comments
(name) fiona
(what you're ranting about) *sigh*
(occupation) whatever
(favorite game) i like my neopet
(comments) "floating atoms of fire...don't condense our fine
atmosphere into drops of rain spattering the pavement. let us still breath the
fire dust. fireflies among the wistaria."
(name) Joshua Bronson
(occupation) SUNY at Buffalo computer science student
(comments) I recently went shopping for a joystick. They were designed with
seemingly perfect aesthetics, gently slipping into a gamer's hands,
molding themselves perfectly to allow for the ultimate gaming
experience. However, 90% of the joysticks I found were utterly
useless. No one else I know has this problem. Why couldn't I find a
joystick? I'm left-handed. I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take
it anymore.
My initiation into a righties' world began when I was very young:
perhaps two or three. My doctor was certain that I was
right-handed. If you held a lollipop in front of a child, he said,
they'd be likely to grab at it with their dominant arm. He held it
directly in front of me, and I grabbed at it with my left arm. Did
that mean I was left-handed? my parents asked. Well, no, not
necessarily. As three concerned right-handed people looked on, the
lollipop was held to my right, within easy grasping distance for my
right hand. I grabbed it with my left. My mother immediately threw
herself onto my father, sobbing uncontrolably. My father was
stunned. The doctor tried to console them, saying "there are lots of
left-handed joysticks out there. Really." But they knew it wasn't
true.
In kindergarten I began to learn how truly different I was as I tried
to find a pair of scissors. All of the scissors had a tiny "R," and
all of the other children happily used them. Only two or three were
marked with an "L," and they were often mangled, bent, and uncared
for. I began to understands how much right-handed people valued
me. Later, in grade school, as I practiced my script, I was further
categorized as I listened to my teacher. Yes, normally you should tilt
your paper to the left. Oh, Josh, I forgot that you were
left-handed. How silly of me. You should tilt your paper to the right.
There are right-handed desks, scissors, joysticks, cameras, computer
mice, swords, and even the F-16 fighter jet is designed to be flown by
a right-handed pilot. People drive on the right hand side of the road,
and when they turn left, they have to wait for the people turning
right. You can go right on red, but not left. There are endless
examples.
Anyone who says that lefties aren't being suppressed is simply a
right-handed oppressor. The truly left-handed will agree with me when
I say that we have been oppressed since the beginning of time. Perhaps
it is because our brain mass is larger and righties are
jealous. Perhaps it is because we surprise them in fights and sporting
events with backwards stances. We will no longer take right-handed
oppression. Lefties unite!
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