He had not seen Holly for over an hour. Not properly anyway. He tried to engage in conversation with her when he ran into her, literally in the corridor but she only muttered something about not looking where he was going and carried on. He suspected she was trying to avoid him, and he couldn’t blame her but he was going to find her and apologise before lunch time. Which was in 20 minutes if the rota was anything to go by but he suspected that Max would make him work to make up for the extended break he took earlier.

Not that he needed to work. The department was uncharacteristically quiet. In 10 minutes they had only seen 3 patients, in stark contrast to how it was earlier. It was sometimes the way. If people saw there was a huge waiting time they’d up and leave, heading off to go and harass staff at another hospital. Patrick wasn’t going to complain, at least he wouldn’t get whacked in the face again.

Kirsty Hargreaves, as he had discovered their surname to be when he inquired to Chloe about her progress, had gone up to surgery soon after he’d come inside. Mum Kate and step dad Julian. It turned out she had broken her collarbone, an injury that showed up on the x-ray and needed fixing back in place. Chloe had been a bit suspicious about why he wanted to know but gave in eventually. It was rare he even inquired about his own patients after they had gone upstairs. ‘They’re not our problem anymore’ he told the nursing staff on more than a few occasions.

The rest of the family were still in the relative’s room. He didn’t disturb them though. He made a mental note to see them again before his shift was over, but he didn’t want to think he was stalking them.

Stalking. Probably not the best choice of words. He was worried about Holly, even though she wasn’t. He hadn’t sent her those gifts, but who had? It was probably nothing, just a mix up. He wasn’t going to start worrying her, he was probably just overreacting.

Holly. He still had to go and find her. He didn’t want her going home thinking that he was a selfish stubbon man who wouldn’t admit when he was wrong. She wouldn’t be far off the mark but she didn’t want Holly to think of him that way.

However, he had discovered in the last 24 hours that he wanted her to think of him that way. Spence and Becca had been right, he did want her. He cared a lot but he was sure she thought it was only as a friend. They didn’t even act like they were that half the time, more often than not they were getting on each others nerves and anyone looking would’ve thought they hated each other but it wasn’t true.

Sometimes he wondered whether they had ever gone out at all. That time seemed a million years away from where they were at the moment. He supposed they had moved on sinse then, they had a better idea of how the other one thought but that, in many ways, was a bad thing. Now they knew all the bad things and how exactly to wind the other up. Patrick had got the flirting/arguing thing down pat.

“Oh, Barney?” The nurse turned on his heel and looked at Patrick expectantly. “Is Holly about?”

“Staff Room I think” was the reply and he continued down the hall.

A hundred people had probably passed Patrick before Barney did but he only just snapped out of his daze. Yawning, he stood up, anxious to get to see Holly before someone else grabbed him to do some work.

* * *

Nearly 15 minutes later was the first chance Patrick had to get away from work. It was nearly time for his lunch break and he still hadn’t had a chance to talk to Holly. Thanks to a sprained wrist and stomach craps, now was the first opportunity he had.

He finally ran into Holly, not in the staff room but by the patient board.

“Holly” he said simply. She looked up and he could tell she didn’t want to be there. The only reason she had not run away, he thought, as that she had her face buried in some patient notes and didn’t see him coming.

“What do you want Patrick, I’m very busy.”

“I just wanted to apologise for what I said this morning. And sinse my first apology fell flat, yesterday too.”

“Patrick Spiller, saying sorry. Must be a special occasion.”

“Come on Holly, I’m doing my best here.”

Holly sighed. “I know. I just wish you wouldn’t take everything out on everyone else. You’ve been throwing your weight around all morning. You know, some things are your fault.”

“Like that boy dying you mean?” Patrick had a slight edge to his voice. He was trying to pick a fight again and cursed himself for not stepping down.

“Patrick, that’s not what I meant. You just act like you’re the only one that matters, that everyone should just learn to deal with it. ‘I’m the amazing Dr. Spiller. Nothing’s ever my fault, I’m just wonderful.’” Holly’s voice had started in a high, mocking tone but by that last statement she was looking angrily at Patrick and her voice matched the expression on her face. “You’re not the only one who has bad days.”

She was called away by Duffy soon after and he watched her walk away, sighing. Things were worse than when he first came over. And he was pretty sure it was her who caused the argument that time but he was beginning to wonder. Maybe she knew him better than he thought. He admitted to himself then that he did act like he was the only one that mattered, that no one could possibly understand how he felt.

The last thing Holly said stuck in his mind. A ‘Bad day?’ Understatement of the year.

He turned around to head out to get some lunch and found a familiar pair of eyes looking at him. Becca was standing there with her arms folded looking older than her years. She was looking at him the same way his nosey aunt May might. ‘Stupid boy, what did you go and do that for?’ he could hear her say but shook the image from his head.

“You were arguing again weren’t you?” she asked rhetorically, grinning.

Patrick nodded. “Yeah. You shouldn’t really be back here.”

She seemed to ignore him because she didn’t move. “When me and my sister argue Mum tells us to count to 10 before we raise our voice. You didn’t count did you?”

Patrick shook his head. She could tell this one would be a nightmare at home. She looked like the sort of child who got her own way in the playground. “How is your sister?” Patrick asked, changing the subject.

Becca shrugged. “The doctor said she’ll be Ok. He’s talking to Mum and Julian now. They sent me to get a drink.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re getting one.” Patrick said, lightening up a bit.

“I didn’t like anything in the machine. Mum says fizzy drinks are bad for your teeth.”

Patrick rolled his eyes and found himself smiling. “She’s right. How about some orange squash?”

After popping their heads into the relative’s room to let Becca’s parents know where they were going, the two of them headed into the staff room. After beating off Charlie’s protests about it being ‘Staff Only’ by reminding him how many times Louis had been in there, they sat down on the hard blue sofas with a glass of orange and a cup of coffee.

