Homeless Once More, Part Eleven
By Cathy Roberts
glroberts@bigfoot.com
Over the next couple of days, John's medical and mental conditions improved. He no longer had periods of confusion, although he did have times when he was forgetful. McIntyre moved him to a room on the unlocked end of the psychiatric ward, which cheered John quite a bit. McIntyre also allowed him to have visitors, which didn't thrill John until McIntyre assured him that he could pick and choose who visited his room. John promptly made up a list of acceptable visitors, which included his parents, but not his grandparents. It also included Peter Benton, Maggie Doyle and Kerry Weaver, but no one else from the hospital.
McIntyre spent as much time with John as his schedule would allow, but John refused to discuss the assault. Even so, McIntyre couldn't find any reason to keep him hospitalized any longer. He spoke at great length with Drs. Anspaugh, Lee, Greene and Weaver regarding John returning to work. It was agreed that although his shoulder injury hindered him physically, there was no reason that he couldn't return to his normal work schedule, even if it would be for only a few weeks until he would need to take time off to have arthroscopic surgery on that shoulder. Dr. McIntyre believed that any amount of time spent at work would be better than none at all for John at this point.
On Friday morning, McIntyre went to tell John the good news. On his way to John's room, McIntyre stopped at the nurses' desk to inquire how his patient was doing.
The charge nurse grinned, "Well, just fine if you like caged lions."
"Has he been giving you a difficult time?"
"He never gives us a difficult time, Dr. McIntyre. He's just putting a hole in the floor with all his pacing. All of his vital signs are good and there are no signs of confusion or dizziness."
"Good. Thanks, Dana."
When McIntyre entered the room he saw that Dana hadn't been exaggerating about John's incessant pacing. John was busy walking the floor, not even stopping to greet the doctor.
"Well, it's good to see that you feel up to getting some exercise."
"Walking is the only thing that I'm allowed to do in here. I want to go home."
"I know. Are you experiencing any dizziness?"
"No. I'm not having any trouble with my vision either. I'm well enough to leave the hospital." John stopped then and gave McIntyre a very intense look. "When are you going to let me leave? Or are you planning to keep me locked up in here indefinitely?"
McIntyre decided not to remind John that he wasn't locked up, but could actually leave at any time, just like any other hospital patient. "I haven't seen any signs of abnormal behavior since the day you injured yourself. I really don't see any reason why you can't go home today; provided that Dr. Greene agrees, which by the way, he does."
John smiled, "Are you saying that I can leave today? Now?"
"Well, not that quickly. Dr. Greene and I do have to fill out some paperwork and Dr. Greene needs to check you over one more time before you can be discharged. Once you've been given a green light by Dr. Greene, then I'll call your parents and have them come to pick you up."
"Why?"
"It's generally customary for a patient to have someone, usually a relative, give them a ride back home."
"I have no intention of going to their house."
"Then where do you plan to go, John? Back to the apartment?"
"That's home."
"Are you sure that you can handle going back there?"
"I'll have to, won't I?
"John, it isn't necessary for you to force yourself to go back there. You should give yourself some time."
"Dr. McIntyre, I've had plenty of time to just sit and think about what happened. Maybe too much time. I want out of here and I want to go home. I don't think I need to give myself any more time to come to grips with what happened."
"Okay. You do have my number if you need it. I'll go and see if I can find Dr. Greene."
"Thank you."
"It might also make you feel better to know that we think you can return to work on Monday morning; provided that you feel up to it."
John nodded. "I do. I'm more than ready to get back to work."
"I quite agree with you about that. I'll leave and give you a chance to pack."
"Would you mind letting Dr. Weaver know that I need to talk with her? I think that she's getting off duty at noon and maybe she can give me a ride home."
"I'll do that. I'll go down to the E.R. myself to talk with her and Dr. Greene.
"Thanks for everything, Dr. McIntyre."
"You're welcome, John." McIntyre left for the Emergency Room.
John was dressed and more that ready to leave by the time Kerry was off from work. Mark was still with him, finishing up his part of the paperwork.
"Okay, sign here and you are free to leave," Mark handed the papers to John.
"It's about time," John muttered as he signed.
