I've seen parents do a lot of cruel and unfair things to their children without a thought to the children who were too young to give their consent. For instance, piercing babies' ears; that's purely for the parents' vanity, because the kid couldn't give a crap whether her ears were pierced or not, and in fact probably doesn't understand why there are hard little metal lumps in their flesh.

But what I saw the other day takes the cake when it comes to horrible injustices. I saw a young boy, no more than 3 or 4, walking around with a little braided rat's tail in his otherwise short hair. Oh my God, I thought, what's up with this place I live in? That kid doesn't care about fashion. He's too young to care whether the other boys in his daycare centre have mullets or short back and sides. He's too young to choose a genre for himself, and here his mother is forcing him into the full-fledged westy culture. *shudder* Oh the horror.

Another thing I saw that made me shake my head was a young couple taking their kids out for a stroll, pushing both strollers down the middle of Campbelltown's main street each with cans of cougar bourbon and coke in hand. But I guess I'm not much better. I was walking around in a tank top with no bra, sucking back a slurpee. Welcome to westy-ville.

I really need a break. I have to get myself out of this rut. No money, no job, no sense of purpose to my days. If I wasn't so stuck in this current of apathy I might actually be able to look at this period of unemployment as an opportunity to get some of my writing projects and other little projects done. But I think I need a shock to the system to get my head out of the sand.

Also I am feeling really pressured from a lot of angles and I really just want to scream sometimes. Why do other people make me feel responsible for their actions? I can't help how another person feels or what they do.

I'm going away for the weekend, hopefully to get my head straightened out, to break the pattern of inactivity. And when I come back I will hopefully have the right attitude to start facing my days. I need to make a list of everything that needs to be done, and concentrate on checking it off as I do it.

I doubt I'll get the chance to update until I get back, which could be as late as tuesday night, so goodbye and good luck until we meet again :)

• Wearing: cargos, blue lace-up shirt
• Listening to: Linkin Park's album 'Meteora'
• Eating/Drinking: last ate some 'revels' candy
• Feeling: Determined

Sunday 11/01/04 11.50pm

My sister plays a game... it's called "if you don't agree with me I won't be your friend". She is getting to be quite good at it lately :(

Anyway I got home from a really nice day out, and went to check my email. I found three new emails from people I am glad to hear from, but I am not looking forward to replying because these are emails that require thought and consideration. That's not a bad thing really, it just would have been nice if some of those emails were from my 1-paragraph wonder friends, and the deeper emails were kinda spaced out a bit. Three at one time is hardly fair! Hehe :)

Went to church this morning and it was sooo hot, the sermon wasn't overly inspiring, and I was late so I missed some of the worship. Still, I think it was enough that I was there, considering I haven't been in a very church-going mood lately. Then I caught the train to Parramatta and met a new friend I have been chatting to on email, and we went to see a film I've been wanting to see since I saw the trailer - Welcome To the Jungle. It was fun and entertaining, and the company turned out to be quite pleasant, so as I said, I've had a nice day.

Yesterday was good too, although I did break my vow to not drink. But I was good, only had a couple of beers and some green stuff that tasted quite nice even though it looked positively vile. And it was nice to be able to swim in the pool and chat to people I hadn't seen for a while.

Anyway I have just been spending my night geeking, and am about to go watch a dvd now... that is, if my sister hasn't already laid claim to the tv!!

• Wearing: brown suede skirt, blue/brown peasant top
• Listening to: -
• Eating/Drinking: Green cordial
• Feeling: bored