“Bex, where have you been?” Charlie caught the receptionist as she tried to sneak into the department and spoke to her in a hushed, but clearly annoyed voice.
“I’m sorry Charlie, it won’t happen again.” Bex swept her unusually scruffy hair out of her face and willed Charlie to leave her alone. She couldn’t cope with him today.
“You’re right, it won’t happen again” he continued, “You’re nearly an hour late for your shift! The temps are on strike, I had to have Roxy watching the desk, we’re 2 nurses down as it is. Have you any idea how hard it’s been down here?”
Bex had her eyes half closed and was staring at the floor, trying to block out the senior nurse’s voice. “Please, not now. I’ll work extra.”
Charlie looked as if he was about to say something else, no doubt about working as a team or letting the department down… but Simon poked his head out of the door through to the cubicle area and called him away.
Bex was thankful somebody stopped him; she really wasn’t in the mood.
She walked behind the reception desk and sat down on the swivel chair, slinging her shoulder back down on the floor. She picked up a folder and fanned herself in the heat then leant over and switched on the fan. She rested her forehead on the cool surface of the desk and sighed.
Before she had time to collect herself, she was interrupted by Luke. He leaned against the desk and whistled. Bex sat up straight and glared at him. She was met by and elderly man holding a bandage to his head. “What?”
“This is Mr. Jacobsen, 73, fell over in the bathroom and hit his head on the sink.” Luke ran off all the necessary information, all the time looking at Bex quizzically.
“Be right with you” Bex said to the man, trying her best to remain pleasant. She scanned the room for someone to relieve her of the patient. Well, not so much the patient, as her irritating, git of an ex, but it was basically the same thing. “Anna” she called to the nurse as she emerged out of resusc, “are you free?”
“Yup” Anna replied in a sickeningly chirpy voice, “what can I do for you?”
“Can you take a look at Mr. Jacobsen?” Luke cut in, “he cut is head.”
“Sure.” She took the old man by the arm and led him towards the exam room, despite his protests that he was fine.
Luke turned back to Bex when they had left and regarded her with a comical look on his face. “You look awful” he smirked, “you might want to lay off the booze when you’re working the next day. You never could handle you’re drink.”
Bex scowled at him. “Shut up Luke, I’m not in the mood.”
“Hey Luke!” Fin called to him across the waiting area. “We’ve got a shout mate.”
Luke nodded and began to walk away. “You’re never in the mood” he muttered as he sauntered off, half to Bex, half to himself.
Bex heard, and any other time she would’ve made a comeback with some witty insult thrown his way but not right now. She let out and exasperated sigh, she hated letting him get one over on her. He just didn’t get it. If he didn’t understand her when they were married what hope in hell did he have now?
She didn’t really expect him to remember, she just wished he would. He always made her feel like this and she hated it. She was too soft on him; she was always giving him the benefit of the doubt. She did think, for one, minute moment that even in that self-important, arrogant head of his, he could’ve remembered today.
* * *
Fin and Luke sat in their ambulance in a lay by next to a main road. Neither were saying very much. Fin reached into the glove compartment and took out his lunch.
“Crisp?” He looked at Luke for a second and rolled his eyes. “Luke?!”
Luke blinked and snapped out of his daydream. “Oh, sorry mate, didn’t hear you.”
“Yeah, I can see that. What’s with you today? You’ve been acting strange all morning.”
Luke sat back in the driver’s seat, leaning off the steering wheel. “Bex” he replied simply.
Fin smirked. “Come one, why’s she getting to you now? You split up, that usually means you stop spending your lives thinking about each other. Anyone would think you were still married.”
“What? No way. I’m over her.”
Fin scoffed, “yeah, ok”
“No, I mean it!” Luke protested, turning sideways in his chair to face Fin. “She was just acting weird this morning, and I got the feeling it was something to do with me.”
“What did you do now?” Fin asked, only half serious “You didn’t get up to anything you shouldn’t have at the pub last night did you?”
