A funny thing happened on the way to the airport from Splint XVII.

It was the usual post Splint silliness. We reveled in our debauchery and compared hangover symptoms over eggs at Sutters. I was playing taxi to the airport for the Westchester boys. Carl, Andy, Phil and myself were joined by Klaus at the Mule Palace. Klaus was a little more disoriented than the rest of us and he appeared to be sweating a little. Not a good sign. Over breakfast we discussed the usual and a weird set of stories about puking. Style, content, timeliness...that sort of thing. We decided that some how all the above mentioned would cram into my little Integra for the trip to the Airport.

Klaus left his glasses at The Grill, so we would stop there on the way. Watching these gas-bloated men squeeze into the back of my car was hysterical in itself but the fun was just starting. As we pulled out of the lot, Herr Klaus was looking mighty pale. As we headed past the LaSalle station, Klaus told us about a party at the apartment next to Broadway Holes, and seemed to suggest that his queasiness was worsening and he might have to be sick. I increased speed and asked if he could make it to The Grill. He said something like "URRppp...yea I think so." I noticed he was a weird shade of green at this point and he was in the middle back. Phil and Carl on either side were having a hard time breathing due to cramped conditions, and this news made it even harder. We all started having visions of the barf-o-rama.

We passed Hertle Ave and I noticed the car was handling quite poorly with the additional 1/2 ton load. The car was bouncing and swaying and Klaus asked how much further. I replied about a minute if we get the lights. We didn't. We halted one light from the Grill at Amherst. I'm in the middle lane with cars all around us. Klaus says "My cheek is twitching, I'm not gonna make it". The look of panic on the passengers was priceless. The sheer terror of what was about to happen caused me to accelerate through the red light and take a quick right at the "Chick n' Flix". By now Andy had developed a plan of action and began reciting the drill before I could pull over. Get the seat up...pull him out...go go go!

Klaus extricated himself from the vehicle. If you thought it was funny watching the hefties getting in you, should have seen this bizarre Chinese fire drill. Poor Klaus! We have all been there before, and could taste his pain. He left it all there on the sidewalk for the world to see...or did he? With the emergency abated we continued to the Grill. Carl, Phil and Klaus walked the rest of the way. We hooked up with Slug-lite and we each had a soda and continued on with the post Splint banter.

Okay time to get going. We loaded up once again but now Andy was in the back and Klaus co-pilot for obvious reasons. Klaus is carrying a Kinko's bag, also for obvious reasons. The trip was uneventful but the car was now riding worse with Andy's girth in the back. As we rounded the airport loop I noticed Klaus swallowing hard. I increased speed to flank and Klaus once again expressed the possibility of disaster. We approached the departure loading area and Klaus says "Uh-Oh, my cheek is twitching again." Andy and company suggested we just pull right over on the ramp outside the airport. We did, and Klaus did ...again. A bitter-sweet, symbolic gesture and personal paean to Buffalo. Man, I was feeling bad for him. Normally when you purge the system things get better. Klaus was still in the purge phase and that's the worst.

The ending of this is the funniest. The boys were unloading the luggage and poor Klaus was doubled over off to the side and behind us a few yards. As this was occurring a black car pulled up directly behind us. It had a Pizza Hut sign on the top. A uniformed pizza guy popped out, grabbed a pie and headed right for us. Seinfeld once said comedy is tragedy plus timing. Perhaps, but when Phil announced "Bret...your pizza is here" I think there are moments where situations are pure comedy. I hope Klaus doesn't think we were laughing at his pain. But the odds of a pizza guy walking up behind us at that moment were unbelievable.

Finally heading for the terminal, Andy (always the humanitariam) asks Klaus "Do you have your Kinko's?" Will it never end?