Disclaimer: see part one
I got this background from Kay's Kornucopia go and pay her a visit, she has some great graphics! J
Author's Note: I'm assuming that not everything is curable in the 24th Century. Some of this also comes from watching Knots Landing too much and getting too involved. Those of you who have seen it or remember it will know what I mean, when you read it. Contains some swearing and angst
About 2 months later
Annie, walked, no waddled down the corridor towards Sickbay, smiling at all the crewmembers she met. The Doctor had asked for her to visit Sickbay as soon as possible. Annie knew what it was all about, it had only been a matter of time.
Annie walked into Sickbay and found the Doctor in his office, reading something on his computer screen.
The Doctor looked up when he heard the doors hiss open.
Annie smiled at him.
"I assume you know why I've asked you here?" the Doctor leaned back into his chair, unsure as how to position himself.
"Yes Doctor, I do"
"Are you in any pain?" the Doctor stood now and pulled out his medical tricorder and scanned Annie.
"No more than usual, it's only a slight niggling at the moment, but I've learned to deal with it"
"Why didn't you come to me sooner?" the Doctor's voice was sympathetic, yet annoyed.
"And what would you have done, Doctor?" Annie was beginning to feel tired, it was happening a lot recently, but she failed to inform the Doctor. Annie carefully moved over to the chair and slowly sat down.
"I I could have done something" he looked sympathetically at Annie.
Annie looked at the Doctor and took his hand he kneeled before her.
"As brilliant as a doctor you are, you couldn't have done anything and you know that as much as I do"
"I'm sorry Annie"
"So am I, but I'm learning to accept the idea" she smiled at him, then looked up when she heard the doors to Sickbay open and Tom Paris walked in.
The Doctor stood and turned to face Tom.
"Hi Doc, Annie, everything alright?" Tom asked
"Everything is fine Mr Paris, I was just scanning the baby, making sure all was ok"
"And is it Doctor?" Annie asked, smiling at the two men before her, each looking somewhat concerned, for different reasons.
"Yes, you you're baby is fine Annie. Mr Paris, could you please check that Naomi's medical experiment is going well? I promised her I would keep an eye on it for her." The Doctor turned to Tom and tried to smile.
"Sure Doc, is it in the lab?"
"That's right Mr Paris. Thank you"
"See ya later Annie, I want to go over a few things before tomorrow night"
"Ok Tom, speak to you later, after I've spoken to the Captain" Tom stepped into the lab, leaving Annie and the Doc alone.
"Tomorrow night?" the Doctor whispered confused.
"Yeah," Annie nodded "myself and Tom are throwing a Party, we've been planning it for the last couple of months. I'm going to go speak to the Captain about it."
"Do you think it's wise to throw a party?"
"Doctor I haven't had a 'knees up' in a long long time and I need one. Everyone is invited, yourself included and I expect to see you there." Annie smiled and held up her hands so the Doctor could help her up.
"You're going to tell them aren't you?" the Doctor asked quietly
"Yes yes I am, I want to tell them altogether and this was it won't be so much of a shock for them all"
The Doctor nodded his head gently.
"I've also found something else I think you should know Annie" the Doctor told her.
Annie smiled at him "I know Doctor, I've known for a long time" at the Doctor's surprised look, Annie continued "as Q once said 'we Janeway's are very perceptive'" Annie then kissed him on the cheek and made her way out of Sickbay.
The Doctor looked after her a sad expression on his face.
Annie stood outside Sickbay and rested against the bulkhead. She closed her eyes and began to take deep breaths.
"Annie?"
Annie looked up to see Seven standing before her, with what could be considered a concerned look on her face.
"Seven, hi!"
"Do you require assistance?"
"No, I'm fine, just a little out of breath, that's all" Annie tried to smile but it was more of a pained expression. Seven noticed.
"Should I call the Doctor?"
"It's alright Seven, I've just come from there. Carrying all this extra weight around, takes the breath out of me, that's all" this time Annie managed a small laugh and a brief smile.
"If you are sure "
"Yes Seven " Annie nodded "I'm fine, thank you for asking though"
Seven nodded and carried on down the corridor. Annie watched her go, then went to find the Captain, there was a few things they needed to discuss.
Annie waddled out of the turbolift and onto the Bridge. She looked round, taking in the familiar crewmembers at their posts, beavering away at the jobs they were undertaking.
