| August 4, 2002. Sunday Another month's gone by. The summer is finally over. Yet, this month will not be an ordinary one I know. Two of my very good friends will be far far away in Africa for several weeks. Lok (Loretta) will be leaving with a team on this coming Wednesday to Niger for a medical missions trip. I'll see her off at the airport that afternoon. She'll be there for three weeks and probably helping with the medical services and hospitals there. And Samuel Lee's just left Toronto this morning, very early, flying since 6 something am on this three day flight to Kenya. It's a missions trip, to be a resource to the churches there, giving sermons, knowing the local people and living their lifestyle. Yeah, it is quite a different culture, and it is a challenge. However, I do think it is such a special and honourable opportunity to go so far away to a distant people to serve the Lord. So if you know Loretta or Samuel, please keep them in your prayers.. Both Samuel and Lok are such good listeners and friends to me. I know that it will be much tougher for me the during time they are gone . This will be a time for me to learn to be a bit more independent, to take care of myself, to quiet down and pray to God even though it is very hard sometimes. |
| Talking about a not-an-ordinary month.. Yeah, this month will be the last month before the new committee of UT CCF (University of Toronto, Chinese Christian Fellowship) is officially taking the office. I will be female devotional leader - like a shepherd, together with James Wu, as male devotional leader, taking care of the spiritual lives of our brothers and sisters and preparing Bible Studies throughout the year, and Davin Yu, as social coordinator. Just in the last week of August, we'll also have Orientation for the new students. Things are coming in. At times, looking ahead, I do feel a bit anxious too. It is the first time in my life taking up a leadership for God, not for a club, a high school choir, but for God. It's not only leadership, but servant-leadership. Lately, I am also starting to hear suggestions, ideas, criticisms and concerns about our fellowship, our programs and directions next year. These times do feel very hard, whether big or small. I mean, words of criticisms do not some in sugar cubes. They can be quite hard to accept. And after hearing them, I can't help feel I bit discouraged or questioned. I almost would doubt myself. But I think, this is only the beginning. When September comes, and the year starts rolling, I am going to expect even more of these. Right now, I am praying to ask God for wisdom to handle criticisms. How to listen, filter, discern and transform what I learned into useful and effective blessings for my fellowship. I was feeling very mellow today. I felt a little bit helpless, and I called up a big brother to talk. He prayed for me. And after praying, I come to be reminded once again that the fellowship, the campus ministry, is not mine, but God's. After all, after all my hard work, hard thoughts, and hard times, God will take care of it Himself. He's the boss. And He's not like a typical CEO in corporate business who only cares about his own companies profit and pushes his employees with unreasonable, impossible, and stupendous quotas. Rather, God will only ask for the best I can do. |
| August 14, 2002. 3:45am Yup, staying up a little early or a little too late...? It's 'cause of the nap I took this late afternoon. Oh well, that's what happens when I have a day off and stayed home all day! Today I am excited though. About two things at least. One is that my trial of "speaking my heart out" actually worked. For the first time I put myself together and speak what's on my heart to two people I was never used to speaking up to. But this time, when I tried, they actually listened closely, they understood what I meant, and they actually responded positively to my ideas! What joy and hope it means to me! And tonight, while I called my Mom's cell for some business-y stuff, my sister picked up, jus 'cause she was using it. But my sister was in a great mood today. She actually chose to talk to me! How long have I been waiting for! I can actually hear a voice of a growing young adult. She's turning into a grown-up. I feel that she is talking to me like a friend! Certain things that mattered to her before no longer matter to her now. And other things that did not matter to her before now matters to her. For sure, she sees a different picture of the world! Frankly, I just really like and enjoy this connection with her. I am hoping for more! CT 08.14.02 |
| August 10, 2002. Saturday Evening A family of four. Mom. Dad. A Boy. A Girl. A Cousin visitin'. Jumpin' around. Mom cooks. Dad does BBQ. Dad speaks. Watchin' a Disney-produced movie.. Make popsicles with Mango Juice. Mom gives watermelon to eat. Mom hugs. Boy and Girls play hide and seek. Scream! Ssh... Giggles. Look. Smile. Eat wings. Eat hot dog. Eat hamburgers. Play Karaoke with the Mic. Laugh! Hee hee.... Boy plays chess. "Can we go to the park?" Just another Saturday for a family. What so special? No, that's not the point. It's not about what they make, what they say or what they do. It's really about simply being in it and being part of it. CT 08.14.02 |