"I see I'm right on time," Kerry said as she entered the room.
John looked up and smiled at her, "I'm ready to go."
"I'll go get a wheelchair." Mark headed for the door.
"There is no way that I'm leaving here in a wheelchair. If I can walk up and down these halls then I can walk out on my own."
"John, you know that it's hospital policy," Kerry said.
"Kerry, do you really want me to tell you what you can do with hospital policy?"
Kerry sighed, "Not really. Okay. No wheelchair. Did you call your parents to let them know you were being released?"
"I spoke with them today."
"You didn't answer my question, John," Kerry said.
"I told them that I might be released today and that I would call them later. I'll call them from your place, okay?"
"First thing?" she asked.
"First thing, I promise."
Kerry nodded, "Let's go then."
John put on his coat, then picked up his suitcase and headed out into the hallway. Kerry and Mark caught up to him at the elevators.
"Anxious to leave, aren't you Carter?" Mark asked with a grin.
"I don't mind working here, but I have not enjoyed having to stay here, that's for sure," John replied.
The elevator doors opened and the three of them got on, then pressed the buttons for the floors they needed. Surprisingly, there were no other stops between the psychiatric floor and the main floor.
"This is your floor, guys. Kerry, I'll see you tomorrow. Carter, I guess I'll be seeing you again on Monday morning." Mark held the door open.
"Bright and early." John replied as he and Kerry exited the elevator and headed for the parking garage.
The doors shut and Mark continued down to the E.R. floor. He hoped that Carter wasn't rushing things by insisting on returning to Kerry's apartment. Although, if Carter wasn't capable of handling it, then McIntyre wouldn't agree to it, right? The doors opened and Mark stepped out of the quiet elevator and into the familiar chaos of the E.R.
"Did I tell you I was house-hunting?" Kerry asked as they pulled out into traffic.
"About a hundred times."
"That often, huh? Well, I found one I like. I was hoping that you and Adam would go with me tomorrow to look at it again."
"I'm willing. Where is it?"
Kerry told him the street address and neighborhood name. "It's a short walk from the El in one direction and about a three block walk to a bus stop in the opposite direction. It's a cute row house with a nice, but small backyard. It has a finished basement that has its own bathroom with a shower. There isn't an outside entrance to the basement anymore, but it's still a nice room. If you don't like it, there is a second bedroom upstairs. I had thought about using that room for an office and exercise room, but I'm flexible."
"Kerry, you don't need to ask my opinion. This will be your house, not mine."
"I know that, but I figured that since you'll be renting a room from me that you should at least be able to choose your room."
"If you had been living there already and I showed up to rent a room from you, would I have a choice?"
"Well, no, but this is different, John. We'd be moving there together."
"The basement sounds just fine, Kerry." He was thinking there would be less stairs for her to navigate if her office was on the same floor as her bedroom. "I imagine that a mortgage payment is going to be more than your current monthly rent."
"A little."
"I don't know if I can afford to pay you much more than what we had already agreed on."
"How about if you also agree to do any household repairs and yard work? I can't do any of that, so having you do it would spare me the expense of having to hire someone."
John nodded, "I'm okay with a hammer, but I won't be able to do much until my shoulder heals.
"It's a deal then. You do all the maintenance and I'll do the cooking."
"I think I can live with that. You were pretty sure I was going to keep living with you, weren't you?"
"I was hopeful, especially since you didn't mention wanting to move out. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Why were you so reluctant to tell your parents that you were going home today? I thought you were getting along much better than before."
"We are. It's just that I know they would have wanted me to go home with them and I was afraid that I would give in to their wishes and go. I know I haven't lived there long, but the apartment is my home. If I don't go back there now..." His voice trailed off, but Kerry knew what he meant. He needed to face his fears and he couldn't do that by avoiding the apartment.
John continued, "Besides, I hate their house. I always have."
Kerry came to a stop and put the car in park. "We're here."
