Moscow Zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to
the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo bar:
Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Japanese hotel:
You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In a Zurich hotel:
Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in
the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
Would you like to ride on your own ass?
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him
melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle
him with vigor.
Outside a Paris dress shop:
Dresses for street walking.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that
you will be unbearable.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should
enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.
Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the
chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet
composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
On the menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the
form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the
country people's fashion.
In a Bangkok temple:
It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the
long run.