| A u g u s t 2 0 0 2 |
| August 17, 2002. Happy Birthday to me! I had a really happy birthday! Weird - my computer crashed early in the morning 1am on my birthday! I didn't get mad. Just thinkin', "Okay, so all the old is gone! Start anew!" So today I went with my friend to watch the Markham Jazz Festival. Yeah, the sun was quite bright and hot. I totally didn't expect that. But I was back in the neighbourhood I lived in when I first came to Canada, which is Unionville. Main Street! We were right at the Toogood Pond. Definitely stirred up some teenage memories. Hot dog, ice-cream... just takin' it easy... In the evening, we went to a charity concert for Matthew House at the Toronto Centre for Arts hosted by Justis Kao, a young Christan pianist. The concert started with a praise and worship session, and there was a live band there! It was quite a variety of features, like some vocals, a rap, jazz, rock, some songs Kao wrote. I had quite a good time. The piano solo of "Great is thy faithfulness" really touched me. Justis Kao is very talented; I really enjoyed watching him play. The concert was a blast! But he also shared about how other people have told him things like "You just can't do it", yet he went on with it, and was determined to use the gifts God gave him even though the school is so competitive, and everyone in the school is so "super-talented". One of his songs talked about always wanting to be the first but ending up being the last. But he still persevered on. This was something that I could identify with. And he has put the starting point of his commitment to telling others about God's love through music in his song "My Life for You." It is a wonerful song with great expressive lyrics in it. In the evening, pretty late, Helen and I went to have a nice dinner. Jacqueline joined up despite it was so late! Thank you Jacqueline! It's jus such a wonderful day having the company of two very good friends. What a pleasant way to start the 22nd year in my life! |
| August 24, 2002. Accident I injured myself today. My right fibula (the bone right above my ankle) is fractured. I am in a cast right now. After the check-up on Monday, I'll find out if I'll need to be in it for another 6 weeks. I was in a rush trying to ride my skateboard along Huron St. to a meeting. Usu. I do all right on that street, though I always knew the sidewalks are a bit bumpy for skating. This time, I might have bumped into a hump or something, but wasn't ready to fall. So I just lost balance. I remember my right ankle was twisted and twirled very violently (possibly by the skateboard), as I probably was struggling to jump off, before I feel flat on my face. Yeah, my face did touch the ground. Good thing is I didn't hit my head on anything. I could have been much worse if there was a brain injury. Later, I found out that my right shoulder, the palm of my left hand, some of the fingers on my right hand got a little bit of a scratch too. My right ankle was the worst though. It was swollen up very badly soon after the accident. It was supposed to be a meeting at the CCF office with several others to rehearse for the Frosh Orientation Events. I am so grateful several of my friends were there. Suzanne and Shirley were so kind to drive me to the hospital and be with me there the whole time. James Wu was running back and forth from the hospital to his apartment to get the ice pack, the t-shirt to wrap it up and the crutches. He made quite a few trips, was there taking care of the details too. Davin also came to the hospital later, taught me how to use the crutches bravely.. They were all there with me and for me when it was so scary. I knew it was serious so I was quite anxious even before I got x-rayed and told what went wrong. |
| Afterwards, many people called up to see how I am doing. They help me do this and that. So far the biggest difficulty I have is getting my meals or groceries. My friends have been so willing there to help me. I feel really really grateful. I feel very loved and cared for. I needed them to be there. I have always owed them a lot. Now I owe them even more!! Thank you my cool friends!! Thank you Lord for them all! My Dad and Mom. When they heard about this, I could feel that they felt really bad for me. I thought they would get upset or mad or something. Maybe I am always stuck in my childhood mentality. But actually to them, they have treated me as an adult already. They did not get mad but were very gentle and sympathetic. My Dad knew how it feels to get a part injured and lose mobility or convenience of doing simple chores. He wanted to even come to Toronto to take care of me. My Mom humoured at how both me and my sister like to get our ankles injured! Yeah, I haven't had a major injury like this for many years 'cause I haven't been active. This time, this happened. It does hurt badly. I was thinking why it happened. Well, it is an accident. And I figured that's what happens when you do any sport. There is always a risk, whether guys or girls. |