Scotland, 2005
How would I describe Scotland? Green, lush, mirrored lochs, sheer mountains, misty mornings and the odd Moo & Bah (supposedly the noises cows and sheep make respectively).
The getaway started with the joy of surprising Sal with our true destination, not Stratford Upon Avon, as I had lead her to believe. The secret was as well kept as Mundine’s mobile phone number.
I have family in England on my Grandad’s side (Mum’s dad). Martin, his nephew, lives in Stratford Upon Avon. We have tried several times to meet up since arriving and finally did when Martin visited his mother (92 yr old) in London a couple of weeks ago.
In order to get Sal to pack for a few days and to take the Friday off work, I lead her to believe we were to visit Martin in his Midlands’ home. It was somewhat more difficult to convince Sal why we needed to get up at 4:30am and to pack warm things with her walking gear (it was predicted to be the warmest weekend so far this year; it was 32 on Sunday). Our friends did their best to test the boundaries of the secret and enjoyed taking the piss in front of Sal:
- “How are you getting up to Stratford, Guys?”
- “What time do you need to leave, Guys?”
- “I have heard Stratford is a beautiful place. You must be sure to see …”
- And generally raised the topic which I was desperate to avoid.
I recently picked up management for two implementations, both clients based in Scotland: Shepherd & Wedderburn in Edinburgh and the Scottish Environment Protection Agency in Stirling. One of the first steps after a sale has been made and handed to the Projects Office, the project manager holds the project kick off meeting at the client’s site to set expectations, communications and most importantly build a rapport face to face. I arranged this for a Friday so that my return was not required immediately. I only needed to buy Sal’s flight and extend the car hire for 2 days to enjoy a Scottish weekend getaway.
Keith, SEPA’s account manager from hornbill, came for the morning session while Sal was happy to entertain herself during the day. No doubt she enjoyed relaxing after getting up at the crack of dawn (yes, the sun rises before 5am here!) and frustrations from missing our original flight (the second time we’ve done this and probably not the last).
The afternoon meeting finished sooner than expected, so we enjoyed a sandwich in West Princes Street Gardens, beneath Edinburgh castle (love that Prêt Manger, Gregos!). Had Scotty, Steve, or Versace sat in that very seat while living here? We could waste no time if we were to get up to Inverness and back for our Sunday night flight (surely we couldn’t miss two flam’n flights in one weekend!). We had seen a bit of Edinburgh with Ol & Cam and surely we’ll be back, no remiss, we took off heading north.
The first destination was the Wallace Monument, just outside Stirling (possibly Ollie’s favourite Scottish city – LOL - he really doesn’t rate it). Braveheart is not only top ten movies for me, but sits upon the throne with Aliens and Shrek striving podium dancers. The monument is worth a look. Fair height, fair view. Forward March!
Dinner in Glencoe, south of Fort William (of course Sal had a pie, Gatesy!) and a pint of carling pushed me towards sleep like a Stanley Kubrick movie. It was late and we needed to get cracking to find a B & B for the night. Unfortunately, I picked a weekend of a hiking challenge and it took more than an hour to find accommodation. It is here that the motto of the trip was fashioned: “No Vacancies”.
After the best night’s sleep I have had since leaving Aus, we decided to burn energy by taking the Gondola up the mountains for a meander. Unfortunately, cloudy weather brought out the light metre and the umpires took the players off the field before a ball had been bowled. Ah the fog … Say the words “Scottish highlands” and I visualise lush, green, fast rising mountains decapitated by rolling fogs.
We took advantage of the early start and calendar opening by covering a little more distance than planned and ventured to the Isle of Skye. We were not impressed by the Lonely Planet’s description of the region and were slowed by another great timing of the annual Skye Music Festival (Funny isn’t it, project managers spend their careers planning, yet I tend to keep spontaneity, flexibility and the unknown with our travels). Half way across Skye we decided on retracing our steps and heading to the southeast corner of the Isle, Kylerhea. It is here that the famous Otter Haven is located. To get there, you drive through a 7 mile winding dirt road that goes steeper than 20 degrees in parts. This made for some really fun driving and an animated Nagigator. We may not have seen otters, but we did watch some lazy swollen seals.
On the way to Skye, we lunched at Eilean Donan Castle. As you can see in the pictures, it is a charismatic structure wonderfully located upon the banks of loch Duich, imprisoned by sheer cliffs. Magical.
Probably the more famous icon of Scotland on par with the kilt is Lock Ness and the monster, Nessie. Mind you, with so many kilts around, I am surprised there have not been more reports of lurking monsters. Loch Ness is beautiful like her sisters and the ruins of Urquhart Castle gripping her banks are certainly worth visiting. I had to laugh when I learnt of the castle’s name. I immediately thought of the character race from a brilliant computer game called Star Control - the mighty Urquan and their ships which were one of the most powerful in the gallaxy. There is a short movie displayed on the castle’s history with the highlight following the credits. The screen retracts and curtains open to give you the first viewing of the ruins.
I found that most parts of Scotland evoked imagination of medieval times: Sweaty, filthy peasants and noblemen; horse and cart; running Mcleods in kilts (perhaps Versace and Jimmy’s forefathers); sieges; pitched battles; and hunting deer. It was like being in Ultima V or a scene from Rob Roy.
The only plan made was met when we arrived to spend the night in Inverness. The town had an Illawarra industrial feel combined with the Vatican. A nice meal and a bottle of wine had us walking along the waterways laughing and saying silly things.
A fantastic saying Sal pulled out is sure to become a favourite of mine – “Behead the Turtle”. Knowledge of Austin Powers will give you some insight into meaning. This saying can be used when a person is eager to drops the kids off and some clown gives them a nudge or words of reminder – your response should be “don’t behead the turtle!”
Upon our return to the B & B, we struggled to open the lock. Feeling much like a thief, I inspected the set of keys to discover the words “Roy Bridge Hotel” – Crap! We had forgotten to leave the set of keys when paying the bill from the previous night’s lodging. A quick call and promise to mail in the silverware did the trick (BTW, a few days later and those keys are still in my possession). Our current host heard us struggling and laughed when hearing the tale. She didn’t find it amusing in the morning when she caught me leaving with her keys. She affectionately labelled me The Key Collector. Perhaps I’ll get a part on the Matrix.
We started God’s Day at Colluden Battle Site, a short drive east of the city. This is where the Scots were routed in their last battle. Reportedly, the location looks just as it was during that 68 minute battle. I concur. It was a field then. It is a field now. Skipping the guided tour, we headed north to the coast to Fort George, ideal for a leisurely walk among the grounds.
A walk is just what Jenny Craigo ordered, as with our trips around UK thus far, we start the day with an English breakfast feast (or the Highland breakfast, which is the same but with black pudding – 3 Champion Crouch stars out of 5). Well on the way to becoming a fat bastard if we keep these meals up.
A trip to Scotland would not be if you did not visit St Andrews and Blair Castle. We left these until the last afternoon. We enjoyed lunch after walkies and have some amusing movies from the castle. Our leisurely pace perhaps forced us to rush St Andrews as we did not absorb the atmosphere as much as we would have liked.
Getting back to our Fulham house was a nightmare! The flight was delayed 2 hours, along with many other flights, and it took nearly half an hour to get our baggage on the carousel. Therefore, the tube had just closed when finally arriving. There is only one bus that comes every 30 minutes from Heathrow to Central London. With the many people trying to get home, it took hours (stumps at 3am).
Missing the flight there and then the nightmare getting home hardly hampered a terrific stay.
Check out my Scotland Photo Album here.
You can email me at tjcrouch@hotmail.com