Top Of The Table

Caroline Barden

Aug. 12, 2001

How about some R-E-S-P-E-C-T for a change?

We are the Rodney Dangerfields of the Restaurant Industry. Though I gotta tell ya, while our job gets no respect, we do take on more than our fair share of aggravation and hard work, with no guarantee of how much money we'll make. And the bottom line is that most restaurants' success or failure is determined in a large part by the effort we put into it. So, are you a member of this elite corps of courageous warriors? Congratulations, because you must be a waiter or waitress and it's about time for restaurant owners to give us the respect and appreciation we deserve!

Let's see if you can relate to this typical owner/server conversation: This is what the owner says, yelling,
"Why did the Morgans have to wait so long for their drinks?!?"
This is what the owner thinks,
"Incompetent!"
This is what the server replies, apologetically,
"I'm sorry, I was busy!"
This is what the server thinks,
"Listen you moron, can't you see it's a slammin Saturday night, I've got six tables going at once, that deuce in the corner has cobwebs on them they've been waiting so long for their food, the bartender's in a bad mood, the busboy is in the back eating, and if that bratty kid doesn't stay in his seat he's gonna wear those chicken fingers! And anyway, why didn't you run the drinks, you were just hanging out at the bar schmoozing with the customers!"

While there are some hands on owners who do work very hard on the floor, the majority just doesn't get it. They don't understand the exhausting physical and mental challenges that we face every day as part of our jobs as servers. It calls for juggling multiple tasks, timing everything precisely and generally being everything to everybody no matter what. If the money wasn't so darn good at times, nobody in his right mind would do this kind of work. But when it's great, it's awesome, which is what seduces us to stay.

Does it tick you off when people say,
"Oh, I guess you're just waiting tables until a REAL job comes along?"
It's bad enough that everyone else in the restaurant considers us to be a lower form of life, but when you can't hold your head up in public, something's wrong here. If this isn't a real job, I don't know what is. No actually, I do know what a real job is. You go in at nine, come out at five, take a half hour for lunch, and deposit the same exact amount every week in your checking account. Boring! What fun is that? We'd rather work when others play, and play when others work. We love the thrill of Victory!
"Yes, 30 bucks on a 93-dollar tab, cha-ching!!!", which helps us endure the agony of defeat,
"So you're giving me forty dollars and want the change back on this $35 check? Great, I'll be right back!"

So restaurant owners don't understand us, chefs consider us a nuisance, managers try to manage us and customers look down on us. So where do we turn to join forces? You found it, right here at waiters-revenge.com, the only web site dedicated to people known for having at least one screw loose, at least when it comes to choosing a line of work. This is our safe haven, where we can commiserate, contemplate, complain and calculate our next plan of attack. Welcome, but enter at your own risk. The stories you will hear are true, and not suitable for mature audiences, no discretion is advised.

So now, every week, as an extra added attraction, restaurant consultants just like me are going to write about things that pertain to you. Like how to make more money, deal with the boss, make more money, deal with the public, make more money, be more professional, make more money, etc. etc.etc. Why are we doing this? I can only speak for myself and I will tell you that I know what works. How do I know this? Simple, it works for me. Also, since I'm older than most of you, respect your elders and you just might learn a thing or two. Now I don't have all the answers, nor can I wave a magic wand and make everything work for you every time. But 90% of the time these tried and true methods will bring you great results, and those odds should be good enough for any gambler.

All kidding aside, I was trained in 1974 at a local Friendly's restaurant, and those were the days where you really got a thorough training. What I learned then has come through for me to this day. Now for some of you, lack of training is not your fault. You are employed at either a chain restaurant where you are over trained and information is thrust down your throat, or you work for a mom and pop organization that handed you a menu, told you what to wear, when to show up and gave you a menu that you never looked at. Getting a job in this industry is way too easy, but making it pay off for you is not that hard. However, it is going to require that you be honest with yourself when I ask the tough questions.

Question #1,
Do you consider yourself a professional server? If you answered yes, let me ask you Question #2,
How often you show up for work on time?
I know it's a novel concept, but a lot of people think it will really catch on soon in this industry. Oh but you say, yeah, well I never get a table right away, we hang around so much, what does it matter....stop right there. 5 o'clock, is 5 o'clock and if that's your starting time be there. Now when you do show up, what's the first thing you do? Find out where everyone's going drinking after work, of course! Sorry, how about getting the specials, finding out what's 86'd, getting the soup and vegetable du jour, things that keep you from getting caught with your pants down later on. Where I work now, they talk about me behind my back because I tweak my tables so the silverware is nicely set for my customers and it looks good when they sit down. Call me crazy, but I like to have some pride in my work and that's what I teach in my training seminars. It's what I'd like to communicate to you fine folks as well.

Going back to work in the restaurant industry when I was forty-something pretty much saved my life. I had enjoyed a successful career as a local radio announcer and was at the top of my game professionally. Married, with two babies, the coveted morning slot was given to me and I was done with work by 11am. However, going to bed at 8pm and getting up at 3:45am put a strain on my marriage. My husband wouldn't talk to me, my babies couldn't talk to me and I was so lonesome I could cry (can you tell I worked at a country music station?) So to save my marriage, I left my job and went to work at a four star restaurant not far from my house. I worked half the hours, made twice the money, got some good nights sleep and most important, people talked to me! Customers had to so I could bring them beverages and food, we even had quite a few laughs! We had more fun at the end of the night when my co-workers and I sat down to do our checks. We drank great wine and said rotten things about those poor people who tipped us so much more than we deserved. I left my marriage, but stayed in the restaurant industry and now have a business as a consultant. My mission is to raise the standards in this industry because it is my belief that whether you are slinging pizzas or serving pate, you should do it as professionally as possible. And I don't settle for anything less, for myself or others.

Now before you consider me to be a kill joy, let's go back to the respect thing. Since it's not a given in this job, you are going to have to earn it by raising your standards and I can show you some easy ways to do that. Secretly, I think you all have a lot more pride in your job than you'd like anyone to really know. That's great, because if we are going to raise the standards in this industry, we have to do it one at a time, quietly and patiently, without drawing too much attention to ourselves. If your co-workers make fun of you for being more professional don't worry about it, just try not to be smug when you count your tips at the end of your shift. Because believe me, you will make more money, and isn't that why we're here? And eventually, when even the restaurant owners start changing their attitude and treat us with respect, it will become contagious and customers will catch onto it as well. Won't that be a happy day for everyone!