Luke looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and insult. “No! I left at 9. I just have the distinct feeling that I’m meant to remember something.” Luke looked as if he was deep in thought for a second then shook it off. “Oh, I dunno. Women hey?” He changed the subject. “So, how’s your love life going?”
Fin smirked. “Brilliant!”
* * *
Bex stood with an empty coffee mug in her hand staring into the sink. She was disturbed when she heard the door click open. She jumped slightly and placed the mug on the draining board, hanging up the wet tea towel.
She swung around quickly, ready to defend herself if it was Charlie and breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn’t. Comfort peered around the door, looking for someone. Whoever it was, wasn’t there and she gave a quick smile to Bex and started to close the door to leave. She paused and came inside again.
“Are you ok?” Comfort asked, with a concerned look on her face.
Bex smiled back. “Yeah, I’m just tired, that’s all. I’ve not been drinking, despite what Luke might say.” The last part of that sentence was said with a degree of spite and annoyance. Comfort picked up on this and walked over to Bex, who was now sitting on the blue sofa in the corner and sat down next to her.
“Are you sure you don’t want to talk? It’s Luke isn’t it? It he getting to you?”
Bex shook her head. It wasn’t Luke, not really. Just the memories. It probably would’ve been a bit better if he had remembered but she hadn’t given him any real reason to want to. She had been sarcastic and bitchy to him ever since he got back. She didn’t want to make a big deal about anything now.
Bex shook her head slowly but didn’t say anything.
“Well, If you want to talk…”
Bex took this in. She didn’t really know Comfort that well. She didn’t really know anybody that well yet, but she seemed nice enough and didn’t seem the type to go spreading gossip. It would be weird to tell your personal thoughts and feeling to a complete stranger, but Bex needed to talk to someone. And maybe someone that she didn’t know would be best.
Bex took a deep breath. “It was 3 years ago…”
* * *
“Maybe I’m just being paranoid” Luke reasoned, taking another sip of his coffee, “I’m not the only thing in her life, there could be any number of reasons why she was feeling off.”
Fin rolled his eyes. That’s what he had just spent the last half and hour trying to convince him. He shook his head. Never mind.
The radio buzzed to life and Fin reached forward for it. Apparently Luke hadn’t heard and he still went on, pondering his ex-wife’s problems. He sighed and turned his attention to the impending job.
“3019, 999 call 3 Thorn bush gardens. Young child with a broken arm.”
“3019 all received. We’re on our way.”
* * *
“Alright babe?” Fin greeted his girlfriend as he wheeled the trolley out of resusc back towards the ambulance. She gave him a smile and kissed him on the cheek. “How’s your morning been?”
Comfort shrugged. “Not great. Is Luke around?”
Fin looked confused. “Chatting up Bex no doubt” he scoffed, “she’s all he’s been going on about all morning.”
”Really?”
”Yeah, he’s been driving me mad with it. Any reason?”
“I think they should talk” she said, without really thinking. Fin looked at her and raised his eyebrows in surprise. Comfort noticed this and shook her head, feigning ignorance. “It’s nothing. Fancy some lunch?”
* * *
”Is my husband here?” A woman, perhaps in her mid 30’s walked up to the reception desk. “His name’s Mitchell Lewis. He was involved in a motorbike accident.”
Bex smiled at the woman and turned to the computer, trying to avert her gaze as she spotted Luke walk towards them. “Ah yes, he’s in cubicle 3, the doctor’s with him right now. Take a seat and someone will be with you shortly.”
The woman rolled her eyes and leant on the desk. “Boys and their toys. Honestly, I don’t think he could get any more useless.”
Bex glared at Luke who was only metres away. “I know just how you feel” she agreed pointedly and Luke looked up.
“Sometimes I think he’s beyond help.”
“Mmm hmm.” Luke heard this as well and walked over.
“Excuse Me,” he said to the woman, and she went to sit down. He turned back to Bex. “Is there something wrong?” He looked at her confusingly.