Annie whistled her amazement and everyone turned to face her.
"So this is the brains of it all" Annie spoke as she moved to Harry's station. Harry smiled at her and she responded in kind.
Kathryn smiled at Annie's presence.
"Yes Annie, this is where some of the action takes place" Kathryn shuffled round in her seat so she could see Annie better.
Annie turned to face her.
"Only some?" Annie asked, somewhat surprised.
Kathryn laughed "Well it's usually here or Engineering, I think B'Elanna would be rather upset if I said different!"
All senior officers present, except Tuvok, chuckled at the Captain's words. Annie smiled also.
"It's smaller than I thought it would be" Annie brought her hand up to rub her nose, so no one could see her smile.
The Bridge went silent and all eyes were on Annie. Kathryn stood up.
"What is?" Kathryn's voice was low.
"The Bridge, I thought it would be bigger"
Kathryn's eyes went wide with horror. Someone was putting down her ship's bridge and that someone was a relative no less.
Annie held up her hands and moved past Harry's station, down to where Kathryn and Chakotay were.
"I'm kidding, really, I'm kidding. It's a magnificent Bridge " Annie said looking as Kathryn. She turned her head to the sitting Chakotay "which is only right, 'cause it's a magnificent woman who commands it" Annie smiled at him then turned back to Kathryn, whose lips were beginning to curl up at the sides.
"Flattery will get you " Kathryn began
"No where" Annie finished for her "I know, as I recall I was the one that gave you that phrase"
Chakotay put his head down and smiled.
Kathryn plastered a smile on her face and spoke to Annie.
"Did you want something Annie?"
Annie laughed.
"As a matter of fact I did. I'd like to talk to you"
Kathryn nodded "Follow me Annie. You have the Bridge Commander" Kathryn walked to her Ready Room with Annie in tow.
"You know, this is a magnificent Bridge and size doesn't really matter " Annie stopped to look back over her shoulder "does it Commander?" Annie gave a huge grin, showing her teeth and began waggling her eyebrows. Annie then stepped into the Ready Room, leaving a shocked Chakotay behind her.
Chakotay stared after them, hearing to very distinctive, yet different throaty laughs.
Chakotay could feel all eyes on him he turned to Harry.
"What?"
Harry grinned "Nothing Commander, nothing at all!"
Chakotay sat back down reading his console "Good" he smiled and shook his head.
Kathryn went and sat down behind her desk. Annie remained standing.
Kathryn looked up at her.
"For crying out loud Annie, sit down" Kathryn said, her smile could be heard in her voice.
"Thank you" Annie slowly lowered herself into the chair. Annie looked at Kathryn and pursed her lips "I'm sorry about out there" Annie indicated with her head "I was only kidding, I didn't mean to upset or hurt you in anyway"
Kathryn smiled at the look on Annie's face. She was so young and vulnerable.
"It's okay Annie, I'm not upset" Kathryn said lightly.
'Not yet' thought Annie
"So what did you want to talk to me about?" Kathryn asked, getting down to business "Business or pleasure?"
"Pleasure and personal" Annie brought her hand to her head as she felt a sharp pain shoot through her head. She let the grimace of pain out before she could control it.
Kathryn grew concerned immediately.
"Are you okay?" Kathryn placed her across the desk to Annie
"Yeah I'm fine just a headache, that's all" Annie tried to brush off her concern.
"You've been getting headaches a lot recently, have you spoken to the Doctor?"
Annie looked up and took a deep breath, her vision was blurred, but soon returned.
"How did you know I've been suffering from headaches?" Annie was surprised that she knew.
"You're a Janeway " they smiled at that "and I've seen you when you've been in pain and tried to hide it"
Annie nodded "I'll have to keep a check on that" her tone was light.
The two women stared at one another for about a minute in silence.
"So what are we discussing first, pleasure or personal?"
"Uhm we'll go with pleasure first" Annie said in a husky voice.
Kathryn laughed "Okay!"
"Tom and I have bee organising a party for a couple of months now and I'm just checking that that will be okay with you?"
"Sounds like great fun, when?"
"Tomorrow night"
"So soon?"
"Well we've been planning it for a while now and I would kind of like to have I before the baby is born. I won't have that much time after she or he is born"
Kathryn watched Annie, there was something in her eyes that she wasn't telling her.
"Okay, tomorrow night it is then. You want me to make an announcement?"
