KIDS, SEX AND PORNOGRAPHY After reading some of the material related to pornography and pedophilia on the net, there is clearly a need for accurate, unbiased information on the subject. With this in mind, I submit the following for your perusal: PORNOGRAPHY Pictures and other media which portray sexual acts are suggestive. They suggest that what is portrayed within the picture is something the beholder could experience. This has the potential of being stimulating if the viewer is predisposed to be attracted towards the portrayed subject matter. Since sex is something we are all highly attracted to, pictures depicting sexual acts have a high potential to arouse or stimulate us especially if we are sexually repressed or inactive. In individuals such as pedophiles, who's objects of sexual interest are inhibited by social standards of normalcy, pictures depleting sex acts between children and adults can serve to legitimize the person's desires and reduce the conformist pressures from society. This could result in the individual engaging in sex acts with children where this behavior would not have occurred if the pictorial stimulation were not present. So to answer the long standing debate of whether pornography plays a role in deviant sexual behavior within our society, the answer is unquestionable yes. The issue of whether exposing children to pornography can affect their development is another issue which needs to be clarified. Because pictures and other media are suggestive, they have the potential of suggesting that certain behaviors portrayed within the pictures are acceptable behaviors. The result of this exposure can open new doors of possibilities where none existed before. Certain children, under certain circumstances can adopt new desires and behaviors which would not have been adopted were it not for the stimulation and exposure to particular suggestive materials. Most parents would agree that it would not be a good idea to provide children with pictures which depict sexual behavior, especially unacceptable sexual behavior. Beyond this, most parents would agree that it would not be a good idea to expose children to media which arouses their interest in sex before this interest has a chance to develop on its own. PEDOPHILIA Perhaps we are looking for answers in the wrong places when we ask if pornography has the potential to incite unacceptable sexual behavior. Perhaps the real question should be what sexual behaviors are in fact harmful and what are we doing as a society that forces some individuals to seek sexual satisfaction through pornography. The issue of sexual behavior involving children is one which draws considerable attention especially in western societies. Most people seem to feel that children should not engage in any sexual activity until they are old enough to be on their own or sometime around the age of 18. The concept that it is bad or unacceptable for children to engage in sexual behavior has been around for a long time. The fact that human sexuality does not begin at some magical age determined by a particular set of social standards is also widely accepted. Needless to say, these two concepts are incompatible. Children of all ages are sexual beings with sexual needs, desires and behaviors much like adults. All children engage in sex play not only as a means of self gratification but also to explore new avenues of sexual pleasure. Anyone who has children knows they will occasionally test their sexuality on parents or other adults they feel secure with. This can range from well disguised seductive behavior to open and deliberate attempts to cause sexual arousal in others. Parental response to these behaviors range from severe rejection on the one extreme to incest on the other. But most parent's responses lie somewhere between the two extremes and contain some element of their own sexuality. So why are most adults uncomfortable with the idea of children engaging in sexual behavior? Surely, almost everyone finds the thought of a preadolescent girl engaging in intercourse very disturbing even if it is with a boy her own age. Most of us think of sexual behavior in terms of dominance and forced or accepted submission. This rather narrow view pictures all sex as a form of rape where one party is forced to submit to the demands of the other. But sex should not be painted in the same light as physical assault because they are in fact totally unrelated. Though sexual behavior usually involves physical activity between the participants, and one is often physically stronger than the other, this does not imply that there is a loss of free will or control on the part of the individual fulfilling the submissive role. Actually, the submissive role is one which has little if anything to do with physical size or strength. It is more determined by one's psychological sexual identity and the role they fulfill in attempting to gain sexual gratification. Regarding adults who are attracted to children, it would seem that most prefer to fulfill a submissive role where the child is given control and power. The stereotyped image of a child being forced to submit to the sexual desires of a dirty old man is an inaccurate depiction of pedophilia. Though such behavior does exist, it is more akin to rape than pedophilia. The reality of sexual behavior among children and adults is that it is usually consenting sexual activity involving both men and women, boys and girls, in both heterosexual and homosexual behavior. Having said this one must consider why some children choose to engage in sexual activity with adults. (The reasons why adults choose to engage in sexual activities with children has been thoroughly