She suddenly wished she hadn’t tried it on. “Uh, no. It’s nothing. Bad day, that’s all.”
”I know” he said, getting more annoyed. “You’ve been taking it out on me most of the morning. Have I done something to offend you in some way?”
“No, everything’s fine. Can I get on with my job please?”
She turned back to her computer and proceeded to ignore him, wishing more than anything that she hadn’t wound him up and just wanting him to go away. He finally gave in for the second time today and walked off shaking his head. She breathed a sigh of relief when he had gone and went back to burying herself in her job.
* * *
Bex picked her bag up from underneath the desk and yawned. That was tiring day, one she could have done without. Especially since Luke made a point of making snide remarks to her for the rest of the day after their little spat at lunch time and had basically made making her feel uncomfortable his main aim of the day.
”By Bex” Anna called. Bex smiled despite her fatigue and gave a wave in reply. She was exhausted. It sounded stupid when she said it, like sitting behind a desk all day was strenuous. No, what was strenuous, at least emotionally, was having to pretend to be fine when she was far from it.
Not just with the staff and patients, or even Luke. Just with herself. She wanted to be ok. Failing that, she just wanted Luke to stop being so pig headed and realise what today way. She was skeptical about that ever happening and didn’t hold out much hope for him. She would have to settle for a glass of wine and a bath to numb the pain.
The double glass doors slid open and she walked outside as the cool night air hit her and she wrapped her coat around herself tighter. She took her car keys out of her pocket and unlocked the door with an automatic beep.
At least she got one good thing out f her marriage, she thought bitterly as she flung her bag on the floor of the car and got into the driver’s seat. Could have been another….
She quickly turned her attention to the road in front of her, she didn’t want to think about it. She turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of her parking space, intent only on getting home and getting to tomorrow.
* * *
“Hey Luke, has Fin left already?” Comfort jogged down the corridor to meet him.
“Er, no. We’re not off shift yet. He’s gone upstairs with a patient. Shall I let him know you’re looking for him?”
”No, it’s ok.” Comfort watched Luke sit down on one of the chairs in the corridor and joined him. “It was you I wanted to talk to actually.”
Luke looked slightly surprised but not overly concerned. He took a sip of his water and listened to what he had to say.
“Go easy one Bex, yeah” she said and waited for him to reply.
He lifted his head with a defensive expression on his face. “Why should I, she’s been the one having a pop at me all day, tell her to ease up.” He took another swig from his bottle.
“You can’t blame her for being a bit agitated to day. And your attitude didn’t help.”
“What did I do? She’s the moody one.”
“She expected you to remember, the least you could have done was to show her some compassion.”
Luke still looked confused. “Remember what? What’s so special about today?” Realisation suddenly dawned on him. He needed someone to jog his memory and cursed himself allowed for not remembering. “Dammit” he said, and stood up.
* * *
“I’m sorry Bex” came the voice over the answering machine. “Please pick up.”
Bex sat stubbornly on her sofa, listening intently but refusing to do what he said.
“I didn’t mean to be s insensitive, I didn’t think. I never do anymore do I?” he gave a nervous chuckle that made Bex soften. But still not enough to reach for the phone. There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye.”
There was a beep as the message ended, and she sat there in silence for a moment, contemplating his words.
Maybe she was too hard on him, maybe she didn’t give him a chance. The way she acted now, you’d think her marriage were the worst days of her life. It wasn’t like that at all, not really. For a while it had been brilliant, it just kind of fizzled out.
It wasn’t quite as amicable as that statement sounded though, and the way it ended was mostly her fault.
She yawned. It didn’t matter, she’d sort it out in the morning. She’s apologise for her behaviour and the harsh tone she’d spoken to him in all day and then they could get back to the usual spiteful, flirtatious banter that their conversations now consisted of.
No more emotionally heave events being dragged up from their past. Until next year.
