Max held Steph tightly, not ever wanting to let her go. He was terrified. Those few weeks they had spent apart were more than he could take. He had tried to stay strong for the kids but inside he was falling apart. He was nothing without her, she had always been the one to keep him together, to make him feel calm so his feelings didn’t explode. But has he sat on the sofa, holding the woman of his dreams in that loving embrace, Max realised things were different.

He’d have to be the strong one, her safety net, her shoulder to cry on when things got too much. Nothing else in his life seemed to matter anymore, only Steph. He swore to himself in that moment that he’d be there for her forever. He’d do whatever it took, anything to keep her. No matter what the sacrifices were, she was all he needed to feel complete.

When he stripped the rest of his life away, his job, house car… His whole purpose for being boiled down for his family. Steph was part of that and he didn’t want that to change.

Steph was the love of his life, nothing would get in the way of him being with her. Him and his kids had already had enough crap in their lives for a lifetime. She had to be OK, she just had to.

As he felt his girlfriend sob gently in his arms, Max softened. Ever since his world had come crashing down around him in that hospital room, he had been so focused on beating this disease. He had forgotten that Steph was hurting too. His grim determination to fight this cancer had somehow got in the way of what really mattered.

Steph mattered. He felt selfish for thinking about himself, when it was her who was in pain. Whatever he was feeling about the prospect of loosing her, Steph must have been feeling ten times worse at the prospect of being lost. He knew she cared about them, that’s why she had left. She didn’t want to be the course of yet more pain. Max just wished that she had felt as though she could trust him, then they might not have lost those few precious weeks.

“Max, I’m sorry…” she began, but Max refused to let her do this to herself. Whatever guilt or pain she was feeling, he’d carry the burden for her. He wanted to take that all away from her, anything at all to make her feel happy again.

“Shhh, stop it Steph…” He kissed her lightly on the forehead and pulled her into him even closer. Her head was resting on his chest and he could feel her salty tears soak into his shirt.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t want to leave. But I didn’t want you to go through the same thing again. Boyd and Summer deserve someone who will always be there, not who might be gone in a few…”

She stopped herself mid sentence and turned her head, staring past him in numb shock as if the full reality of the situation had only just hit her.

“You’re not going anywhere” Max said finally, new found determination bubbling up inside him. “I won’t let you.”

“I’m scared Max, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to be without you.”

Max started to stroke her hair, blinking to hold back his own tears. “You won’t die” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. He was trying to convince himself as much as Steph. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“I love you all so much” she continued, her voice barely a whisper.

“And we’ll be here for you every step of the way. Just promise me something.”

Steph lifted her head. Max could see the turmoil she had felt over the last couple of weeks in the tears that flowed freely down her face. “What?”

“Never keep anything from me again. Never feel as though you have to cope alone again. I’m here, right next to you in everything, good and bad. Let me share everything you feel, Steph, and we’ll get through this together. I love you.”

* * *

The next morning, Summer was first to emerge from her room in a sleepy trek to the kitchen for a drink. She stopped in the living room when she saw Max sitting on the sofa.

“Hey Dad” she said, rubbing her eyes, “you’re up early for a Saturday.” Max didn’t answer, he just sat staring at the wall. “Dad?”

“Oh, hi sweetheart. Sleep well?”

Summer looked confused but nodded. “Yeah. What are you…?” She stopped when she saw Steph lying on the other sofa, snuggled up underneath a blanket. Summer smiled.

“I knew it Dad! I knew she’d be back soon!” Summer took a running leap for her Dad’s lap and flung her arms around his neck. Despite this, Max remained solemn. She pulled away and looked him in the face. “Dad, what’s wrong?”

“Steph’s not moving back in Summer. At least, I don’t think she is, we didn’t….” he trailed off and looked at his hands. His daughter slid off his lap and sat down next to him. “We’ll talk later” he continued, his gaze still fixed on an imaginary spot across the room. “Wait ‘til Boyd and Steph are awake. Go and get dressed.”

* * *

”Boyd.” ax called his son as he was on his way out the door.

“Oh hi, I didn’t think anyone was up. I’m just going to meet Sky at the coffee shop, I’ll be back in time for lunch.”

