| June 2001: |
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| NEWS |
| A desperate man has had his one-inch willy enlarged - with bits of his arm. Surgeons grafted pieces of flesh and BONE to his manhood to make it a five-incher. |
| A stunned sea fisherman netted a wild BOAR swimming off Spain's Atlantic coast then towed it back to free it in the port of Lastres. |
| Sparky Barry Dawes knew what to do when he found mystery buzzing was caused by bees in a loft in Horley, Surrey - he's also a beekeeper. |
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| Artist Kathryn Jordan, 25, has created garden furniture out of GRASS by planting seeds on a table and four chairs at Sudbury, Suffolk. |
| 80's outfit Human League will play the Gatecrasher Summer Sound System on June 16th. I just can't wait. |
| Persistent Myrtle Thomas has graduated from Nebraska University at the age of 100 - more than 75 years after starting her course. |
| An idea has been stolen from Peter Kay's Phoenix Nights, with a new car alarm set for release. A popular message for thieves is: "Get the **** away from my car, ****hole". |
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| Whip-wielding fetish fans in PVC and leather forked out £10 a ticket for a ball in Plymouth - in aid of the Samaritans. |
| Two streakers have been charged after running naked past the Queen at the Epsom Downs racecourse. |
| Two Syrian travellers were arrested trying to smuggle 1,000 Viagra tablets into Cairo.............in a consignment of Cornish Pasties. |
| Fredo Dorini set a record by reversing for 125 miles, but days later backed out of his drive into a cop car in Anzio, Italy. |
| Gardener Alex Nicholas, 38, put an ad in a lonely hearts column offering a free potted plant in return for a date. |
| At 90 years of age granny Marta Aurenes has landed a new job alongside a former psychologist and a retired sea captain - as a pub bouncer in Stavanger, Norway. |
| Sven Goran Eriksson used to be an all-round sporting sensation. |
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