Wrong
By nightshift

The usual disclaimers. All hail Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, etc. for making the world more interesting. None of the characters are mine. I own nothing except a beaten up 1992 Fort Escort. Want it? Take it. No, really, the doors don't lock and the tape deck doesn't work.
Spoilers: Um, yes. Up to halfway through Hell's Bells (Season 6). Then it takes a weird slide into my version of reality.
Distribution: If you want it, please ask. But flattery will get you everywhere. I do own this story and like to visit occasionally to make sure it has a good home.
Rating: R to be on the safe side-mostly for language. (most of the chapters probably PG-13. I'll make sure and mention at the beginning of a chapter if things slide into the NC-17 range, although I doubt it will happen.)
Title: Wrong
Author: nightshift
Email: kalliebailey@hotmail.com
Summary: Buffy's confused about Riley, upset about Spike, and worried about Dawn. Not to mention the whole "came back wrong" thing. Tara can't possibly be right, it's time for someone better versed in magic to take a look. Sounds like your cue, Giles.

When they were done with dinner, Giles drove them back home. Dawn and Buffy got out and Buffy went back to the driver's side window. "Giles, do you want to come in and see if Willow is here? Maybe she remembers where she put the book you were wondering about. I know she doesn't have anything here, but she could give you directions to the hiding place. Or even the name of the book. I mean, if you want to start researching right away. If you don't, let me know and I'll see if I can find it and bring it over tomorrow. Oh, when do you want me to come over tomorrow? I'm free once I get Dawn off to school. After that I am pretty much free all day..."

Dawn looked at her, alarmed. "Buffy, you're babbling again. Just like the other night when you disappeared all night. Please don't go patrolling tonight, I don't want you to get hurt again. I don't want Spike to get hurt trying to help you. Giles, tell her not to go out tonight. Please. She scares me when she's like this."

Buffy looked around. "I have to patrol. I'm feeling so wired I can't stand it. I have to... I need..." She moved away from the car and started pacing. "I have to patrol. I can't just stay here. My skin is too tight again and it's buzzing. I... I have to do something." She was walking in circles, getting more and more agitated. Giles got out of the car. She launched herself into his arms, trembling. He held her, stroking her hair and muttering soothing words until she settled down.

"Better?" She nodded.

"Don't let go. Please. I feel calmer right now, but it'll stop when you let go."

"Buffy, I have to release you to get into the house. If you need it, I'll hold you again once we get inside." She nodded and slowly unwrapped her arms from around his chest.

In a tone of wonder and amazement, "the buzzing is gone. My skin fits again." She looked at her hands, which were no longer shaking. "Giles, what's wrong with me? How did you fix it?"

Giles looked at Dawn. "Perhaps I should stay here tonight."

She nodded. "I'll make sure Willow knows you're staying here and make up the couch. It's lumpy, but it's the only one we have." She went inside.

Buffy gazed up at Giles. "You know what I was going to do if I couldn't find a good fight, don't you?" He glanced away. "Even Dawn has noticed that something isn't right. I'm just glad she hasn't put it all together yet."

"Let's go inside. I'm ready to do some research and discuss that resurrection spell with Willow. I think she didn't tell Tara every ingredient that went into it. I don't think she could without Tara refusing to help."

Buffy's eyes widened. "That bad?"

He put his arm around her, trying to soothe her. "Not bad as such, just makes for a completely different set of side effects." She opened the door and they went inside. Willow was sitting on the couch, looking tense and upset. "Hi guys. Dawn said you had dinner. How was it?"

"Yummy. I was a good girl and ate all my veggies. Where's Dawn?"

From the kitchen, Dawn spoke up. "I'm finishing my homework. I did most of it before the wedding, but I still have a little left. By the time I'm done, I should be ready for bed. I'm really wiped out after all that swimming today."

"Is Tara here?"

"No. We're getting along so much better, but she's not ready to move back in yet. We're not even sure it would be such a good idea, all four of us living in the same house. Especially not with Children's Services snooping around. A gay couple, you and a minor; it doesn't paint the 'stable home life' picture those people want to see." Giles sat on the chair across from Willow and Buffy sat next to her.

"Willow, I need you to tell me about the resurrection spell you used to bring Buffy back. She's having some strange side effects and I need to know everything about the spell. Even the things you wouldn't tell Tara." She jerked her head up, startled. "Why are you so surprised that I've figured it out? I taught you magic. I dabbled in dark arts. Remember Eyghon?"

Willow nodded. "It was the only way. The Ritual of Osiris. For return of a warrior of the people. A protector. We had the urn, we found it on the internet. It was the last one known to exist. It got broken during the fight with the biker demons. But it had been desecrated anyways. I told Tara not to interrupt the spell for anything, not to let anyone stop it once I started. It was the only way to get Buffy back. I thought she was in Glory's hell dimension. I mean, that's where the gate was supposed to open into. Why wouldn't she be there?"

