| Jonathan Berger's Poetry: Poem of the Day |
| RETURN TO SENDER Could I have my penis back? I mean, could I have my penis back, please? From the day I met you, I knew you'd hold the thing in escrow but it's been years since you've asked for a deposit and even your withdrawals are fewer and farther between so I ask you, with a clear conscience and a sense of futility: may I please have my penis returned to me? This is not a thing I ask lightly as a master of territorial pissings I was pleased to have you maintain my happiest possession my greatest gift. But times have changed and, for the first time in weeks – months – years I see a use for that which you have kept safe. I want it back. I want to get back in the game. You can help. If necessary, consider it a loan. I'll give my penis to you any time you want. But for now, I would appreciate it if you could give back what was once mine I won't abuse it much this time if you give it up, it'll be sublime, divine I will not whine I would think it very kind if you would please, please PLEASE return my penis to me. |