It was probably because of Louis and Milo that there was anything besides tea and coffee in here anyway.

Becca had amused herself for a while playing with Patrick’s stethoscope but had sinse discarded it and went back to giving Patrick her version of the Spanish inquisition. Probing a stranger about their love life was obviously far more interesting than playing doctor.

“Why don’t you ask her out?”

Patrick didn’t think that required an answer, she’d been talking to him long enough to know that he just didn’t want to. But the more he though about what to say in reply the more he couldn’t remember the reason. “I don’t know” he replied truthfully.

Becca took another gulp of drink and set it down on the table. “How come?”

Patrick didn’t say anything. The kid was making him think about his feelings and he didn’t like it. Feelings were always things that were just there, on the surface. Something you just showed the world, not something you actually ‘felt’. “Stop asking questions” he told her. “I think you better get back to your parents.”

Becca shrugged. “Ok” she said, and hopped off the chair. “But I still think you’re silly.”

Patrick rolled his eyes and followed her out of the room. “Do you really?”

“Yeah” she told him simply. “I do. I think Holly thinks your silly too.”

Patrick couldn’t help laughing. “Probably, but not for the same reason.”

“I think she wants you to ask her out.”

‘Listen to her’ he though, ‘she’s never even met Holly.’ Patrick reasoned that she’d probably been spying on most of the department; she seemed that sort of child.

“Go on!” she said rather too loudly.

Patrick stopped. “Make me!” he said, sticking out his tongue.

* * *

Patrick glanced at his watch in between suturing a patient’s arm. 6:49pm. The afternoon had gone by with little event. Holly continued to avoid him, Becca continued to get on his nerves until she disappeared off upstairs and Max was still on his back about work. All in all, it had not been nearly as crappy as the morning. At least he didn’t kill anyone.

“Am I boring you mate?” The businessman asked with slight amusement.

Patrick shook his head. “Sorry, I’m just tired. Shift’s nearly over.”

A few minutes later he’d sent the man on his way with some medication and an outpatients appointment. When he’d reached the staff room he took of his stethoscope and badge and chucked them onto the top shelf of his locker. He grabbed his coat and his bag and spun around to see Holly coming through the doorway.

“Listen Patrick” she said quickly, in much the same manner as he had that morning. “I’m sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier. I know you’ve been having a bad day, I can’t have helped.”

“Nah” Patrick said, slinging his bag over his shoulder and adjusting his collar, “It wasn’t you. I guess yesterday must have got to me more than I thought.” He paused, smiling. “Being stuck on a boat with Spencer…!”

“He’s the one I feel more sorry for” Holly replied, grinning in that way Patrick loved. She tucked her hair behind her ears and looked at him. “Listen, if you want to get a drink or something now, I’ve got some wine back at my place.”

Patrick was slightly surprised. After the way he’d been today he wasn’t expecting anyone to want to socialize with him. “That would be great, I’m not really in the mood for a pub” he said, moving towards the door. “There’s something I have to do first.”

Holly nodded, smiling. “Sure.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Patrick re-entered the hospital with a carrier bag under one arm. He walked through A+E as it was the quickest route but he really didn’t want to hang around in that place more than he had to. He pushed the ‘up’ button on the lift and waited impatiently for it to arrive. He didn’t want to keep Holly waiting, didn’t want to ruin the gesture of friendship she had given him, but he had to do this.

* * *

Holly glanced through the slats on the window into a room in ITU. She smiled at what she saw inside.

“I bought these” he said to the exhausted looking woman who was resting her head on the bed, holding her daughters had. “For Kirsty and Becca.” Kirsty wasn’t unconscious now, only asleep. But he guessed she wouldn’t stop worrying until she had her child home.

Patrick handed her the bag with 2 cuddly teddy bears inside. She smiled. “You didn’t have to, you didn’t even treat her.”

“I know” he said, smiling at the sleeping child, “but I wanted to. Becca helped me to see sense today.”

Mrs. Hargreaves looked at him in surprise. “Helped? How’s that.”

“Oh, she showed me the errors of my ways. She helped me realise something that I knew for a while.”

“Thank you” Kate said, “For the toys I mean. I’ll tell her when she gets back from the car with Julian.”

Patrick said his goodbyes and left. He saw Holly outside and looked confused. “What are you doing up here? How did you find me?”

“Chloe said you had been asking after this patient. I just guessed.” She looked through the window again. “What are you doing up here anyway?”

“Nothing” Patrick said, in a nonchalant manner. “Saying thank you that’s all. I’ve been getting life advice from a 6 year old.”

“Really” Holly laughed, “someone eventually tried to talk some sense into you did they?”

“Oi!”

Holly sighed. She was never going to understand this man, she didn’t know why she even tried.

“How about that drink then?”

They walked out of the hospital into the car park close together but not quite touching. Neither of them were ready for that step yet. It would come though. Becca, however irritated Patrick had been with her through out the day, had made him see that what Spencer had been winding him up about on that boat was true, he did want Holly to be more than his friend. He was going to do it properly this time, not mess it up like last time.

They reached Holly’s car. He’d leave his here, he could get a taxi to work in the morning, he didn’t really care. She unlocked the door and climbed inside, he was about to do the same when Becca walked past him holding her step dad’s hand.

She grinned at him and waved when she saw who he was in the car with. Patrick winked back and got inside.

“I never had you down for the sensitive type Patrick” Holly said, turning the key in the ignition.

“I’m not” Patrick said simply. “Just understanding.”

Holly knew that was a lie ‘That’ll be the day’ she thought to herself but didn’t want to spoil the moment. “Home then?” she said and they drove off together.