"Which book? Which version of the Ritual? Did you use the Wine of the Mother?"

Willow's eyes opened wider and she nodded slowly. "The Egyptian version in the Ritual Book of Doorways. The one in hieroglyphs with Anubis on the cover. Translating took forever, even using the internet. I used the Wine of the Mother. It was a deer. I used the blood of a deer. The book said a willing sacrifice would present itself. I didn't know I would have to kill a fawn." She looked down at her hands, rubbing them together as though there were something sticky on them.

Giles stared at her, horror in his expression. Buffy looked between the two of them, confused as to what exactly was wrong. "You didn't wait, did you? You grabbed the child instead of the mother. Sacrificed the future instead of the present. You stupid, arrogant girl, the mother is a willing offering. Killing the child corrupts the spell, makes it dark magic." He spat out between gritted teeth, "tell me where the book is, then get out of my sight. It might already be too late."

Willow stammered out, "M-Magic Box, top of the stairs. Sideways behind Nocte Illuminati." Then she bolted upstairs to her room.

Dawn escaped up the stairs to her own bedroom. At the top of the stairs she turned to Buffy. "I...I'm going to bed. If you're home in the morning, I'll see you before school."

Buffy looked at Giles. She had never seen him this mad before. "Giles, what's wrong? What's going to happen to me? Am I going to turn evil? Am I already evil and just haven't figured it out yet? What is it? Please tell me." He took a deep breath. She could watch him slowly composing himself. He got up and crossed over to sit beside her on the couch. "Giles, you're scaring me. I need to know."

He put an arm around her. "I won't let anything happen to you. If you believe nothing else, believe this."

"Giles, I'm not stupid. I've never seen you so flipped out. Please tell me what's going on."

"We have to go to the Magic Box. I'm not familiar with the Egyptian version of this spell and I don't want to guess without all the information."

"I'm going with you. I can't stay here if I might hurt Dawn." He hugged her fiercely.

"If it makes you feel better, come with me. I can use the company, and you'll be available immediately to answer any questions I might have." They stood and went back outside. Buffy caught sight of the glow of a cigarette by everyone's favorite lurking tree.

She went over to the tree. "So, how much did you hear?" She put her hands on her hips, battling the wave of desire for a fight or something else.

Spike looked her up and down. "Hello to you, too, pet. You smell...delicious. Italian? So, are you gonna try to be a good little girl while the watcher is here? You know it only makes things worse, the longer you try to hold out." Giles moved toward him, clenching his hands into fists. "Looky here, the watcher is jealous. She using you too, mate? Be careful, she likes it rough. Man your age could have a heart attack or something, trying to keep up with a wild thing like her." Buffy looked between the two of them. A fight was almost inevitable if she didn't do something. Truthfully, a fight was sounding pretty good to her right now.

She stepped between them with her back to Giles. "Spike, sometimes you disgust me. Giles, I will handle this. I'll be there in a minute." Giles walked to the car and opened the passenger door. Then he stood there watching and waiting for her to finish her discussion.

"I thought you said there wasn't anything going on between you two. Looks to me like you have him whipped, too. Does he know he's getting my leavings?" She slapped him and glared, defying him to do his worst--almost hoping he would hit her back. "You're upset, so I'll let that pass for now, slayer. I'll consider it foreplay."

"So generous of you. Don't. It's not happening ever again. Giles knows what we did. He's trying to help me. Your chip is right, I did come back wrong. Willow screwed up the spell. Instead of taking advantage of it; he's trying to fix the problem. I'm leaving and you should, too. There's nothing here for you, Spike. Go away." She started for the car. He headed the other direction, muttering something under his breath.

When she got to the car, she was shaking. Giles enfolded her in his arms again until she stopped. "Giles, we have to find out what's wrong with me. I can't keep this up. I can't blame him for being so mad; one night I can't get enough of him and the next night I can't stand to have him touch me. It's not fair to him, giving him hope like that. I'd be furious, too."

"Buffy, what were you feeling while talking to him?"

Without thinking, she answered. "Desire. Rage. Didn't matter if we just fought or fought and then had wild monkey sex. I wanted to feel...flesh under my fists in a non-gentle manner." He motioned to her and she got into the car. He closed the door and then went around to the other side and got in. "The first time we had sex, it was incredibly violent. But it stopped the buzzing and the weird skin crawlies I had. It seems to build up. The longer I wait, the rougher it has to be." Giles nodded and started the car. "Why? Are you just curious about my unnatural sex life? Or does it make a difference?"

