Top Of The Table

K-Lee

Jan. 15, 2002

Perhaps not tales of food whoring as usual, moreover, a plea to my fellow servants, uh, excuse me, servers. I have absolutely HAD IT with poor customer service or lack of service all together! My recent experiences in various money spending adventures have made me much more aware of the level of service and amount of pleasantness I offer my guests. Now, please, patiently allow me to ramble, all the while slamming various companies who deserve nothing but the truth about the level of service THEIR employees offer.

On holiday to Boston, my generous father sported the tab for my two sisters and I to join him on a rare family getaway. We stayed in a lovely beachfront hotel where my father had specifically requested ocean view rooms for us. WARNING!!! If you get a lovely beachfront hotel room and want to have a full view of the ocean that it is fronting, apparently, in this day and age, you must request an ocean front viewing room and not simply an ocean view room. I did not know that. Neither did dear old dad. As virtual natives of Arizona we were really looking forward to taking in every bit of ocean we could. Instead, we could slide open our windows, crane our necks around the bend and hang halfway out our windows to see a fraction of the ocean we missed so much. It was really embarrassing when the fire department responded to the call of a family hanging out of hotel windows attempting suicide.
"No, no, we just wanted an ocean view!"

My sisters and I had a blast as sisters do and dad took it all in. My sister who is closer to my age and I took many goofy photos. We posed with statues, policemen, pretended to urinate off of a bridge with a loaf of French bread (don't ask…we blame it on the ales) and got some rare photos with relatives we only see every five years. Upon returning home, I wanted to drop my film off pronto so I could send off my groovy photos in holiday cards. What best to do? Go to the nearest drug store that offers one day film developing! So I trudge off to the local Walgreen's and verify that they do in fact have next day service, although my film would be back in two. I was amused with this contradiction, but was pleased nonetheless to have a rapid turnaround. That was on December 6th. Today it is December 19th and I finally received, after six, yes, 6 visits to the photo department and experiences with several rude employees (oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to come in here and give you my business!) and two calls to the lab to discover (bless their cruel little hearts) that one roll was 41% damaged. But only 41 % mind you and they're offering me a free roll of film and film processing. Whew! What a relief. I'm back to Osco.

When you return from vacation, the unpleasant greeting of stacks of bills awaits like a cancer lurking in your home. Opening my phone bill I was again shocked at how high it was. I have very few out of state relatives, none out of the country that I phone, and dear old dad only lives two hours away! What in the bloody hell was happening here? I promptly called Qwest (formerly US Worst, I mean West) and was sent through a dizzying mirage of voice prompts, recordings, music, and accented employees transferring me about from one wrong department to the next. I wanted a breakdown of my phone bill because frankly, between state tax, excise tax, unpublished service, universal service fund, telecom service, residence line, federal access charge and about a half dozen others not including the calls themselves, I was confused. Add all of these random nickel and dime charges to -WHAT??? My monthly service charge? What the hell were all of these other charges? That's it! I was going to show them. I was going to sacrifice my home/business phone line on which I have built five years of business, to get a cheaper, cell phone! After much time on hold (not too many people working the phones at the old phone company on this day I presume) and three times being disconnected (they're still training the newbies how to properly put folks on hold, I guess) I was on the line with a pleasant gentleman who had me confused with someone who wanted to spend more money with this godforsaken company from hell.
"Well, Miss K-Lee, why exactly do you want to end your service with us?"
Fearing I may be charged for his time on my next phone bill, I opted to make it short and sweet, instead of citing ALL of my reasons.
"I'm getting a cell phone…"
I tried to begin and was cut of by the pitch. Yes, folks, he threw me a pitch.
"We have a great deal on cell phones, cell phone service, DSL, high speed internet service, a custom package, a family deal, and a free side of French fries…"
his enthusiastic voiced chortled on and on and on….Perhaps if his company really cared about losing customers they wouldn't need to pitch packages that are too good to be true, to maintain their revenues.

I went to my favorite dollar store to get a 99-cent (yeah, I know, why is it the dollar store, then?) calendar. My friendly little Asian family with their happy Buddha statuary was not there. The store was rearranged and smelled weird. The prices were -gasp! $1.50 and higher at ye ol dollar store. Was I going mad? Did I miss a sign change out front declaring it the "dollar-fifty-and-more-store"? No matter, I really needed a 2002 calendar even if it was $1.50.
"Excuse me, where are your calendars?"
I sweetly asked a stranger behind the counter, nose buried in a foreign newspaper.
"We don't have calendar!" he barked back and replaced his shitty little nose back in his paper.

Today, after being ill for about three weeks now (don't even get me started on pharmacists!), I decided to mosey over to the nearby Goodwill store to find some junk I really did not need, to cheer me up. Not much good today, but a really cool sweater someone had removed the trim from and left a few holes in its place.
"Is this sweater full price even with these holes?" I asked the smiling lady.
"Yes, it is marked as is." She smilingly replied.
"So it's seven bucks for a sweater with holes and with the trim missing?" I queried.
She smiled, "yes, it is marked as is."
"O.K. thanks". No really, thanks!
I guess they want to keep the racks full at the local Goodwill. I did find two goodies but on my way to the counter, the tag fell off of the 99-cent piece of fabric I had picked up for an art project. I did not notice this until "Maribella to de front counder plees" came over the loudspeaker as she searched for the tag.
"Oh, there was a tag on it. Would you like me to try to find it?" I asked the smiling cashier.
"No." she smiled and replied. "Just wait, chee will check por us."
*Note: umkay. By the time ol Maribella gets her tail to the front to see the item, I probably could have found the 99 cent tag on the floor on the path I had taken to the front, but no, I am the untrustworthy customer who may have switched tags at the Goodwill thrift store! Here comes Maribella and upon inspection of the fabric declares a price in Spanish to the smiling cashier.
"A dollar ninety-nine," she smiles and says as she punches the keys on the register…

I simply cannot take it any more. I am sure we all have our reasons for what we do. If I have a rude customer they get no pleasantness from me. I merely deliver the food and the check. I am not rude back. I do not slouch on the service. It is my job to do these things. If someone complains to me, I listen, I offer a possible reason (not an excuse) and I fix it to their expectations. If it is my fault or the restaurant's fault, I try to amend it. I am a representative of that establishment. Yes, my bosses treat us like shit and yes, it probably sucks to work in corporate America too, but I for one am seriously trying to get out by building my art to a point that I can support myself with it. The service I deliver my jewelry customers is exemplary. I am prompt on orders. I am pleasant. I offer discounts on big orders. I gift those who send me customers. I always say thank you and I truly mean it. In turn, they help me make my house payment.