, hooky rock. Billy’s settled into some sort of middle-aged-man groove. He’s not reaching for what he’s not able to do anymore (like he was doing with a lot of the artsier stuff on the Machina albums), and instead he’s just splurching out catchy rock like he has explosive diarrhea. “Ride A Black Swan” has an awful title, but rules my ass with a guitar tone straight out of “Bodies” (from Mellon Collie) in the chorus. The single, “Honestly,” is so happy and fun you just CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE Billy is singing it. “Settle Down?” SHIT yeah. That song is AWESOME. Love that bass/drum intro. I already mentioned “Baby Let’s Rock!”, but the fact that BILLY CORGAN is doing a song like this is so goddamn cool, and listen to this harmonies in the chorus! Paz Lenchantin did something besides laying down the bass parts Billy told her to! Sweet.
Oh shit…have I been saying he doesn’t care about being artsy anymore? Well, fuck that shit. “Jesus I/Mary Star Of The Sea” is FOURTEEN MINUTES of artsy rock posing, but, the thing is, IT’S THAT AWESOME THING THEY PLAYED AT THEIR OTHERWISE CRAPPY SHOW! And on CD? Even better! It starts out with some relatively soft plucking, before Billy goes “Jeeeeesuuuuuuuuuuus, I have taken myyyyyyyy croooooooooss!” He does a bunch of other stuff, and the song keeps building up, before it STOPS for the super-relaxing middle section, which is broken up by (*GASP*), a vintage Pumpkins guitar sound! Like from Siamese Dream!! Then it turns into like “Starla Jr.” or something, with Jimmy delivering some of the most ridiculous drum fills I’ve heard in my life. It’s one serious mother-fucker of a song, but it RULES. Mercilessly. And it PROVES Billy’s got his mojo back, since, if he had tried something like this on Machina, you KNOW it would have turned out hideously. Also, frankly, I’m glad he decided to stick a light little coda song on the end, like Siamese Dream had “Luna” to calm you down after “SilverFUCK.” The acoustic/harmonica “Come With Me” is more irresistibly catchy fun, and it really needs to be where it is, because you can’t just STOP after “Jesus I/Mary Star Of The Sea,” though I suppose you could. It’d be fucking stupid, though.
In short, Billy’s back, because I think he realized he wasn’t what he used to be, so he set his sights a little lower and made the most unpretentious Billy record since Gish. “Jesus I/Mary Star Of The Sea” partly shoots that theory to hell, but it’s so darn AWESOME I don’t care. Brilliant song. And very good, solid album.
I have two questions, though. First, why does Billy credit himself as “Billy Burke” in the liner notes? Who is Billy Burke? Someone please fill me in. Second, WHO THE FUCK TOLD BILLY HE LOOKED GOOD WITH A GOATEE!!!!????
Oleg
Sobolev (dima@aspol.ru) writes:
zwan?! Zwan?! ZWAN?! ZWAN?! FUCKING ZWAN?!
Why Bill The Whiny Guy didn't go by "The Smashing Pumpkins" is beyond me. See, Pumpkins had Bill and Jim. Did that chick or that Japanese guy mean something? BIG NO! And now? Once again, Bill The Whine and Jimmy The Drum. Does that chick and two ugly boring guys with guitars mean something? BIG NO!
See, it's Smashing Pumpkins. And their new album FUCKING SUCKS. Yup, you heard right. Billy does the different stuff from all his last Adore and Machina things, but, anyway, it sucks. Sucks big and tasty cock.
And Jimmy rules. He is
probably the most talanted guy ever stuck in the VERY mediocre band. I wish
he'd been in some other band. Like Tool, they rool.
Al Lazaris writes:
did you hear zwan
has broken up. i guess billy liked the band just as much as you did and canned
it.
Pedro Andino (pedroandino@msn.com) writes:
eat cock oleg! I cut ya'
fucking dick if you diss 'em again! I told you you guys are the biggest
cocksuckers ever! except for peter ross he rocks! I taped a show at the
1.depeche mode
2.steve vai w/ david lee
roth!
3.outkast
4.queensryche
anyways I am still in love
with 6 things!:
anime girls with big boobs!
superman vs. the flash!
the death of
yes!
and
hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooold on hoooooooooooold on the song itself!.
don't test me cause I am here
again and vh1 sucks cocks oh by the way did you see the new madonna video with
dem pink leotards?! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm milf attack!. yeah milf!
anyway my name is vrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Pedro Andino (pedroandino@msn.com) writes:
see I tell ya' that madonna
is one fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine woman! anyway brad did you see that harry potter
flick? yes oh yeah I heard genesis albums with peter gabriel that sounded like
the movie and also hermione is a babe! also I just found out that I seen the
flick because I read the books. and also I was so in love with harry potter
that daniel radcliffe is so cute! maybe if I am gay I will make out with that
dude! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! making love is so good I am drunk! when
are you gonna put on outkast?.
Pedro Andino (pedroandino@msn.com) writes:
billy corgan is not a man to
deal with! he is ether an egomanaic or a genius guy! zwan is a new band that
like all other superbands exploded before they even have a chance to make it!
just like cream or