"It makes a difference. I'm trying to establish the side effects of that spell." They arrived at the Magic Box. Willow's directions were accurate, the book was exactly where she said it was. Giles started reading and Buffy started pacing.

"Giles." No response. He turned around and got another book. She walked over to him and put a hand on his arm. "Giles, the buzzing is starting again. I...I need to do something. I need to fight someone…or something. I don't know what's worse--not knowing that something is wrong with me like when I first came back; or knowing what to do about it when it involves such…brutality."

"Buffy, stand here and don't move. No matter what happens, don't touch me. I'm going to try a spell and it won't work if we touch." She nodded and shifted herself until she was in a comfortable stance. "Might I borrow some of your strength for the spell? I may need to cast more than the one and I wish to have enough power and presence of mind to control anything I cast."

She nodded. "Giles, I trust you. You're trying to help and I know you wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Take whatever you need." He put his hands out and started the incantation.

"Anubis, guard and guide.
One favored of Osiris needs your aid.
She has returned from the great abyss.
A warrior, protector like yourself."

He started to move his hands above her body. Buffy shivered, she could feel a tingling on her skin even though he hadn't made contact.

"Show me the path,
That I might assist.
Reveal what is lost,
And must be renewed."

His hands started glowing a rich green. He moved them over her head and slowly down the front of her body. They stayed green until they were over her heart, then the glow dimmed and almost sputtered out. As he moved his hands lower the glow started up again. He then went behind her and moved them up her back, still not making contact. When his hands were above her head again, he backed away.

"Information is power,
wisdom is wealth.
We borrow these gifts
with consent of the gods.

My gratitude for your assistance,
Her strength as repayment.
With full consent and knowledge
I release and reimburse."

His hands stopped glowing and Buffy felt her knees start to give way. Giles caught her and moved her to a chair. "Wow. What a head rush. I feel wiped out, but the buzzing is gone. I feel kinda...relaxed. Did that spell cure me, already? Giles, I'm impressed, you are..." She stopped, looking at his expression. "I'm not cured, am I? C'mon Giles, spill. You look like someone ran over your puppy." She had never seen him look so sad. "I'm...not going to be cured, am I? Am I evil? Or just an unfeeling walking corpse?"

She reached out toward him with both hands. He took her hands in his and knelt in front of her. He just looked at her for a while, his expression grave. "Buffy, the spell was to find what was wrong. The reason you don't feel so strange right now is because it drained some of your excess energy. When you said you felt unfocussed, you were correct. You can't focus at the moment because your energies are not in balance. When you went to her with questions about the spell, Tara didn't read your aura, did she?" At her negative head shake, he continued. "You have a hole in your aura. Metaphysically, your mind, your strength, and your soul all came back. I fear Willow specified a warrior of the people. Under normal circumstances the spell is more forgiving, but she bollixed the sacrifice. You were returned as a warrior, so you needed your mind, strength, and soul. The thing that was considered unnecessary for a warrior was withheld. Your heart is missing."

Buffy stared at him, unblinking for a few moments. "So...does this mean that I really am dead?" She released his hands and reached to her neck, putting her finger on the pulse point. "Uh, it's still beating. Something is making a pulse." She grabbed his head and brought it to her chest. "Giles, listen. Is it still there? You have to be wrong, listen. Please, tell me it's in there, that I'm not undead. I don't want to be a vampire. Or a zombie. I'm alive. Please, tell me I'm alive." He raised his head and she slid forward, pushing the chair backwards until it tipped over. She ended up on her knees in front of him. She burrowed under his chin and wrapped her arms around him. He stroked her hair and held her closely while waiting for her to cry herself out. "Giles, please make it better. You have to make it better. There must be a spell or something to fix this. I don't want to be undead. I'd rather be dead. Please, help me."

When she had settled down, he released her. "Buffy, I'm going to do some more research. Why don't you lie down for a while and rest? I will find something to help, it just may take some time."

She went into the training room and came back dragging a mat. At his look of inquiry, she explained. "I wanted to rest, but I don't want you out of my sight. I'm afraid, and you're the only one who has made me feel better without hitting me first. That didn't come out right, but you know what I mean. I want to be next to you, so I can watch you work--make sure the problem is being taken care of." She moved the mat to an out of the way spot and flopped down on it facing Giles. "Hey." He looked down at her. "I just wanted to say thank you. And to let you know that I'll do whatever it takes to make me better. Except kill someone. I--I don't think I could do that."

"I don't believe that will be necessary. There may be some distasteful things I ask you to do, but I won't know that until I research the problem more."

"I won't have to eat worms or something, will I?" She made a face. "I will, but I won't be happy about it."

"Worms are not a normal spell component. Salamander eyes, on the other hand..."

"Why Giles, you do have a sense of humor. A sick one, no less." She smiled and closed her eyes. Moments later she was asleep.

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