Write Or Wrong 4

*This weeks column is dedicated to my younger brother, Dan, who really does wish life were a musical.

I move through life rather quietly and unnoticed. As a writer, I express myself in a rather quiet manner that people can enjoy without the distraction of noise. Unfortunately, almost everyone else in my life seems to be loud and proud. They are all singers and dancers . . . and I hate them all for it. Being that my talent is the aforementioned ability to write, I kinda hate all those people who can sing. Anywhere I go, I can’t escape it. My brother is Mr. Musical; he sings and dances like there is no tomorrow. My girlfriend seems to be his accomplice because whenever they are together they sing like it’s going out of style. And I can go on and on about the myriad of people who break out into song when they hear a good tune; but I won’t do that. Not at all.

So instead, I imagine how the world might be a more interesting place if we all did break out the medleys and dance routines when the moment called for it. I sat back one day and imagined life as if it were an amalgamation of Singing in the Rain and Moulin Rouge. Yes, I know, it sounds like a rather scary concept but read on.

Just think about it: You are sitting next to you girlfriend, talking about stuff. Suddenly, she kisses you. Your heart is racing. Goose bumps form everywhere on your body. You are excited beyond belief. What do you do? Kiss her back? Give her a hug and utter some smooth line to make her dig you even more? Nah, you start singing. Preferably “Perfect One” by Lit. Do ya get it kids? Am I making sense? Do ya feel like singing? Do ya feel like dancing?

No?

Not yet?

Come on, kids! It’s easy. It’s fun! You don’t even have to sing along. Just let the music be part of you life’s soundtrack. Hit the point in you life where you are having trouble deciding what you want to do in the future? Let “Army” by Ben Fold play in the background and ruminate. Set up on a blind date with some chick you’re just not into? Wait till she asks you what you’re looking for in a woman and start singing “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” by Cake. Feeling down after losing the championship game? Is life just not what you envision it to be? Well, fear not, fair reader. Just skulk around your house to the tune of Soundgarden’s “Black Hole Sun”. Or have you just been shafted by the government at income tax time? Well then, you can sing almost anything by Rage Against the Machine!

I think I’m going a bit overboard but I think I’m starting to get the point across to you all. Sing. Dance. To whatever music is appropriate for the moment. Trust me, it’s liberating and it’ll just take things in to the realm of being surreal.

Yeah, you’re probably thinking that I’m a wacko right about now. “Singing and dancing when I’m feeling happy or sad?” “Having a soundtrack for my life?” Yes people, life as a musical. It’s the way of the future. So join me now as I sing and dance my way into stardom . . . or just e-mail Chad and request my resignation because there are going to be more off the wall columns like this in the future. Many more.

Next Week: Rick’s Television Season Review