I was born in Philadelphia Pa in '64. My parents got divorced when I was about 1 year old. My mom quickly remarried for about three more years, then divorced again. She quickly remarried and (third time is a charm!) has remained with this husband since. I was raised as a Catholic in a little town called Medina, NY (near Buffalo). My mother a devout Catholic, my second stepfather (my age 6) was an Episcopalian. So part of the time we went to St. Mary's, part to St. John's. After a while it became too much trouble for the folks I guess so we quit going. That would be my only experience with church until about the 10th grade.

Growing up in NY, I had quite a few friends, we played sports together and such and occasionally got into a little trouble, but for the most part, just normal kids. Then my stepfather was laid off from his job with the state and the folks decided to move to Virginia. That is when my troubles started...

They decided to move here in March of the year (middle of school), I decided that I wanted to finish my seventh grade year so I got to stay with some friends & relatives. With no folks around, we started hanging out later and eventually got hooked up with a guy who turned us on to some pot. My friend had the money to buy it because he had stole about $400.00 from his dad. Therefore, I decided to steal a bottle of rum from my grandfather. We had a good old time that evening and tried to get the attention of a girl by throwing a rock at her window, which broke and the cops came and what a night!!!

After moving to VA, the trouble continued. A new school, my folks rented out rooms in our new house so a lot of new people living with us, just tons of changes, which I did not like. I decided to leave and went to live with my real father (who also lived in VA & I had seen maybe 7 times in 12 years). He was living with a woman who did not like kids anyway so this was another trip. They both worked and being stuck at home with a pack of cigarettes on the table, I started smoking. Then got back into the drugs and made lots of "Friends". In a new school, got into a fight with a kid there and got suspended for the first time in my life. FUN FUN FUN... later decided that this was too much hassle, folks started searching my room and such so I ran away to go back to live with my mom. Stole some stuff along the way, eventually got picked up by the cops and my mom came and got me, so back to a house full of strangers.

After getting to know a few of these folks, it became cool because most of them were doing drugs so I did not have to go far to get high. Soon I started making all sorts of new "Friends" (it is amazing how many friends you have when you are supplying all the party goods). I was working at my mom's restaurant so I had money & drugs and when I wasn't working, an empty house (no parents at home) every kids dream right???? It was so nice having all these "friends", as long as I was supplying, but when I ran out of drugs & money, I ran out of friends too.

Well after making through my 11th grade and almost dropping out, still doing drugs & drinking, I met this chick at work. She could not stand me at first & was engaged to the cook I worked with. The two of us started working 3rd shift together & after work we would go out and party. Her boyfriend started getting jealous & they eventually broke up. Then she did not want anything to do with me. After a few weeks, we started partying together again, and when she took me home to meet her folks, We had to go to church with them...

All during my growing up & Partying I always knew there was a "god" but did not know much about him/her/it. I always thought that it was a nice god and that if I did REALLY bad things that I would go to the -. Even with my doing drugs my feelings were, "well god is not going to send me to HELL just because I smoke a joint every now & then, is he??" I tried to live a good life (HEHE, not stealing (too much), not cussing (too much), etc,etc).

My girlfriend & I started living together when I was in the 12th grade (she graduated a year before me) and we moved back to live with my father & his second wife. His wife ended up throwing him out of the house so we went along with him and both worked for him. On the weekends, we would always come back to visit her parents and go to church with them and more importantly to get some more drugs. This went on for about a year & 1/2 and then we got married (and lived happily ever after 8)))

After being married for 2 years I ended up being caught kissing another girl. Kathy (my wife) was ready for a divorce but I talked her out of it. We then worked for several different people through the years & continued partying. Got to travel around the country, meeting gays and partying with them and just a really great life, but a life without meaning or purpose...

After being married for about 5 years, I was diagnosed with cancer. I went to talk to the pastor at church and didn't get much comfort out of that but had to go through surgery (removed my testicle) chemotherapy and more surgery. The doctors wanted me to freeze some sperm before the chemo because they told me I would not be able to father children otherwise. My wife and I decided against saving it. This all lasted for about 9 months. All during this time although I did not know god, I knew he was not going to let me die. I had many people praying for me during this time (which meant nothing to me). The doctors were planning on doing another major operation, which would have meant a drastic change in my lifestyle, but I was healed from the cancer so rapidly that they did not have to. All during this time I was still smoking & doing drugs.

After being married for 7 years, I had calmed down on my partying but Kathy had gotten in with a different crowd at work and was doing more with them & less with me. She decided that since she never got to live on her own that now was the time so she moved out of the house we had bought and in with a girlfriend of hers. At this time between the two of us we were making about $40,000/yr. I was devastated, which way do I go??? Do I say forget this and go out and find someone else or do I try to get back together with her??? A friend of mine had been invited me to church (and I found out later praying for me) so I decided to go. The only thing I remember about the service is the speaker asking "do you know beyond a shadow of a doubt if you were to die that you would go to Heaven? If you don't and want to, raise your hand." I had heard this question a 100 times before at Kathy's parent's church but never responded. This night was different and I did not raise my hand but somebody/thing did. I ended up going forward that night and asking JESUS CHRIST to come into my heart and life and save me from my sins...

Radically Lost Becomes Radically Saved

Radically-saved

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