HOME PICTURES		PICTURES – FINAL FAST FICTIONS SHOW Leaping Larry L opens the show. James 'The Hound Dog' and David 'The Body' arriveth. "Bod, 'True Fact' me." Bodnick shares his 1997 obsessions with us. The Greeky Pants, The Nazi, The Hound Dog, and his Beef Master. "Fucking bastard, poofter, melon-arse!" (see below) The End of Fast Fictions. The following was performed by James and David at the final Fast Fictions show: From the transcript of a pre-trial hearing that took place in a criminal court in Adelaide, Australia, before Judge Roy Grubb. In the transcript below, a prisoner is Yusuf Biyikli, a Turkish immigrant charged with "assault occasioning actual bodily harm" - Mr Smart is the attorney for the Crown. (The charge is read) PRISONER: Shut up, fucking poofter. You poofter, thank you. HIS HONOR: You just keep quiet, we will have a word with you in a moment. PRISONER: Fuck to you. All right, you poofter. All right, I fuck you. That is answer. HIS HONOR: It is said that you assaulted.... PRISONER: Fuck the English, fuck the colony, all right. HIS HONOR: If you don't shut up..... PRISONER: Fuck the judge too. That is not true. HIS HONOR: Do we assume this is a plea of not guilty? MR SMART: Yes, I think we can assume that. PRISONER: I fuck you, answer you, stuff you, poofter. Is that enough for you answer? HIS HONOR: That is no answer, but I take it as a plea of not guilty. In view of the outrageous outburst from the accused, I assume that the torrent of language from him is a plea of not guilty to each count. Remanded for trial. Has someone been imprudent enough to grant a bail agreement? MR SMART: I hesitate to ask him. PRISONER: Fuck you. HIS HONOR: Do you wish to ask for bail? PRISONER: You ask yourself bail, poofter. Now ask me. HIS HONOR: I don't have to ask. PRISONER: Fuck the bail, fuck Australia. HIS HONOR: I take it, then, that you don't wish to seek bail. PRISONER: Stuff that. HIS HONOR: No application for bail. The accused is remanded for trial in custody. PRISONER: Fucking bastard, poofter, melon-arse.