explored and I will only ad that there can be no greater fulfillment in the human experience than the sexual relationship between a man and woman. This may be hard to understand and accept for anyone who is currently predominately sexually attracted towards something or someone other than the opposite sex of roughly the same maturity. In reality however, most pedophilias long for a special meaningful relationship that can only be obtained with someone who is capable of understanding and sharing on an adult level.) Children's priorities and values are far different than those of the average adult. They do not experience the same level of complexity and depth in their feelings and no matter how much some adults may like to project their needs upon them, they are still only children. Children are never sexually attracted to an adult in the same way an adult experiences sexual attraction. Children see the sexual relation with an adult more with a view towards curiosity and attention fulfillment with less emphasis on the physical element of the sexual experience. Children are predisposed to want to please adults as a means of gaining acceptance or reward and this plays a major role in their behavior during sexual activity. In most cases, children engaged in sexual relations with an adult would prefer to have their needs fulfilled by that same adult in a different manner. This is at least partly due to the social stigma that is attached to sexual behavior and the basic concept that sex is bad or dirty. Generally speaking, children who have sexual encounters with adults suffer no immediate damage as a direct result of the experience. For the child, the experience usually contains elements of excitement and adventure. Often there is a sense of pride and a feeling that one is a big boy or girl because they have engaged in sexual activity with someone who is much older. Depending upon the relation with the adult, the child often feels this relation has taken on some new and special meaning which gives them more power in the relationship. Sometimes this feeling of increased power is embellished by the concept of sharing a secret with the adult or perhaps even the potential of using the secret to gain some manner of control the adult. For the adult, the experience of having sexual relations with a child is usually a source of intense inner turmoil and distress. Much energy must be expended to attempt to qualify their actions as acceptable in the light of great social condemnation. Sometimes the adult begins to see the child not only as the object of their desires but also the cause of their anxiety. If there is an element of fear of being discovered, the adult may also begin to resent the new power they have bestowed upon the child by entrusting he or she with such a potentially damaging secret. Generally, the event of sexual activity between an adult and child irrevocably changes their relationship. The child often perceives the adult's reaction to the event and will usually accept this as the appropriate response. If the adult responds with shame and guilt than this is passed to the child. The image the child had of the adult may be greatly affected if the child was old enough to be aware of the social stigma attached to such acts. In this case, the child may feel shame, anger and resentment towards the adult. Often the child will blame themselves to some degree for seducing the adult and in this way feel responsible for any changes in their relationship. For the most part, damage done to children as a result of sexual activity with an adult is perpetrated upon them more by the society within which they live than the adult involved in the encounter. Many adults who suffered little or no affect from a childhood sexual experience have been convinced by today's media there must be something wrong with them and that they have been scared for life. What is ironic, is that it is likely the most active crusaders against childhood sexuality are those individuals who are driven by their particular needs to suppress their own inner desires. In this regard, nothing is more telling than those individuals who feel compelled to search for and expose themselves to child pornography in the name of protecting children from sex. I would strongly suggest that anyone purporting to represent the interests of children by crusading against pornography, should allow themselves to undergo psychological testing to assure they are not unduly aroused by the material. If we as a society want to eliminate pornography then our first task must be to reduce sexual repression by bringing our understanding of human sexuality more in line with the reality of who and what we really are. To put all of this in perspective allow me to equate the issue of pornography and its negative effects upon children and society with the issue of violence in the media. It stands to reason that if pornographic material can induce someone to engage in elicit sex, which it can, then exposure to violence in the media can induce someone to commit a violent act. The two issues are actually one in the same and yet the voice against violence in the media can barely be heard. Within our current system of values, it seems more important to prevent a child from having sex with an adult than it does to prevent an adult from killing a group of children. In this regard, we seem willing to give up our freedom and right to openly express ourselves to one another while at the same time protecting our right to go dear hunting with a semi automatic machine gun. Speaking of machine guns, the kids are calling me to dinner so I must bring this to a close. I hope you found it enlightening.