John got out of the car and looked up at the apartment building. He didn't feel nervous or fearful and he thought that was a good sign. Kerry had gotten out of the car and opened the trunk for him, so he got his suitcase out and closed the lid, then followed Kerry into the building. It wasn't until Kerry opened the door to the apartment that he began to feel anxious. He had to step into that apartment, he told himself. 'You can't run away forever,' he thought. 'Says who?' Taking a deep breath, he stepped across the threshold. Adam was in the living room, sitting on the couch and watching television.
"Hey, John. Do you need help with your stuff?"
"No. I only have this suitcase. How are you?"
"I'm doing great. You look a lot better than you did the last time I saw you."
"Adam!" Kerry couldn't believe that her brother was either so insensitive as to mention the night of the assault or too dense to realize what he had just said.
John smiled slightly, "It's okay, Kerry. I guess I do look better than I did then. If you'll excuse me, I need to go unpack."
Kerry waited until she heard John close the door to his room before she walked over and slapped her brother on the back of his head.
"I can't believe you said that."
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to say and that just slipped out."
"Well next time, don't say anything at all." Kerry hung up her coat then sat down on the couch. She sighed as she rotated her head from side to side and rubbed her neck.
"Rough morning at work?" Adam asked.
"Not really. I guess I'm just tense because I was worried about how John would handle being back here."
"I think he's doing fine, despite my stupid remark."
"He never looked at the kitchen. I noticed that he managed to look everywhere except there."
"He just needs to take his time. He'll be fine, Kerry."
"I hope so."
They heard a door open and then John called out, "Kerry, is it all right for me to use the phone in your bedroom? I want to call my parents."
"Sure, no problem."
They heard him walk into her room and close the door.
"Sis, have you given any thought to the idea of telling him about what happened to you?"
"Actually, I've done more than think about it. I spoke with Dr. McIntyre. He told me that John refuses to discuss the attack and that my telling John about my assault might help him open up. He needs to talk to someone about it or it will eat him up inside."
"Well sis, I can't think of anyone who's a better listener."
"Thanks."
"You are most welcome. Did you ask John to go with us to see that house you like so much?"
"I did and he said he would go. If the two of you agree with me that it's a good deal then I'll make an offer for it tomorrow. Then I can give notice to the landlord. With a little bit of luck, we can be out of here before Christmas."
"That would take lot of luck."
"I can be hopeful."
"I guess. So, what's for lunch?"
"Your thoughts never stray far from food, do they?" She grinned at him.
"Sure they do. Sometimes they stray to women and then from there they stray to sex, then back to food. Speaking of women, do you happen to know Randi's work schedule for this weekend?"
"Randi? As in the desk clerk in the E.R.? That Randi?"
"The very one. I want to ask her out, but every time I come by to see you, she's either off or on her break. So, do you know her schedule?"
"I only know that she was coming on at noon today. Why don't you call her?"
"I'll do that."
"I just can't imagine you and Randi together."
"Relax, sis. I'm not planning on marrying her or anything."
"That's a small comfort."
"Yet." He grinned broadly at her only to have a small pillow thrown at him.
"Now you're in for it, Kerry. You obviously forgot that I know all of your ticklish spots."
Adam lunged over and pinned her to the couch, tickling her unmercifully.
Kerry squealed, then attacked him back. "I know all of your weaknesses too."
The two tickled each other until they ended up in a heap on the floor, both of them laughing hard.
"Cease fire," Kerry gasped out. "Stop right now or I won't feed you."
"Ooh, that's fighting dirty." He stood, still laughing as he helped her to her feet.
"I knew you would see things my way." Kerry went into the kitchen to prepare lunch.
"Yeah, it's that subtle approach you use. Works every time."
"Get your butt in here and help cut the vegetables for a salad."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am."
"Yes, Bossy." Adam used his childhood nickname for her.
Kerry smiled as she handed him a knife. "And don't ever forget who's boss around here."
John slowly hung up the receiver. He had tried to call his parents three times now and each time all he got was a busy signal. He decided to wait a little while longer before trying again. He looked around Kerry's room, thinking how much of her personality was reflected in its décor. It was a room that made him feel calm and comfortable. A sadness tugged at his heart as he heard the cheerful laughter from the other room. It had been a long time since he had felt that cheerful. Too long.
