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Something to talk about. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Back to the index | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
These are not trivia questions, so don't bother to look here for the name of Tonto's horse or the shortstop for the 1923 Yankees. These are questions of a different sort - questions about you. They are about your values, your beliefs, and your life. Here is an enjoyable way to find out more about yourself and others, and confront ethical dilemmas in a concrete rather than abstract form. To respond to these questions you will need to examine and interpret your past, project yourself into hypothetical situations, face difficult dilemmas, and make painful choices. These questions can be an avenue for individual growth, a tool for deepening relationships, a quick way to get to know a stranger, or merely a pleasant amusement. These questions expose issues that warrant deep, solitary reflection, but are also particularly stimulating when explored with others. You will be surprised how effectively these questions catalyze unusual and rewarding discussions. |
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When conversing, we often exchange small talk without being very involved in our conversation; broach the questions here and see what happens. Start giving yourself permission to voice those dangerous questions you've never been quite willing to ask, those provocative thoughts whispered by an inner voice and then forgotten. Too frequently we pull back from bringing up questions that seem awkward or intrusive, yet these are the very ones that will open paths to understanding and intimacy. When people encounter someone inquisitive who genuinely wants to hear what they have to say, far from being offended, they are usually eager to talk about the important things on their minds. |
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There are no correct or incorrect answers to these questions, only honest or dishonest ones. Can you know what you would do in a strange hypothetical situation? Of course you can't, but why let that inhibit you? This is a chance to gain insights without actually living through the predicaments described. Let yourself be swept up in these situations so that you care about the choices that you make. Resist the temptation to escape from a question by denying its reality or coming up with some complication that obscures the basic issue. Ignore the paradoxes of time travel and the impossibility of various magical powers. Accept the conditions that are described, that odds are accurate, that promises will be kept, and furthermore, that you know this when you make your decisions. |
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1.For a person that you loved deeply, would you be willing to move to a distant country knowing there would be little chance of seeing your friends or family again? |
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2.If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven't you told them yet? |
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3.If you could spend one year in perfect happiness but afterward would remember nothing of the experience would you do so? If not, why? |
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4.If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1 percent of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public? |
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5.You discover that your wonderful one-year-old child is, because of a mix-up at the hospital, not yours. Would you want to exchange the child to try to correct the mistake? |
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6.Do you think the world will be a better place in 100 years? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
7.Would you rather be a member of a world championship sports team or the be the champion of an individual sport? Which sport would you choose? |
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8.Would you accept $1,000,000. to leave the country and never set foot in it again? |
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9.Which sex do you think has it easier in our culture? Have you ever wished that you were of the opposite sex? |
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10.You are given the power to kill people simply by thinking of their deaths and twice repeating the words "good-bye." People would die a natural death and no one would ever suspect you. Are there any situations in which you would use this power? |
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11.If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? |
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12.What would constitute a "perfect" evening for you? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
13.Would you rather be extremely successful professionally and have a tolerable yet unexciting private life, or have an extremely happy private life and only a tolerable and uninspiring professional life? |
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14.Whom do you admire most? In what way does that person inspire you? |
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15.If at birth you could select the profession your child would eventually pursue, would you do so? |
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16.Would you be willing to become extremely ugly physically if it meant you would life for 1,000 years at any physical age? |
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17.If you could wake up tomorrow morning having gained any one ability or quality what would it be? |
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18.You have the chance to meet someone with whom you can have the most satisfying love imaginable - the stuff dreams are made of. Sadly, you know that in six months this person will die. Knowing the pain that would follow, would you still want to meet the person and fall in love? What if you knew that your lover would not die, but instead would betray you? |
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19.If you knew of a way to use your estate, following your death, to greatly benefit humanity, would you do it and leave only a minimal amount to your family? |
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20.If you could use a voodoo doll to hurt anyone that you choose, would you? |
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21.While on a trip to another city, your spouse spends the night with an exciting stranger. Given that they will never meet again, and you will not otherwise learn of the incident, would you want your partner to tell you about it? If roles were reversed, would you reveal what you have done? |
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22.Are there people you envy enough to want to trade lives with them? Who are they? |
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23.For an all-expense-paid, one-week vacation anywhere in the world, would you be willing to kill a beautiful butterfly by pulling off its wings? What about stepping on a cock-roach? |
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24.Would you be willing to murder an innocent person if it would end hunger in the world? |
