December 13th 1999

Deep within the National Center for Biotechnology in Bethesda Maryland were labs that were not public, and only accessible by a few people, not many more even knew they existed. Yet there they were in plain view of the many people who worked at the center, people just never really noticed. The few that did were told they were just working on making corn more resistant to insects, so boring that no further questions were asked.

Christmas was just around the corner, Theodore McDougall had expected a Christmas Promotion. Many in the department had expected Theodore, including himself, to be named the head of a new out location research program. A black budget program, prestige and many doors could open for the people who disappeared in these black holes that appeared on occasion. In truth Theodore was sure he was the man chosen for the job, he had already leased a new Lexus, that's how sure he was of his new appointment. Theodore was also the most senior man who was eligible, he had nine years in this division. Two others were more senior but they had already turned down several such assignments and would not be expected to take one now.

Theodore heard what had happened just before entering the lab area itself. He had had a few cups of coffee before heading to work and was moving quickly to get to the restroom and rid himself of the problem foremost in his mind. A base function that could not would not be ignored or put off. Mind over matter fled away with the tooth fairy. When you had to go you had to go! Nothing ever changed this fact, it was as close to a scientific absolute as you were going to get.

Just inside the key code protected door of the lab was the shared entrance to the restrooms. Once down the short hallway, Men went left, Women went right, down a gender-designated dog-legged walkway to the door with the appropriate universally understood gender specific sign. Scientists and professionals were the only ones permitted to enter the security door of the lab, yet at the bathroom a simple sign that said Men or Women was politically incorrect, so the little pictures were posted to steer you away from the embarrassment of entering the wrong area.

Theodore had just started to open the door, pressured to find immediate relief when he heard from the women's hallway a short exchange of words that stopped him in his tracks. Two voices, one was Jen's the Executive Secretary of Hal Thomas the Department Head. The other voice he thought was a fellow researcher Betty Harrison, he didn't know her well as she worked the other end of the lab for less than a year.

The statement that stunned him, totally blew away the urgency driving him through the door before him, the statement that shattered the scientific absolute he was playing through his well educated and reasoned mind just three seconds before was, "Is it true that Lisa Sherman was named to head up the Utah Project? And Jen's reply, "I always know in advance, I just can't say, this decision will rock the house you know!" Then knowing muffled giggles.

The door was now swinging closed, Theodore put up a hand deftly to stop the door just short of closing. Stunned and stopped at the threshold of the men's room picture designated door. After a very brief moment he entered and went to an end stall, entered and quickly seating himself on the cold porcelain fixture. Government buildings had one thing in common, they were colder to save energy. Sixty-five felt colder when seated here. Standing at a urinal was what he had in mind, but things obviously had changed, maybe there was symbolism in the fact that he had now chosen to sit on a commode.

Holding himself relief flooded below, while disbelief was draining from his mind and being just as quickly replaced with anger. To add insult to anger he was late, not to the office, but in walking his lizard. As his lizard did after all have a mind of it's own. It had left it's territorial mark. The only good thing that had happened to Theodore this morning is that he wore navy blue trousers and the wet spot was less than the diameter of a dime. Theodore would be late to work this morning after all.