John stretched out on Kerry's bed and sighed, not wanting to think about his feelings. Not wanting to think period. He closed his eyes, intending to just rest for a few minutes. Within moments, his breathing became steady and even as he fell into a deep sleep.
Jenny came out of the bathroom, her hair still damp from her bath. She immediately saw that Roland was upset. He was sitting on the side of the bed, his hand still on the telephone receiver.
"Did you call John to let him know we would be there around two?" she asked.
"I tried. John was discharged this morning."
"I know he said that he might be discharged today. Are you sure that he's not there?"
Roland nodded. "After the desk told me he had been discharged I called Dr. McIntyre. John went home with Kerry Weaver."
"Oh." Jenny sat down on the bed beside her husband.
"Why would he do that, Jenny? What on earth would make him want to go back to that place?"
"I don't know, hon. I guess it was something he felt he had to do."
"I really thought that he would be coming home with us. I thought that he would want to come here."
"You know he doesn't like it here."
"So he would prefer to go back to the place where Dan Litvak attacked him?" Roland shook his head. "I simply do not understand this. And why wouldn't he tell us that he was being discharged? Was it my imagination that things were going well between the two of us?"
"No, I don't think it was your imagination. Why don't you call him and check to see how he's doing? Maybe he just didn't have a chance to call yet. I have Kerry Weaver's telephone number. John gave it to me." She opened the nightstand drawer and took out a notepad, then opened it to the page with the address and telephone number of the apartment.
"Don't be hard on him."
"I have no intention of being hard on him. I just want to know why he felt he needed to sneak out of the hospital, that's all." Roland began to dial.
"And John will think that you're accusing him of avoiding us."
Roland sighed as he listened to the ringing. "I'll be tactful. Hello? Dr. Weaver, this is Roland Carter. Yes, I am calling to speak to John. He was? Well, he never called us. I have been on the phone so maybe we missed each other. Can you call him to the phone for me? Sure, I'll wait."
Roland looked at his wife, relieved. "Dr. Weaver said that John was trying to call us. He must have gotten a busy signal. She's getting him now."
"See, he wasn't trying to avoid us."
"Not totally." Roland's attention went back to the phone conversation, "He is? No, don't wake him. Let him sleep. We'll be home so he can call us later. Thanks."
Roland hung up. "He was asleep."
"That's good. I don't think he's been sleeping well lately."
"If he can easily fall asleep in that place then I guess he is handling it okay."
Jenny hugged her husband. "Did you really ever doubt that he would? He's got that stubborn Carter streak in him."
"And all this time I thought his stubbornness came from your side of the family."
Jenny smiled, "My family is strong-willed. Your family is stubborn."
"Is that a fact?"
Jenny nodded, "It is. Just ask your mother. I know that she would assure you that the Carter men are very stubborn creatures."
"We have to be in order to handle the women we end up being marrying." Roland smiled as he kissed his wife. He felt as if a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He knew that his son still had a ways to go before he was back to being his old self, but being out of the hospital was a step in the right direction.
Adam poured himself a glass of juice and sat down at the table. "Should we wake John for lunch?"
Kerry shook her head, "He can eat at any time, but I don't think he's gotten much sleep this week."
They ate in silence for a few minutes, then Kerry gathered up her courage to approach her brother with a subject that she knew would be a difficult one to discuss.
"Adam, would you be upset if I wanted to find my biological parents?"
Adam leaned back in his chair, his lunch all forgotten. He looked closely at his sister. She was obviously worried about his response because she was looking at her food and not at him.
"No. I wouldn't be upset. But, why would you suddenly decide to look for them now?"
"It's not a sudden decision. I've been thinking about it for quite a long time. It's just that before, I didn't want to do anything that would hurt Mom and Dad. Now that they're dead, I don't see any reason not to try to find them."
"Kerry, it's been thirty-seven, almost thirty-eight years. Do you really think there's any chance of you finding your biological mother after all this time? I don't even want to go into the chances of you finding your father."
"I know that the odds are against me. Still, I want to at least try. Every time I tried to ask Mom about it, she would get so upset, so I finally stopped asking. It didn't mean that I stopped wondering." She looked up at him, a sadness in her eyes. "If it upsets you, then I won't do it."
