Attn: Mr. Taft
From: Human Dream Systems-Quality Improvement Team

Dear Mr. Taft,

We have been informed by our quality control dream department that you have been accidentally caught in a violent delusional rift (VDR) that is associated with the frequent use of over the counter medications and certain types of hot sauces.

We are very sorry for the inconvenience and will have your dream state returned to normal within the next week to 10 business days.

The VDR in your case has created a series of distortions in reality:

1) The Buffalo Sabres appearance in the Stanley Cup final last June. In reality they are a .500 team and will always be so.

2) The St. Louis Rams did not win a Superbowl. The evidence of the VDR here is realized by looking at the dream itself. The Rams in your dream won a Superbowl with a no name from the world League. This is not possible in reality. The Rams are owned by a woman. Again this is not possible in the real world. Kurt Warner is actually gay and consorts with a pretty boy that has grayish spiked hair and likes to wear hideous blue blouses. Your VDR may have indicated that this person was female and his wife.

3) The VDR also may have shown the Rams playing a football team from Tennessee. The reality to this is in Tennessee they can't spell football. Obviously to actually play in a Superbowl is delusional. Our sources tell us that most people from Tennessee think football is some sort of fancy barefoot barn dance, which actually requires them to wash their feet.

Again, we apologize for not catching this sooner and hope your life returns to normal as soon as possible. Which according to our records, is hopeless and pathetic. Enjoy!

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