Top Of The Table

Caroline Barden

Aug. 19, 2001

The headline in last Sunday's paper was shocking.
"Waiter charged in drug sales at Saratoga track."
The article went on to say that a waiter at the Saratoga Race Course's Carousel Restaurant was charged with criminal possession of a lot of controlled substances, with intent to sell, all of which are felonies. But the part that really got my attention was that the waiter is 62 years old. Sixty two years old, still waiting tables and still dealing drugs? What's up with that?!? For those of you who are not familiar with the Saratoga race course, let me just tell you that the people who frequent this track have names like Vanderbilt, Whitney and Kennedy. It is the highest of high society. Not only do these people have money, but it's old money and this is when they love to throw it around. The horses run during the month of August only, so this waiter was probably making some pretty good cake just doing the restaurant thing. My question is, what would be his incentive to engage in illegal activity?

Now I'm not naive, I know that there are a lot of drugs in restaurants. I worked with a woman who dealt to the customers, the chefs, the busboys, and especially the other servers. Problem is she was a single mom in her late 30's. The second day I worked with her she assured me that she could get me anything I wanted, with 24 hours notice of course. They would take her kids away in a New York minute if she got busted. Give it up already!

According to Anthony Bourdain's book 'Kitchen Confidential', everyone in the restaurant business is drinking, doing drugs and generally taking part in a certain debauchery only found in this industry. Waitresses are usually easy, chefs are usually stoned, and waiters are found somewhere in the middle, when they're not having sex in the walk in. This goes back to the lack of respect issue that I touched on last week. With bad press like this, is it any wonder people treat us the way they do?

So do we deserve this bad rap? Well, yes....and no. Who knows how to party better than anyone?

Restaurant people, of course! When we get off from work we don't have to go out, we are out! Walk three steps and there's a full bar. After a busy night from hell we deserve to blow off a little steam, and one pitcher of margaritas just isn't enough. Then you start doing shots and before you know it, the sun is coming up as you're leaving the diner. You sleep all day, take a shower, barely make it in to work on time and then start all over again. It's a vicious cycle that ruins lives and before you know it, you're a 62 year old waiter/drug dealer with your name in the paper, facing some serious prison time.

Now before you think I'm a fuddy duddy, let me assure you I've seen the sun come up many, many times. But now I have kids and responsibilities and I'm just too darned tired anymore. When I look back, it just seems like a blur, a big waste of time. Sure it was fun, what I can remember anyway. But the bigger problem is that you can't do a professional job when you are so hung over that you can barely see. Timing, precision and memory go out the window, and who can do a good job as a server without those three elements? It's kind of a Catch 22 though, because generally the partyers either have no responsibilities or are running away from them, which is why there is so much decadence, which leads to boredom, which leads to more decadence to try and shake the feeling of ennui. It's a stage some of us have to go through, but it should just be a stage, not a vocation.

And being a server is the perfect job to have when you want to make tons of money, have no responsibilities and party your brains out. Just watch out for the pitfalls, that's all I'm saying.

Why am I saying this? I get scared for some of you, it's the mom in me, I worry. Got to work last week and this nice young guy, Jason, says he didn't know how he got home last night. Woke up on his couch, didn't know where he was. Everyone thought it was a big joke, except for me. I mean I'm glad he made it home safely but the bigger picture scares me as it should you. You think, ha ha this is so funny, but deep down, you know it's not. So don't succumb to it, do a reality check and say, yes I'm partying too much this summer, but very soon I will A. go back to school B. make my significant other a priority C. stop the insanity or D. finally deal with the issues that got me to this place to begin with.

Now I haven't even touched on the issue of showing up for work drunk or stoned, but I actually have a cute story that I'll leave you with. One summer, I worked with this blonde bimbo at a very upscale Italian restaurant. She was the queen of sidework, so we all loved her, and she was also known for being extremely punctual, never late, not even once. Until this one fateful Saturday afternoon, when she had been out on a boat with some friends. You guessed it, she showed up for work late, and quite tipsy, her usually perfect appearance disheveled. Initially, from the way she looked, we thought she spent the day rolling around the sheets, but it turns out the night before her boyfriend had dumped her, and her friends were helping her ease the pain, albeit a little too much.

So where's the happy ending here? Well, of course this poor girl screwed up every order she put into the kitchen. But the sweet saute chef took it upon himself to help her out and voila! We had a new restaurant romance! Now girls, before you go trying this at your job, just remember you'll probably have better odds betting on the horses. But sometimes, when you least expect it, you too might find love behind the line! Hmm, sounds like a country song........

Speaking of songs, are you singing the 'can't find no good workers' blues? I can help, by taking the staff you have and turning them into the staff you want. My motivational and training seminars not only increase sales but help with morale. You'll also have less turn over with your staff as they learn how to work together to make more money. One of the owners I worked with said I turned his staff into a group of Hare Krishnas, they were so excited to go to work every day! The seminars are actually a lot of fun and very reasonably priced. So if you want a free consultation contact me at

. Serving New York, New Jersey, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and anywhere else you'd like to fly me, hopefully somewhere warm and sunny!!!!

Caroline Barden - Restaurant Consultant