Top Of The Table

K-Lee

Sept. 2, 2001

Mental Health at the Indian Restaurant

I learned something about myself yesterday. Granted, I have known myself for a good number of years, but there's always something new cropping up! Allow me to tell you a little about myself personally. I am under the impression that when people first see me, if an immediate judgment is made, it is that I am a bitch.
Pardon e' mois?
I may know why. I have the typical Virgo scowl that is played across my face due to some heavy thinking and analyzing. I have prominent features, none of which lend me a soft or mousy look. I have a loud, alto voice; I am of sturdy build (no, I am not fat!), And I move quickly when on the job. I know what needs to be done, how, when, where, blah, blah, blah. It's about determination. I am also very quiet if I do not know you, prompting you to think I don't like you. On the other hand, if I know you (and like you) I am loud, boisterous, and maybe, just maybe, a tad obnoxious, maybe. An artist trying desperately to go full time with my art and no time with my table waiting, I am both creative and outgoing. If you know me, you will see my very warm, caring, inviting nature that will open a sympathetic ear or have you over for a home cooked meal. I send postcards, give gifts, gab with sis and dad every other day, and say I love you a lot. I love people, duh, I've been waiting tables for 15 years, and often host little shin digs in my own humble abode.

Why is it then that when I have a rare night free do I insist to my love that we stay in and watch movies? In the past this was attributed to "getting older" but I am not that old and I have always been considered as something of a party animal.

A few days ago, I brought up this dilemma to my sister, Lisa. She recanted a story she had heard from a table-waiting friend who does "power shifting". This means that rather than working shorter shifts every day, Johnna packs double shifts in all at once so as to have more days off. When she gets her time off, nobody sees or hears from her. Lisa tells me that Johnna is so overloaded by mass people interaction (many of them complete assheads) that when her cherished time off comes, she quietly disappears into her home for her solitude.

This prompted me to consider my own lifestyle. An avid music fan, I rarely listen to tunes at home unless I am entertaining or cooking for my honey. The television is rarely turned on unless PBS hosts a fine program like the Mickey Hart, Planet Drum that kept me up way too late last night. I will not answer the phone unless I am feeling chatty, and going out to a bar, restaurant, theater, or any crowd promoting affair, gives me the heebs.

Last night it all dawned on me like the power coming on after a scary storm. I was enjoying a birthday feast at a local Indian food restaurant. This feat in itself took some belly rumbling persuasion, as it was. My beau and I had plans all week for dinner on Friday night. When Friday arrived, I made all sorts of excuses (again) to stay in.
"The wait will be over an hour any where we go to eat,"
followed by
"I don't know if I want to deal with all of that noise since every place will be packed,"
and then came the most famous,
"I am just so tired, can we stay in and rent movies?"

At the video store both of our tummies grumbled with hunger. My plan to cook was fading fast because when I cook, it is a lengthy procedure. Across the street beckoned an Indian food restaurant I have been dieing to try. We went and it was mellow, peaceful and very enjoyable.

"Wow, it is so quiet in hear,"
I commented to my handsome date. That was when it happened.
The lights dimmed.
A hush came over the other diners.
All patrons and wait staff craned their open faces towards me. A single light bulb dropped from the ceiling right above my head. A spotlight shone on me in the otherwise dark restaurant.

"I am surrounded by people every single day. Loud noise, rude people, and demanding bosses fill my waking hours. I WANT SOME PEACE AND QUIET!"

My epiphany showed me that I am not getting old. If clanking dishware, loud music, a sea of demanding faces, and constant motion filled your days, a night of mindless movie watching with your very quiet, shy, sweet, gentle boyfriend is just the prescription to see you back to adequate mental health for your next shift!