Scott sat alone in the living room at the palace and flicked the remote control between MTV and some nature show about snakes. He only barely registered the flashing images on the screen and was staring past the TV at the wall. He finally switched off the television and put the control down on the coffee table.

Scott sighed, rubbing his forehead with his hands for the hundredth time today. It was half past 6, Alf had sent him home and two hours ago from work. ‘You’re not much use to me while you’re moping around like this’ Mr. Stuart had said. He had protested of course, but he knew he was right. He’d done nothing on the boat all day but wish he wasn’t there. But now he was home, he just wanted to go back to work, anything to keep his mind off Dani.

For two days he’d been wondering non-stop what she was doing and how she was feeling but something was stopping him. He had a feeling it was nothing but his stupid pride. He didn’t know where they’re relationship stood. They hadn’t broken up, not officially anyway, just drifted apart.

Argh! Scott punched a cushion to try and alleviate some of his frustration but it did little to change his mood. He’d gone from depression to anger in only a few minutes. He was angry at himself, no one else. Dani was pushing him away, so what did he do? He let her. She was going through hell right now, with Kane and Kirsty, he should have been a better person and stuck by her. What kind of boyfriend was he? Maybe it was his fault.

If you love someone you don’t just abandon them when they need you most. Scott was trying to tell himself that Dani had her family around her, she was OK, but he was just fooling himself. The Sutherlands were falling apart and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. But he could be there for her, not sitting here alone feeling sorry for himself.

Scott hated this. He wanted nothing more than to take Dani in his arms and tell her everything was going to be alright. It wouldn’t, not that easily anyway. But sometimes all it takes is a hug and a few comforting words to make things a little better, at least for a while.

He took the cushion in his hands again but this time threw I across the room, displacing a few books from the bookshelf and sending them clattering to the floor. Dani probably hated him right now. But not half as much as he hated himself.

Scott was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he never heard Hayley walk through the door.

“Hey” she said, entering the living room, “what did that cushion ever do to you?” When she got no reply, she flung her book bag down on the floor and went back into the kitchen. “Tea? Coffee? Juice?”

Scott groaned. “Anything a little stronger?”

“It’s a bit early to start that isn’t it?”

Scott sighed, getting up himself to go and retrieve a beer. Hayley filled up the kettle and put it on to boil and perched precariously on the edge of the table. “You two still fighting?”

Scott shrugged. “I wish. At least then we’d be talking.”

Hayley sighed. “What happened Scott? You two are so right for each other.”

He turned to face her from the fridge and offered her an unsure half-smile. “I just can’t seem to say the right thing. Everything I do upsets her, I tried to just deal with it. I understand that she’s having a hard time right now, but I’ve run out of ways to help.”

Hayley took this in. “Being there is enough.”

“I’ve tried, she just keeps pushing me away.”

Hayley slid of the table and walked towards him. “Don’t you dare think about leaving her now.”

He truthfully hadn’t. He would never dream of doing anything that was cause her that much pain. He’d just needed some space to try and work out what to do for the better. “I swear on my life, I would never do that. I love her so much, but I just don’t now what to do.”

“Well, sitting here isn’t the answer” replied Hayley, softening. “Go and talk to her.”

“And say what?”

“I don’t know, anything. Everything you’ve just told me.” She smirked. “And all the stuff you’ve no doubt been thinking about all day. Alf said you were a bit pre occupied.”

“Yeah” Scott said simply. “I want to sort things out. Maybe I’ll know what to say when I see her.”

* * *

Dani sat in her car, tapping her fingernails nervously on the steering wheel as she stared out the window. She’d parked a little way down the road from the house Scott shared with Noah and Hayley. Dani had been sitting there for a good 10 minutes debating whether or not to go up to the door.

She wanted to talk to Hayley, talk through her problems with her best friend but she didn’t want to run into Scott. Not yet, not until she’d sorted her head out. She was scared of what he might say. She’d been doing all she could to distance herself from anyone who might get hurt, she didn’t want her problems to bring down the people she loved. So Dani had spent her time ignoring him, picking fights about nothing, just to drive him away.