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25.If God appeared to you in a series of seemingly vivid and moving dreams and told you to leave everything behind, travel alone to the Red Sea and become a fisherman, what would you do? Have you ever had dreams this real? |
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26.What is your most treasured memory? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
27.Have you ever hated anyone? If so, why and for how long? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
28.Would you rather be given $10,000 for your own use or $100,000 to give anonymously to strangers? What if you could keep $1,000,000 or give away $20,000,000? |
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29.If you knew there would be a nuclear war in one week what would you do? |
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30.Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant that you would die at the end of the period? |
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31.What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? Is there anything that you hope to do that is even better? |
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32.What was your most enjoyable dream? your worst nightmare? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
33.Would you give up half of what you own now for a pill that would permanently change you so that one hour of sleep each day would fully refresh you? |
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34.If you knew that you could devote yourself to any single occupation -- music, writing, acting, business, politics, medicine, etc. -- and be among the best and most successful in the world at it, what would you choose? If you knew you only had a 10% chance of being so successful, would you still put in the effort? |
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35.What was your best experience with drugs or alcohol? your worst? |
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36.If the person you engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it? |
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37.Your house containing everything you own, catches fire; after saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? |
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38.How would you react if you were to learn that your mate had a lover of the same sex before you met each other? 39.You are offered $1,000,000 for the following act: Before you are ten pistols -- only one of which is loaded. You must pick up one of the pistols, point it at your forehead, and pull the trigger. If you can walk away you do so a millionaire. Would you accept the risk? |
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40.Someone close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die within a month. He begs you to give him poison so that he can die. Would you? What if it were your father? |
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41.You have the power to go any distance into the future and, after one year, return to the present with any knowledge you have gained from your experience but with no physical objects. Would you take the journey if it carried a 50% chance of death? |
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42.Given a choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? as your close friend? your lover? |
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43.While parking late a night, you slightly scrape the side of a Porsche. You are certain no one else is aware of what happened. The damage is minor and would not be covered by insurance. Would you leave a note? |
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44.If you could choose the manner of your death, what would it be? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
45.For what in your life do you feel most grateful? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
46.How do you react when people sing " happy birthday" to you in a restaurant? |
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47.What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering? Anything causing even minor physical injury should not be considered. |
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48.Would you like your spouse to be both smarter and more attractive than you? |
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49.Would you be willing to give up sex for one year if you knew it would give you a much deeper sense of peace that you have right now? |
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50.A good friend pulls off a well-conceived practical joke that plays on one of your foibles and makes you look ridiculous. How do you react? |
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51.By controlling medical research funds, you are in the position to guarantee that a cure will be found in 15 years for any disease that you choose. Unfortunately, no progress on any others would be made during that period. Would you target one disease? |
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52.Would you add one year to your life if it meant taking one year from the life of someone in the world selected at random? Would it matter if you were told whose life had shortened? |
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53.If you walked out of your house one morning and saw a bird with a broken wing huddled in some nearby bushes, what would you do? |
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54.Assume there were a technological breakthrough that would allow people to travel as easily between continents as between nearby cities. Unfortunately, there would be 100,000 deaths a year from the device. Would you try to prevent its use? |
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55.You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed unless one of you presses your button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first to press the button will save the other person, but will immediately be killed. What do you think you would do? |
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56.When you tell a story, do you often exaggerate or embellish it? If so, why? |
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57.Do you feel that advise from older people carries a greater weight because of their greater experience? |
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58.Without your kidney as a transplant someone close to you will die within a month. The odds that you will survive the operation are only 50% , but should you survive you would be certain a normal life expectancy. Would you consent to the operation. |
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59.Has your life dramatically changed as the result of a seemingly random external influence? How much do you feel in control of the course of your life? |
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60.If a friend were almost always late would you resent it or simply allow for it? Can YOU be counted on to be on time? |
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61. Do your close friends tend to be older or younger than you? |