Text for The Interview Disc. Note that the MP3 only includes TISM's answers to the questions - there are long pauses for the DJ/journalist/hack to insert their own voice reading the questions that follow.

The Interview Disc

DJ
Your new album is on Polygram, will you change now that you're signed to a major label?

TISM
We hope so. We feel confident that Polygram can only benefit the greater corporate muscle that we can put behind their art. They were a little concerned about some of the military dictatorships that our overseas profits have funded. Once we clear that little matter up, I feel we can really break Polygram big in Australia. We wouldn't have signed them up otherwise.

DJ
How did you guys come to be in a band?

TISM
We were all forced into the drug taking, avant-garde world by our wealthy parents, at an early age. I guess being in an rock 'n' roll band is the best way to annoy your parents and we were all drawn to the innate conservatism of rock 'n' roll. You know the usual scenario, spoilt brat, arty bohemians denying their rich upbringing in a bracing suburban family life. Black man, black woman, white baby. White man, white woman, black baby.

DJ
Why don't you ever show your face?

DJ
Your shows have a reputation for being pretty wild affairs. Do you deliberately set out to work up your audience?

TISM
We think they should respect their parents.

DJ
What kind of people come to your shows?

TISM
Mainly young girls. I think they find mystery alluring. Could be the live aerobic sexuality of our dance steps perhaps. Anyway they come by the truck load. Pretty young girls, scantly clad young girls. Actually we keep a floppy disc with names and addresses of our female fans all over the country. When we get a new town, we invite the girls there to come along to one of our regular seminars on "The exploitation of females in rock".

DJ
Your new album "Hot Dogma" is pretty amazing - over an hour of music, all kinds of different styles, what can you tell us about it?

TISM
Well, I guess you could say this album presents a richer, more musical side of the band. Kind of subtle textual quality, whilst still maintaining the aggression and iconoclastic vision that we've held firmly since we began. You could say that, but you'd be lying.

DJ
OK, so you obviously prefer not to give much away in interviews. Why is that?

TISM
Well you are a self-respecting DJ aren't you?

DJ
I am a self-respecting DJ...

TISM
You'd like to think you had a feel for what's going down?

DJ
I do think I have a feel for what's going down...

TISM
You have a duty to you audience don't you?

DJ
I do have a certain duty towards my audience...

TISM
Does anyone actually listen to your show?

DJ
YES!

(DING)
I won!