HOME GERRY		THE OLYMPICS By Cousin Gerry The Olympics are upon us, which will please the sporting purists, But the down side is that we'll be swamped by lots of foreign tourists. And sure, we should be nice to them, go up and say G'day, But remember, as you help them out, the price we've had to pay. 'Cos even though our taxes are putting on the show The tourists all come jetting in, but we can't afford to go. So if you're sitting round at home, and your anger needs relievin' Go out and find some visitors, and start to make things even. When you greet them at the airport, put their bags back on the plane; Send them out on picnics when you know it's gunna rain; Open up their Handycams and fiddle with the wires, Go and let the air out of the tour bus's tyres. Say "The sun won't burn you if you stare directly at it"; And if they see a funnelweb, tell them they can pat it. Sell them faulty souvenirs, make fun of how they talk, If they ask the way to Alice Springs, tell them they can walk. Give them wrong directions, laugh at foreign names 'Cause why should athletes have all the fun at our Olympic Games?