"Yes please, and it's 20th Century attire"
Kathryn raised an eyebrow
"I love the music!"
"Okay, is that the pleasure dealt with?"
"I'm afraid so" Kathryn raised her eyebrow again.
"So we're down to the personal now?" Kathryn could tell Annie had grown very serious.
Annie nodded.
Kathryn laughed nervously.
"I'm not used to seeing you like this, it's beginning to worry me"
"It should" was Annie's only response.
Kathryn's mouth became very dry all of a sudden. She needed coffee.
"Can I get you something from the replicator?" Kathryn stood and went to the replicator.
Annie watched her.
"I'll have a glass of water please" Annie stood and moved over to the couch.
Kathryn brought her coffee and Annie's water.
"Thank you" Annie took the water and sipped the cool liquid.
Kathryn sat next to Annie, took a sip of her coffee and waited for Annie to speak.
"In all my time here, you've never asked me about Phoebe" Annie commented, playing with the rim of her glass.
Kathryn looked at Annie over the rim of her coffee.
"I'm sorry. How is my younger sister?" Kathryn's heart began to race.
"She's fine now"
Kathryn looked at Annie
"You mean she hasn't been?" Kathryn was now concerned for her sister's well being.
Annie took a deep breath, but continued to play with the rim of her glass.
"About six months after you disappeared, Phoebe was in an accident that left her in a coma for several months. Being the dutiful daughter and petrified at the thought of losing my mother, I stayed with her night and day"
Annie sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.
"It was touch and go for a while, but they managed to stabilise her. I stayed and I read to her, had one way conversations with her" Annie chuckled at the memory.
"On this one particular day, I had run out of things to read or say to her. I was bored to say the least" Annie paused to take a drink of her water.
Kathryn watched Annie, tears filling her eyes, she had a feeling she knew what Annie was going to say.
Annie then placed her glass on the table and turned her head to Kathryn.
"I therefore decided to read my mother's medical information. It's not like there was anything that could surprise me" Annie laughed "BOY, was I wrong!"
"Annie " Kathryn began, a lone tear falling down her cheek.
"Don't " Annie said softly "just let me finish"
"Okay" Kathryn nodded gently.
"I could find any information on any pre-natal visits or even my birth" Annie looked down at the bump, the baby was awake. She rubbed the spot where the baby was kicking.
"Annie I'm so sorry" Kathryn whispered.
Annie smiled "Don't be, I'm not"
"What?"
"There arent many daughters who idolise their mothers the way I do you. Me not knowing for years made my bond to you even stronger."
Kathryn gathered Annie in her arms and held her. To both women, it felt like an eternity.
Kathryn took a deep breath.
"You were and still are, the most amazing thing I've ever done" Kathryn smiled at Annie "You were still a baby when the accident happened. Phoebe then looked after you for months, I couldn't cope with the world around me. It was about six months after the accident that I visited you and Phoebe, I still wasn't myself" Kathryn paused to compose herself "your eyes, lit up when I came into the room. Phoebe came in the room several minutes later and you said your first word to her 'Mama'. I was devastated. I then decided that it would be best if she brought you up as her own and and I tried to be there every spare moment I had" Kathryn brought hr hand to stroke Annie's cheek "I never I've never stopped loving you though"
"I love you Mom" they both began to cry and held each other. They stayed like that for several minutes.
Kathryn then whispered in Annie's ear "I've waited a long time to hear you say that"
"I've waited a long time to say it, and I have my reasons for saying it all now" Annie pulled back.
Kathryn wiped the tears from her eyes and cheeks.
"Are you going to let me in on these reasons?" she teased.
"As a matter of fact I am"
"Do I need tissues for this as well?" Kathryn laughed
"You may wan them just in case" Annie spoke seriously.
"Go on" Kathryn said, feeling this knot in the pit of her stomach.
"That night, that uhm you and Chakotay you know "
Kathryn blushed at the memory "Yes"
"I went to the Mess Hall and was paid a visit by your resident omnipotent being"
"Q" Kathryn said closing her eyes, then opened them quickly "Is he sending you back?"
"No he's not, he won't ever be sending me back"
"He won't be sending you home? Ever?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because there is no point"
Kathryn creased her brow in confusion and wiped her eyes once again.
"I don't understand"
Annie took a deep breath.
"Do you believe in fate?"
Kathryn narrowed her eyes.
