The brave man is not he who feels no fear,
For that were stupid and irrational;
But he, whose noble soul its fears subdues,
And bravely dares the danger nature shrinks from.
-Joanna Baillie

As I’m sure that people probably have picked up by now, I’ve lived in New Orleans all my life. I have a fairly large family, and when you count my numerous cousins and the like, it becomes quite large. But I’ve always liked that, it’s given me a sense of security. Of course, it does have an occasional downfall as well. But those are only minor. When I was still a kid, my father was murdered, although that’s not the official story. But I’m not getting into that, I know that Marco spoke about it. After that happened, I just.. I don’t know exactly what it was I was thinking, I probably wasn’t. I got involved with a gang, anything to fight against the police and other authority. I wasn’t really a pleasant person to be around, I stopped going to school and got into a lot of trouble. I’m ashamed to say that I even stopped really listening to my mother during that time, blowing her off whenever I could. I rose up rather quickly in the gang, when I was 14 I became el jefe. I guess I got a real power trip off of that. I got even more unbearable to be around for my family.

Carmellina, she told me on many occasions that messing around with guns was going to get me in trouble that I couldn’t get out of, that sooner or later I was going to kill someone. I either didn’t believe that or I didn’t care, I’m not quite sure which. But her prophecy came true in the most ironic way. I was out with some of the others, driving down a road very near where my house was. There was someone that I needed, or felt I needed, to scare some sense into. I had my gun with me, I was only trying to scare that person by shooting in their window. However, a dog ran out in front of the car and the guy driving swerved to avoid it. This happened just as I was pulling the trigger. The bullet missed its target by a lot, hitting a passerby on the sidewalk. Or two, actually. Carmellina was out and about carrying her son José with her. The bullet hit José in the back, tearing through his spine and going through him and right into Carmellina’s heart. She fell to the sidewalk, killed instantly. The car slowed and I jumped out, I can’t remember too many details, it’s all a blur that’s run together. All I remember clearly was seeing Carmellina and José lying there. José was even awake, but not crying. It was then and there that I took off my gang jacket and threw it down. I swore I’d never get involved like that again.

I don’t know how long I was there, but when I heard the sirens, I reflexively took off running. I ran forever it seems. It was dark the next thing I remember, and I went looking for a place to stay. I wanted someplace away from everyone, so I hunted one down. I stayed there for two weeks, hardly eating or doing anything else. When I finally came out, I went to my brother Marco to find out what all had happened. That’s when I found out that José was paralyzed from the waist down. Marco convinced me after awhile to go visit him in the hospital, and I did so. I don’t know why I never got arrested or charged with murder, maybe it was because they simply didn’t care about what happened to some poor Hispanic woman. When I saw José lying there, that’s when I made up my mind to do what I could to keep kids out of that life. And I set out to do that. I’m not going into details about that or anything, suffice it to say that I finally was able to get a community center started to give the kids something else to do, somewhere else to focus their energy.

I have to admit to one huge oversight during all of this though.. Paco. He was devastated by Carmellina’s death and I think that everyone just sort of passed over him in their worry for José. I’m just as guilty, hell, I’m guiltier since it was me who created the situation on the first place. And so Paco turned down the wrong path and I’m mostly to blame for that. I feel worse about that than almost anything.

Well, I’ll skip over the next few years, it would be rather boring. I did meet Madison though, and she and I became very close friends. Then came the time that Dani and the others came to New Orleans. Life just hasn’t been quite the same since. A lot of stuff happened, some of it not too pleasant. I ended up getting arrested for something I didn’t do and the police, who were by then corrupted by Set’s side, took the next few hours beating the hell out of me until I finally died. Next thing I remember was waking up in the morgue with Liza starting to feed from me and then finally convincing me to drink from her. Thus began my existence as a greater vampire. Not something I really wanted, but then, things don’t always go the way we want.

Again, I’m going to skip over a lot, although not because it’s boring this time but because there’s just too much that went on. Madison and I got married, then we ended up getting divorced after not too long because of circumstances. We’re still friends though, which I am very grateful for. I think that’s all we were ever really meant to be. And so Dani and I soon after that began our life together. Never a dull moment with that woman. Of course, as of this time we don’t get to spend too much physical time together, as she is a prisoner of the leader of The Strikers. I’m forced by a deal that I made to help out some of the kids in New Orleans to spend my nights in torture with Richard Mirs. My family seems to now be a favorite target of these people, I can only hope that will end soon. But no matter what happens, we will go on and not be forced to kneel as some wish us to. In the end, our greatest power is that which we have inside ourselves and in our love and dedication to one another. And I fully believe that power will put us on top in the end. Sometimes all we have, or seem to have, is hope. But so long as we have that, we can’t lose.

As long as you keep a person down,
some part of you has to be down there to hold him down,
so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.
-Marian Anderson

I will not wish thee riches nor the glow of greatness,
but that wherever thou go
some weary heart shall gladden at thy smile,
or shadowed life know sunshine for a while.
And so thy path shall be a track of light,
like angels' footsteps passing through the night.
-Words on a church wall in Upwaltham, England