"It doesn't upset me. Honest. I just don't want to see you get hurt or end up spending the rest of your life looking for someone who doesn't want to be found. Kerry, if this is what you want, then go for it."
"It's what I want to do. I want to know what they look like and why she gave me up for adoption. Was she young and scared? Too poor to raise another child? Do I have other brothers and sisters out there somewhere? Aunts and uncles? Is it even possible that I have grandparents that are still living? I dearly love you and the rest of my family, but it bothers me to think that there may be another family out there somewhere that I'm genetically related to and I may never get a chance to know them."
"I think I understand how you feel. Sis, if you need any help from me, you have it."
Kerry smiled at Adam. "Thank you. I was hoping that you would be on my side. I'm not so sure about our sisters and brother though."
"Does it really matter what they think? Gary has his own family to take care of and Gina and Julia are too busy with their careers to pay much attention to what you're doing. Still, if it really matters to you, I think they will support your decision. Heck, Gina may even want to search for her biological parents as well."
"She just might. I always thought it was amazing that Mom and Dad had so much love to give that they adopted children when they already had a child of their own."
"Well, if they wouldn't have adopted you and Gina, Gary would have had to wait a long time for someone to play with. There's a large gap between him and me." After their mother had given birth to Gary, she had been told that she would never be able to have another child. Thus, the Weavers turned to adoption to fill out their family. Kerry had been adopted first, then a few years later, Gina. It had come as quite a surprise to their mother when she discovered she was pregnant with Adam. Julia wasn't far behind him.
"Well, I for one am glad that Mom and Dad wanted to share their love and home." Adam grinned, "Life would have been so dull without having you and Gina around to torment me."
"Torment you? I thought that you were born for the sole purpose of irritating me."
"I guess that's why we've always gotten along so well, sis. You torment me and I irritate you."
"You aren't eating your salad."
"See? There you go again, tormenting me about eating my vegetables."
"You keep that up and I'll torment you by making you do the dishes."
"Again? Kerry, I've done the dishes every night this week."
"Then you have more than enough experience for the job, don't you?"
"If I eat all my salad, will I have to do the dishes?"
Kerry pretended to think about that for a minute. "If you eat all your lunch, then I'll do the dishes today."
"Gosh, Kerry, you've got a heart of gold."
"Don't push your luck, Adam, or you just might find yourself chained to that sink."
"You have always enjoyed tormenting me, haven't you? Do you threaten John this way?"
"John is a much better at picking up after himself than you are. I've never had to ask him to do the dishes. He just does them. He's a perfect roommate."
"Is he now?" Adam asked with a grin, "And just how do you rate me?"
"Let's just say that I love you with all my heart, but I'm glad that you aren't planning to live with me if you move to Chicago."
Adam slapped his hand to his chest, "Kerry, I'm crushed. You don't want me to live with you? After all the years we spent together?"
"Those years are the main reason I don't want to live with you, Adam. And you know good and well that it would drive you crazy to live with me." Kerry pointed her fork at her brother, accentuating each word of the last sentence.
Adam laughed, "You've got that right. I don't think I could handle living this neatly all the time."
"I've noticed that about you."
The two finished their lunch in idle conversation. Adam told her of his dinner plans should Randi be willing to go out with him, while Kerry told him what steps she needed to take in order to begin the search for her birth mother. After lunch, he went out to the mall and Kerry worked quietly around the apartment, not wanting to awaken John. Getting in and out of her room in order to do the laundry was a bit tricky, but she managed to do it quietly, noticing that he was still sleeping soundly. Dr. McIntyre and Mark had both told her that they didn't think John was getting enough rest, so she was glad to see that he was doing so now. While John was asleep, Kerry had plenty of time to think about when and how to talk to him about her own rape. She decided that one way or another, it would have to be tonight. Hopefully, Adam would go out on a date and she would have plenty of time to talk with John. If Adam wasn't lucky enough to convince Randi to go out with him, then Kerry would just have to tell Adam to go out alone. That decision made, she only had to worry about how to tell John about what had happened to her. That was going to take a lot of thought, and she prayed that she would be able to find the right words.