Domestic
Abuse
There are many forms of abuse which go under the
generally known titles of Physical (the kind you can see and feel),
Ritual, Sexual, Verbal, Emotional and/or Mental. I'm sure there
are more but these are the most commonly recognised. Abuse is not
gender specific as males experience it too. Abuse happens
everywhere - in the workplace, at home, in religious communities,
among the well-to-do and not so well-to-do, etc etc. My
experience is of Domestic Abuse.
What is Domestic Abuse
Domestic Abuse is a term used to describe abuse occuring
within a family environment. The place where we expect to feel
safe is often where most abuse happens.
I have never experienced most of the types of abuse but I
have and still do to some extent experience Emotional and Mental
abuse. Of course, it wasn't until I sought help (see my story)
that I came to understand that I was being abused from very early
on in my relationship. It was so subtle., leading me to believing
I was inadequate and at fault, misplaced indeterminate fear.
As is the case with all types of abuse, Emotional/Mental
abuse is not gender selective, but perhaps IS more common with
females because of what we are brought up to believe. That belief
being that the Male has control over his mate and children and we
are "expected" to accept that belief and not question.
If we dare to voice our opinions, we are made to feel that
because we are female, sure, we can have our opinions if we're
lucky (whoopie!!!) but they don't count and I (being the male)
will decide and do what I believe is right and not be "challenged".
These beliefs also contribute to the other forms of abuse.
Thankfully, times are beginning to change and
men are being educated in how to treat women - with respect as a
Human Being. Just because we are female, does not mean we are any
less a Human Being. We are human too and are blessed with
feelings, thoughts and opinions too and need to be able to "express"
them safely, not "suppress" them for fear of
retaliation. I do not suggest for one minute, that this is
strictly a problem that males have toward women and children, as
women too can be just as abusive toward their male partner and
children. We ALL need to be educated in
how to respect each other and how to recognise abuse when it is
occurring so we can do something about it.
I do not propose here to educate anyone about
this "disease" as I am neither a Counsellor or Educator
but I will be listing some places where we can find more
information and/or go to get help. If you feel you would like to
know more about it, whether you feel you are a victim, an abuser,
know someone being abused, or just someone who cares and wants to
educate themselves or others on this subject, then please do
visit these places. Books too are a great source of information.
Most Libraries would have books dealing with the subject. Only by
educating ourselves can we hope to stop Domestic Abuse in all
it's forms. We need also to teach our children about Domestic
Abuse and it's consequences so as to break the cycle, so that
they themselves do not grow up continuing the pattern,
particularly if they are growing up in an abusive environment
where the pattern is already set. Research has shown that the
child who grows up with it, is more likely to continue that
pattern into adulthood, thereby continuing the cycle of abuse. Do
we really want our children to behave that way. Only by caring
enough to do something about it can we hopefully prevent this and
stamp out abuse in all its forms.
If I have "helped" anyone by what I
have written here and in My Story/Resources, then I have achieved
something. I am not looking for sympathy, I have written my story
to help me with the healing process. I have done my little bit to
help you understand this "disease". The rest is up to
you!
This candle burns for all the victims and
survivors of Domestic Violence/Abuse.
If your page contains information about this subject, please take
it and place it on your page too!
If you feel that you would prefer to go back and visit some
of my other pages rather than continue on, you are most welcome
to of course. I sure hope you decide to continue further though.
Use the legend below to visit my other pages. Thank you for
having taken the time to read what I have to say.
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