| Jonathan Berger's Poetry: Poem of the Day |
| TO MY BROTHER MICHAEL I gotta say, you're girlfriend's really cute. Smart, funny, caring, beautiful as all get out – she's too good for you, Mike. No, really. I mean it. You've got a wonderful girl, little brother, and, you know, if you don't start treating her right, I'm gonna have to take matters into my own hands. So here's what I advise: You've got to be polite to her. Treat her like a queen – or Winona Ryder. Buy her the most expensive gifts. No matter what it takes. Do NOT look at other women in her presence – ever. Look down if you have to. Poke your eyes out if you have to, but don't look at another. You do all these things, and maybe you'll be able to keep her. I mean, she's really incredible. Oh! Last piece of advice: you might want to pop her in the jaw every now and then. She's got my number, right? |