1.  You're sitting on a park bench, and a Boy Scout comes up
             and helps you cross your legs.

         2.  You keep repeating yourself.

         3.  Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.

         4.  You tune into the easy listening station... on purpose.

         5.  You light the candles on your birthday cake, and a group of
             campers form a circle and start singing "Kumbaya."

         6.  Someone compliments you on your layered look... and you're
             wearing a bikini.

         7.  You keep repeating yourself.

         8.  You start video taping daytime game shows.

         9.  You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.

         10. Your insurance company has started sending you their free
             calendar... a month at a time.

         11. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.

         12. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.

         13. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...
             and it stays out.

         14. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.

         15. Conversations with people your own age often turn into
             "dueling ailments."

         16. You keep repeating yourself.

         17. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.

         18. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag," and
              "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.

         19. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and
             go for the rocker.

         20. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."