"I guess so"
"I do"
"Has Q changed your fate in some way?" Kathryn asked concerned, that Q may have messed up Annie's life.
"No, her hasn't changed my my fate, he's just changed where I'll meet my fate"
"I still don't understand"
Annie sighed in frustration, why she thought this would go better was beyond her.
"When I was two months pregnant I had a full body medical scan, the first one I had had in years" Annie looked a way from Kathryn and towards the stars. "They discovered I had a brain tumour which had been growing for months."
Kathryn's face fell and she blinked, she then took a deep breath.
"You're dying" it was a statement, not a question.
"I was told that they could remove the tumour and I could undergo treatment and risk losing the baby and having the tumour possibly return "
Kathryn stood up and began pacing her Ready Room.
"What was the other alternative?" Kathryn asked impatiently
Annie watched her pace. Kathryn wouldn't look at her.
"I could carry on with my pregnancy and eventually die. They gave me four months to live and I've beat that already, and I'm feeling reasonably well" Annie smiled to show Kathryn she meant it.
Kathryn stopped pacing and faced her.
"Now you're lying to me" anger and frustration evident in Kathryn's voice.
Annie remained calm, she had gone through similar situations when she told Phoebe and her Grandmother.
"I'm not lying to you" Annie scratched her head.
"Yes you are, I've seen you in pain" Kathryn swallowed hard "Are you in any pain? And I want to know the truth"
Annie looked up at Kathryn and saw the pain and hurt in her eyes. She closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, her head was killing her, literally.
"Tell me what you're going through Annie" Kathryn's voice was a soft plea.
"I'm exhausted both physically and emotionally. I constantly have headaches, that the Doctor can only alleviate slightly" Annie picked up her glass and took several gulps to wet both her throat and lips "At the moment I'm trying to see this through till the baby is born"
"You make this sound like something other than your life Annie. Shit Annie you're dying"
"Do you think you could say it a little louder, I don't think the rest of the Delta Quadrant heard you!"
Kathryn sat down next to Annie.
"I'm sorry" Kathryn was breathing heavily. "But you can't expect me to accept this"
"I'm not expecting you to do anything, I'm just telling you how it is" Annie felt drained, this conversation had taken a lot out of her "I'm weaker that I'd care to admit" Annie chortled "I guess I just did"
"I don't find this at all funny" Kathryn said angrily.
"Neither do I, but I'm not going to stop laughing or having fun because I'm going to die in a few weeks, and that's why I've planned the party"
Kathryn shook her head in disbelief "A few weeks? Is that what the Doctor has said?"
"No he hasnt said anything, I just know"
"This isn't fair" Kathryn's eyes were covered in unshed tears.
"I know, I'm having a child by the man I love and I'll never get to see her grow up, you don't have to tell me that this isn't fair" Annie's voice grew louder and began to quiver.
Kathryn bit her lip to prevent herself from crying.
"I plan on telling everyone else tomorrow night, at the party"
Kathryn could only nod in agreement.
"I'm going to go and take a nap and I'll speak to you later"
Kathryn nodded once again.
Kathryn stood and helped Annie to her feet. Annie hugged her, Kathryn fiercely returned the hug. Kathryn's shoulder began to move up and down. She was crying.
"Please don't cry, if you do, so will I" Annie held her Mother then pulled back and walked to the Ready Room doors. Annie stopped before the sensor could open the door and turned to Kathryn who was watching her leave, trying to calm herself down.
"I love you!"
Kathryn gave her a teary smile and waved Annie through the door.
Kathryn swallowed back the tears. Annie didn't want her to cry, she was going to give it her best shot after all she was a Starfleet Captain. She walked over to her desk and began sifting through the Padds that covered the top.
'Bee-op'
"Come in"
It was Chakotay, she knew it would be.
"Captain, here is that report you wanted"
Kathryn looked up to take the report from Chakotay, she smiled briefly and looked back down.
Chakotay remained where he was.
Kathryn never looked back up
"Was there something else Commander?"
"I was just wondering if you're ok, we could here you outside"
"What did you hear?" she asked, hoping they hadn't heard much, Annie didn't want them to know, yet.
"Nothing really, just the fact that you were raising your voice" Kathryn nodded.
He continued to stand. Kathryn looked up at him, her lower lip quivering and several tears rolled down her cheek.
"It's not fair Chakotay, it's just not fair"