“Are you sure you don’t want to come?”

Cleo stood outside the hospital entrance waving good bye to Peter and Reese as they headed off on a spur-of-the-moment trip to Disney land without her.

“You know I’d love to come but Weaver wouldn’t give me the time off. I can’t believe Romano agreed.”

“Me neither” Peter replied, “I’d better leave before he changes his mind.”

She kissed them both and pulled her coat tighter around her body in an effort to keep out the cold.

“Have fun, Reese” she signed to the little boy. “Miss you.”

“You come to” he signed back with a sad look on his face.

“No, I can’t. I’ll see you soon.” She kissed him again.

An ambulance pulled into the bay and she was called over by a very cold looking Carter just as Peter’s cab drove up. “Say hi to Mickey Mouse for me!” she shouted before turning her attention to the patient. The last patient of the shift, she hoped. She had to work tomorrow night.

***

Finally. 1 hour and 3 traumas later than she was supposed to be home but at least she had finally got away.

Cleo threw her keys down on the coffee table and headed to the kitchen for a glass of water then slumped down, exhausted on the living room sofa.

She was glad to have the apartment to herself again. Ever since Peter had moved in, she had felt overwhelmed. And since Carla had died, it had got worse. Reese was spending more and more time at the house and sometimes she just needed a break.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Reese, she did, it just painfully highlighted to her all the things she was missing.

Cleo put her glass down on the floor and headed upstairs. She couldn’t just stay there, thinking. She knew that once she went down that train of thought, she would just make everything ten times worse. She just had to keep reminding herself why everything was the way it was and reassuring herself that she had made the right decision.

She knew deep down she had, but that didn’t make anything any easier.

She got undressed and slipped under the bed covers, turning of the lamp. She wouldn’t sleep, but she had to try and accept things the way they were. Cleo lay awake, staring up at the ceiling, imagining what her life would be like now if she had done things differently.

She reached into the top draw of the night stand and brought out a crumpled photo and just remembered, wished and imagined everything the way it should be.

* * *

“Hey Randi, you seen Dr. Finch?”

Abby tried to fight her way through the hoards of patients that were filling up the corridors. She dumped her arm full of charts on top of more charts and looked around for someone to help.

“Um” The desk clerk looked up from her magazine and put down her coffee. “What?”

Abby sighed. “Dr. Finch. Have you seen her?”

“Uh, yeah. She took a patient upstairs to surgery about five minutes ago. Should be back any minute.”

“Anyone else around, we’re getting swamped.”

“Dr. Chen’s in exam 3 and Dr. Kovac is in sutures.”

As the nurse walked away, Randi muttered to herself, “I’m soooo glad I only answer the phones” and went back to reading Vogue.

Abby headed toward sutures to find Luka and bumped into Carter. “Hey Abby, I’ve got a pedes. case next door, seen Cleo?”

“Nope, you fancy taking a toe lac in curtain 1?” Abby forcefully thrust the chart at Carter.

Carter raised his hands defensively and shook his head. “Sorry, no can do. Got to stop this kid puking all over the floor.” He gave Abby a sarcastic looking smile. “Be sure to give it to me when Cleo reappears though.”

“Yeah, yeah...” she said and went to pounce on Luka.

* * *

Cleo stepped into the crowded elevator to take her back down to the ER. She had been trying to avoid being down there for too long all day, not wanting people to notice how tired she was looking. She couldn’t handle everyone asking her what was wrong all day, and she certainly didn’t want to tell them the answer.

She reached the ground floor and took a deep breath, composing herself. She stepped outside into the mad whirlwind and moved aside just in time to avoid being mown down by a hyperactive little kid. She was met with an apologetic smile from Yosh and continued towards the desk to receive her next patient, smiling and shaking her head.

“Oh, Dr. Finch.” Randi called her over. “Abby was looking for you, Carter’s got a pedes. case in exam 3 and your sister called.”

Cleo put down her chart and looked at the desk clerk in shock. She probably looked a bit stupid but a sudden wave of nervousness came over her. She shook her head and snapped back to reality. “What?”

“A 10 year old with a broken hip” she said, not really caring all that much about it and took a bite of her sandwich.

Cleo stepped behind the desk and came up behind her. “No, I meant about my sister.”

“Oh, right.” Randi rummaged around in the pile of magazines, food wrappers and assorted hospital papers and retrieved a pink post-it note. “She said... ‘She’s moving to Canada, she can’t take him with her and see you later.’”

She swung around in her chair and gave Cleo a puzzled look as she handed her the note. “Is something wrong?”

“Uh, no... I’m fine” she replied and walked away.

She wasn’t fine, far from it. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of her. She had been dreading this moment for five years. Why now? Just when she had almost got her life sorted out. She had found the man she wanted to spend her life with and her job was going fine. Why now?

She headed into the doctor’s lounge and sat down, terrified at what was going to happen. She couldn’t say she was in disbelief, she had known that this moment had to come sooner or later, she just wished it could be later.