“Boyd, we need to talk.”

“I’m gonna be late Dad, can’t it wait?” Max’s firm, saddened look and the sight of Steph next to him on the sofa told him other wise. He could tell they had both been crying and a wave of nausea swept through him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Just sit down Boyd, we need to tell you something. Both of you.” He pulled Steph into him closer and looked like he was trying his best not to cry.

He shot a confused look at Summer, who was sitting at the far end of the other sofa, near the kitchen door. She looked worried too and was playing with the zip on her jacket. She didn’t know what was going on either, but neither adult had said much too her all morning so she knew that something bad was going on. She’d spent most of the hour it took Boyd to wake up, sitting in her room, endless possibilities flooding through her mind.

None of them were good.

“Kids” Steph began, turning slightly to face them, forcing Max to loosen his grip, “I…”

Usually Boyd would object fiercely to being called a kid but there was something in her small, croaky voice that made him stop. He felt his sister pick up a cushion and lean in close to him, another thing he wouldn’t allow under normal circumstances.

But something was different, that was obvious. He’d never seen Steph look so withdrawn. Neither child said anything, they just waited for her to continue.

“What Steph’s trying to tell you is…” Max began, but Steph placed a hand gently on his arm, stopping him.

“I should tell them” she whispered, and slowly stood up.

She walked over too them and knelt on the floor in front of them, her face red from all the crying and new tears inching their way down her face.

“Steph…” Summer said, her own voice beginning to crack, “you’re scaring me.”

Max had also stood up and was standing behind Steph, looking at his children with regret. They had already lost their mother, this would be too much. No. He stopped himself. They weren’t going to loose Steph, they weren’t.

“I’m…” Steph began again, her voice barely audible over the sobs. “I’ve got cancer.”

* * *

Sky walked down the street, fishing around in her pocket for her keys. She stopped when she saw Boyd. He was sitting in the middle of his front lawn, bouncing a football of the grass. He didn’t even look up, even when she called his name.

“Hey,” she said again, trotting up to him. “I was waiting for you for ages, where were you?”

“Busy” he said simply.

“Well, you could warn me in future if you’re too lazy to get out of bed” she replied in mild annoyance.

“Just leave it Sky” Boyd snapped, and stood up. She jumped in surprise and looked at his expression with concern.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” Boyd made his way up the steps and stood on the porch. “Just leave me alone.” He slammed the door and disappeared inside.

* * *

Steph hesitated as she lifted her hand to Summer’s door but thought it best to knock. She wanted to see how she was doing. She cared about Summer, she cared about all of them. More than hating seeing them like this, she hated that it was all her doing.

“Who is it?” Came Summer’s timid reply.

“It’s me” Steph said, not really knowing what else there was to say. What did you say to an 11 year old after sending their world collapsing to the ground?

“Steph…”

She heard frantic footsteps as Summer ran across the floor and the door flew open. Summer threw her arms around Steph’s waist and buried her head deep into her woolen jumper.

Steph sighed and began to stroke Summer’s hair. “Hey, stop it” she said when Summer started to cry. “You’ll start me off.”

“I don’t want you to die” Summer sobbed.

“I’m not going to” Steph said firmly, wrapping her arms tighter around her shaking body.

“We’re going to help you. Me and Dad and Boyd. The same as you all helped me when I was ill.” Steph smiled and a tear slid down her cheek.

Out in the living room, Boyd slammed the door. Neither girl broke away from their hug but Max turned around and shot him a glance. Boyd’s anger at Sky seemed to melt away instantly and he looked at the floor with regret. Max put his arm around his son and hugged him close.

After a minute, Boyd pulled away from his Dad and gave him a halfhearted smile. Max understood. He watched him walk up to his girlfriend and daughter as they crouched in the doorway. Boyd placed a hand gently on Steph’s shoulder and she turned around, smiling despite the salty tears falling steadily down her face.

She released one arm from Summer and wrapped it around Boyd. The three of them stayed there on the floor, not saying a word, just understanding and being together. Max watched on, he’d already had a good cry. He’d cried enough for everyone Steph had ever met and won over with her gorgeous smile. It was his kid’s turn to be with Steph. Tomorrow they would all feel better and they could get on with fighting together.