* * *
“I just saw Luke” Fin commented to Comfort as she walked out of the A+E entrance. “What did you say to him? Whatever it was, he was in a hurry to get off.”
Comfort shrugged. “Not a lot really, he already knew.”
“Knew what?” Fin probed. “Sorry, if it’s private…”
“Nah, it’s ok. He just figured out what was bothering Bex today. I think he’s gone round to apologise.”
Fin smiled and shook his head. “Those two…. Honestly, half the time you’d still think they were married.”
Comfort paused and looked up at him. “Will we be like that?” she asked with a mischievous grin.
“Hey, what makes you think we’d get that far?” Comfort dug her elbow into his side. “Ok, ok, fine!” he gave in.
They both turned serious and smiled at each other, joining hands. “I’d love to marry you someday” he continued. “I love you.”
“Me too” she replied, but not if we don’t get home soon. It’s freezing!”
“So, how do you think they’re getting on?” Fin continued as the stood up and walked towards the car.
Comfort shrugged. “He’s probably on her doorstep as we speak.”
* * *
Bex was just about to drift off to sleep when the doorbell rang. Her eyes snapped open and she looked straight ahead at the clock on the wall. She groaned. It was only half past 9, it felt like midnight.
She swung her legs over the side of the sofa and wrapped her dressing gown tighter around her waist. The doorbell rang again.
“Ok, hang on!” she shouted as she grudgingly walked down the hallway. She flicked the latch and opened the door, not really paying attention to who was there until he spoke.
“Bex, can I come in?”
He was standing there on the doorstep looking so cold with an apologetic look on his face and she couldn’t resist. She couldn’t let him know that though.
“Yeah, whatever” she said, trying to sound casual. “Shut the door behind you, it’s getting cold.”
He cautiously stepped through the door and wiped his boots on the mat. “I know you got my message” he said, “I really am sorry.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t really expect you to remember anyway.”
“I’m sorry” he said again. Bex rolled her eyes. “I really didn’t mean to forget. I can’t believe I didn’t remember.” That last sentence was more to himself than to her and he looked down at his feet.
“No, I’m sorry” Bex finally replied, her tough exterior falling. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you like that, if I was nicer, you might have more of a reason to remember our marriage.”
“It’s my fault” he said. It really felt like they were going round in circles. “It should be the sort of thing you never forget. Loosing a baby is one of the worst…”
He trailed off, noticing tears begin to well up in Bex’s eyes. He suddenly felt an urge to comfort her. He stepped forward and embraced her. She struggled at first but then gave in, weeping into his jacket.
“It’s so hard” she said, her voice muffled. “And it doesn’t get any easier.”
“I know. I know how it felt for me, it must have been a hundred times worse for you. I should have been more understanding.”
She pulled away for a second and regarded him. She smiled. “Sorry for being such a bitch” she said, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.
Luke laughed and kissed the top of her head and they both sat down. “That goes for me too. Whatever we went through, it was good once. I think its my fault anyway, after the miscarriage I started pulling away.”
She looked mildly shocked for a second. “No, that was me, I was the one who became distant.” They both shook their heads and laughed.
“We’re too similar aren’t we?” he asked. “Stubborn and strong minded. We never wanted to admit our feelings for fear of appearing weak, that’s why we just stopped talking.”
“I wouldn’t exactly say that” she replied, composing herself again. “We couldn’t be more different now.”
“True.”
Bex started to cry again. “I didn’t really want to loose you.” She paused. “Things could have been so different. If only we had that baby, it could’ve worked out so much better. We both wanted it, I guess God didn’t.”
Luke nodded. “Things turned out ok though didn’t they. At least we’re still….. well, not friends but…”
He made her laugh for the first time this evening. “We could get there though right? Or at least be civil to each other?”
Luke turned to face her seriously. “Sure. We created a life together, we’ll always have a special bond.” He stopped and turned back into his usual joking self. “Just don’t tell Fin I said that.”