Corporate Heaven Proposal

It’s like Touched By An Angel, but with a whole other meaning to the word touched.

The series is about what if Heaven really existed and took its cue from Earth. Angels act the way people do. Heaven and Hell are like rival companies trying to get the most customers. Jesus was the bastard son of an angel that was one out of the million that actually got some of the Heavenly power. The Angel of Death is never invited to the really good parties. The Anti-Christ is on Earth and he really isn’t evil, he just can’t help himself.

The first issue has a nice little story about the Anti-Christ and his therapist entitled “Am I Evil?” For as long as he can remember, Jesse Church has been different. He had different parents to suite his current interests, he could make people do what he wanted with a thought and he just accidentally made that window washer get picked to death by a flock of pigeons. Is he the Anti-Christ or just some delusional paranoid?

The second issue is about Gabriel in a tale that I call “Touched By An Angel.” Gabriel is a whore, plain and simple. He goes down to Earth, finds young virgins (preferably under thirteen), lays the whole “mother of God” trip on them and gets him some of that good lovin’. Jesus was his kid. Moses was his kid. Only a very select few get divine powers. In fact, he’s had around three million kids over the years. What a whore!

The third issue is about the Angel of Death at a party in Heaven called “Life of the Party.” We learn all about what it means to be the Angel of Death and how it is a lot of work with no benefits. That is until he meets Wendy at the party. Wendy was a 92-year old woman who desperately wanted to die, so she got a nurse at the hospital to end it all for her. Death was such a release for her and she’s eternally grateful to our Angel buddy. Hey, maybe the job does do some good.

The fourth issue features a tale about the PR departments for both Heaven and Hell called “Propaganda.” How does one recruit new people to the cause? Was the Bible just a cleverly devised press release that’s still got everyone fooled? Is the cross really a deeply rooted religious symbol or merely a viral sigil (aka corporate logo)? Are rock stars really just pawns of Satan? All this and why God loves everyone in this issue of Corporate Heaven! Read it and go straight to Heaven (of Hell, whatever your preference)!

The first year of self-contained stories are all leading up to the big story: what happens when God gets killed? Suddenly Angels are being knocked off and panic is rampant in the Golden City. Who’s doing it? Is it Lucifer? Nope, he just dropped dead. What about the Angel of Death? Can’t be, he just escorted himself away to where Angels go when they die. It all comes down to the Angel of War, the Angel of Love and Michael, the Archangel. It isn’t who you think. Okay, it’s the Angel of Love. That is sort of obvious but why is the Angel of Love killing everyone? Out of love, what else?

Okay, I don’t have any of the issues in between planned out in any detail, but what do you expect in one night? Huh? What? Sorry, I got a little caught up in the moment there. Yeah, I’ll have some more later.