She hated herself for it though. She loved him so much, and anyone could tell he loved her too. She was foolish to think trying to end things this way would stop the inevitable hurt. The truth was it was a thousand times worse than if she had just come out and said it was over.

Dani couldn’t bring herself to though. At least this way she wasn’t outright lying. Not that there was much difference, not that this way made any more sense. Nothing made sense in her life anymore, not without Scott.

Dani had spent the last 2 days going over and over everything in her mind, trying to make some sort of sense out of the mess she had caused. At the beginning she tried to tell herself that it was the right thing to do but she had come to realise that just because she was angry and upset, it didn’t give her the fight to take it out on other people. Especially at the expense of other people’s, and her, happiness.

In those 2 short days, which felt like a lifetime, sinse she last spoke to Scott, she’s done nothing with her waking hours than think about him. She’d spent a good proportion of her sleeping hours thinking about him too. She kept going over and over the last time they spoke. She couldn’t even remember what had been said, it was all a blur. Dani only remembered the feeling of pain and frustration that hung in the air, two emotions that now seems to follow her around where ever she went.

She wanted to believe she was strong, that she didn’t need anyone to help her through this, that she was perfectly capable of dealing with it on her own but it was painfully clear the moment she’d watched Scott walk out the door that she needed him.

Not just because she was feeling fragile, not just because she couldn’t stand seeing her baby sister with the man who had attacked her in the past and now dug up those feelings she was trying so hard to burry. But just because she felt a huge chunk of her was missing when he wasn’t holding her.

After Kane she never thought she could trust a man again. But Will had helped her through it. Then Josh. But neither of them were the one. She wasn’t totally sure if Scott was either but she would never know if she didn’t suck it up and go and see him.

But she had pushed him away. Scott had been so loyal, put up with so much. And she had kept pushing him and pushing him until he had to leave. She was selfish and stupid and however much she wanted things to go back to the way they were she knew she didn’t have any right to expect him to forgive her.

“Get a grip Dani” she whispered to herself, suddenly aware she was talking to an empty car. “This is ridiculous. Just go and talk to him.”

She paused for only a second longer before taking the keys out the ignition and opening the door. She stepped out the car into the heat and found herself squinting because of the sun.

“He’s not going to be there anyway” she muttered to herself as she walked up the path. “he’s still at work.” Dani had thought about going down to the Warf to see him about 20 times today. She couldn’t concentrate in class, she was pretty sure she had an essay to write by next week but she couldn’t, for the life of her, remember what it was on. By the end of the day she’d given up trying to pay attention completely and occupied herself by staring out of the window.

“Come on” she said again, feeling slightly foolish that she was again talking to herself. “What’s the worse that could happen.”

She looked up from the ground to see Scott standing about 5 metres away from her. She stopped dead in her tracks and stared at him, a wave of nausea passing through her. Scott’s face broke out into a smile. “Dani…”

“I uh… I need to talk to Hayley.” She brushed past him, cursing cowardice as she raced towards the house. She didn’t look over her shoulder, she didn’t want to see the look of hurt on his face. She didn’t stop until she got inside and closed the door behind her.

Hayley was standing by the sink looking out the window. She’d seen what just happened and glanced at Dani with a confused look on her face. “Dani, what was that?”

Dani just shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. She sat down at the kitchen table and buried her head in her hands. “I can’t” she said simply, not looking up. Her voice was muffled but she was only half talking to Hayley. “I can’t talk to him, I don’t know what to say. I’ve been so stupid, where do I even start?”

She heard the chair leg scrape across the floor as Hayley sat down opposite her. “Running away from him isn’t the answer.”

“It’s better than making an even bigger fool of myself. I don’t want to act like this, I don’t want to upset him or force him away, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Whenever anyone tries to help me I just run away.”

“Not always literally I hope.”

Dani laughed.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’ve just listened to him pine after you. Trust me Dan, he’s beating himself up too. He thinks it’s his fault.”

Dani lifted her head off the table. “What? No, he’s been brilliant. It’s me who’s stuffed everything up.”