TITLE: Cold Comfort
AUTHOR: Mari
RATING: PG-13 at the highest
SPOILERS: Through 'Welcome to Pltz Grb'
DISCLAIMER: Joss owns all. I'm just playing in his sandbox.
PAIRING: Minor Fred/Angel
CATEGORY: Angst
DISTRIBUTION: Just tell me where it'll be going
FEEDBACK: Muchly loved
AUTHOR'S NOTE: It's a bit rough, as I was determined to get this out before I wind up being completely and utterly Jossed, but I can't help but see the chemistry between Angel and Fred. Definite possibilities there.
He didn't move, he didn't speak. If it weren't for Angel's never ending trembling Fred would have had doubts as to whether or not he was alive. As it was, she was beginning to have doubts as to whether *she* was alive. Her life had fallen into a miserable, never changing pattern since she was thrust into Pylea, that much she *was* able to remember. Steal, run, kill when she had to. Survive. None of that included having intensely handsome strangers swoop her off a chopping block and ride off with her. That was the kind of thing that only happened in the fairy tales that she could just barely remember. Of course, those childhood stories normally didn't involve the charming prince turning into a demon and then falling into a catatonic state after the rescue. "Maybe I am still alive," Fred said softly. She looked down as the shivering form next to her whimpered softly. "Angel?" Fred asked, scarcely daring to bring her voice above a whisper. "Are you coming back?" When there was no response, Fred bit her lip and struggled to force back the tears that suddenly sprang up in her eyes. You learned quickly here that tears were worthless. "Please?"

The soft, measured tones intruded in on Angel's tortured thoughts, refusing to be shoved away no matter how he tried. Angel shivered and drew further into himself. He didn't want to listen to the voice, didn't want to hear Fred's shattered innocence and fear. He didn't want to return to his duty, not yet. Maybe not ever.

The thing ... that monster that shared his body, that *was* him in his purest essence, if he could find the strength to admit it to himself ... it's hideous image was tattooed firmly across his brain. Angel moaned and was disgusted when he felt himself begin to shiver more violently. After all the difficulties of the past year, all the inroads he had thought he was making to accepting his true self, he was right back to where he had been nearly one hundred years before. Shaking, alone, filled with self-loathing.

The voice continued, cracking slightly as Fred grew more desperate. "Please come back, Angel, please. I don't wanna be alone here anymore." Warm wetness began falling on Angel's face. A drop rolled slowly into his mouth and he tasted salt. Tears? Fred was crying?

"You shouldn't be wasting your tears," Angel whispered hoarsely.

A happy cry was pulled from Fred's throat at the first sign of sentience from the vampire in hours. She lay down beside Angel, scooching close until their nose were only a few inches apart. "Angel?" she asked, considering the possibility that maybe she was just crazy and had imagined the sound. Angel opened his eyes to look at her and Fred recoiled slightly at the raw pain there.

Angel misunderstood the meaning behind the gesture and shook his head. "You see it, don't you? You know what kind of monster I am."

"I... I don't think you're a monster," Fred ventured. Their faces were so close that Angel was able to feel the warmth of her breath on his cheeks, hear the steady beating of her heart. Soft, measured. Not racing like Angel expected it to be. "You saved me." The barest trace of a smile touched Fred's lips. "That puts you closer to Prince Charming than the Boogey Man, doesn't it?"

The joke, pulled from the depths of her hazy memories, was supposed to lighten things, but Angel only closed his eyes again. "Monster," he repeated.

Fear rose sharply in Fred's mind. "Angel?" she called, afraid that he was retreating back into whatever abyss had been claiming him all afternoon. "Oh, no, please don't go away, please don't, I'm sorry-" She moved herself even closer to Angel, so that her tears smeared across his cheeks. Any lower and their lips would be brushing, Fred realized in a disjointed, semi-hysterical way. She nearly gave in to an insane urge to laugh.

Angel was intimate with the sounds of someone teetering on the edge of panic, both from the people he had harmed in the past and the ones he now struggled to help. It pierced through Angel's own self-pity and loathing and he struggled to sit up against stiff, protesting muscles. It had been an eventful day, but he didn't want to think about that. "Fred, Fred," Angel said, pulling the woman into a sitting position and shaking her very gently. "Hey. I'm back." Fred's terror at the possibility of being alone again diminished slightly and her heart rate began to slow. She stared at Angel with tears standing out in her eyes. "I won't leave again, I promise." The same images and memories that had driven him into his dark pit were still there, simmering just below the surface, but he resisted the urge to give in to that despair again. In place of surrender Angel reached for Fred's hand, drawing comfort from her warmth and giving a reassuring squeeze in thanks. His duty was to help the hopeless, not to let his personal weaknesses rule him. Angel gently helped Fred to her feet and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Do you believe me?" Very slight nod in response. "Okay. We're going to find my friends and then we're going to find a way to get the Hell out of here."

What might have been a smile twitched the corners of Fred's mouth for a moment. "I like that idea," she responded.

"So do I," Angel said, pausing a moment to struggle with another wave of dark despair, but it was weaker than the previous ones had been. He avoided looking at the pool where he had first seen his reflection. "More than you know." As they left the cave Fred leaned against Angel and, after a beat, put her arm around his waist, fumbling to shove her glasses further up on her nose with her other hand. Angel glanced down at Fred's mass of dark hair, wondering how she had found the inner strength necessary to survive in such a place for so long. Wondering how many others would have been able to do the same. Angel's fingers curled in Fred's hair and she glanced up at him quickly for a moment, blushing.

"Thank you," Fred said in a soft voice. Angel's brow furrowed and he glanced down and into Fred's frank brown eyes. "For not leaving me there, alone," Fred clarified.

Angel cupped her chin for just a moment before quickly dropping his hand. "Thank you for doing the same."

END