When you work you are a flute through whose heart the whispering of the hours turns to music.
...And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart,
even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth....
-Kahlil Gibran

My life. Wow. Thinking back on it, I wonder how so much fit into 28 years. And things are heating up still. Although I have to admit that during most of those years things were pretty un-weird. Then they started getting really weird. But I guess I should start more or less from the beginning. I'm the third of 6 kids; Hector and Anna are older than me, and Miguel, Juanita, and Emilio are the younger ones. I've always kind of been set apart from things. Of my own will. People say that I'm an individualist. Other people just say I'm weird. Maybe I'm both.

When I was 7, that's when I decided what sort of path I wanted to start down. I made friends with a man who taught martial arts at a studio near my home. I peeked in the window all the time to watch everyone and finally he came out and asked me if I was interested. Of course, I was. But money was tight and as much as I wanted lessons, there was no way I could see affording them. I sure couldn't ask my mom and pop, that wouldn't have been right. But the man told me that he would work out arrangements for me to work off the money by helping out around the studio. Said he saw something in me. Like I would turn down an offer like that. I started the next day and I haven't regretted it since. It's not the fighting or any of those things that I found most valuable, it was the peace of mind and the focus I found in the meditation and tapping into my inner self. I studied hard for years, not really doing much else besides school and the bare minimum I could get away with at home. I spent as much time as possible at the studio and my family was very understanding.

When I was 12, things took a nosedive. My pop took me to work with him. It was November 3, and he had a job that he always took just for the holidays so we could have a good Christmas. I don't really want to go into details, I've done that enough lately. But in a nutshell, some kids broke in and started in with him. He held them off till the cops got there. The cops started to arrest the kids, but one of them hauled off and hit my pop. Reflexively, Pop hit him back, right in the ribs. Had a wrench in his hand. One of the cops saw him and just started shooting. Emptied his gun. All because a Cuban guy had the nerve to defend himself against a white kid. But the cops didn't know I had been pushed into a storage room when the kids got there and I didn't enlighten them. I knew if I did, I was next. The cops ended up letting the kids go and after they moved out to wait for the forensics team, I went out the back. There was nothing I could do, nobody would've believed me if I told what happened. The cops, the one who shot him was named Preston Glades, said my pop went nuts and started attacking and that's why he was shot. I couldn't go up against that.

After that, life went upside down. My older brother Hector started taking over my pop's job at home as best he could and Annarita helped mom. I was supposed to watch the younger kids. But I couldn't focus on that, I couldn't think of anything but what I saw that day. So I immersed myself in my martial arts. Maybe if I had been less zealous there, Miguel wouldn't have gotten involved in that gang. I don't know and it's not something that I'm going to knock myself out over. Fate is a funny thing, and if Miguel hadn't started down that road, things might have even been worse. God knows that Miguel's path took him somewhere really big. With all he's gone through and is still going through.. I wonder how he goes on. I didn't realize just how things were until just recently. I knew the facts, sure. But the facts aren't always that helpful. But due to recent events, I came to the realization that Miguel is the person I admire most in this world. I've never met anyone so strong and so true. I hope that I can be half as strong as he is with all that is happening. I joined up with Las Panteras reluctantly but after going through a night of what Miguel does and watching him go through it, I wear the jacket proudly. Or I did until someone messed with me so that I couldn't wear it. But I'm wearing it in spirit. Nobody can tell me that my brother isn't the bravest man there is. I know Pop is proud of him, we all are. Oh, and I do have to mention Liza. My path crossed with hers, I think the day that I merged my path with Miguel's. And I hope they stay crossed, because right now she's a large part of my strength. And that’s something I can’t afford to lose.

An integral being knows without going,
sees without looking,
and accomplishes without doing.
-Lao Tzu

Nothin' ventured, nothin' gained
Sometimes you've got to go against the grain
-Garth Brooks